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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4919
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 11:58 pm 
 

This was the first review I saw in the queue today and it was quite good. I have not heard the album but it is a thorough description of the music. It certainly stood out from the rest of the stuff I read in the queue, I'll need to give this album a listen or two based on this review alone.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/R ... he_Trieste

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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6115
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:39 pm 
 

You know when people bitch out a review because THE PERSON DOESNT LIKE THE GENRE etc etc., and we all laugh them down and tell them to suck it up etc? This is applying fairly hard to me and that Sunneater review.. Man it's a bad one.
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dystopia4
Veteran

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3524
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:20 pm 
 

Wow, the guy really has no idea what he's talking about at all.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 899
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 11:04 am 
 

On the topic of bad reviews, I have plenty of albums that I don't like/never listen to, but I have way more that are awesome and I would much rather spend my time listening to and reviewing ones I actually enjoy instead of wasting hours of time listening to something I hate. I'm very selective in what I buy and listen to. Once in awhile I will buy something blindly if I see it for like 5$ and it has interesting artwork and an OK sample song. I still feel a little pressured into writing some "bad" reviews, but I just don't have the time/desire to do it unless maybe one of my favorite bands suddenly goes Metallica on me.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:56 pm 
 

I personally feel like having a wide range of scores not only makes you more interesting as a reviewer. Readers who see you pop up a lot will have a better idea of your taste and it's honestly just a lot of fun to tear into something terrible. Also I know I sometimes fall into the trap that even the best reviewers fall into sometimes where you can write a lot of positives in a row and end up using the same dozen descriptors for several different bands. It helps add some spice and variety. Granted, nobody can force you to write whatever, but speaking as a reader, somebody who writes almost exclusively one side or the other almost always bores the crap out of me.
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dystopia4
Veteran

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:09 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
I personally feel like having a wide range of scores not only makes you more interesting as a reviewer. Readers who see you pop up a lot will have a better idea of your taste and it's honestly just a lot of fun to tear into something terrible. Also I know I sometimes fall into the trap that even the best reviewers fall into sometimes where you can write a lot of positives in a row and end up using the same dozen descriptors for several different bands. It helps add some spice and variety. Granted, nobody can force you to write whatever, but speaking as a reader, somebody who writes almost exclusively one side or the other almost always bores the crap out of me.

Basically all of this. It is really, really fun to tear apart something you hate. For the using the same descriptors thing, yeah I've noticed that and try not to fall into it, but it still happens sometimes. I especially noticed that when I was reviewing a lot of unknown sludge bands for the challenge, I really had to force myself not to constantly come back to the same words. And yeah, reviewers who basically write primarily positive stuff on a single genre tend to be boring.
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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 465
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:51 pm 
 

Man, MushroomStamp is/was a great reviewer. His 100%s for Dol Guldur and Mental Funeral are some of the more well-justified 100s I've seen, and his writing is sparse and small in quantity but he's got spot-on, concise description. If you're out there, write more, dude!
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:11 pm 
 

RapeTheDead wrote:
Man, MushroomStamp is/was a great reviewer. His 100%s for Dol Guldur and Mental Funeral are some of the more well-justified 100s I've seen, and his writing is sparse and small in quantity but he's got spot-on, concise description. If you're out there, write more, dude!

No matter how good MushroomStamp may be, what killed his rep for me was his desktop wallpaper he had of one guy pissing into another guy's mouth. I still remember that back from 2006 / 2007. :lol:
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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 11:12 pm 
 

His Autopsy- Mental Funeral review is level-headed yet totally justified. That's a legit review, fo sho.
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Metantoine
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Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 11:20 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
I personally feel like having a wide range of scores not only makes you more interesting as a reviewer. Readers who see you pop up a lot will have a better idea of your taste and it's honestly just a lot of fun to tear into something terrible. Also I know I sometimes fall into the trap that even the best reviewers fall into sometimes where you can write a lot of positives in a row and end up using the same dozen descriptors for several different bands. It helps add some spice and variety. Granted, nobody can force you to write whatever, but speaking as a reader, somebody who writes almost exclusively one side or the other almost always bores the crap out of me.

I'm guilty of this for sure but I rarely feel like reviewing awful stuff that I hate mainly because I listen to the album a lot before and during the writing, I also rarely feel the need to check things that I know I won't love ahah. I'd like to review stuff I hate, maybe I need recs or something. I write a lot of virgins for more obscure bands that I like and I always have a list of "to-do", I like to share what I like but I always liked to read negative reviews, I should simply write some myself as I have the vitriol to do so. Send me some recommendations, guys!
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4919
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:41 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
I personally feel like having a wide range of scores not only makes you more interesting as a reviewer. Readers who see you pop up a lot will have a better idea of your taste and it's honestly just a lot of fun to tear into something terrible. Also I know I sometimes fall into the trap that even the best reviewers fall into sometimes where you can write a lot of positives in a row and end up using the same dozen descriptors for several different bands. It helps add some spice and variety. Granted, nobody can force you to write whatever, but speaking as a reader, somebody who writes almost exclusively one side or the other almost always bores the crap out of me.


This is both true because of what it does for the reader and the writer. Listening to and evaluating a wide range of quality in music helps me realize more about the qualities and components of the music, what makes things good, and what makes things bad, and how there are many different takes and results from different approaches. There are a lot of less-experienced listeners who try to cover a lot of ground by listening to the classics of every genre, only listening to what they perceive, before listening, to be the best music. This is quite common among the people who "like everything" - they aren't really critical nor are they particularly discerning.

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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
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Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:58 am 
 

Holy dumbfuck, that new review for Load is one of the biggest, most steaming piles of shit I've ever read. I'm really tempted to bring it up in oven fodder since that whiny rant is maybe 2% musical description at best, and even then, half of that is more implication of what it sounds like rather than outright description.

I actually like a lot of Load, too, so it pains me to see someone defend it with such an awful, whiny, obnoxious review.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5386
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 3:27 am 
 

Big band was a major genre in the 90s.

Also the "If you don't like half assed mainstream turd X, you must be stuck in 1986/84/89 depending on the genre in question, ie thrash/heavy/death" argument sickens me.
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DarthVenom
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2003 10:56 am
Posts: 611
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:50 am 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
Holy dumbfuck, that new review for Load is one of the biggest, most steaming piles of shit I've ever read. I'm really tempted to bring it up in oven fodder since that whiny rant is maybe 2% musical description at best, and even then, half of that is more implication of what it sounds like rather than outright description.


I actually nominated it to feed the ovens last night. :-P It might seem harsh to say that something deserves to be stripped from the site on the same night it gets put up for the world to see, but the review spends so little time describing the album's musical merits and so much time just angrily ranting against some bizarre strawman of metalheads that I can't see it being worthwhile on an album that already has so many reviews.

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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 899
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:01 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
I personally feel like having a wide range of scores not only makes you more interesting as a reviewer. Readers who see you pop up a lot will have a better idea of your taste and it's honestly just a lot of fun to tear into something terrible. Also I know I sometimes fall into the trap that even the best reviewers fall into sometimes where you can write a lot of positives in a row and end up using the same dozen descriptors for several different bands. It helps add some spice and variety. Granted, nobody can force you to write whatever, but speaking as a reader, somebody who writes almost exclusively one side or the other almost always bores the crap out of me.

I'm guilty of this for sure but I rarely feel like reviewing awful stuff that I hate mainly because I listen to the album a lot before and during the writing, I also rarely feel the need to check things that I know I won't love ahah. I'd like to review stuff I hate, maybe I need recs or something. I write a lot of virgins for more obscure bands that I like and I always have a list of "to-do", I like to share what I like but I always liked to read negative reviews, I should simply write some myself as I have the vitriol to do so. Send me some recommendations, guys!


Yeah It's about the same for me, The couple bad reviews I wrote were bands that are generally in my favorite list, but I was disappointed by one of their releases... I thought my bad reviews were written pretty damn well (maybe better than some of my good ones) I just ended up deleting them, I guess I won't do that again. I know I've given a lot of high scores to my reviews, but I've been listening to extreme metal for nearly 20 years and I know what I like usually before I buy it and don't waste my limited music listening time to stuff I know I don't like. Mainly trying to bring some attention to lesser known bands that are IMO better than most of the ones everyone knows about, so I've also been very selective in what I've reviewed so far. I've mentioned this before, but I don't want to be looked at as someone who over rates everything just because I mostly review some of my favorite stuff out of the hundreds of albums I have.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 8:09 pm 
 

I used to get a lot more negative review fodder than I do now, since I used to download everything anybody would praise in full, which gave me a LOT of stuff to hate on. Nowdays I sample anything new to me first, so the only terrible things I hear well enough to review now are from bands I know and respect enough to not bother sampling first (like Altar of Plagues for instance), or bands who have albums with one or two good songs which I happened to hear first among a massive pile of horseshit. So my stockpile of things to hate on is shrinking on me.

Edit: Also the new Paroxsihzem review seems to imply that mitochondrion and antediluvian are made up Canadian words :lol:
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 19057
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 8:17 pm 
 

I still do negative reviews when I find something that I have something to say about. I just don't like doing promos and such anymore. I never have anything to say about most, and they come out as substandard reviews. My best work can't be forced out like that...some things you just have so little to say about that it isn't worth reviewing. I still like bashing big bands who I have some reason to be angry at though. A lot of the stuff I review now tends to be stuff I've known for years or from bands I've always liked.

With that said I am trying to branch out and listen to more 'underground' stuff again, so we'll see if more reviews end up coming from it.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 8:50 pm 
 

I always find negative reviews the most fun. It just feels better constructively beating the crap out of something, foregoing the needless tantrum for a jenga-like dismantling of an album. Doing that gives me the most satisfying post-review enjoyment.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 9:09 pm 
 

lord_ghengis wrote:
Edit: Also the new Paroxsihzem review seems to imply that mitochondrion and antediluvian are made up Canadian words :lol:

They're not????? :aww:

I also started a negative review (handwritten notes) for a band I despise!
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5386
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:22 pm 
 

Mitochondrion are part of a cell, antediluvian is a biblical term for the pre flood world.
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2270
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:27 pm 
 

To be fair, naming your dissonant black/death band after a random organelle is pretty "unique and difficult". He didn't really outright say that it was a made-up word.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5386
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:46 pm 
 

I guess I took "creati.g" to mean making up rather than assigning a name.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 4:46 pm 
 

Can someone tell me why Volbeat had no negative reviews? Well now, they do!
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 6:54 pm 
 

No one with even the slightest tinge of taste had ever listened to a full Volbeat album before?
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3448
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 12:10 am 
 

Can I be the first one to write a negative review for Maudlin of the Well on here?

Spoiler: show
It's not going to be Bath, but I am working on that review and it's not breaking the 80s mark.
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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6115
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:17 pm 
 

How on Earth do people actually "work" on reviews? I haven't done a review that's taken longer than an hour I think.. It's rare that the album will actually play through in the time I've done a review (obviously I've listened to the album a few times before I write it). If it doesn't flow stream of consciousness style it's not going to flow at all!
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:49 pm 
 

Do you really care that much about semantics? Besides, some of us get pulled away from the computer/notebook for any reason.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:25 pm 
 

caspian wrote:
How on Earth do people actually "work" on reviews? I haven't done a review that's taken longer than an hour I think.. It's rare that the album will actually play through in the time I've done a review (obviously I've listened to the album a few times before I write it). If it doesn't flow stream of consciousness style it's not going to flow at all!

That's 45 minutes more than for FullMetalAttorney's reviews.
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2270
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 10:38 pm 
 

Wilytank wrote:
Do you really care that much about semantics?

Quite rich, coming from the guy who posted in this thread twice solely to point out my use of "or something" in a Portal review and RapeTheDead's lack of punctuation in the title of his Summoning review. :D
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Wilytank wrote:
Aeosphorus wrote:
there are post-black metal bands such as ...Sunn O.

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6486
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 10:51 am 
 

caspian wrote:
How on Earth do people actually "work" on reviews? I haven't done a review that's taken longer than an hour I think.. It's rare that the album will actually play through in the time I've done a review (obviously I've listened to the album a few times before I write it). If it doesn't flow stream of consciousness style it's not going to flow at all!

It's called process writing. First a writer might write a rough draft or skeleton of what they intend to be their final review, possibly using that stream of consciousness technique (I find that to be the easiest method when typing). After that they go through what they've written in several phases, adding, rephrasing, removing and otherwise tweaking the text, and this is generally done in the course of several days for the best possible effect: a writer can easily become blind to the faults in his/her writing, and giving it some rest will help in locating them. This is because some sentences might make perfect sense to him/her when the thought process is still fresh in mind, while it might be very difficult to decipher from the text.

You certainly don't lack self-regard if you consider your first version to be perfect. In my case, that "working" on reviews stems from not being satisfied with what I've achieved, and the end version is more an abortion, if you will, of the work, rather than a finished piece. With me, it would never finish if I never aborted it.

Yes, my typical review is quite the abortion. :|
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SadisticGratification
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:00 pm
Posts: 406
Location: Ireland
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:28 pm 
 

I know it's probably a bit late to be saying this but I read Empyreal's review of Into The Grave and it's very good. I enjoyed it immensely and s/he described the album very well, it felt like a sickening humour filled promotion for the record. A unique review for a band that is hard to write about without using the typical Swedeath tropes. I'd like to read a review of Endless Procession of Souls from him/her......... well it would have to be an overwhelmingly positive review though ;)

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:40 pm 
 

I'm surprised the autothrall fungus didn't like 21st Century Killing Machine. That record's a good time of sleazy thrash/death metal.

From zeingard, definitely one of my faves. I wish he'd review more:

Quote:
They're a boring, predictable band for people who want to listen to groove metal that flirts with 'Slaughter of the Soul' melody every now and then when Dolving isn't barking like a doberman with a tennis ball wedged firmly in its ass.


Stomach hurts, can't stop laughing. Fuck.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... 8/zeingard
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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 465
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 3:53 pm 
 

zeingard rules! We need more reviewers heavy on the negatives to balance out the overwhelming fanboyism present in most m-a reviews. Bring back droneriot!
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 4:03 pm 
 

Zein is an old favorite of mine. Definitely one of the guys I try to emulate in the realm of "descriptive/informative while also being entertaining/funny".
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dystopia4
Veteran

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:14 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
caspian wrote:
How on Earth do people actually "work" on reviews? I haven't done a review that's taken longer than an hour I think.. It's rare that the album will actually play through in the time I've done a review (obviously I've listened to the album a few times before I write it). If it doesn't flow stream of consciousness style it's not going to flow at all!

That's 45 minutes more than for FullMetalAttorney's reviews.

:lol:
Yeah, I usually don't go over an hour, unless it's for raging fanboy reviews (like Souls at Zero) or where I want to meticulously tear an album I really hate apart. I understand the whole drafting process or whatever, but I kind of feel it's largely unnecessary once you get into the swing of reviewing.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:58 pm 
 

SadisticGratification wrote:
I know it's probably a bit late to be saying this but I read Empyreal's review of Into The Grave and it's very good. I enjoyed it immensely and s/he described the album very well, it felt like a sickening humour filled promotion for the record. A unique review for a band that is hard to write about without using the typical Swedeath tropes. I'd like to read a review of Endless Procession of Souls from him/her......... well it would have to be an overwhelmingly positive review though ;)


I had fun writing that years ago, but I try not to do reviews in that style now. Just not what I'm good at. Only a couple people can really do silly gimmick reviews like that well, i.e. BastardHead and the likes. I usually try to do more serious analyses for my metal reviews now...but thanks for the praise man, glad you enjoyed it.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Québec
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 7:06 pm 
 

I multitask all the time so I don't really count the time I spend on a review. Like I've been reviewing this Infera Bruo album all day but I've been on and off word and I needed to listen to the album 3 or 4 times since I never heard it before. I like to take my time with many bands, like my Rev-B review, I took some handwritten notes while I was listening to the album in bed and it took a while to write. And of course, English being my second language, I'm not as fast as I am in French.
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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6115
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 7:53 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
You certainly don't lack self-regard if you consider your first version to be perfect. In my case, that "working" on reviews stems from not being satisfied with what I've achieved, and the end version is more an abortion, if you will, of the work, rather than a finished piece. With me, it would never finish if I never aborted it.

It's probably moreso a lack of self-consciousness than a high opinion or anything, haha. I guess I just find it funny the amount of worth people put into crafting a review. It's nice reading a good piece of writing (and certainly, your reviews are of a higher quality than mine) but I just use it as a way to blow off steam when I'm incredibly bored, so I always have a bit of a giggle by seeing how passionate some people can get about getting it right.

I used to do notes to albums fairly often back when I was mining, sitting in a control room etc.- but why take notes for albums if you're not getting paid to do it? :D
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XcKyle93
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:04 pm
Posts: 283
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 10:52 pm 
 

droneriot's review of In Flames' Lunar Strain legitimately made me :(. It didn't make me angry, just a bit sad. I'm listening to the album right now; there is genuine beauty in some of the guitar leads, and especially Everlost (Part 2). How could anyone give that a 0%?
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dystopia4
Veteran

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3524
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:10 pm 
 

Took me over three years, but I've finally reached my 200th review, which I did on one of my favourite black metal albums (warning: may contain unprecedented amounts of purple prose). Also received my first physical release to review from a band, which I thought was pretty cool. Receiving electronic promos (which I do get a fair amount of now that I'm writing for TMO) is definitely cool, but having something you can hold in your hand is really rewarding.
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