Ok, here finally my reviews. First I would like to thank Kingnuuuuur for making up the rules and taking the responsibility to organize this challenge! Secondly, please don't take anything personal, I'm just being honest and critical and since I am a drummer myself, I find myself turning down any VST drums beforehand, sorry for that. I will also add some notes to our own song.


Arkhane: 2 Girls 1 Cup - Lyrics by LordOminous [Alcohol, Sex & Bitches].

Lyrics ( 3/5 ) The lyrics are quite funny. That's it, not super hilarious or something.
Song genre choice ( 4/5 ) Well, it fits the theme. I don't really like heavy metal, but the grunts add something death-ish to it.
Composition ( 3/5 ) The song structure was kind of standard, but hey it matched the genre.
Performance ( 4/5 ) The solo's at the beginning are pretty cool. The somewhat trashy part with the pounding snaredrum the guitarplay wasn't really in rythm, but it's just that part. Also, you shouldn't have done the clean vocal part. Grunts were ok, I guess.
Production ( 4/5 ) Pretty nice guitar production, I think one of the clearest. However, I really don't like the sound of VST drums, so one point off there.

Overall ( 18/25 )
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bjornobomb: Dormant Choirs - Lyrics by Duisterling & Devirginizer [War & Genocide].

Well, I was really pissed when hearing this song actually. When I heard all the other songs in this challenge, you could hear everybody on this forum had put quite some time and effort in their songs.
This is the only song where it was obvious the guy just [ctrl+c]/[ctrl+v] - ed some drums and improvised some shit. A complete waste of our lyrics also, a total bummer....

Overall ( 5/25 )
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CorpseFister: The Ninth Ring - Lyrics by DecayingMyYouth & MoonPenatrator [Literature & Paintings].

Lyrics ( 4/5 ) I haven't read the book, but these lyrics look pretty mature an poetic. Nicely done.
Song genre choice ( 4/5 ) Black metal, nice. One of the few.
Composition ( 3/5 ) Pretty average, the synth melody sounded fun but the song didn't have any climax or anything, so the song quickly turns to be very repetative and not really interesting to me.
Performance ( 3/5 ) It was ok. I liked the vocals.
Production ( 4/5 ) Well, the guitars had so much reverb on them, you couldn't even hear the guitar being picked, and that's something I usually like in BM. I do wonder if you used real drums, if so, how did you record them?

Overall ( 18/25 )
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DecayingMyYouth & MoonPenatrator: Total Fucking Destruction - Lyrics by Bonged [Terrorism].

Lyrics ( 3/5 ) I liked them. Totally matched the theme and the structure was unusual.
Song genre choice ( 2/5 ) This reminds me of Death. Anyhow, old shit. Not my cup of tea.
Composition ( 2/5 ) There wasn't much of a structure, I liked the beginning but it didn't became a surprisingly good song.
Performance ( 3/5 ) Yeah, it was ok. Didn't really like the vocals, though.
Production ( 3/5 ) The guitars were audible, the bass guitar also, but you should have used a pop-screen for your microphone. And, like said before, I really don't like the sound of VST drums, so one point off there.

Overall ( 13/25 )
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Duisterling & Devirginizer: Irrelevant - Lyrics by guitartheist [The Cosmos].

Well, the only thing I wanted to say to the guys who critized us, I thank you. I agreed with most of the comments about the drums and overall production, and we're probably are going to take a second look at the mixing/mastering part. We also decided to write
another song in this style and release it on a demo under a new band name, since the song doesn't really fit any of the projects we have so far.
I haven't told who played what, tough. Duisterling played the bass, I played the drums, guitars and did the vocals. The cello and piano were programmed by another friend of us. We wrote the song half in GP5 and half in Apple Logic.

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Gelseth_Andrano: Years Have Passed - Lyrics by overkill666 [Post-Apocalypse].

Lyrics ( 2/5 ) The lyrics fit the theme, but din't impress me much.
Song genre choice ( 3/5 ) Not really a fan of trash metal.
Composition ( 3/5 ) Very short song. That wouldn't be a problem, but the riffs weren't very original.
Performance ( 3/5 ) This was ok. The solo's were cool.
Production ( 3/5 ) Liked the guitar sound and the use of real drums. Vocals were too loud in the mix, if they would have put more to the background I guess it's ok.

Overall ( 14/25 )
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GeoCO3: I Am Despair - Lyrics by Arkhane [Loss & Bereavement].

Lyrics ( 3/5 ) The lyrics were not great, also they weren't bad at all. Still, I missed the point that's being made.
Song genre choice ( 3/5 ) What is this, metalcore/melodic death? Not something I would have done, but you seem to know what you're doing.
Composition ( 4/5 ) I liked the part before the second intermezzo. After that, it became pretty predictable.
Performance ( 3/5 ) Everthing was in time, but I didn't like the clean vocals. They sounded really edited and did you use autotune or anything?
Production ( 4/5 ) The production was perfect. Still not a fan of the VST drums, they also could have been mixed better.

Overall ( 17/25 )
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kingnuuuur (collabing with GeoCO3, vocals): Three-Headed Snake - Lyrics by Sadr_mordvig & Menschenfeindlic [Nihilism].

Lyrics ( 3/5 ): A bit too long in my opinion. Still, the lyrics looked a bit too euforic to be really Nihilistic. One can relativise a story like this, I wouldn't say that this states enough to announce nihilism.
Song genre choice (3/5 ): Wouldn't have gone the Heavy Metal way. I think it didn't really fit the theme, but it did fit the lyrics.
Composition ( 4/5 ): Not a complete standard song structure. Still, I think the riffs weren't really original.
Performance ( 3/5 ): Guitars were pretty neat. Didn't like the vocals, they sounded really edited, at like two points they were a bit off-note and I really hate James Hetfield.
Production ( 4/5 ): The production was cool. Totally liked the bass guitar sound. Still not a fan of the VST drums.

Overall ( 17/25 )
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LordOminous: Cleansed in Blood - Lyrics by odinallfather [Rebellion & Revolution].

Lyrics ( 3/5 ) Short lyrics, really revolutionary. Could have been longer in my opinion.
Song genre choice ( 3/5 ) I have no idea what kind of genre this song is supposed to be, but I liked it.
Composition ( 4/5 ) Very nice. I like the song because it was a mix of a few genres. You could definetely hear the pirate influences
Performance ( 5/5 ) The guitars didn't sound bad at all for someone who has never played guitar before this challenge started. Also, the 8-bit solo had me laughing for a while, and the guitar solo was also pretty hilarious. Totally unexpected and very original!
Production ( 4/5 ) The synths added something extra which I liked, vocals were cool but still not a fan of electronic drums.


Overall ( 19/25 )
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Sadr_mordvig & Menschenfeindlic: De Cryptikon - Lyrics by Det_Morkettall [Cryptic].

Lyrics ( 2/5 ) I din't get the lyrics at all. Sounded like worshipping something.
Song genre choice ( 3/5 ) I think this was supposed to be something like Bathory, and this fitted the lyrics, but not the theme.
Composition ( 2/5 ) Some parts were cool, but the song didn't really impress me.
Performance ( 1/5 ) Everything instrumental was pretty decent, but the clean vocals...WHY? If you can't sing, then dont.
Production ( 3/5 ) The instruments weren't bad, still the use of VST drums annoys me. Also, the vocals were too loud compared to the guitars.

Overall ( 12/25 )
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ShaolinLambKiller: Drowning Sleep - Lyrics by SoulsInferno [Romance & Tragedies].

Lyrics ( 3/5 ) The atmosphere of the lyrics was pretty cool. But the grammar... weird.
Song genre choice ( 4/5 ) Doom metal, nice.
Composition ( 3/5 ) Started out great, but became pretty uninteresting after a while, because nothing really happens.
Performance ( 5/5 ) Drums were tight, guitars were played flawless. I do think you could rather should have used low-pitched vocals as well as screams.
Production ( 4/5 ) Totally dig the guitar sound. The drums were very clear and well recorded, still you could have mixed them better, because they sound very raw.

Overall ( 19/25 )

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SoulsInferno (collabing with DecayingMyYouth): The End of the Bronze Age - Lyrics by CorpseFister [METAL].

Lyrics ( 3/5 ) Pretty straight forward. Very metal indeed.
Song genre choice ( 4/5 ) Viking metal, hurray! Fits the UGH theme.
Composition ( 3/5 ) I like the flow of riffs that follows from one another. Sometimes a bit too much alternating.
Performance ( 3/5 ) Guitars were played flawlessly, really like vocals too. But, where's the bass?
Production ( 4/5 ) I really like the sound of the guitars and vocals. Still, one point off for the use of an extreme drum machine instead of a lumberjack kinda drummer.

Overall ( 17/25 )


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Rankings:

Cleansed in Blood (19/25)
Drowning Sleep (19/25)
2 Girls 1 cup (18/25)
The Ninth Ring (18/25)
I Am Despair (17/25)
Three-Headed Snake (17/25)
The end of the Bronze Age (17/25)
Years Have Passed (14/25)
Total Fucking Destruction (13/25)
De Cryptikon (12/25)
Dormant Choirs (5/25)

Sort of, is probably the best answer. I don't have proper drum mics, so what I did was record myself playing a real hat and cymbal. Then I recorded myself playing a yamaha electronic kit for the other elements (plus an additional cymbal sample), adding varying amounts of reverb to try and simulate the sound of a small room.

So, it is actually me drumming, but most of the pieces of the kit are electronic. I am reasonably happy with how they turned out, and since yourself as a drummer thought they might be an accoustic kit, I consider that mission accomplished.


As for the comments people have made about the guitar in my song, I tend to agree. I plan to re-do it once I get a bit better playing guitar, give it a bit more of an edge. Really, I’d only played a guitar half a dozen times or so before I recorded this, so I relied on the haziness to compensate for the fact I wasn’t totally comfortable even playing something so simple. I basically just turned up both the knobs on the guitar, plugged it into a ton of distortion and reverb and hoped for the best, haha.

I'm confused. Did you use real drums? They sounded programmed. Also, aside from the intro, I didn't hear Duisterling's bass anywhere else.

If anything needs to be improved in your song, it must be the production. Forget everything else and just focus on it because as you can see it's taking away a lot from the song.

Really? I thought they sounded quite real, just mixed a bit odd.

Well there you have it. It's so lo-fi that I couldn't tell the difference. The first time I heard the blast beat I was 100% sure they were programmed.

Yeah... As a bass player, you have to get used to go through all the effort of recording for nothing :') I can hear it, though. I suspect you'd only notice it as soon as it would be removed. Either way, you're absolutely right in regards to the production. It could have been better if we had had more time (I'm thereby not criticizing the terms of the challenge; it solely refers to our own busy agendas).

Well, the drums were recorded with 8 microphones, but we didn't spend much time on mixing them. And I will take the note on the blasting part as a compliment, at least they were tight...

alright thats cool. i'll need to bring my laptop to the workplace (which is against the rules). then i'll see if i can upload it. also i changed the distortion attack on the bass, it has more of an aggressive tone rather than a gritty overdriven tone.

actually, it had the same effect on me as it does to all of you. i didn't feel too comfortable with the verse singing at first, but it kinda grew on me when i found a new way to grasp the song so i kept it. i was actually just gonna growl all the way through if the cleans didn't work. but anyway, thanks to all you guys who like my song. but dont forget who wrote the lyrics too

no more reviews????

thanks everyone for the reviews and thank you Kingnuuur for hosting this.
I don't think I will be able to write the reviews, I have reports to write and lots of exams to study for (bad timing) + I've been "internetless" for 15 day (and it's still down).
anyway it was great challenge, and the songs were really great.


I don't get this,how dose a song sound muslim? maybe you mean oriental?

i mean it kinda reminds me of a muslim chant. or rather middle eastern based

I will write them! But I gotta make my deadline first, I've got one this monday and I'm pretty failing right now. But I'll definitely write them for everyone.

It's not like this thread is going to be locked or anything soon, at least I won't mind if people send in reviews another month from now.

But I would be interested in starting a new challenge soon.

Started reviewing today. I'm not entirely sure whether I'm going to grade them though.

First few reviews. I might do some more tonight.

I hate grading. There is always a gap between how one ultimately experiences a track emotionally and how one rationally thinks about the formal aspects. This can lead to a grade that seems right on the one hand yet feels too low or too high on the other.

2 Girls 1 Cup [Arkhane, lyrics by LordOminous]

Lyrics (4/5): It’s not really the kind of lyric I would normally like, but considering the theme that you got: nice job. Humorous and nothing too random.
Song genre choice (5/5): Wasn’t sure about this one. It’s not what I would have expected, and during the first minute I really was in doubt. As the song proceeds, however, it starts to work more and more for the theme. The vocals and the way they’re sung definitely contribute to this. Some thought these lyrics screamed “speed metal”; to me they scream either “death/grind” or “Devourment-worship”. It’s neat that you didn’t opt for that; extra cred for the surprise effect.
Composition (4.5/5): No complaints. It all matches, it doesn’t get boring, no awkward transitions. The only exception to that last point is at 0.57 minutes. That transition seems a little forced. About the riffing: there really are some fucking awesome riffs in this track. I especially enjoyed the more black/death oriented ones a lot.
Performance (3.5/5): Again, no real complaints. I noticed the rhythm issue that Devirginizer was getting at as well, but nothing too dramatic. I have to admit I’m not very fond of the main vocal style and the higher version of that style you used in the bridge, but admittedly: the vocals in that bridge do match perfectly with the scenery from the lyrics. Low grunts are sweet.
Production (4/5): Nice. It’s fitting. Those high leads toward the end of the song really sound ethereal; on the other hand there’s the heavy pounding of the rhythm guitars. Sweet. The drums are rather soft but I suppose that’s better since they’re programmed. It would’ve been a shame if that would’ve dominated the sound.
Overall (21/25): Good track: I really enjoyed listening to it and I’ll probably listen to it more often in the future.

Dormant Choirs [bjornobomb, lyrics by Duisterling & Devirginizer]

I doubt the guy still reads here and I don’t think I can say anything about this that hasn’t been said already, so I’ll just leave it.

The Ninth Ring [Corpsefister, lyrics by DecayingMyYouth & MoonPenatrator]

Lyrics (4/5): Nice job guys! You wrote about a subject that is rather standard within the metal scene (which goes for both hell and Dante), but you managed to keep things pretty fresh. There’s the danger of becoming too cheesy with obvious wording and terminology. This did occur somewhat in the first sections, but it did not dominate. I enjoyed reading them: they’re compelling and invoke the scenery and atmosphere properly.
Song genre choice (3/5): Not sure. I think I would’ve taken a more aggressive black metal approach. After all, hell is the epitome evil and suffering and this might be a little too contemplative for such an environment. I can see what your train of thought was, though, and there’s something to say for your choice as well.
Composition (2.5/5): Not too psyched about this part. There’s atmosphere in the riffs and the synth work is really nice. I unexpectedly enjoyed those strangely compelling synth leads a lot. I usually hate synths. But to get back to the point: there’s a lack of direction and build-up in the song. The soft guitars and very repetitive (too repetitive) drums contribute to that feeling as well. (I was thinking, if the guitars had been a monstrous wall of sound, this could’ve been great, fuzzy ambient black metal, which would’ve redeemed the composition complaint.)
Performance (3/5): The synth leads are great. Like I said, I usually hate synths in my metal, but I enjoyed this thoroughly and the patches you chose helped a lot. It’s hard to say something about the guitars, since they’re so soft in the mix. Decent vocal work, but not out of the ordinary. What I liked best about them is that they sound tortured (good link to the lyrics), but in a subtle way. It’s not overdone or near ridiculous (as they often say about Nattramn and Silencer, for example, though I enjoy that as well). Extra points for the spoken voice. It’s a great extra touch to the song and they sound good.
Production (4/5): The synths sound perfect. No complaints about the vocals either. Guitars are, as I already mentioned, too soft for my liking.
Overall (16.5/25): I’ll probably throw this in my playlist every now and then as well. I have to say: I enjoy the track more than the 16.5 indicates (see first paragraph of my post).

my fuckin internets been down for a little while, but i have the new 2 girls 1 cup ready to be posted. boomier drums, boomier bass, a little vocal reduction. i'll post it in a minute after its done uploading

<a href='http://www.mediafire.com/?c9suy9pv58i41f0'>http://www.mediafire.com/?c9suy9pv58i41f0</a>

try that one. if not, then this one

http://www.mediafire.com/?c9suy9pv58i41f0

its linked to the same file

Dude, I totally like the vocal additions to the song...! Nice job!

Like, totally!

I'm gonna check it out as well, as I already liked the first version a lot.

thats like, SOOO totally rad!

Eff yeah! The new mix is sounding good Arkhane!

Oh and if anyone cares I will be re-touching my song as well. Might be a while though, cause its dependent on my first getting better at actually playing guitar, and then secondly figuring out how to get a better/bigger tone.

I can help out with that if you'd like..I've got a real amp and everything, as well as OK guitar skills.

Actually that would be pretty sweet! The guitar is super basic, but I only just picked up the instrument and I'm using a hand-me-down guitar with a bass effects pedal, ha. I've got to duck our for a bit, but I'll give you a shout a bit later.

Who's down for beginning the next challenge soon? Who's willing to host this time? I'll host it if no one is interested. I say we get started as soon as possible, even before everyone's done reviewing this round. Let's get it going!

you can host.

All right, I'll host if there aren't any objections. After reading the suggestions about the next challenge, I think there are 3 viable options for the next challenge:

(a) single set of lyrics
(b) randomy assigned metal genre
(c) exactly the same as last time

I don't think a non-metal songwriting challenge is a great idea because, to be blunt, this is a metal forum for metal music. We're all here because we love metal. There's a reason why I'm not a member of indierock-archives.com.

I think the idea of combining genres is real interesting, but maybe it's a tad bit too intense. In general I feel that the less constraints put onto the songwriters at the beginning of the challenge, the better.

Give me your feedback on which of those 3 you think are best, or if none of those 3 appeal to you, suggest another idea. Let's see if we can't reach a consensus by Saturday, May 28.

Definitely all METAL, ALL THE TIME! haha

Single set of lyrics would be cool, where everyone who enters has to post lyrics, then we vote on the lyrics we want to use for every single song?

So it's sort of like a lyric competition mixed with a songwriting challenge? Just an idea anyway..

I don't like the idea of competition... I like the current system, although it's a shame some of you guys didn't get songs put to your lyrics.
I'm not sure how to make that part better, to make the content unexpected but still include ALL the work put into it. The way I would do it
is for everyone who enters whose lyrics weren't used last time, they get the choice to get a new theme to write new lyrics to, or to stick with the unused ones.

Other than that, I thought this system was great and produced some really good results. I think it should continue.

Hmm, yeah competition here always ends badly. So you're actually right on that front, thinking back.

I was looking forward to seeing a song with me and DemonOfDarkness' lyrics but uh..the last one kind of got spoiled for me, unfortunately..but I'd like to give it a proper try again..

I'd love to hear that, keep us posted!

I'm not an advocate of a competition either. The rest of the ideas sound fine, although I'm not sure whether I'd join if the genres were to be randomly assigned. I simply don't enjoy all metal genres and although I wouldn't mind writing something different for a change, I don't think I'm able to write in each genre.

I've just heard Arkhane and SoulsInferno's revised versions on headphones (I'll do monitors tomorrow).

Arkhane: Some definite improvements, particularly in the low end which is now a bit tighter. I would bring up the china cymbal just a little bit more and make the snare drum more present in the 3-5 kHz.

SoulsInferno: Very minor improvements from what I've heard, mostly in the mid-high freqs. The low end is still lacking a lot. Does the song sound boomy on your speakers? If so, your speakers might be the problem.

EDIT: As for the next challenge, I think GeoCO3 will do just fine if he hosts it. I don't have any preferences for the format. All suggestions so far have been reasonable, though I'd prefer if it felt less like a competition.
There aren't that many members here to organize a proper sizable competition.
Most of the members aren't exactly on equal footing in terms of recording and mixing experience.
Even if it's a competition and there's a winner, there's really not much glory to be found here, at least for now. Maybe when the challenges start getting more attention, more participants and consistently improving standards, then they might eventually become more significant events. IMHO, we're not there yet.

No, I just don't have anything to work with on the low end. I'll probably update it again whenever I record some bass.

Also I'd like to repeat myself, this challenge proved to produce really good results for most of us.

i have no complaints. whatever you decide I'll decide if I want to do it or not.

Yeah I am keen for this time around, maybe I can actually write a new song for once

I agree that this songwriting challenge should not be in the form of a competition. The best quote, hands down, about competition in music is what Nick Cave said in a letter to MTV when he found out he was nominated for best male artist one year:

"I feel that it's necessary for me to request that my nomination for best male artist be withdrawn and furthermore my awards or nominations for such awards that may arise in later years be presented to those who feel more comfortable with the competitive nature of these award ceremonies. I myself, do not. I have always been of the opinion that my music is unique and individual and exists beyond the realms inhabited by those who would reduce things to mere measuring. I am in competition with no-one. My relationship with my muse is a delicate one at the best of times and I feel that it is my duty to protect her from influences that may offend her fragile nature."

Fucking awesome.

In your face, MTV. Nice.

awesome letter.

And some more reviews...

Here's a copy/paste of my earlier remark on the grading: "I hate grading. There is always a gap between how one ultimately experiences a track emotionally and how one rationally thinks about the formal aspects. This can lead to a grade that seems right on the one hand yet feels too low or too high on the other."

Total Fucking Destruction [DecayingMyYouth & MoonPenatrator, lyrics by Bonged]

Lyrics (2/5): These didn’t do much for me. I guess they’re not particularly bad or anything, they just didn’t grab me. This could be just because of my different taste in and approach to lyrics, but I somewhat doubt that there was a lot of effort in them. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
Song genre choice (4/5): Perfect choice for the theme and the style of the lyrics, although it’s a style I personally don’t like.
Composition (2.5/5): Somewhat chaotic and directionless. I’m afraid I’m not sure what to say about the riffs: I don’t listen to thrash metal (yeah, that’s blasphemy, oh well), so I can’t compare this to anything. Because I don’t like thrash, I don’t really enjoyed the riffing either, but it didn’t strike me as crap. I’d say it’s decent, just not my thing.
Performance (3/5): Feels a bit sloppy here and there, but I didn’t hear major fuckups or anything, so. Also, pretty cool that you decided to go for a solo despite the fact you never play solos. It stopped rather suddenly, but you did manage to pull it off. I’m not very fond of the vocals.
Production (2.5/5): I appreciate the very audible bass. The guitar sound is nice, nothing too special. Too sad it’s drowned out a bit by the vocals.
Overall (14/25): Decent song, but I found it hard to review because I’ve got nothing with the genre at all.

Irrelevant [Duisterling & Devirginizer; lyrics by guitartheist]

I’ll just copy my comment on the lyrics from the .txt here, I’ll obviously won’t review the rest…

Lyrics (5/5): Very enjoyable lyrics. My appreciation grew after reading it over and over again. Right from the start, a certain atmosphere is evoked. I also liked the fact that it has got an air of mystery--even though the meaning and context aren't explicitly stated, the point that is being made still becomes clear. That is, the reader can decipher a plausible point that could be made in the text. It leaves room for interpretation without being too vague. My compliments to the author for these otherworldly lyrics that beg to be contemplated.

Years Have Passed [Gelseth_Andrano, lyrics by overkill666]

Lyrics (2.5/5): Very straightforward and to the point. In that sense, they somewhat remind me of those written by Bonged. Not too fond of that, but they’re not bad. Very coherent and logical, no what-the-fuck-inducing lines or filler sentences. It doesn’t do much for me in terms of imagination and atmosphere, though.
Song genre choice (4/5): As I said earlier about Total Fucking Destruction: I don’t like thrash, but I have to admit it matches the lyrics and the style of the lyrics, so. No mismatch.
Composition (3/5): Short! But that’s not bad. It’s energetic and in your face, which shouldn’t take 5 minutes. Decent riffing, although it’s somewhat repetitive (sweet solos though!), as is the vocal deliverance. This might be due to the way the lyrics have been writing. I guess it works, though, because of the nature and duration of the song.
Performance (4/5): No complaints here. Vocals did sound a bit forced sometimes, though, but oh well. That doesn’t bother me particularly.
Production (4/5): Pretty sweet, all instruments were audible and sound great. Heavy, crunchy guitars, powerful drums. Loud vocals though, which is a shame, especially when you’re soloing at the same time.
Overall (17.5/25): Got nothing to add, really.

Oh well your wrong, took me a while to write those. Lets see you write lyrics about terrorism, a topic which I have never pondered or thought about in my entire life.

ShaolinLambKiller's was bad, but not because I don't like that guy, not into much drone-y doom stuff.

Really liked Three-Headed Snake and I Am Despair. Great job whoever did that.

calm down dude. he didn't mean any offense by it, just stating his opinion on the matter.