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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 19217
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 10:39 pm 
 

I think it's a really good album. But Age of the Joker is pretty much an all time favorite for me (as it's just the perfect formula of what I wanted of an album of its kind, plus it's a perfect Edguy album), and Tinnitus Sanctus and The Scarecrow are close in terms of Tobias's material, so all the new stuff is measured against those for me. I'd probably give The Mystery of Time a bit lower rating now even.
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Woolie_Wool
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 1673
Location: Far beyond the prophecy of tyrant guardians
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 7:46 pm 
 

The_Ghoul wrote:
The disc starts off with a serious case of jumpdafuckup, with chugging I could play with a dildo instead of a pick.

I demand a YouTube video of The_Ghoul playing nu-metal with by hitting the strings with a dildo.
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Jonpo
Hypercolombowler

Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:05 am
Posts: 4532
PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:58 pm 
 

Just wanted to say I really enjoyed autothrall's review of Death by Teitanblood. I've been ravenously consuming every review that pops up for this one, as it's just a harrowing monster and I like getting the thoughts of other's who have been put through the wringer. Although giving a much lower overall score I think he's captured the sound better than anyone else so far. Pure confrontation. You're not supposed to like it, you're just supposed to try to survive.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5397
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:53 am 
 

Usually when I see Autothrall +death metal + mid 70s score that means instant disagreement, but I actually see completely eye to on him on every level, gets everything right except having any interesting riffs.
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Nebster173
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 8:22 am
Posts: 301
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 6:16 am 
 

What's with all the good reviews for this turd?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/U ... ells/1318/

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5402
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:21 am 
 

I dunno, maybe it's really good? Feel free to review it or at least elucidate as to why it's such a turd.
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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 237
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 12:45 pm 
 

Wow not even the Death Metal Underground folks think that album's a turd, so congratulations on having even more laughably precise standards than them I guess?

Odalheim sure is overrated though.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3485
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 12:58 pm 
 

Nebster173 wrote:
What's with all the good reviews for this turd?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/U ... ells/1318/


Oh don't mind them. They're just "delusions".
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8852
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 12:59 pm 
 

Nebster173 wrote:
What's with all the good reviews for this turd?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/U ... ells/1318/

Stop these obnoxious comments, you're making a fool of yourself and no one is taking what you say seriously. If you have such pertinent and well thought opinions, feel free to write reviews but for now, you act like a negative and useless force.

Good short review by BH, out of his comfort zone for this one: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... astardHead
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6523
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 2:03 pm 
 

It's a good concise review, but especially with a short one like that, one third of it doesn't really need to be metatext.
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 877
Location: Boswell, PA USA
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 4:32 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Good short review by BH, out of his comfort zone for this one: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... astardHead


I agree. That was a great review of a really fun album....all 5 minutes worth. :lol: Seriously though, good job and I don't always agree with BH.
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Perdition666
Veteran

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 3319
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:17 pm 
 

Props to BastardHead for his Destrose review. I quite enjoyed that album and it was one of my highlights from last year (I'd probably score it around an 85% as well). Its a pity their vocalist Marina left the band recently. I guess considering how many personnel changes they've had over the years, this shouldn't shock me. :P Well, at least most of the band didn't depart with her this time (*looks at Mary's Blood*) Make sure to give their last single "霖 -Rin- / Maze" a go sometime. IMO, Maze is the best song they've done thus far.
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2298
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:22 pm 
 

Any review that references PRECIOUS WILLIAMS deserves props.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5402
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:31 pm 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
Any review that references PRECIOUS WILLIAMS deserves props.


I live for inside jokes <3

Thanks all for the last couple posts! Even Ilwhyan, you damn impossible to please bastard you.
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2298
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 8:44 pm 
 

Holy shit, SLlMER's review for Viraemia's EP almost gave me a stroke. I get that they sound like Brain Drill on steroids, so the fact that they went some five years without a negative review is really something, but I was hoping that the inevitable bash review would be less... wrong. Calling the album deathcore? Saying the songwriting sucks when it's ridiculously well-constructed for a tech-death band (very few transitionless riffs, repeated motifs, honest-to-god choruses on a couple songs)? Saying it's for Whitechapel fans? Jesus, you'd think the band murdered the dude's family or something.
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Wilytank wrote:
Aeosphorus wrote:
there are post-black metal bands such as ...Sunn O.

When did we start calling Sunn O))) black metal and how soon can we stop?

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3815
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 9:04 pm 
 

Hmm...first appearance of SLlMER in quite some time. Maybe he is out of practice?
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 5819
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 12:43 am 
 

That review of The Crusade Diamhea just did got me to listen to the album again as it was actually a semi-favorite of mine as a teenager. There aren't any real stinkers on the record up until Anthem and Unrepentant, the former reeking of "safe" and the latter being kind of ruined by the ill fitting vocal melodies Matt Heafy chose to use. The Hetfield impression he's doing isn't helping much either. His lyrics are also really, really bad here, especially on And Sadness Will Sear.
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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5970
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2014 10:30 am 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
Holy shit, SLlMER's review for Viraemia's EP almost gave me a stroke. I get that they sound like Brain Drill on steroids, so the fact that they went some five years without a negative review is really something, but I was hoping that the inevitable bash review would be less... wrong. Calling the album deathcore? Saying the songwriting sucks when it's ridiculously well-constructed for a tech-death band (very few transitionless riffs, repeated motifs, honest-to-god choruses on a couple songs)? Saying it's for Whitechapel fans? Jesus, you'd think the band murdered the dude's family or something.


Yeah, I really didn't like that one bit. Garbage review.
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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 989
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 5:14 pm 
 

Hey, slayrrr666, I really dig your reviews and all, and your recent Aborted review is really quite good and descriptive, but paragraphs can be your friend. That was a giant wall of text and it was very difficult to get through the whole thing because of that.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8537
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 6:16 pm 
 

TheStormIRide wrote:
Hey, slayrrr666, I really dig your reviews and all, and your recent Aborted review is really quite good and descriptive, but paragraphs can be your friend. That was a giant wall of text and it was very difficult to get through the whole thing because of that.

That indeed looks repulsive. Like a cinder block. Except cinder blocks are prettier.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 7:10 pm 
 

Ha, was just about to post this. Might as well go through with it now, I went through all the effort of taking a screenshot:

Spoiler: show
Image
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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 5080
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 7:19 pm 
 

Holy crap, all I can see is white! And I'm scrolling!!! :lol:
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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 989
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 7:48 pm 
 

Honestly, it was a really in depth review and hit a lot of really good points, but wow that was ugly to look at. It was extremely difficult to get through a whole paragraph.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4973
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 9:20 pm 
 

Ugh, track-by-track wall of text.

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5970
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 8:43 am 
 

Formatting is one's friend. A big friend.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9854
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 2:09 pm 
 

slayrrr666 is a reviewer that does that for every review, at least from what I read. He's a good enough guy, but I remember he was in the review feedback thread getting hammered for being unable to change this structure for his first review. My memory tells me he was incapable of writing a review without resorting to the track-by-track style.
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 10:07 am 
 

Finally got 'round to reading that most recent None So Vile review everyone was bitching about a couple of months ago. That's one of the most extreme examples of someone utterly failing to understand the music they're attempting to review I've ever witnessed. Reads exactly like what you'd expect out of some committee of elderly congressmen committed to the idea of banning metal or something. All just incoherent, formless noise!
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5402
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 11:04 am 
 

It's the infamous Scum review for the new generation!

Also, as pointed out by our old MIA friend, T-Bibz, mega lollerskates at the guy for listing "avant-garde" as one of his favorite subgenres when he rambles about how awful so many staple characteristics of the genre are. It's pretty clear he claims to be a fan of the genre purely because that's what Sigh are labeled as.
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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5970
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 11:06 am 
 

EschatonOmega wrote:
I can dislike a band, but hate is too strong of an emotion to be wasted on something as subjective as music


UGH. The most dickish way to say anything.

EschatonOmega wrote:
one, it's overrated to hell. Now that's not an inherent reason to hate an album, unless the album's actual quality doesn't measure up to the hype


Petition to ban people form using overrated in a goddamn review and as an anchor for criticism. Obviously you think it's fucking overrated if you're going to give it a 5%. Just let your criticism state that it's overrated, instead of just saying it flatly. I hate this angle of criticism too, "my enjoyment of this album didn't match up to my peers' enjoyment, so in addition to criticizing it, I'm going to give it a worse, more biased criticism solely because my expectations were failed to be met". Like, what the fuck? If he had never heard of it and it had no reputation, I'm sure as hell it wouldn't have gotten a 5%. This type of reasoning is just so goddamn annoying, and legends are being torn down because of it.

BLACK SABBATH ARE OVERRATED. ALL ALBUMS ARE LESS THAN 10% BARELY EVEN METAL.

EschatonOmega wrote:
it's noise. Complete noise. There is no song structure, no progression, nothing of anything close to that whatsoever. Instead it’s just thirty two minutes of the band members jerking themselves off to their own musical talent, without creating any real substance and the result is a very forgettable and boring release.


Oh...my...no....no. This also says nothing about the music - and is like, factually wrong. No mention of the leads? The melodic overtones of the solos spliced perfectly with the abstract riffing? No mention of the singular traditional death metal riffs (chunky and simple) mixed in with hyper-technical drumming? Did he even listen to "Graves of our Fathers", "Benedictine Convulsions", "Lichmistress", fucking "Phobophile"? :ugh:

EschatonOmega wrote:
The riffs do not go anywhere. Completely without sense or structure and they just play one directionless riff after another.....


Yeah, there's definitely no organic progression at all, the songs sound completely mashed up - the riffs don't flow even from one another. That's why None So Vile is so tersely composed and executed in an extremely compact manner. Oh man I hate those long-winded wanking riffs on that 30 minute album!

EschatonOmega wrote:
This is made even worse by the drumming


Ok, nevermind, the guy just hates death metal.

EschatonOmega wrote:
But the main reason why I hate this album is the vocals....guttural series of grunts, growls and shrieks that don't match up to the rest of the music at all


This made my nuts hurt. Just shitting over one of the most universally respected death metal vocalists of all time, also, again missing the point of death metal, and most importantly, is just wrong about the structure....

What a sickening review.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 931
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 11:49 am 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
Finally got 'round to reading that most recent None So Vile review everyone was bitching about a couple of months ago. That's one of the most extreme examples of someone utterly failing to understand the music they're attempting to review I've ever witnessed. Reads exactly like what you'd expect out of some committee of elderly congressmen committed to the idea of banning metal or something. All just incoherent, formless noise!

That review offends me deeply. NSV is one of the best DM records ever, that's my review on it.
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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 723
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 6:45 pm 
 

PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
EschatonOmega wrote:
I can dislike a band, but hate is too strong of an emotion to be wasted on something as subjective as music



UGH. The most dickish way to say anything.


Agreed, Frog. That is such a transparently bullshitty way to present his opinion as, somehow better than all our emotion-based opinions, like it's the absolute rational truth instead.
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DrummingEdge133
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:48 pm
Posts: 1631
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 8:32 pm 
 

Very sad to see that droneriot deleted his reviews. :aww: He had so many really awesome reviews up with a great unique sense of humor. I'm especially going to miss that Mortification review, I read that review several times and always enjoyed it greatly.
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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 596
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 9:52 am 
 

Terrific Ikonoklast review by Sick6Six, a great tribute and a fully justified 100% review for this excellent album. Personally I can't pick between that one and Goatcraft Torment for a favourite (albums to point out to those that bitch about Norwegian "nowadays" black metal), but Sick6Six's points about the way Trondr progressed the band's sound and tightness, and how Ikonoklast came to be created are well made and backed up with bang-on musical description.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 10:55 am 
 

Thanks! much appreciated :) it was really strange that I was listening to Urgehal a ton this past week without even realizing it was 2 years since he died when I started writing that review. I almost didn't post it and then when I saw posts about him from other bands and his family/friends I edited it up a bit more and I'm pretty happy with how it came out. I also agree with you about Goatcraft Torment, equally legendary album. :beer:
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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 596
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 11:10 am 
 

Sick6Six wrote:
Thanks! much appreciated :) it was really strange that I was listening to Urgehal a ton this past week without even realizing it was 2 years since he died when I started writing that review. I almost didn't post it and then when I saw posts about him from other bands and his family/friends I edited it up a bit more and I'm pretty happy with how it came out. I also agree with you about Goatcraft Torment, equally legendary album. :beer:

Amazing that much time has passed, yes. Seems only yesterday the idea of Urgehal ending when they had been at the absolute peak of their career was just setting in! Not to mention other projects like Beastcraft that he was integral to.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 11:39 am 
 

yep, a devastating loss all around. I felt like a family member had died when I first heard the news. I heard awhile ago that Trondr had a lot of other stuff in the works and Enzifer was trying to work on getting his last ideas recorded, but I don't know if that's going to happen or not. I'm sure Enzifer would want everything to sound perfect and finding someone to fill in for Trondr, especially those solos which I doubt he wrote out note by note, is impossible.
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Alsandair
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2007 2:00 pm
Posts: 559
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 2:52 pm 
 

Nokturnal_Wrath's review of Belus pretty much hits the nail on the head for me. Did a good job of giving what credit is due, which for me is hard because while yes, it's decent, it's such a huge step down from previous Burzum that it is quite frustrating to listen to.

Edit:
DrummingEdge133 wrote:
Very sad to see that droneriot deleted his reviews. :aww: He had so many really awesome reviews up with a great unique sense of humor. I'm especially going to miss that Mortification review, I read that review several times and always enjoyed it greatly.


wtf!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3815
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 6:43 am 
 

Okay, I've tried holding back but I can't anymore. Metal_Thrasher90. Dude, what. the. fuck? While his Thin Lizzy reviews are legendary monuments to perplexing "fan" criticism, the recent Anthrax ones just about did it for me. Spreading the Disease as heavy metal, not thrash? Anthrax not embodying mid-80s thrash standards? wat.

Metal_Thrasher90 on StD wrote:
Back then, Anthrax were denying thrash standards generally, 60% of this record should be rather described as heavy metal, melodic, weighty and polite.


Early Anthrax considered polite? Never thought I would ever see the day....I get that he likes to include a lot of history and genre-backstory with many of his reviews (and he definitely has the knowledge in this regard), but most of the time there just isn't much meat to the 'reviews' themselves, despite being rather lengthy reads on the whole.
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Rykov
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:52 pm
Posts: 252
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 10:58 am 
 

I don't get why some people write an entire review of nothing but good things, and then top it all off with like a seventy five per cent rating. Not a single negative thing the whole review-- it's all praise throughout-- I would have expected something in the nineties range just going off the text, but the overall rating? 75%. :scratch:
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 877
Location: Boswell, PA USA
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 11:41 am 
 

@Diamhea: I don't understand Metal_Thrasher90 either. I guess it's a matter of taste because he takes points off because Spreading The Disease is melodic and polite but he gives Scorpions Love at First Sting 100%. If anything is melodic and polite it's the Scorps. Not that I don't like Scorpions or that album. I just don't get it. I guess it's because Spreading The Disease is more of a straight up thrash record whereas ATL and SOE had more of the crossover feel due to the S.O.D. influence....and he gave Speak English or Die 100%.
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There is no word or sound that you can make with your mouth or word that will come out of your mouth that is so powerful that it'll make you to go to hell.

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