My attempt at some Cynic-ish lyrics.

Cosmological Barriers

Space - An endless void
Expanding infinitely
Until time is no more

The barriers of the universe
Light-years away from discovery
Humanity knows not of them

(Chorus:)
Universal images
Projecting unto mankind
The boundaries of the stars
The cosmological barriers

The void is prohibited
Earthly humanoids are forbidden
For the time being

(Chorus)

(Solo)

(Chorus)

Hilarious lyrics. If you ever record a song with them, I'd love to hear.

I don't write lyrics often, so feel free to rip me a new one on these.

Faithless words tear at my skin, expose my flesh, darken the sin
My crying soul, eaten alive, tortures my mind, existence is dim
I am alive only to find, nothing attainable, without a spine
Existence is flawed, there is no god, I am the one who is left in the end

My muses surround me and mock all
Satirical figures, everything raped
The illusion of labor to build an empire
Has granted me nothing but pain and delusion

Weak, scrambling halfheartedly I crawl
My body, Rotten from the womb to the grave
I deserve not to escape myself
Only to face misery, to lie with despair

I smite every bright star that ascends the horizon
A countenance of outrage, eyes ablaze with madness
Knowing no hope may rightfully be exhaled from my corpse
Vehemence drives the nails of my coffin, the bleak spirit buries me

The last star has risen, I am blinded by its radiance
As I knelt, immobile, it rose from the earth, and froze in the empty sky
Malice faded from my face, eyes opened wide, burning in its glow
A revelation in tears
I kneel still, awaiting its grace
In fear of it's cold silence in the Soulless Sky.

Sounds pretty cynical. I like them though. Care to elaborate on them a bit?

With this lyrics i tried to make something more simple from what i usually write. The song it self it's planned to be a bit noisy (inspired by Mr Bungle) and the concept of this song i took it from a Bill Hicks routine,BTW, the lyrics arent finished yet.

FELLATIO SATANI

Suck
Suck the hardest you can
and get used to the taste
of diabolic smegma
since you're a Billboard whore

Isolated
you must be considered
among your peers
cause you sold your
ass for some waves in the air

Chorus:

Suck, swallow, smile
Look pretty for your broad-casted downfall
get rich, get high and drop dead
Cause you'll be the next candy martyr
(just like Kurt)

Nice Naraku666

Here's mine.

I Hate Facebook

I Hate
Fucking Facebook
Cause they're
Fucking Faggots

I'm gonna kill them all
Cause they're fucking gay

I Hate Facebook
I want to kill them all
I Hate Facebook
I want to kill them all

I Hate
Fucking Facebood
Cause they're
Fucking Faggots

I'm gonna kill them all
Cause they're fucking gay

Three songs from my band Hells Chapel. All are black metal, with a couple doom inspired riffs.

Abominations

"Lurking in the depths of our darkest creation,
Is the creature man and beast,
The living visage, called decadence and defilation,
I am the Abomination.

I was cast out in the dawn of life,
No place in this world of hypocrisy for me,
The Honest progeny of Cain and Sin,
Even Hel has closed herself to me.

No death for one who persists,
In unlife to neverend,

Humanity, treads above me,
Thousands upon thousands,
Each turn away at my sight,
What can they say to just another Fallen Man,
They say I die unworthy, of even the time I was given.

Condemned
No Jury
Self Appointed,
Judge, Executioner, God Himself
On the throne of a whim.

What you turn away from in disgust,
Turns to rage in this expanse
I am that, I am the Abomination,
Life stolen in unbirth

Revenge, Revenge, REVENGE!
Blood will spill this night,
For each Abomination one and all
Till each has his fill this savage delight.

The world trembles now in fear,
Can you feel it,
Your repentance is drawing near."

-----

Untitled 1

"For days I left the light behind,
You would never know I worshiped the sun,
Search for the stars I can never find,
Leave misery to its own.

I call and call the name,
An echo answers in return,
Some days, I am dead I fear,
Others I feel my life,
Will always wander here.

Now for the darkness I am walking,
On a Path you never found,
Destiny is calling,
For a life only I may live.

Days and days I walk on,
The night I am following,
Feel her whisper behind me,
Leave courage to her own.

On and I'm falling,
Through a day that has no night,
On and on I'm searching,
For a sky that has no sun."
----
Nightmare

"Shadows swelling, calling me,
I am siezed by terror, hunted,
There is no escape.

Bleeding moonlight drips,
Drenching my midnight terror.
Night after black night,
Shadows conspiring,
Twisting spires devour the light.

Frozen blood...stops dead my heart,
Purest terror...Stills my burning arms.

I am helpless; drifting,
Flailing in the expanses of eternity.

What is this hell?
I am trapped, Prisoner to fear so long,
Now even the terror of my own mind
Is stolen from me."
----

The doors have been opened
Never to close again
When the iron grip goes limp
from the struggles of the imprisoned
The gatemkeeper falls as the Plague is released,
The plague upon humanity, the hopeful now long gone

The struggles of all, in fire and passion are stifled
As the city falls
Searching, always searching, for pain as sustenance
The leach of life goes forth, and takes what was never his
to be come an abominition, never seen by the mind

The ediface is compromised, as its hands crush all
tearing appart their defences, brick by brick, man by man
Another glint of eruption courses through its veins
as it sees it prey, the one it seeks has been waiting

The struggles of all, in fire and passion are stifled
As the city falls
Searching, always searching, for pain as sustenance
The leach of life goes forth, and takes what was never his
to be come an abominition, never seen by the mind

The fires surround the battlefield as he Plague exhales
the breath of ashes and death, expunging the surface of all
the one who waits, bewildered by the darkness at hand
calls upon his strength. Never saw, that his doom, was already written

The struggles of all, in fire and passion are stifled
As the city falls
Searching, always searching, for pain as sustenance
The leach of life goes forth, and takes what was never his
to be come an abominition, never seen by the mind

His eyes snap shut as the force of evil envelops his soul,
and rips it forth, the only one who could have vanquished the Plague
and empty shell, broken and burnt, is all that's left of humanity's dreams
as the rest, watch the beast, turns to finish his deeds of vengence.

Meh, an attempt at black metal.

A couple from me today. First, the thrash metal song.

A God They Wish They Knew

I call upon my brothers in arms
Vanquish the beast before us
This beast is enormous
Yet unseeable to mortal eyes

It resides in the clouds above
Watching over our every move
It rewards sparingly
Yet punishes frequently

(Chorus):

Vanquish this being
A God they wish they knew
Invisible to humanity
Yet it bleeds upon my blade
Vanquish this fucking disgrace
He shall exist no longer
No more stories
No more religion

(Refrain x2)
No more God! (x3)
No more fucking God!

Infectious disease
Known as Christianity
Spread amongst the masses
Centuries ago

A plague of mindless fools
Believing in a tome of contradictions
Lying to their faces
They eat it all up in a flash

(Chorus)

In him goes my rapier
For he is not my God!

(solo)

(Chorus)

(Refrain x2)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next could be thrash, black, or death.

The Pope Burns in His Own Creation

Hell is a place of the damned desires
The inmates run the asylum
The newest denizen of this burning place
The demons will most surely fry him

A human beast clothed in white holy linen
Benedict is his name
He once ruled on Earth with a mighty fist
Now just a pawn in the Devil's game

(chorus:)
The Pope's in Hell! (x2)
God does not care one bit
The Pope's in Hell! (x2)
Jesus does not give a shit
The Pope's in Hell! (x2)
Heaven is not in his hand
The Pope's in Hell! (x2)
Burning in this firey land!

His clothing torn off by Beelzebub
Sodomized by a beast
The former king has fallen to bits
For Satan he's now just a feast

His entrails ripped out by Lucifer himself
Chomping away with great fun
A life spent by fucking the children above
The Devil has now surely won!

(solo)

(chorus)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now we have some black metal.

To Eat One's Young as a Preserver of Power

Titans
Ruling this feral Earth
Their leader
Born out of castration

Destiny
Overthrown by blood
As he had his father
Which now comes unto him

Six slid from Rhea's womb
Five devoured by Cronus
One hidden on Ida
Away from the paternal consumer

Many moons later he readies to return
A potent mixture in his possession
Wine and mustard mixed as one
Regurgitating up his children

Demeter, Hera, Hades, Hestia, Poseidon
All churned within his gut
Now prepare for bloody war
Over the righteous rule of Earth

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even more black metal.

An Entity Vomited From the Blackened Sky


An incredulosity brought forth upon the night sky
Blackened raven vomits up the beast within its gut
Warring knights and savages are suddened by the sight of it
A devil in the flesh sent by Satan to destroy God's land

Excreting its unseemly innards out among the warriors
They run for cover from this terror but it's too late
Creatures sprouting from the warts devour these humans
Never again will they taste the sweet breath they had

Leading Luciferian masses to the castle on the hilltop
A revolution led by this beast shall overthrow the master
Terror builds within the walls as the King awaits him
His whores completing orgasm from orgies aplenty

It needs not to batter down the drawbridge of the castle
Merely it touches the wood and it splinters to pieces
No one inside the fortress escapes its jaws of painful death
Chewing up their body parts as if they were the gizzards of a bird

This foolish king sits in his throne not willing to acknowledge
That his end is nearly here and he shall die most painfully
Sending his princely son to try and duel this titan
He too is eaten up and slowly he dies agonizingly

The king now knows his fate is here and he shall meet his Christ soon
He prays to God but Jesus is not listening to his words
Slowly he is picked and his innards are devoured
A brutish ruler now lays in the ground being chewed on by maggots

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did I mention black metal yet?

Shrouds of Lycanthropy Creating a True Beast

Full moon rising on the riverbed
Concealing a most unpleasant sight
Human transforming into wolf
Beast is bred within the man

Therian signs pointing to a single scar
A scar made many years prior to the present day
Bitten on the hand by wild creature in the woods
It is the epicenter for this current being

Wreaking havoc on his village with no true purpose
His smell and taste for blood overpower his senses
Gnawing on both woman and children in his jaws
There is no power grand enough to stop this terror

A normal beast he is not for silver does not kill him
Crosses and revolvers and bullets are no match for him
Immortal was the beast that bit him
He is now immortal too

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

SOme Meshuggah-ish lyrics.

Exploit

The emotional tide swaying by and by
Dragging all who buy into the lies out into the sea
A sea of hatred and deceit
Gripping man in his decent into the blackening abyss
Buying into a lie propogated by media clerics
Believing what the box tells them is true
And so begins the fall of man

Black holes of faith seep into the everyday existence
Nothing can escape the powerful grasp
Replacing thoughts with God and gun
A morbid reality of willfully ignorant savages
Casting out a line for the lower ones to bite on
No more individual being of human
Only a parade of ghosts bending to the will of a theocratic master

Depletion of the Earth's unreplenishable resources
Used in the struggle to survive on a daily basis
Promoted as a use for war by the extreme political right
Their leaders overrunning the world with brainwashing tactics
Signaling the end of a civilized society
Reality; prosperity; normality
They have washed into the sea

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gore time.

Desiring to Inhale the Aroma of a Knife Laden Abortion

Multiple knives engage in intercourse with a human torso
Piercing multiple organs that spray their liquid about
Inserting hands into stomach to depart the gut from the inside
A freshly carved corpse shall lay dormant on the bloody Earth

Screaming for mercy from her ruthless killer
Her shrieks are ignored as penetration begins
God nor pig can save her pointless life
An unseemly crime carried out with pleasure

As the blades are inserted into fresh cunt
The cry of the dying breaks through the silent night
After knife is removed from her puss filled cunt
Human hand removes a nearly termed human fetus

Desiring to inhale the aroma
His face pushes forth into her rotting cunt
A living abortion writhes crying on the ground
The mother watches helplessly as blade impales the bastard child

Watching as her unborn baby is murdered
Crying does begin while her organs spill from her abdomen
Helpless she is as the fetus cries endlessly
She dies with her rotting cunt eaten out alive

------------------------------------------------------------------

And finally, gothic oower metal. It's for an album I'm writing revolving around Beauty and the Beast. Yet to come up with a title though.

A shining castle ruled by a spoiled boy
Overseeing the lands of France
A Prince not of kindness, but of wicked blindness
But fate deals him the Devil's Dance

To the drawbridge one winter an eldered hag approacheth
Requesting shelter from cold
The prince in his splendor proceeds to reject her
For she is too haggard and old

"Let faces trick not", says the old cloak'ed lady
"For beauty is found in the soul"
And with one slam of the door he sends he rejects her once more
And she sees that his heart's made of coal

Away goes the wrinkles, the boils, the warts
The ugliness melting away
In this state of shock the boy does not mock
Instead to this woman he prays

"I meant not my words" shouts the Prince feebly
"I am merely a naive son!"
"I see not of love in your heart" says the woman
"Inside of your heart, I see none"

"For insulting me with your words of cruel
You shalt no longer see your own face
You shalt take on the features of wicked old creatures
A Beast you shall be, not of this race"

With that she left, enchanting the castle
Cursing his land forevermore
His servants converted to shapes now perverted
The Prince eternally roars

A condition of curse was placed on his head
One that will shadow his fears
10 years from that day he must find a love
Or a Beast he will be for all his years

Hi folks, this is my first post in this forum.
Actually I'm a guitar player, but as nobody in my band wants to write any lyrics I had to take the job. We play sort of a mix of Heavy and Thrash metal with female vocals.
Here are some of the lyrics I managed to write so far. I'm not a native speaker, so if there are some mistakes concerning grammar feel free to correct me.

Bad Thoughts

Well I know it does not sound kind
But no one’s got the key
Through everyone’s eyes some clichés to burn
Don’t come close to me
Not quite sane - in more than a single way
Just a sickman within
Nothing to see – that’s freedom to me
A mind focused on sin

Chorus:
I’m not fooling myself
I won’t deny it is wrong
Tainted water fills this sea
There are things you’ll never know
And I won’t take the blame
Thanks god the thoughts are free

The world around is a source for fun
Sick as it might be
No charge no judge, no harm done
This is just for me
There is no limit, there is no remorse
It’s gone so high, so low
It takes nothing, just join in
Be part of the horror show



Snowblind

Enclose your mind shut off all thoughts
Walk away from here but leave yourself behind
You don’t realize you don’t see with your eyes
This world is conceived in your mind alone

I am
The serpent and the savior
I am
Corruption of myself
I exist
In this endless void inside me
I am
The Kaiser and the fool

I know
What’s waiting on the outside
I know
The cruelty beyond
I see
The feckless and the insane
I arrive
At the point from whence I came

Chorus:
I close my eyes I fear my thoughts
This impregnable wall of ice freezes me inside
Gradually realize you can’t trust your mind
If the sight is blinded by the ice

You are
Just icy figures in the daylight
You are
So alien to me
You exist
In this make-believe reality
You are
Not blind you can see



The narcissist (my favorite so far):

Can’t stand my company no matter where I am
Whether with friends or strangers to me it’s all the same
It always will be so, there’s nothing I can do
But don’t worry, rest assured it ain’t because of you

Angry and pissed
Constantly
Don’t scorn the world
Focus on me

I hate myself I want to die (2x)

Don’t need no therapy I guess for that it is too late
For the time being I am content with my hate
Every day I find new evidence that I suck
And to be honest knowing this I am feeling very snug

Sad revelation
But it is true
Only I am important
I won’t waste my hate on you

I hate myself I want to die (2x)

‘Cause I hate flowers I hate bees
I hate trouts and anchovies
I hate cupcakes I hate bread
I don’t care if you think I’m mad
I hate women – blond or brunette
Either way they deserve my hate
I hate heaven I hate hell
But most of all I HATE MYSELF

I hate myself – No matter why
I hate myself – I think I’ll simply die

I'm not used to writing lyrics, usually I think they're good, then look at them the next day and go "what the fuck???" I don't know if these in particular are any good, but I guess it's easier to ask people you don't know or care about...

FINAL/IMMORTAL

...So tired...
...So alive...

The shards of a sacred heart
Drift apart
To uncharted shores

Where they take root
Like a garden they bloom
Like a disease they spread

On this lonely road
To nowhere
This dark, winding road
No one walks
Except...

Don't believe in me
I'm just a shadow
Cast by the fire

Don't believe in me...
I'm a liar

The shadows are light
And easy to bear
But the words are heavy

On this lonely road
To nowhere
This dark, winding road
No one walks
Except...

I walk forever
I walk alone

I'm so alive
I'M SUCH A LIAR

Close your eyes
Allow yourself to believe
You can will the world into place
Or just wish the world away

Even though we must know
Life must mean something more
Than to simply endure

When the road ends
We'll just keep walking
There's no where else to go
At least, as far as we know

We fear the end,
But pray for a new beginning.


Please send feedback, good or bad, I need it.

I think they are really good, possibly too poetic for song. Definetly emotional and hard thought out, but I just see songs like this as poems.

I like these, good job on your songs.

Hmm, maybe you're right. Thanks for the feedback!

Work in progress - came up with most of it with my guitarist 15 beers in along with a couple of riffs for it.

Did you hear the rock n' roll
Did you feel my kiss
Did you breathe blue fire from
Your cherry red lips?
Baby show you something
You never seen before
Wakin' up naked
On the kitchen floor

I'm a - three hour gentleman
I'll call you later - if I can
I'm a - three hour gentleman
And that's all I am

Do you know where we go
After all of this
Do I tick the boxes
In your little black list?
Woman understand I can't
Make it through the haul
But I'll treat you right
On the way to the door

@Theuglysoldier
I like those lyrics, very rock'n'roll.



Thanks. In 'the narcissist' I tried to conceal the real meaning, also by using the corny line 'I hate myself, I want to die' , which is sung over a quite poppy guitar riff whereas the rest of the song is rather thrash.

Deadly Exchange

Strapped onto my surgical table.
The needle goes in.
It is almost time to start.
Time for me to begin.

You feel yourself weaken.
Your life is in doubt.
The anestetic runs in.
The lights go out.

(Sample of medical equipment and heart rate monitors)

Your Wide Awake!
You Can Still Feel!
You Can Still Still See!

Unable To Move.
Unable To Scream!!

Your forced to watch.
You cant close your eyes
As the surgeon raises his knife.

Watch as he makes the incision.
Cutting through your veins.
Opening your ribcage.
You try to show your pain

Now the blade cuts your Arteries
cutting them up one by one
you can feel yourself bleed

Watch as they remove your heart
The Pain. The Stress.
The feeling of death.

i wrote this song 5 minutes ago and now i cant sleep

The Hunger For Flesh
(Working Title)



I will defile your martyr.
The thought of pleasure excites me.
Open the door, pull out your tray.
Remove the sheet.

Playing with your lifeless carcass.
Theres nothing that can stop me.
I care not for your cause of death.
Or what your family thinks of it.

How can you stop me.
You cannot speak.
Spread your legs the blood does drip.
Entering i pierce the lips.

Your cadavre is what i need.
As my grinding makes you bleed.
I enter my final state.
As your blood runs down the grate.

I'll cut up and eat your carcass.
Swallowing juices tearing at flesh.
Slicing out your eyes.
Crushing them in my hands.

Devouring your entrails.
Drinking your blood.
Sawing your torso, off from your head.

Peeling back skin.
Removing your skull.
Grinding your bones.

Picking at your organs.
And the rotting remains.

Pouring petrol on your body.
The matches i will light.
Throw the fire on the fuel source.
Watch the carcass ignite.

TheSlave, I'm liking those lyrics! They seem to guide how the music will go a little - something like the first part (before the medical samples) being a bit more ambient/slow/melodic/whatever, with afterwards becoming a more death metal attack?

I think you need to tweak a few of the lines a little, though. Maybe make it a tiny bit literal.

Here are a few bits and pieces I have floating around:

-------------------------
She was a half-cooked Sally
She was a motor-brigade
I could see through her bullshit
Thought I had it made
But I didn't tell her it all
I ignored the disguise
And when it all came out
I shattered her glass eyes

She was half-way to heaven
Slick as a freight train
She had a devil-denim eye
Drivin' me insane
And now this cookie cutter's
Still got everyone fooled
With a stitched up mouth
I watch the masses drool
------------------------

-----------------------
Tranquil catharsis
My cathedral, my grave
Destined to rot here
My own mind's slave
The wooden majesty
Contrasts mine
But I'll find peace here
And run out of time

Dread laden
And riddled with booze
Left with roads
Not mine to choose
So easy from this far up
Do I drink from Hades cup?

Rusted Gaia
We are both the same
Would be pariah
With a switch-blade mane
Constant commander
Constant revoke
Kiss the lips of memory
And watch me choke
----------------------

-------------------
Little woman,
Little angel on my shoulder
Little darling
Is a big time roller
Little lady
She ain't got no shame
Daddy says
The music's to blame

But ya...
Gotta give it
What ya gotta get
You gotta...
Dive deep
If ya wanna
Get wet

Well gimmie pain
And scratch my eardrums
Pound 'em hard
Till they burst
I need the metal
In my eardrums
Ya gotta feed
My mercury thirst
-----------------

CUTTING

(Sample of butcher telling you what cuts come from where. BLA BLA BLA)


Cut out your tongue so you wont speak.
Slice out your eyes so you cant see.
Cut your tendons so you wont move.
Now its time for you to bleed.

I will put you on the table.
Use a saw to remove your limbs.
Put them in the fucking grinder.
Hair and nails and bone and skin.

Sharpened my knife i slice at your breast.
Piece by piece deforming chest.
Use a mallet to break your bones.
Open your cavity remove your organs.

Nail your intestines onto the wheel.
Removing entrails as it spins.
Hear you choking on your blood.
Mind mind excited as you screech.

I slice your throat the blood does leak.
Weighing up all your meat.
I strangle you with you organs.
Bile running down my hands.

Place the meat in a package.
Ready for my morning feast.

This is just a sample of some lyrics I wrote last night...


From stillborn
To reborn
From dead sleep I awoke

From archetype
To prototype
From ashes I rose and choked

Rating
Degrading
Frustrating
I'm not your slave
Stifling
Muffling
Muzzling
I'm not your bitch

I wasn't thinking that at first so thanks for the tip

Also currently in the middle of writing a new one called inferno

Check out these sweet lyrics from my new band Space Vikings

*Updated further down*

so, i've found a band with my cousin, we will gonna be called The Mace of Zenithar, we gonna have pretty silly and parodic lyrics about the video game Oblivion, i wrote a song about Transexual vampires but it's in french, i'll maybe do an english version. We gonna be a heavy/trad doom band, not unlike The Gates of Slumber, here the first draft of our title track! I'll maybe work on serious lyrics soon
________________________________________________________
Departure from the priory of the nine is eminent, to defeat the Fallen warrior you must find all the relics.

In the morning light of the Great Forest, you'll find the shrine of Kynareth
Pass the test of worthiness!
As a great roar invades your thoughts, your sword and shield are ready
The almighty Guardian is there
The gigantic bear attacks, such a majestic beast.
My shield is shaking, can't kill it
To endure is the key

The guardian stops, you survived the groves of trial!!
the door of the grotto have opened
receive the boots of the crusader, besides the two spriggans!

Onward to Leyawin!!!!

For the glory of Zenithar, for the glory of the Order of the Nine!!
Find the Relics!!!

Enter the Chapel Undercroft and pray to Zenithar at the tomb of Saint Kaladas.
By magic, you will be transported to a dark dimension, seemingly within the undercroft
A glorious light bridge is waiting for you to cross
your foot feel nothing but mystic air as you touch the beacon of light, there's no way to go across
The Boots equiped, the crossing seems possible
On the altar, the Mace is waiting for you
Trembling hands on the heavy weapon, you're back in the chapel

Aurorans attacks!
Use the power of the Mace of Zenithar!!
Slay them, Slay them

For the glory of Zenithar, for the glory of the Order of the Nine!!
Find the Relics!!!

Zenithar!

Creme de Carnage:

Barrels of vintage scum
Creme de Carnage overrun
We've come to pilfer light from foreign halls

Pharaoh's passage burns
Through golden dawns an age that learns
It's wielding firepower at its claws

Close your eyes
Submit yourself to the hell I provide
Maiden of Lies
Each flame kisses your soul goodbye

Fire baptised maw
Talons hang from griselled paws
Antithesis, downfall for the meek

Erections from the smote
Billowing choking smoke
And churning juggernauts as the livestock bleat

Close your eyes
Submit yourself to the hell I provide
Maiden of Lies
Each flame kisses your soul goodbye

Open your eyes
Become aware of the hell that's your life
Cherry drop eyes
Leering, biding your soul goodbye

I like you, Christopher. I like you a lot. Lines like "Each flame kisses your soul goodbye" is a great piece of imagery.

Thanks, I really appreciate that!

^^^ agreed ^^^

Edited again.

Thrasher, your song trench hell is a great slice of atmosphere, capturing all the horrors of every moment of trench warfare. It had a nod towards a political statement, but at the end of the day, your song is a gripping thriller about fighting for your life in the grip of powers beyond your control, where every second may be your last. Good job!

Is it bad that I know EVERYTHING you're referencing?! These are epic. I'll go to canadia for your first show

Love it, poetic and very imagey

I absolutely love them. They are well-written and best of all they are vivid, but it is not in a manner than is unrealistic/overly generic... strikingly redolent of Sodom, I'll add. They actually seem (just upon reading) like they might be very easy to pick up on in only a while, which is good. I don't like the transient 'come-and-go' style of lyrics that many thrash (I assume it's thrash) bands have espoused to their nameplate and this is totally the opposite. Good work.

Ballerina:

Mother beaten, sprawled aground
Father's fists kissed by the pound
Skirts asunder, treasures fresh
Father whets his lusting flesh

Cradle-bound, my sanity drowns
Glimpsing ballerinas that dance around
Howling daemons can't get to me
The music stays their hands and a dancer is all I see

Madness pervades while distracted from reality

Overriding conscience
True evil's hidden face
Deceiving with a vengeance
And sealing my fate

Pistol in my hand, blood on the wall
I should not be here at all
Screaming, crying, people dead
All greet me as I surface from the dreams in my head

Weaving its tune to a darker spell
This song is driving me to hell
Yielding to its plans for me
The lights go out and a dancer is all I see

Madness pervades while distracted from reality

Overriding conscience
True evil's hidden face
Deceiving with a vengeance
And sealing my fate

The siren's song is sung
Soul stolen to death
My madness has begun
Epitome of callousness

Here are some lyrics for a new song my band is jamming out with. This being the latest version and can't wait to jam out to it this Saturday.

My band Obzerter are a experi/prog metal band based in London, UK.



Appearance

Shackled upon the floor the decadent way, from beyond the door, a detonation of storms, daggers and knives rain down absolute dismay, bleeding run wet with the stain of crimson rust, inside only you can devour the lust, caught between which is right and that which is not, you must decide that you leave or you rot
you must decide that you leave or you rot!!!

Mortal remains
Remnants forgot

Humanity is side swiped by a wrecking ball in swing, leaving all that mattered in a buried twisted wreck, once the dust settles it becomes all clear, that the appearance of death was barely nothing short of real

Your actions
Consequence
Your decision
Live with it

Is home where the heart is
Or so that I am told
It's been blown away
A long time ago
Buried deeper
Buried beyond
The daggers and knives
That form it's bond

Your actions
Consequence
Your decision
Live with it

Looking toward the sky
Filtered bland grey
Nothing to look up to
It was answered today
An eternal question
The immortal being
Proven yet again
Mortality reigns

Is home where the heart is
Or so that I am told
It's been blown away
A long time ago
Buried deeper
Buried beyond
The daggers and knives
That form it's bond

Live with it
Deal with it
Die with it

Live with it
Deal with it
Die with it

Here they all are, a pack of liars, cheats and thieves, building houses of cash, blood and sweat from the weak. feeding lie after lie, you're in arrears for your soul, you can only be saved for the amount of worth that you hold.

well here is the trick, the slight of hand, you want to believe in something, well believe in your friends, your family and to you who is near, forget whats above for they are not who they appear,

From ulterior motives to masked ambition, unmask them them all and undo their mass appeal, for it hides a monster, nay so far from the serpent, burn them all just start the ignition.

Cheers. Was on a real Sodom kick when I wrote them so I guess that came across.



Cheers man. Not sure where the political thing came from but re-reading it I guess I can see it.

May I get an opinion on these lyrics?

---

Hark, Child, Leave Your Loved Ones Alone

For everything you fear
A sickened smile you must adhere
Cry, don’t cry
Weep, don’t weep.
Leave your loved ones alone
In pale silence they forever sleep.

Child, come here, sit by me
Hear the moans of Society
Stare, don’t stare
Gaze, don’t gaze
Leave your loved ones alone
You can’t appeal to the deceased.

Hark, child
They say I’m mad
They took away all that I had.
Worms they are, in their societal mutiny
Watch the reversal, they crumble into insanity
Yet these medicines they force feed me
Still.

Come closer to the bedside
And hand me those pills which I
Need, do not need
Desire, do not desire
Leave your loved ones alone
Now you’ll stay with me

Learn to love me

Hark, child
They say I’m mad
They took away all that I had.
Worms they are, in their societal mutiny
Watch the reversal, they crumble into insanity
Yet these medicines they force feed me
Still.

They say I’m mad
I say they’re mad
Believe, do not believe
Accept, do not accept
Hand me my medicine
And leave your loved ones alone
I ripped them all to slumber.

funeralbirth, regarding your lyrics I'm not quite sure if they're my thing.
For one thing, I have little idea what you're actually trying to say with them besides a stock standard "I hate society, society is supposed to be about helping people but it kills them".
And for another, the motif of "Do that, do not do that" is overused in my opinion, and makes the text predictable, lessening its impact.

I certainly appreciate your honest feedback, however you misinterpreted the lyrics. This is not an anti-society piece of writing at all, in fact it doesn't really convey a message. It's not meant to be read on such a level. It's a story more than anything else. Yes, the persona does have a certain level of hatred towards society, that is correct, but the story goes beyond that. It is about a man who is mentally ill and is speaking to a child about how the world is mad, when in reality he is the insane one. He wants the child to love him, he was jealous of her family and thus killed them, which is made clear (Or perhaps not?) by the last line.

The lines with the format of "cry, don't cry," while perhaps repetitive, are there to show contrast, which in turn imply the confusion of the man's mental state. He is not sure of what he is muttering.