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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2833
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 11:10 pm 
 

One of the best reviews on the site: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/J ... odIronBeer
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 2:43 am 
 

That review is great, contrasted by one abnormally high rating. :lol:

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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 6:03 pm 
 

I absolutely love the description of the guitar sound. This is the kind of thing that can really crack me up. :lol:
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Thumbman
Big Cube

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4473
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 11:59 pm 
 

Haha, that BloodIronBeer guy's butthurt rant on his profile against Zodi because he rejected a few of his reviews is quite funny.
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caspian
Old Man Yells at Car Park

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6414
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 9:06 am 
 

Really liked the new Lulu review :thumbsup:
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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1842
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 9:31 am 
 

caspian wrote:
Really liked the new Lulu review :thumbsup:


I enjoyed reading that review about 100 times better than listening to the album. That captured the essence of the collaboration... and still supplied enough musical description. Good work!
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 4:33 pm 
 

While reviews of ultra-unpopular albums tend to be really boring and annoying, Lulu really is a source of some hilarious reading.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35140
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 5:34 pm 
 

Most reviews of Lulu are so hilariously off base and extreme, without really even trying to listen to it much. It's not good, but I like it, and it's interesting enough to analyze beyond the "lol James says he's a table" kind of nonsense...it's its own thing, which is more than can be said for a vast majority of bands. That new review really is very good.
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5950
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 7:18 pm 
 

I actually really like your review of it Empy, possibly just because it reflects my views on it pretty perfectly, but still. Surely some people have to appreciate the garage band grooviness somewhat, no doubt they run it into the ground with mountains of repetition, but the riffs have more attitude than anything Metallica has written since 1986.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 8:59 pm 
 

Thanks man, I think the repetition and the weird croaky, insane old man vocals make for a really odd, singular kind of experience and atmosphere. The songs are way too long and the album is difficult to sit through in one sitting because of its length, but eh, I can dig it pretty well.
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:13 pm 
 

I'm sort of surprised by how moderate the first two reviews of Frequency Unknown are, after what I had seen on the forums I thought "shitstorm imminent" as soon as the release date came.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:08 pm 
 

TheLiberation wrote:
I'm sort of surprised by how moderate the first two reviews of Frequency Unknown are, after what I had seen on the forums I thought "shitstorm imminent" as soon as the release date came.

I haven't reviewed it yet. That album is one of the biggest, most dishonest piles of shit I've ever heard.
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
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PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:10 pm 
 

I'm waiting then :lol:
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 6:00 pm 
 

Yeah, I'm reviewing it soon too, would've had it done before, but that would mean listening to it again. Just fuckin awful.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 6:03 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
...but that would mean listening to it again. Just fuckin awful.

@Liberation: hence why you'll be waiting a while. I'm rarely disgusted by music, as in hating it to such a degree that I hate the creators of it. This is one of them. Frequency Unknown is a complete waste of existence.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 6:05 pm 
 

The song "Dare" along justifies a 0%, let alone Tate's attitude and the ridiculous stunts he's pulled going up to the release. Oh and the re-recording of "I Don't Believe in Love." :puke:
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 6:11 pm 
 

Yeah so this makes me wait for the reviews even more, especially knowing you two and your writing styles :lol:
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 11:13 pm 
 

My reaction to the new Frequency Unknown review having a 79%:

Spoiler: show
Image
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 11:27 pm 
 

^No. No image macro needed, this isn't 4chan.

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 2176
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 11:31 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
My reaction to the new Frequency Unknown review having a 79%


It's even better when you realize that same guy gave Awaken the Guardian an 80%. I know scores aren't everything, but still, in this guy's estimation, Frequency Unknown is one percent shy of Awaken the Guardian. :getout:
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 12:35 am 
 

In Emp's FU review, singling out "Dare" was the best part. When I heard it for the first time and Geoff began swearing (and then the chorus hit), my jaw dropped.

The song I'm going to bully briefly is "Give It To You". Lifeless '90s alternative rock with, to me, the most overused, pompous line on the album. You know which one I'm talking about - Geoff won't stop saying it in the song.

Brace yourself, Emp! Geoff's comin' for you!

Spoiler: show
Image
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 1:44 am 
 

Metal_Detector wrote:
It's even better when you realize that same guy gave Awaken the Guardian an 80%. I know scores aren't everything, but still, in this guy's estimation, Frequency Unknown is one percent shy of Awaken the Guardian. :getout:


Well if you're talking about 0 and 1.00, I guess it's nearly right.

The lowest acceptable score to give Awaken the Guardian is 93%, which is only acceptable if you're as prolifically critical as UltraBoris where that cracks his top 20 out of 600 or however many he originally wrote. Anything but undying, eternal praise for Awaken the Guardian is completely wrong and a disgrace to you, your band, family, and Facebook friends list.

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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 3053
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:55 am 
 

TheLiberation wrote:
I'm sort of surprised by how moderate the first two reviews of Frequency Unknown are, after what I had seen on the forums I thought "shitstorm imminent" as soon as the release date came.


I found the album to be pretty bad, but not quite as utterly detestable as "Q2K" or "American Soldier", and a 42% score coming from me is nowhere near an endorsement. Not to mention I didn't really pay attention to the whole drama surrounding Tate being axed from the band, so that probably played a part in my being apathetic towards the album rather than scornful.

edit: After looking over my other Queensryche reviews I took my initial score down a little to better reflect some of the comparisons I made in this one.
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 7:58 am 
 

Empyreal's review feels like a tank rolling all over the album, honestly. This is exactly what I mean by saying ultra-negative reviews which do not go for "fuck this shitty album and you're all dicks" are far more powerful and destructive.

I'm just a bit curious, why is American Soldier hated this much? It was already inconsistent as hell and some songs were artificially pop-ified, but it's nowhere near the disastrous piece of crap Dedicated to Chaos is. (Still need to listen to FU... Maybe when I'm in some sort of weird mood)
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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1842
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:48 am 
 

I know I've mentioned it here before, but everytime I see oneyoudontknow's review of "Themes From William Blake's the Marriage of Heaven and Hell", I am completely astounded. Possibly my favorite review on the site. If you haven't read it yet, please do.
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Thumbman
Big Cube

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4473
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 2:39 pm 
 

From Subrick's Rings of Saturn review:
Quote:
but what transpires for the 35 minutes this album runs for is just one terrible, horrible, no good, very bad noise section after another.

:lol: Sounds like something my grandma would say about say about death metal in general.
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 2:48 pm 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
From Subrick's Rings of Saturn review:
Quote:
but what transpires for the 35 minutes this album runs for is just one terrible, horrible, no good, very bad noise section after another.

:lol: Sounds like something my grandma would say about say about death metal in general.

Sound like a perfect description of that band to me!

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Thumbman
Big Cube

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4473
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 2:54 pm 
 

While, they do go over the top sometimes with the Super Mario sweeps, I thought the album was pretty cool. "Noise" seems to more of an insult than an apt description.
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:34 pm 
 

This is a comment I got on the SputnikMusic posting of my Rings of Saturn review.

Quote:
bands is awesome ur just all jealous u cant play like that


I had a hearty moment of amusement. I should also note that the person who made this comment gave the album a 4.5 out of 5.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

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Last edited by Subrick on Sat May 11, 2013 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:38 pm 
 

I can sweep pick and speed it up! Let's start a technintendeathcore band, Subrick!

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Thumbman
Big Cube

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4473
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:41 pm 
 

:lol:
I totally get why people don't like them. I like the first album (haven't gotten around to the second yet) but I think they'd be much better off without guitar acrobatics/wankery. Or maybe just a more toned-down version of it. Some of the more tasteful use of breakdowns in deathcore, in my opinion.
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
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PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:47 pm 
 

Hey, at least this modern tech death review is getting a better reception than the Beyond Creation review did. :P
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:55 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
Hey, at least this modern tech death review is getting a better reception than the Beyond Creation review did. :P


Man, nobody shit on that after you took yours down? I'll have to fix that...
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 4:02 pm 
 

Nope. When I put my review up, the percentage went down to I think an 89%. Without my sole negative review of it, the percentage that album has 98%.

Also, the one big thing everyone harped on when my review was up was that I said I couldn't hear the bass on the record, which I genuinely could not.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 4:10 pm 
 

Which is exactly why your review wasn't very good, because god damn the bass is the biggest problem with the album apart from the dull and inconsequential songwriting. I seriously have no idea how you can't hear it. Either your ears are legitimately damaged, you have awful speakers/headphones, or somehow don't know what a bass sounds like. It's bewildering to me.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 4:12 pm 
 

Man, how can you not hear the bass? The whole album is just that. You're a good musician, I can't understand either -_-

Anyway, how to write a good negative review by BH: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... astardHead

I definitely agree about how overrated this album is even if I can enjoy it, I would give it a high 60 or low 70 or so.
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 4:12 pm 
 

I have tinnitus, but it's not severe enough to the point of hindering my ability to hear. There's only been one time in my life that it got so bad that I just could not handle any sound whatsoever, and that was almost a year and a half ago. Maybe I just got a bad download of the album.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 5:15 pm 
 

I love BastardHead's comparison - the bass on that Beyond Creation album sounds like the adults on Peanuts :lol:

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 5:21 pm 
 

The one negative review of it on SputnikMusic compared the bass sound to a moaning woman.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
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~Guest 171512
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 2099
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 5:29 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
Metal_Detector wrote:
It's even better when you realize that same guy gave Awaken the Guardian an 80%. I know scores aren't everything, but still, in this guy's estimation, Frequency Unknown is one percent shy of Awaken the Guardian. :getout:


Well if you're talking about 0 and 1.00, I guess it's nearly right.

The lowest acceptable score to give Awaken the Guardian is 93%, which is only acceptable if you're as prolifically critical as UltraBoris where that cracks his top 20 out of 600 or however many he originally wrote. Anything but undying, eternal praise for Awaken the Guardian is completely wrong and a disgrace to you, your band, family, and Facebook friends list.


:lol: I have finally found the perfect signature quote. Thank you, good sir.

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