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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4988
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 11:23 pm 
 

Frog, that's like strange nocturnal musings filtered through J.R. Hayes sensibility. I dig all three a lot.
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lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
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xpsychoblissx
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2008 11:18 am
Posts: 294
Location: Phoenix, AZ
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 1:46 am 
 

I'm working on a black metal project with the intent to be raw, yet "intelligible", if that makes any sense. lol Anyways, here's the lyrics I came up with. It's based on some bat-shit crazy prophecy that Jehovah's Witness's came up with in the 1800's, that the world would become a better place in 1914 due to Jesus's reign in heaven. Instead, we got WWI. Imagine their surprise...

One-nine-one-four, the year of my return
Told by the fools as the coming of their Christ
Gloom fills the air, skin will feel my burn
Your idol is missing only Satan will suffice
Now I spread my doom, all across the land
Death finds it's way into each and every man

The tools of destruction--implanted in their minds
Hatred towards humanity makes war machines that grind
Bones crush, cities fall, burning in the night
Bodies are gathered and piled into the ground
The prophecy is false only I shall reappear
No God to have control over chaos on this earth
Angels cry, Jehovah dies, evil see's it's worth

The black
Black Path
The path that I have chose

From the depths of the underworld my spirit will ascend
I am the anti-christ, I'll bring you to your end
The sun will flicker out, the air will dissipate
The holy men will stand saying that it's not too late
Holding crosses to the sky, they freeze and quickly die
No God to have control over chaos on this earth
Angels cry, Jehovah dies, evil see's it's worth

I am the bringer of the end--Sickness I will send
Rituals in secrecy fulfill satanic prophecies
Blood poors down, from a throne of papal bones
The faithful die together, their sins have been atoned

The prophecy is false only I shall reappear
No God to have control over chaos on this earth
Angels cry, Jehovah dies, evil see's it's worth
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dystopia4
Veteran

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3547
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 11:53 am 
 

Here's one I just recently finished:

New Dawn Fading
Fire on the horizon and tar in the rivers
A fading light and no glimmer of dawn
A funeral drone as the world comes down
Crashing at the feet of creation

To the aphotic depths
The opium savior
All the hope in the world, right now couldn't save you
A new dawn fades in the distance

Carrion! No hope for deliverance
Your lifesblood shrivels away
Carry on, with no light to guide us
Ash in our veins, and an atrophied messiah to raze

A blaze in our hearts but cloth over our eyes
New decay emerges from the shadow
Of the rotting husk of all that we've known
The ground shakes as a distant hum turns to a deafening howl

A deathlike silence as the world grows cold

The withered sun shrieks in the distance
Shrivels up and crawls into oblivion
Rain pours down, pulls you into the mire
The sky burns on, don't feed the fire

When the light grows cold
Will we beg for forgiveness
Or walk away
Into the shroud of the dusk
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MalignantTyrant
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:27 pm
Posts: 1177
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 12:18 pm 
 

I'm working on a song for Goat Martyr called 'Disfigurement' and it's coming together extremely slowly. I'd contact my vocalist for help since he'll be yelling the patterns anyways, but he's currently unavailable, which fucking sucks; and my guitarist and drummer are of little use in this area :P
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Hatman
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:53 pm
Posts: 58
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:10 pm 
 

Best Friends
I was paid a visit today
by my new best friends in the NSA.
Two big guys named Joe and Fred,
do what they say or get shot in the head.
They dropped by while I was surfing the net,
made sure I didn't rant against the government.

Then those motherfuckers ate my dinner,
played baseball with my cat,
burned down my garage for fun,
and made me take off my hat.

As they are leaving my dwelling they say,
"It's been fun Hatman, we wish we could stay.
You don't need to worry though, we'll be back;
we think that your children will make a good snack."
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DullMetalJacket wrote:
Makes me wanna learn some Burzum songs on guitar, record a video of me playing them, send him a message, be like, "wassup nigga? check out mah mo'fuckin remix".

PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
MA: the only site that is simultaneously elitist and hardline, yet also totally lenient and willy-nilly.

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FermentedOffal
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:23 am
Posts: 9
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 6:08 am 
 

We must allow our bodies to do what they must
Otherwise we succumb to disease
Flesh seizes
Under the influence of disharmonic energy

Contortion and blossoming
A tumorous flower ignites the sanctuary
All that has been begins to fade
The sensation of space long gone

The sanctuary is seeded
Pervaded by dark energy
Absence of light
Fade

The flame licks at consciousness
It's gaze, with fear, ever-tightening
To be faceless is to be half absolute

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FermentedOffal
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:23 am
Posts: 9
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 6:34 am 
 

Is there a song feedback thread or a sub where people do that? I didn't just join to sport off my shitty music but I would definitely like to get my ass handed to me by people who know what they're talking about.

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MalignantTyrant
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:27 pm
Posts: 1177
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:46 pm 
 

fuck these, they suck. Scrapped...
I'll most definitely redo these when the guitarist is done tweaking and fucking with the music
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Last edited by MalignantTyrant on Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:02 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Hebidoku
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 6:11 pm
Posts: 53
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:03 pm 
 

I've got some pretty meh stuff I wrote awhile ago.

Spoiler: show
I am the shape in the corner of your eye
I am the strings that pull your life
I am that shadow you will always see
I control you
I control the world

Come and bow to me
You'll do, my little darling
You'll dedicate your life to me
And you'll never know I was there

Turn around, hear my voice
Feel the chill go down your spin
Turn this way
And follow me

Feel my unquestionable presence
Hear my voice and follow my path
Feel my touch
Give your life to me

Follow my voice
Stray from the flock
Come and dance with me
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MalignantThrone wrote:
Yeah, because when I'm showing metal to my non-metal friends I don't start them out on Black Sabbath, it's straight to the fucking Goatpenis.

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MalignantTyrant
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:27 pm
Posts: 1177
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 12:01 am 
 

y'know that reminds me of some of the better lyrics that Legion (ex-Marduk vocalist) wrote. I like that quite a bit, it's cool stuff, Hebidoku.
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haohmaruofthewind
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 9:35 pm
Posts: 15
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 9:52 pm 
 

Welcome to hell by Anti Universe

In life you were a loser
always wrong with this your that

now your roadkill
and went splat

sooooooooooooooooo

welcome to hellllll

welcome to hellllll

now that your in the abyss
there is no heaven

death your toll
since you were seven

welcome to hellll
welcome to hellll

the maraliths don't like you
and Satan has your soul

you thought you'd go to heaven
and now you're a ghoul

welcome to helll
welcome to helllll

WELCOME
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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5542
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:52 pm 
 

Haohmaruofthewind's lyrics are awesome for all the wrong reasons.
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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5966
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 10:42 pm 
 

"We can Make a Meal from Their Eyes" - lyrics for an album about schizophrenia and bdsm entitled Leather is my True North.

Lights dimmed flicker leading to a descending staircase
each step hot breath turns to ghostly freeze
you will freeze to death tonight

150 dollars. 25 minutes.

Open wounds. Filled with regret and rape.
Your two heads, Janus within the mind.
Resembling the way your aunt looked betwix her legs.

150 dollars. 25 minutes.

We can make a meal from their eyes.
We will lick their skin and choke on their hair.
There is no them - only us.

Cured by the stench of sweat and leather.
Becoming a corpse beneath her heels.
Stiff but dead.
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BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient - new song!

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Against Such Things
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 8:16 pm
Posts: 450
Location: Southern Maryland
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 10:56 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Haohmaruofthewind's lyrics are awesome for all the wrong reasons.

Venom did it better, and that's saying something.
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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5966
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 4:01 pm 
 

"Even the Fascists Buried Their Dead" - another track from Leather is My True North

I - careless teasing muse
I - flawed marble statue

I, wanted to touch your lips for the last time
I lost control
I lost my head.
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"Don't you talk to me 'bout Jesus, cause every word is blasphemy!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient - new song!

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4988
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:07 pm 
 

Speaking of Leather is My True North, Frog failed to mention that I'm collaborating with him for lyrics and some vocals. He's kind of a dick that way.

Insects:
Humid, cracked ceiling gradually gives way
As insectoid limbs skitter and enrapture
Only one more hour until the id is all that remains
An ashen crater of hushed, liar's tone
They crawl and consume each other
And I feel sick

Time unravels for cockroach god
Your whisper hums and disappears among the blurred lines
They will come unless we do the special thing
They'll take me from you

Spiralling visual dissonance galvanises
Flesh gives way to flesh
And acid rain soaks cracked sidewalks
only in non-being can we be safe
From the wraiths that know my soul

Kiss the night
In a city of gravestones and distorted faces
Wretches who walk through fire
Are slowly consuming all matter.
_________________
lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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Hatman
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:53 pm
Posts: 58
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 7:13 pm 
 

Slightly less ridiculous than my last post:

The fires are still burning bright.
The city is in flames.
Darkness falls, the only light
provided by the wood's bane.
I walk the streets marveling,
it looked so strong but was so weak.
The fighting's over now,
but the outlook - is bleak.
The fires are still burning bright.
They burn and burn all through the night.
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DullMetalJacket wrote:
Makes me wanna learn some Burzum songs on guitar, record a video of me playing them, send him a message, be like, "wassup nigga? check out mah mo'fuckin remix".

PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
MA: the only site that is simultaneously elitist and hardline, yet also totally lenient and willy-nilly.

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5966
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 7:31 pm 
 

damn it necro is wuz gonna be a surprise.

Another one for L.I.M.T.N

"Heart of Palms"

Everything you've ever touched has spoiled.
The rotted fruit dangling between knees.
I smell you from here.
You are wearing a mask made of roses
Of ropes
Of frogs.
Spliced eyes - resembling arachnid horror.
There's no way I could forget you.
There's no way I could forget.
There's no fucking way I could forget.
No fucking way.
No fucking.
No. Fucking.
No.
No.
No.
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"Don't you talk to me 'bout Jesus, cause every word is blasphemy!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient - new song!

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Foulchrist
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:25 pm
Posts: 386
Location: Scotland
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:56 pm 
 

Just found some lyrics for a grind piece I wrote ages ago.

Nuclear drones, mechanical wrath
The skies transformed to red and black
Humans reduced to piles of ash
They won the war so fast

Machines crushing skulls into dust

Dreadful wraiths of war
Storming annihilation
Terminating life
Of the species which designed them

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MalignantTyrant
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:27 pm
Posts: 1177
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:51 pm 
 

First thing I thought of when I read those lyrics was
Image
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Foulchrist
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:25 pm
Posts: 386
Location: Scotland
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:34 am 
 

The post originally stated that there was an "obvious movie influence", but I removed it to see if anyone would mention it without my instigation. So, cheers!

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4988
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2013 2:29 pm 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
Here's one I just recently finished:

New Dawn Fading
Fire on the horizon and tar in the rivers
A fading light and no glimmer of dawn
A funeral drone as the world comes down
Crashing at the feet of creation

To the aphotic depths
The opium savior
All the hope in the world, right now couldn't save you
A new dawn fades in the distance

Carrion! No hope for deliverance
Your lifesblood shrivels away
Carry on, with no light to guide us
Ash in our veins, and an atrophied messiah to raze

A blaze in our hearts but cloth over our eyes
New decay emerges from the shadow
Of the rotting husk of all that we've known
The ground shakes as a distant hum turns to a deafening howl

A deathlike silence as the world grows cold

The withered sun shrieks in the distance
Shrivels up and crawls into oblivion
Rain pours down, pulls you into the mire
The sky burns on, don't feed the fire

When the light grows cold
Will we beg for forgiveness
Or walk away
Into the shroud of the dusk



Since no one actually seems to comment on the posted lyrics anymore, I'll start with this. These lyrics are competent, and probably something you would actually see on a metal album. But they're so cliche. Your writing needs to break free and develop it's own personality. ''Aphotic depths'' ''a blaze in our hearts'' ''deathlike silence'' AND you rhymed fire with mire. (Though that last one is just a pet peeve of mine :p) These lyrics seem like just an assemblage of metal tropes and sadguyism. Maybe you could try expanding your horizons? Writing about something you've never touched on before maybe?
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lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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dystopia4
Veteran

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3547
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:25 pm 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
sadguyism.

Come on Chandy, it's not like you've never written sadguy lyrics or for that matter made sadguy music before (and on that note release your goddamn acoustic EP already). But yeah, I get that the subject matter is a bit obvious.

More mediocre generica:

Opium Shroud
The stench of human failure rises high
As billowing crack-smoke snakes across the night sky
Vacant bodies strewn across basement floorboards
The all consuming hunger drives them back for more

Drudging through urban swamps of decay
The floodgates more weathered than yesterday
Opium shroud lingers
Draw 'em in, dry 'em out

The citadel of reason falls
The night she don't flinch at all
The pressure builds
But the scum won't wash away

A cacophony of death
A pained howl precedes your last breath
As the squalor reels in your end
The tweaking hordes come crashing in again

The citadel has burned to ash
So reap what you have fucking sown
Corrosion sweeps in a malignant haze
And the last needle finds its vein
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Azat7
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:31 am
Posts: 3
Location: Ukraine
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:07 pm 
 

This is far from my favourite kind of lyrics so I can't really comment completely objectively, but they seem competent enough. That stretching thing always happens to me when I write lyrics before a song. So now I generally finish the song first.
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MaloRiN
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 3:10 am
Posts: 12
Location: Russia
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:57 am 
 

Started writing again some time ago. This one is my favourite:


ARS CARNA

Stitching sinews
Sewing skin to create
Perfect being
Art of the ways untold

We are sculptors of flesh's grace
Faultless beauty we embrace
The perfection is our creed
Human essence we receed

We correct the flaws of mortal shells
Enamoured with how our art excels

Do not be afraid
Of our tools of trade
Sweep away your foul existence
And succumb to our brilliance

Evershifting nature of the beast inside of us
Dictates crushing slightest imperfections into dust

Architects of flesh, shapers of resplendence carnal
Splitting open chests, hacking through abdominals
Vessels intertwined, nervous system rearranged
Nature of the source is changed

Magnificient cuts, drawings of majestic pain
More and more we lust, nothing must be spent in vain
Welcome to the act, let your feeble flesh and bones
Become the material for us

Wasted bodyparts in piles,
Frozen pools of blackened bile,
Air around is so vile
That it makes you choke awhile

Come, our child, into the light,
Make us shiver with delight.
Set into the world, departs
Our testament of carnal arts

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Dustin Dyson 666
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 11:05 pm
Posts: 11
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:23 am 
 

Okay, here's the deal: I am not a musician. I would say that I'm a writer but it's not like I'm a pro or anything. Anyway, being the thrash junky that I am I came up with this idea of an animated comedy about a thrash metal band touring the post apocalyptic wasteland and playing with the aesthetics found in the thrash metal genre. Anyway, since it's about a band that means it has to have music, which means it has to have lyrics so I wrote a couple of lyrics for the "songs" so far and I figured I already wrote them so I might as well let others tear it apart and see what they think. I have other lyrics I wrote that exist outside of the context of this thrash concept and I guess I can show them later but here are the two lyrics I did write: Atomic Annihilation and Mania of Violence.

Atomic Annihilation
Thermonuclear warheads
Reduce cities to cinder
Radioactive shock-waves
Desiring humanity's extinction
Trapped for centuries in subterranean decay
Humanity survived

Atomic Annihilation
Atomic Annihilation
Atomic Annihilation

Clawing to the surface
Ravenous hordes of mutants
Reclaiming Earth
Transcending ravages of ages past
Evolution of

Atomic Annihilation
Atomic Annihilation
Atomic Annihilation

Vice and corruption
Eternal plague of humanity
Staring down Armageddon
No regret for their transgressions
Revelry of

Atomic Annihilation
Atomic Annihilation
Atomic Annihilation

Mania of Violence
Rolling into town
Nocturnal minions gather
To feast on the onslaught
That will ensue tonight
Nuclear riffs toxic beats
A frenzy will conquer all

Mania of violence
Thrash it to death
Defy the oppression
Destroy the subversion
And bang, your fucking head

Moshing and rampaging
Rabid orgy of metal
Antidote overdose
Of the ancient world
Tonight we will know freedom

Mania of violence
Thrash it to death
Defy the oppression
Destroy the subversion
And bang, your fucking head

BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD
BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD
BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD
BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD
BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD
BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD
BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD
BANG YOUR FUCKING HEAD

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Space_alligator
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:43 am
Posts: 49
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 10:26 am 
 

IM not the biggest wordsmith, but I like the sounds of words and have a weird OCD of having to rhyme a lot...


Equipped, poison ropes.
Arcane spire, hopes.

Yielding mire, blowing dust
fleeting fire, leaving crust.

Stake

life at stake

The cry, in death
Smoke, the last breath.

The gasp, spoke to grasp.

To Sow the curse
Ancient verse

In death i become
So to you all

One as one

Fire by fire

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PillarofModern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:31 pm
Posts: 47
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 12:31 pm 
 

Lol this thread has 666 replies...and im 667 :(

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Hatman
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:53 pm
Posts: 58
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 10:54 pm 
 

Dustin Dyson 666 wrote:
Atomic Annihilation and Mania of Violence.

I think that these are generic but pretty good. There are a few lines in Atomic Annihilation that I'd change to make more sense though, such as
Quote:
Radioactive shock-waves
Desiring humanity's extinction
because radioactive shock waves don't desire humanity's extinction.
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DullMetalJacket wrote:
Makes me wanna learn some Burzum songs on guitar, record a video of me playing them, send him a message, be like, "wassup nigga? check out mah mo'fuckin remix".

PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
MA: the only site that is simultaneously elitist and hardline, yet also totally lenient and willy-nilly.

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ClaymanOnFire
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2011 8:13 pm
Posts: 465
Location: Nice try, Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2013 1:37 am 
 

@dystopia4
dystopia4 wrote:
The tweaking hordes come crashing in again

First time I read that I thought it said "twerking hordes" :lol:
Anyways, I have to agree with Necroticism on the first one, but I quite liked the second. It has a compelling feeling of decadence, and the way you used drugs in your analogies was well done.

@MaloRiN
I like the idea and imagery, but I feel like it got tied down with the forced rhyming. Maybe try working on the flow instead.

@Space_alligator
That would sound awesome against something dark and droning. I like the wordplay, but I feel like the imagery could be a bit more focused.

I have some stuff that I've been meaning to share, but it needs polishing. In the meantime, here's a little thing I wrote while listening to Amesoeurs:

The city is a harlot
a wench
a perfumed corpse painted twice daily
so we mayn't see the ruts of old tears
she cries have never flowed
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Yakazas
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:28 am
Posts: 1
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 12:01 am 
 

Damn, I'm seeing some pretty tasteful lyrics here!
This is a song that will be on my Grind band Oradour's first demo.
The snake sheds its skin, she is all too familiar with the sensation.Though she is unprepared, never did she think that the mirror would pierce through her pale skin.Right then and there, the vase broke upon the floor, revealing that it had been empty all along.A mess of clay and wine now laid before me,the mirror I held glistened in the deepest shade of crimson.The seductive snake ceases to breathe, drained of its venom. The venom that had kept it breathing, that had broken down its prey.Broken is the vase in which she had carried on living in vain.

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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5542
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:34 pm 
 

Yakazas wrote:
Damn, I'm seeing some pretty tasteful lyrics here!
This is a song that will be on my Grind band Oradour's first demo.
The snake sheds its skin, she is all too familiar with the sensation.Though she is unprepared, never did she think that the mirror would pierce through her pale skin.Right then and there, the vase broke upon the floor, revealing that it had been empty all along.A mess of clay and wine now laid before me,the mirror I held glistened in the deepest shade of crimson.The seductive snake ceases to breathe, drained of its venom. The venom that had kept it breathing, that had broken down its prey.Broken is the vase in which she had carried on living in vain.

A Pig Destroyer fan, I reckon? :-D

Here is something I blurted out just now. There's not much thought put behind it, and I can certainly do better, but hey, that's what this thread is for!

Reassembled Into Unlife

Accursed, macabre proceedings
Body humors infused
The flesh pieces in their place
Time to cage the soul

A screaming anima
Tormented by its fate
Awaiting organic imprisonment
Wallowing in ethereal torment

The bleeding composite
Torso, head, and limbs
Squirms back to life
Infused now with ghostly will

Mockery of creation
Dulled senses, crippled perceptions
A meat automaton with an infant’s mind
Obedience its only purpose

“Kill and gather”, I command
Kill and gather for my dark works
To build brothers and sisters for you
May the harvest commence

A community built
Out of another one’s remains
An army of bodies reborn
Prepared for absolute assimilation
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Earthcubed wrote:
I wish I had a black hole and an infinite supply of B83 atomic bombs, each time letting the heat barely rub against all of you before sucking it back with a black hole so I could slowly nuke the previous page over and over again for all time.


Last edited by Xlxlx on Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 19207
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:49 pm 
 

Heh, not much thought put into it - those were perfectly good metal lyrics, Xl. Reminds me of something a brutal thrash/death band would spew out in the 80s, like old Sepultura, Kreator, etc. Or modern shit like Torture Squad.

Sort of a Queensryche-esque power ballad:

Alone
All alone
As the last lights fade

You came here with dreams of empire
You wanted the world
But the city has swallowed you up
Spit you out whole
You came with dreams of romance
But the world had other plans
Now you sit in the train station
Pondering dejection

It's not innocent
The world
You fall in the sand
Look up
At a greying sky

Is it time to go, yeah?
Time for movin' on?
The elements align in your favor
Nothing here for you now
Nothing here ever maybe
Just a husk of a place
All cloaked in grey
And I am ready to go
Ready to go, yeah

I don't want to be a sacrifice
No martyr here for the law or for man
I just want to live my life

I look at myself
A mirror in black
And I bathe in the last lights
Of the train station

I reside here now
In the shelter of the station
I console myself
My lullaby
The last lights of the trains
Constellations in my sky
The last lights of the train station
Sing me home, oh sing me home
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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5542
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:25 am 
 

Thanks Emp. It's just that "lots of verbs describing macabre shit" has sort of been my autopilot as a writer for months. It's getting a bit hard for me to leave that niche.

Introspection isn't exactly between my top favourite themes to explore, but those are some nice lyrics, man. A cool look at shattered expectations. Also quite surprised to see you in this thread. Are you a musician?
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Earthcubed wrote:
I wish I had a black hole and an infinite supply of B83 atomic bombs, each time letting the heat barely rub against all of you before sucking it back with a black hole so I could slowly nuke the previous page over and over again for all time.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 19207
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:33 am 
 

Naw, just like writing lyrics. The ones above I don't think are as good as they could be, but I always enjoy stuff like that.
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The Ardbeg Wizard
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:57 am
Posts: 228
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:37 am 
 

Leather Is My True North? I mean, really.
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SleepyCoffeeDrinker
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Oct 06, 2013 5:56 am
Posts: 10
PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 1:24 pm 
 

For a folk song:

I got myself a guitar and I got myself a coffee
I got myself a computer to download what I please
But what I want aint something I can buy me at the store
I want myself a girlfriend and I'm feeling mighty sore
I stair at the world through eyes of glass
The light pierces my retina as I down another glass
What I see is what I see, it don't make me happy.
I don't see me a girlfriend and I'm sad as I can be
Why oh why do life gotta be this way
I down another coffee and try to ignore the pain
I want me a girlfriend and I want her mighty bad
If I could have a girlfriend, I wouldn't feel so bad.
I keep my feelings bottled up, I keep em in my soul
If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't feel so cold
If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't feel so cold
If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't feel so cold

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2292
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:22 pm 
 

I normally don't post in here, but what the hell. These are some lyrics I was planning to lay down on a song I wrote months ago:

You longed for a face,
A flare to glow far beyond
The enemy that rebellion
Taught you to create

Antithetical responses to mores
How truly free are you?
A mask found through an identity shared by millions
What does this make you?

Only fools deny the scent of air so sweet
Or the taste of ripened bulbs in bloom
In defiance of their enjoyment by the elite
As they search for beliefs to assume
You wheeze for breath so jaggedly
And your pulse beats out of time with other men
All in pursuit of a self to call your own
Through the torture of trudging against the grain

You've found your "face"
But it's so poorly sewn on
The ill-fitting skin
Betrays your soulless eyes
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Wilytank wrote:
Aeosphorus wrote:
there are post-black metal bands such as ...Sunn O.

When did we start calling Sunn O))) black metal and how soon can we stop?

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Nochielo
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 8:20 am
Posts: 1681
Location: Puerto Rico
PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:27 am 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Reassembled Into Unlife

I see a lot of my own style in these, when I'm in my evil writing phase.
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"Beauty is the substance distilled
The rest of what you could not hold
You'd not take the splendor instilled
And I just couldn’t ask for more"

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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5542
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 10:46 pm 
 

@MutantClannfear; I'm very surprised to see no references to cannibalism, bodily fluids, rape, and the like :-P Though in all seriousness, those are solid. However, I must say that the last verse is by far the best one. Concise, sinister, and poetic. I dig it.
Nochielo wrote:
Xlxlx wrote:
Reassembled Into Unlife

I see a lot of my own style in these, when I'm in my evil writing phase.

Would you mind posting something of your own authorship, Nochielo? I'd like to see if our styles are as similar as you say.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I wish I had a black hole and an infinite supply of B83 atomic bombs, each time letting the heat barely rub against all of you before sucking it back with a black hole so I could slowly nuke the previous page over and over again for all time.

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