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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 7293
Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:35 am 
 

praey wrote:
iamntbatman, I must say, I was quite surprised to see a song about the Snallygaster in this compilation. I assume you live near Braddock Heights, Maryland? If so that's pretty cool, I actually used to live less than a mile away from Braddock Mountain. That's a very cool subject for a doom metal song!


I live in Germantown, so maybe about 15 miles south of the areas where the notorious Snallygaster claimed his victims. My family has lived in the state for several hundred years though, so I've been hearing about the Snallygaster for a long time. It's a pretty demented beast and the whole seven-pointed-star hex thing that people were doing to ward it off caught my interest.

SLK: fuck you for mentioning Korn! I've heard a song here or there but I'm not sure if I've ever heard anything from the first album. Either way, definitely not an influence. Yeah, Coffins/Autopsy/Runemagick and stuff like that were more of an inspiration, musically. Yeah, there were some timing issues I'm sure. Did a bit of a rush job recording this since I slacked off and waited until the weekend it was due. Maybe I'll take a look at the Reaper file and see which of my guitar tracks was out of time (it sounded like one of 'em was, to me) and rerecord it. Maybe re-record the vocals, too, or at least parts of them that I didn't like too much.

garthmargeni: yeah, originally I wanted to do clean vocals. Nothing Dio-like, but maybe more midranged and reverb'd out like The Wounded Kings' old singer. I wasn't really feeling too confident in my abilities, though, so decided to do harsh vocals instead.

deathprog: it was definitely meant to be pretty loose-feeling, but not so much that mistakes in my playing were super evident, so I'll try to fix those as I explained above.

L'Ilwhyan: the really unfortunate thing is that, when I mix the drum track, it sounds really fantastic to my ears. However, whenever I mix it into the rest of the song, so much of it is lost under the guitars. I could probably crank up the cymbals a bit, and the snare, with no issue, but the bass drums are hard to make louder without either making them really clicky and dumb sounding or really bassy-boomy and even more dumb sounding. There are probably some key frequencies in there I could give a boost to in the EQ to get them to be more clear in the mix, so I'll try hunting for that in future projects.

Thanks for the kind words and constructive criticism guys. Sometime soon-ish I might finally get around to finishing my demo for my ambient project (one more track left to finish!) and then I'd like to move on to a whole album of Gloaming stuff, probably with this song on it, with the fixes I talked about above. I've had a lot of death/doom ideas kicking around for a while, so maybe it's time to actually do something with them!
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
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Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 6:48 am 
 

Mixing bass drums is from my limited experience the hardest part of all. I suppose that's why hack producers have the tendency to make it sound all clicky; to make it easy to hear and thus more noticeably augment guitar rhythms...
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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 7:33 am 
 

Sorry, that's what the distortion sounded like to me. Wasn't the actual playing or the riffs that made me think of that, it was just that thick mush they used back when they came out. And a bit of help on the kick... what I do is boost the mids in it. That usually keeps it sounding natural cause you'll get the natural fade out and boom of the low end, but the attack is more pronounced and therefore...heard.
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CorpseFister
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:07 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:28 pm 
 

Thanks for the all the feedback thus far guys!

So about my song- the lyrics are based on this news story I read years ago- this dude gets a heart transplant that saves his life. The donor had killed himself with a shotgun blast to the head, and later the recipient mets the guys the widow and they get married. All is well until the new owner of the heart get depressed and kills himself- in the exact same manner! I like the idea of this heart being filled with some sort of spiritual corruption and the suicide opening a connection to the dead that then compelled the new owner to also kill himself.

As for the music, this was really different from anything I’d done before, so there’s lots of room for improvement. I know only the absolute basics of guitar and the first time I played a bass was about an hour before I recorded the song, so I knew it wasn’t gonna be anything earth-shattering. Something I want to learn more about is using amp sims- I downloaded LeCab after seeing a few people mention it, but I had trouble getting that thick, heavy sound I associate with doom metal, so I decided to mix the bass higher and just fiddled with the amp sim till I had something I thought was decent. I also would have liked to do something a bit more dynamic with the composition, but I don’t really have the guitar skills to riff like the rest of you guys so I just embraced my enjoyment of simple droning stuff and rolled with it. (Ilwhyan I liked that comment – ‘xasthur as funeral doom’ haha).

The thing I’d like to improve the most is vocals. I was going for the intelligible growl style, but its new to me so while I’m pretty sure I’ve got the voice for it, I’ve got a lot of work to do on my technique and performance. One thing that really worked against me was inexperience recording this style- I kept getting big “OOOFFF” sounds of air pushing into the mic which was totally killing the mix. To try to make it listenable, I used a filter to roll off the bottom end until I was at that telephone/am radio range where the human voice is sharpest. I then compressed that back together with a quiet version of the original to hopefully get a bit of bottom end without the crappy part. It made the track listenable, but unfortunately it robbed the vocal of any presence, of all the oomph and body to it, so I think it came across with a lot less power.

Oh and actually, what did yous guys think of the drums? I recorded myself playing an electronic kit, which I know I can’t get to sound totally real, but I think it comes across more realistic and lively than a drum machine (to my ears anyway).

I used a Roland SH201 for keys, a Yamaha DTX electronic kit, a BOSS effects pedal, and a spare guitar & bass I got from my bandmates. No idea what kind they are, but apparently they are decent. I used Reaper (for the first time- pretty cool once I got into it), FLStudio and Wavelab for production and recording. All in all it was a fun challenge, and I’m a firm believer that the best way to learn is by doing something, figuring out what needs improvement and then doing it again, so I’m glad I got a song in.


Blah blah blah. Now the part you really care about- reviews! ;)

Apteronotus – Some cool riffs here man. I’d love to hear this song developed more- vocals, better drums and what not, could be rather good. I like the weird little synth wail that comes in around 30 odd seconds. As others have mentioned, the guitar tone is a bit odd for the style, but I kinda like it. It might sound really sweet to keep this tone, then double it up with a crunchy, very present sounding guitar track. So yeah, I’d like to hear it further developed, but for what it is you captured a good trad/doom vibe and have some enjoyable riffs to back it up. As it stands I probably wouldn’t listen to it much, but if you took the idea further I’d check it out.

Awblaster – A nice dark, introspective mood on this song. I really enjoy the main lead that reoccurs throughout the song. Some really nice touches on the bass performance too. The growls sound good man, although I think maybe try playing with a slight touch of reverb or other effects- the production on them is a bit flat, I think they would sound good being a bit more roomy. The one disappointing thing in this track for me was the section after the spoken word- that seemed like the part of the song where it should just kick my ass, come in with some giant, monsterous riff, or a big soaring lead. Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a let down. It just doesn’t seem to deliver on the promise of the rest of the song. So, I enjoyed most of what you’ve got here, some good stuff, it could have been better.

Crustasfuck – This one is intensely overbearing, nice work on setting the mood. I feel like it might not need to be quite as long as it is to create the effect you’re going for, but that’s just my preference. The production is pretty good- sick guitar tone, and I really like the isolated sound to the vocals. Although theres a constant hiss that detracts from it- I’m not sure this came from the guitar distortion or if you’ve got a synth backing it up there… either way theres a bit much in the high end that could be EQ’d down. I really like the choice to end with a noise loop, that’s a really nice touch- although shit man! If you were gonna go nuts with the distortion you should have adjusted the master volume accordingly- if someone had this cranked on their monitors they probably wouldn’t be pleased. All in all a solid effort though!

deathprog23- I like the feel of this song, very solitary and contemplative. It kind of wanders a bit too much though, there was the odd bit here and there that didn’t really contribute to the overall feel of the song, they were just there. On the other hand, I liked your riffing for the most part, but it was strongest during the slower sections. Was the song does speed up, your harsh vocals are pretty good- maybe a touch over effected, but still nice and forceful. One thing I really didn’t like was some of your uses of the drum machine. I can see you were trying to add emphasis, but just raising the volume for a couple measures doesn’t come across very convincing. Still, some good riffs and nice melodies here- the last vocal melody totally reminds me of something Burton Bell of Fear Factory would do. Oh and nice of a synth in the outro, really dug that too.

diamondfamicom- This song rocks man. Some killer riffs here, and they flow together quite nicely. I realized I really dug this track when I woke up this morning humming the main riff, so nice work there! I really like how the song is composed all in all- from the rocking, driving beginning, to the moody, melodic conclusion. It really works- and the transitional section flows perfectly. I think it might have been Ilwhyan who mentioned this- but the clean vocals definitely need some work. The tone of your voice has a lot of potential though! I think my only major complaint with this one is the production sounds a bit muddled at time, like I’m listening to a rip from youtube or something- the guitar and harsh vocals seem to crunch together a bit. Oh and the gang shouts sound like they are totally clipped. But other than some performance and production stuff, I really like this song, the composition is really well done. Overall, good job man!

Willoos- Love it, great vibe. Definitely more of a DSBM but eh fuck it, it’s cool. The main riff is great, compelling, emotive, driving- everything good. The drumming is tight to, some great energy there- seems like many DSBM bands to strip the drums (machine) down to little more than basic patterns, but this really shows how a strong performance can add to the style. I think its comendable for trying something different with the vocals… but it didn’t quite work for me. Either maybe go with classic DSBM shrieking wails or something closer full on singing. I dunno, after a few listens they grew on me, but it still wouldn’t have been my first choice. Either way, they don’t really detract from what is overall an excellent song. Did you used to post as Dusterling, in one of the previous challenges? Anyway, let me know if you get an album or EP together, I’d definitely check out more of this.

Haightred – I like the mood of this song- it seems mellow but heavy, which works with the title ‘Astral Entities’. I have no idea what the song is really about, but it creates the impression of a massive stellar body, huge and timeless. The guitar could come up in the mix, and yhe synths you used in the middle of the song are kinda weak. If you don’t have higher quality VSTs or patches available, try some reverb and maybe some stereo separation. They just sound very flat, like the presets of any one of a hundred free low quality VSTs floating around the internet. I do like the synth you used to fill in the low end though, that was an unexpected and cool choice! The progression of the song is enjoyable- it meanders a bit in the middle, but it has a sufficiently rousing end section to make it worth it. This didn’t blow my mind or anything, but it’s a really solid track and I’ll definitely give it a spin from time to time when I come back to this comp.

iamntbatman- This song is sick man. A totally dark and dirty vibe to it. The guitar is really fucking crunchy, it sounds really cool. And hey- I thought your vocals sounded pretty good! I’d like to hear them up a touch in the mix even, it sounds like you tried to hide them a bit, but from what I can hear, no need to man. It’s probably personal preference, but I feel like the drums are a tad high in your mix- maybe just the cymbals. They sound pretty good though! I’m not sure that the riffing style is really quite my thing, so I don’t know how much to really say about the song, but the production is really good. This is definitely one the best produced songs of the comp and I could see lots of people getting down with a full length or EP of material like this. Keep up the fine work sir.

Kingnuuuur – Stoner jam indeed. I should have probably taken a bunch of drugs before reviewing this. It takes the song a bit to get going, but man once that riff kicks in, fucking tune out and turn on. I think it was batman who said it, but I could listen to that riff for waaay too long, haha. Now I know some people didn’t seem to care for it, but I loved the psych jam section in the middle- it was an unexpected but not unwelcome break! Shit I think it would have been cool to go even further with that section and get someone rocking out on a Hammond organ over top. Anyway I would have loved to hear this song developed more- add vocals, maybe work on the composition of the middle of the song to make it progress better and feel a bit less like an off the cuff jam session. Oh and the guitar tone was really nice, but could have used a bit more bass. Anyway, considering it’s a jam you cranked out, this is rather enjoyable.

Nightwisher1990 – Others have mentioned the problems with the bass/guitar tuning, so no need to bring it up again. Some good work with the synths here- that one brassy section has a vaguely exotic feel to it, which I like. I think you might have mixed the vocals a bit high, and maybe used a bit too much of that effect, but they sound pretty solid. The quieter sections toward the end were cool, some nice clean vocals in there too. The riffs don’t knock me over, but they are pretty solid I think. A good effort in all, but definitely would have been better without the guitar tuning issue.

SLK- I was expecting a heavy mix and you definitely delivered. It’s killer- regardless of what you’re playing the tone and mix of the song is just fucking crushing and heavy. As far as the song itself I really dug it- I was expecting straight-up gut wrenching funeral doom, so when that riff hits I was pleasantly surprised. It’s almost groovy, but not quite… like what the undead think of as groovy. Kind of a churning and creaking of decaying body parts as a bunch of zombies sway and stagger around to the riff. It’s a nasty piece of work, and it progresses really well, fixes my attention for the whole 7 minutes. As expected sir, nice fucking work.

PS the name of your band sounds like a monster from the Godzilla movies, which rules.




There it is boyos. I tried to find things I liked and didn't about every song. I don't listen to a ton of doom and I'm pretty new to producing metal, so take my cricitisms with a grain of salt.

Anyway, nice work everyone who finished a song- high fives all around!

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Nightwisher1990
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:26 pm
Posts: 476
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:39 pm 
 

Well, after listening to tracks, I felt like listening to totally new genres, being familiar with only Death Doom , Gothic Doom and Funeral Doom made me just confused about how would I build my criticism, because it's the first time to hear "Stoner" and "Sludge" I don't really know, I'll write reviews after another listen, that's really confusing.
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Duisterling
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:12 pm
Posts: 640
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:56 pm 
 

CorpseFister wrote:
Did you used to post as Dusterling, in one of the previous challenges? Anyway, let me know if you get an album or EP together, I’d definitely check out more of this.

Nah I'm still here. I just hardly ever post. We collaborated before though and we've been making music together since... I think 6 years now? Something like that. We've got multiple live bands/studio projects with full lineups founded by him, me or the both of us. I'm starting to ramble. In any case, if you want to hear something, let me know.

And in regards to Willoos, I'm not involved in that, but he's got a demo and a full-length out already, so checking out more of it shouldn't be a problem.

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CorpseFister
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:07 pm
Posts: 1856
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 6:05 pm 
 

Whoops! I think that’s maybe where the confusion came in. But yeah, I really dug the track ‘Irrelevant’ that you did a few challenges ago. If you guys have anything doom or black related up on the internet, send a link!

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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 11637
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 10:13 pm 
 

Appreciate the great praise and the name actually comes from Clive Barker's book 'Imajica' The short of it... it's the capital of the Second Dominion in which the ruler over all the dominions resides.
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Duisterling
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:12 pm
Posts: 640
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:50 am 
 

CorpseFister wrote:
Whoops! I think that’s maybe where the confusion came in. But yeah, I really dug the track ‘Irrelevant’ that you did a few challenges ago. If you guys have anything doom or black related up on the internet, send a link!

Ok, I'll send you a PM.

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6329
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:12 am 
 

Nightwisher1990 wrote:
Well, after listening to tracks, I felt like listening to totally new genres, being familiar with only Death Doom , Gothic Doom and Funeral Doom made me just confused about how would I build my criticism, because it's the first time to hear "Stoner" and "Sludge" I don't really know, I'll write reviews after another listen, that's really confusing.

Yeah, doom is a diverse genre in that stoner doom can be the polar opposite of funeral doom or death/doom thematically. Let me advice you that you can't review different genres objectively or according to standards that you think an enthusiast of a certain style might have for the music. You'll just have to write down what you think about the songs. Not whether they're good stoner metal or good funeral doom, but whether they sound good to you or not.
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Grimmig
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:12 am
Posts: 492
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 4:17 pm 
 

Still upset that I wasn't able to get my song done for this challenge, we had some really great riffs done and the guy playing guitar just got a new recording interface. Was really pumped and thought it'd be my best song yet, but I dunno what happened on his end.

In any case, I just wanted to chime in and say I thought diamondfamicom's clean vocals were one of the best parts of his song. Maybe it's just me, but I have a thing for those Daniel Johnston / Jeff Magnum type of voices that aren't really technically great I guess. I wouldn't change them at all, but that's just me.
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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 12:48 am 
 

Everyone who has provided reviews has my greatest gratitude. I am finding the commend extremely helpful and constructive for the stuff I plan on doing in the future. A lot of the feedback I got was expected and a lot was new stuff for me to think about so you all have my thanks. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to listen and comment and it is cool how we had enough people participating.

Also, I to put up some review for the other entries, but a bit later as I am swamped at the moment. It was really great to be able to listen to everyone's take on the genre.
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nahcruof
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:38 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:44 pm 
 

Kingnuuuur made an excellent stoner metal jam, the first riffs are very akin to Electric Wizard. And the bass and the solo near the end are very badass.

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6329
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 2:39 pm 
 

Apteronotus wrote:
Everyone who has provided reviews has my greatest gratitude. I am finding the commend extremely helpful and constructive for the stuff I plan on doing in the future. A lot of the feedback I got was expected and a lot was new stuff for me to think about so you all have my thanks. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to listen and comment and it is cool how we had enough people participating.

Also, I to put up some review for the other entries, but a bit later as I am swamped at the moment. It was really great to be able to listen to everyone's take on the genre.

You had some really cool ideas in your song Geophagus. I hope you will develop it, because I have a feeling that you will one day record something rather amazing. :)
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kingnuuuur
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Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:35 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:49 pm 
 

nahcruof wrote:
Kingnuuuur made an excellent stoner metal jam, the first riffs are very akin to Electric Wizard. And the bass and the solo near the end are very badass.

Thanks! I'll eventually write a more serious EP of the stuff. I just need to find some vocals goddamn it! Gelseth_Andrano was willing to do some but he's been MIA for a month now.

I'm in the process of writing my reviews, they should be up during the weekend.

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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:38 pm 
 

well I already offered up to puke blood over it.
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kingnuuuur
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:35 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:49 am 
 

Haha yeah. Coming soon folks.

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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:48 pm 
 

Well cum a little sooner.
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nahcruof
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:38 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:15 pm 
 

That's not what she said.

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kingnuuuur
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:35 pm
Posts: 2122
PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:12 am 
 

My reviews, late like everything else I do.



Apteronotus : Awerewa - Geophagus
Interesting songwriting. Don't think I've heard something like this before. Mesmerizing rhythm, jumping from what seems to be trad doom, into jazzy progressions with seventh chords. And those "Aaahh" voices... Who what where? Some post-apocalyptic destitute pulp fiction scenery is going through my mind while listening to this. The production is the weakest aspect of the track, but the thing is I don't know what to recommend here. The guitars are far from heavy but still growling with the ounce of overdrive that they have left, like some weakened horribly mutated thing that was once a dog, which in turn fits the atmosphere of the song. The drums definitely need more presence (and better writing for that matter), and so does the bass. Overall, and as others have said, I'd seriously like to hear this style get more developed. As unique as it is, it still sounds foetal at this stage, but who knows where you might end up with it.

Awblaster : Amaritude - Alignment of the Stars
Lacks aggression right off the bat. The rhythm guitar lacks a lot of punch and volume, and the vocal performance lacks dynamics and is almost dispassionate. The lead guitar actually sounds like a jazz guitar. The drum programming lacks explosiveness and variety. Anyways, it's pretty much only two chords repeated until 2:33, and it's not a very exciting change either, yet another couple of chords in fact. An interesting bit at 3:12 though, can't remember where I heard something like that. Quite otherworldly compared to the rest of the song. Then it's back again to the same old, same old. The mix is OK, but again you should definitely look into boosting the guitar and its key frequencies. Same applies for the bass I'd say, just revise the whole mix altogether.

CorpseFister : The Flesh Remembers
The growling vocals are fine as opposed to the occasionally repeated "HUAAAA" scream which I found rather funny. :P I really dug your synth in The Ninth Ring and I really like it here, always dreamy sounding. My favourite part is the one at 3:10, ethereal and creepy, almost like it's evoking a flashback. I can barely hear the guitar, but it doesn't sound like it's doing much anyway so I can't comment on your performance. Pretty minimalist writing, but that's understandable given the circumstances leading to your submission. Because of that, it also doesn't top The Ninth Ring (which I think is a little hard to top anyway).

CrustAsFuckExistence : Solitude & Despair
Nice intro, reminds me a bit of The Call of the Wretched Sea. Wow that upper midrange has fatigued my ears in less a minute, you should really look into EQing it. The songs seems like the type of funeral doom that I'd normally listen to, but again major ear fatigue here, very bad. Would've liked more interesting things to happen with the overlaying synth other than doubling the guitar notes, but I guess it's fine. Something's up with the vocals, I can't make out what's happening, some sort of weird reverberated popping/bubbling/burping, but it's giving a distinct alien feeling, which I suprisingly like. HOLY SHIT that ending, like screaming souls vacuumed into grinding machinery that's LOUD AS FUCK. So yeah, definitely work on mixing and balancing the guitar with the other instruments, notably the drums which are way too quiet.

deathprog23 : hvy.wtr
The relatively low volume is a relief after CAFE's track, but then I wished that it was a little louder again. Pretty laid back song with some depressive moments at first. I liked the shift of gear at 4:22. Reminds me of Anathema or Katatonia. I dig the clean vocals even if there's some slight dissonance with the instruments. The guitar tone is actually very similar to the one in Awblaster's track, which means that you should look into beefing it up. The change at 5:01 is perhaps a bit too sudden, you should've definitely made a build up for it. A sudden flange effect appears! The ending sounds too jovial and peaceful, like a walk in the park on a sunny day or something. You know what, I think the songwriting here is good, but unfortunately the production leaves a lot to be desired. Try more presence and gain for the guitars for starters.

diamondfamicom : Super Famicom - I Will Only Be Yours (Devil Eyes)
Finally some action. Most intense song so far up until the break in the middle. "If you don't answer he will come in my bed, and then he forms from his head a vagina with piercing... Eeeeyes! The Devil never dies!" Is this correct or did I just completely butcher your lyrics? Anyways, I think that your harsh vocals are MUCH better than your cleans. Those gang shouts are straight up fucking black metal of the awesome variety, use them more! The riffs are definitely among the better ones in this comp, although I can't quite point out the style being played, almost like a cross between epic doom and DSBM. Cool solo ending. Better production would make this go a long way, though it's still in my top three songs for this comp.

Grofweg : Willoos - Vervallen
Not strictly doom at first, but it's still pretty good stuff. Killer riffs. I would listen to a whole release of this, BUT the shouted vocals I didn't like at all. They sound both too distant and monotonous, even annoying sometimes, like you're begging to be shot at. I think that if you re-recorded and remixed them, it would vastly improve the song, for sure. Your songwriting is really awesome, something I think you've already proven in the spring theme-based challenge as well. Also, I think this is one of only two tracks to have real recorded drums (the other being SLK's) which greatly contributes to the dynamics and the raw power of the riffs. Production is OK for DSBM but lacking a bit in punchiness. The doom/black metal bit at 1:50 and the slow gradual build up following it are even more killer, reminiscent of Swallow the Sun, minus the polished production of course. Definitely one of, if not the best track of the challenge, but PLEASE fix those vocals!

Haightred : Astral Entitites
The drums are exceedingly weak here. The guitar's mids are way too scooped, which makes it harder to hear what's being played, but fortunately the synth is doubling the guitars to make things a little more intelligible. I'm hearing some very nice lead lines throughout. Not a fan of the doubled vocals here, in fact some clean vocal parts would've definitely made this more enjoyable. The guitars at 2:22 remind me of The Patriarch from Kreator's Violent Revolution. Like I said, the song has some cool guitar leads going for it. The part at 3:30 yet again reminds me of more Anathema, probably Make It Right. Not a bad track by any means, in fact one of the better written songs in this comp. It's just the type that deserves better production in order to shine. It's also a bit stretched, it could've ended just fine at 5:50.

iamntbatman : Gloaming - The Nightmare of Braddock Heights
Hah, I like the lumbering intro, almost like an ogre barging through the door going fee fye fo fum. Did the snallygaster do that? Probably not. Point is, this is some good heavy shit, owing especially to the awesome bass. Man who do the vocals remind me of... A snarling Dave Mustaine? Some slightly loose guitar playing apparent with the chugging parts. Anyways, I like the overall raw feel of the song, like sitting in an old smog filled tavern listening to an old timer blubbering stories of the monster. Makes me want to grab a Hobgoblin right now, but fuck there aren't any around here, so I guess I'll just listen to the song again! One of the best in here; you take the number two spot, good sir. Go stand next to but slightly lower in level than Grofweg over there^.

Nightwisher1990 : Ecliptic Dawn - The Black Waterfall
I don't mean to be rude here, but this sounds like all the other tracks I've heard from you. Oriental flavoured gothic doom with synths or choirs, and that's about it... But on the upside, your growls are getting better and better. Practice makes perfect, right? Definitely try to explore more doom metal instead of dwelling on one flavour of gothic doom. Too little bass and punch for the guitars, drums too clicky, and some tuning issues that have been already discussed beforehand.

ShaolinLambKiller : Yzordderrex - Crawling
The first 2 chords sound like A BEHEMOTH FUCKING ME IN THE FACE. Gargantuan bass and guitar tones, definitely the best produced song here. The growls, low and high, feel like some strongly corrosive retching. That foul atmosphere, that epic imagery... Really makes me want to read the book. However, moving on now, the thing I've come to dislike about the song is the writing. Epic intro aside, nothing makes me go like "Oh shit, what's going to happen next?" The riffs are slow and brooding, but repeated over and over and somewhat aimless, and the transitions aren't much better. In the same vein of your spring submission for those who've missed it.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Well that's it for my reviews for this challenge! I've already included a readme for my song in the compilation.

The challenge yielded some really good songs such as the ones by Grofweg and iamntbatman, and some promising talents in Apteronotus and diamondfamicom, albeit with a significant lack of traditional doom metal. Nevertheless, a big thank you goes for all those who have participated and those contributing their own reviews. Keep 'em coming!

We can discuss suggestions for the next challenge, likely happening in February, in the challenges thread. (Neofolk is currently being considered)

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SoulsInferno
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2010 5:35 pm
Posts: 211
Location: Florida
PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:47 pm 
 

Would doing cover songs be a good challenge?
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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 12:06 am 
 

Thanks for the feedback! Turned out pretty well for a song fully written and recorded in less than an hour
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kingnuuuur
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:35 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 1:04 am 
 

SoulsInferno wrote:
Would doing cover songs be a good challenge?

I've thought about it, and yes it can, as long as the covers aren't meant to be carbon copies of the originals, but rather our own (re)interpretations.

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ShaolinLambKiller
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:05 am 
 

If we did covers... all I would to is right an original inspired by it cause I hate doing covers.
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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
Posts: 828
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:31 pm 
 

Well these are real late and I am probably rehashing what others have said, but more feedback can never hurt. Like others, I went for honesty and don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Awblaster : Amaritude - Alignment of the Stars
I really like the timbre of your voice, but felt you were holding back. It sounded like when you recorded it you were afraid of either being too loud or of harming your voice. The clean vocals could use some processing, such as reverb, delay, or something to make them fall with the rest of the song. As it stands they kind of laid on top of everything else. I liked how you took had such a clean lead guitar, but think the rhythm needs a fuller sound for it to work. Sounds like there are gaps almost in the music, meaning that if I were to look at an EQ readout. The bass had a nice proggy tone (flanger effect I assume?) and I liked how it did more than just play the root notes. Overall, I think it needed to sound fuller and the guitar tone fell a bit flat.

CorpseFister : The Flesh Remembers
Really great stuff. The synth and guitars blended really well together though I would have liked to hear the guitars a bit louder than they are. The tone on the synth is simply beautifully done, a wonderful fit for doom. I think you need a pop filter for your microphone, some of plosive sounds in the vocals sounded like they clipped. This wasn’t something overly noticeable at first because how low most of the vocal work was. Using two vocal styles was a smart choice, the higher stuff jumping in occasionally worked to accent parts of the song as signposts for changes in momentum.

CrustAsFuckExistence : Solitude & Despair
I thought the hiss in the tone helped make the overall feel stay overbearing because it added to the wall of sound that you created. However, I agree with others in the sense that those frequencies would be better off a bit quieter. The vocal work here was really enjoyable, being a bit back in the mix I found they drew me into the song which kept me from ever feeling like it got too repetitive. Overall it created more of a static feeling rather than a changing one, and I think that works for the themes. Also, I thought I might bleed to death out of my ears the first time I heard the effect you had at the end. It was a cool sound but as others have noted way too loud.

deathprog23 : hvy.wtr
I agree with the Katatonia comparisons others have mentioned, that kind of sad rainy day music. I also agree with what people have said about smoothing out that transition at about 5 minutes. The harsh vocals really killed it for me. That Ludicra, Twilight, etc. black metal kind of shout is something that I hate. No worries though, plenty of people like that style. I would recommend that when you first bring those vocals in, not to introduce them with nearly 20 seconds of staccato on every single 8th note. I think it would benefit if you varied that up rhythmically, which is a compositional technique all ready well used in the song.

diamondfamicom : Super Famicom - I Will Only Be Yours (Devil Eyes)
I raised an eyebrow of interest and turned my head to the speakers as the intro rang through. Some may think that a fade in is a cheap way to build energy but what really made this song stand out for me was how the riffs coherently interspersed higher notes into the melodies. This reminds me of a doomier Todtgelichter in the earlier parts of the song, but the post-metal comparisons are also fair. The clean vocals sounded like they were a little too high for your natural range. As for the shouts, I think those worked out well because of how demented and aggressive they came out.

Grofweg : Willoos - Vervallen
The main riff on this is really killer. The progression was really not what I was expecting because I got a DSBM vibe as an initial impression. As the song went on though, I started feeling more of the doom influences. This was especially with the nice guitar harmonies that help seamlessly tie the melodies together. The vocals didn’t really do anything for me, I thought they sounded too much like moaning and wailing in a way that was out of place with the rest of the music. Maybe they needed more high-end? I am not sure. Lastly, the drums were great - they fit perfectly, were mixed well, and had great execution. I would buy a full length of this stuff.

Haightred : Astral Entities
As I listen to this I imagine that the high vocals were recorded at a volume lower than what I hear. In other words, the sound is like you were nearly whispering into a microphone. This was also true for a lesser extent for the lows, like at 7:17 when it suddenly got higher. SKL’s comparison to Cradle of Filth seems right on, and unfortunately I found it quite grating. Everything else on the song worked for me, and I especially liked the riffs in the second half. The leads really jumped above everything for a nice flying kind of feeling, their high-end frequency separating them from the rest of the mix.

iamntbatman : Gloaming - The Nightmare of Braddock Heights
Your vocals remind me a bit of some of those French black metal bands that have taken an unlikely interest in the American South. You know, that sound where some of the vocals are a bit nasally for that tortured filthy kind of sound. I wish they were a little bit louder. This is really fucking heavy! You did a great job at making a consistent song without risking any boring repetition, it works because the riffs keep the energy moving forward again and again.

kingnuuuur : Stoner Jam
Fucking fantastic. I agree with nahcruof, I definitely got a wonderful Electric Wizard vibe here. Hell, you get yourself some equally high quality vocals and I would recommend this over Electric Wizard on a routine basis. Its just so crushingly heavy and then bam a funky bass line and a very stoner metal sounding solo. This is the kind of heavy music you just start headbanging to. You did a great job structuring the song so that it kept my interest for the whole time. I loved how varied the drums were.

Nightwisher1990 : Ecliptic Dawn - The Black Waterfall
I think fleshing out the transitions you have between the ideas here would make for a great song. Getting control over the problems you encountered would go a long way in helping that because the tuning in particular highlights the more uncomfortable riff changes. All of the pieces are there and I would definitely like to hear the re-recording. Like iamntbatman mentioned, there is a really cool Melechesh kind of vibe at points. Your style has a sort of aggression that for me made the more typical doom vocals feel a bit out of place, but at around 5:00 in where you added the heavy echo they were pretty damn cool. The cleans were pretty interesting as well so I look forward to your re-recording.

ShaolinLambKiller : Yzordderrex - Crawling
Filthy and dissonant. The lows here were my favorite in the challenge. Metal for me is really guitar focused music and I felt like the low guttural vocals marinated their way into the guitar lines. They often acted more as a harmony with the guitar than as a separate melody, which allowed the higher vocals to stand out more. At times it felt a little repetitive but with such killer guitar tone it never really bothered me. There is something really pleasurable about listening to something that is so clearly divorced from mainstream music. Really long notes ringing out, relentless negativity, and those inhuman higher vocals are part of why this song has everything you need in the more extreme end of metal. Great work.

****
For my song I should explain that the weird sound effect is not my voice but rather a harmonica. It does not sound readily recognizable because I exclusively use a a technique called note bending on the song so none of the notes come out normally. You move your tongue around and magic stuff happens (which some people refer to as physics) and the note changed pitch, and this is the only way to get sharps and flats on a lot of harmonicas.
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CorpseFister
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:07 pm
Posts: 1856
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 10:19 pm 
 

Apteronotus wrote:
CorpseFister : The Flesh Remembers
Really great stuff. The synth and guitars blended really well together though I would have liked to hear the guitars a bit louder than they are. The tone on the synth is simply beautifully done, a wonderful fit for doom. I think you need a pop filter for your microphone, some of plosive sounds in the vocals sounded like they clipped. This wasn’t something overly noticeable at first because how low most of the vocal work was. Using two vocal styles was a smart choice, the higher stuff jumping in occasionally worked to accent parts of the song as signposts for changes in momentum.


Yup, definitely needed a pop filter- I forgot to grab one from my bands studio space and it was down to the last day so I just went with it. Glad people were digging the synth tone, I spent quite a while messing around with my Roland and was really happy with the patch I ended up with.

kingnuuuur wrote:
CorpseFister : The Flesh Remembers
The growling vocals are fine as opposed to the occasionally repeated "HUAAAA" scream which I found rather funny. :P I really dug your synth in The Ninth Ring and I really like it here, always dreamy sounding. My favourite part is the one at 3:10, ethereal and creepy, almost like it's evoking a flashback. I can barely hear the guitar, but it doesn't sound like it's doing much anyway so I can't comment on your performance. Pretty minimalist writing, but that's understandable given the circumstances leading to your submission. Because of that, it also doesn't top The Ninth Ring (which I think is a little hard to top anyway).


Yeah when I finished The Ninth Ring I was really pleased, this time I was more just happy I got something completed and managed to get both bass and guitar on the track. I've been slowly (very slowly heh) putting together a bunch of songs in the style of The Ninth Ring, I'll post some up when they are done.

Anyway thanks for all the reviews guys and good work to everyone who participated! I'm not sure that I'll participate in the next one if it's neofolk, but I look forward to it nonetheless.

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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 11637
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 11:16 pm 
 

Loved the review Apteronotus, you really understood how i was approaching and hell picked up on some things I didn't even thing about!
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Grofweg
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:51 pm
Posts: 10
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 5:29 pm 
 

Thanks for the reviews everybody!!!! I'm really thankful for everybody's feedback and I want to answer everybody's questions or whatsoever in my review post, I will also give a bit of explanation to go with my song but due to holidays and family business the last three weeks, I didn't find any time to do this, so sorry for this fuckin long delay but I am assuring you that I will do this soon!
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SoulsInferno
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2010 5:35 pm
Posts: 211
Location: Florida
PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 12:26 am 
 

This will be dead before I even get a chance to post mine, I'm only halfway done with vocals.
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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 11637
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 12:36 am 
 

goddamn that's terrible.
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