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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 4:45 pm 
 

It starts with 5 paragraphs discussing the lyrics and subject matter, which is a bit overkill.
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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5262
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 5:38 pm 
 

If it suits the purpose. Considering the degree that black metal bands -- especially in the underground -- tend to avoid spreading their lyrics, this grants some interesting insights.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:03 pm 
 

More than the lyrics, it addresses the aesthetic and appeal of the band, which is complete rubbish but seems to sell incredibly mediocre music well.

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2526
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:40 pm 
 

I've said it here before and I'll say it again: that Kruel review is easily one of the stupidest things I've ever read. Nothing in that review makes any sense at all and he clearly wrote the review only to troll or over-analyze the band's gimmick, which is apparently the most IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD IF THEY AREN'T TRUE SATANISTS AND THERE ARE MESSAGES IN THE LYRICS ABOUT DSO BEING PRO-CHRISTIAN! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

Fuck Kruel and his shit reviews.
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:44 pm 
 

*looks through Kruel's review list*

*sees review for The Sound of Perseverance with the title "Christianity and AIDS"*

*tries reading the first paragraph but closes the page from how stupid it is*
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OzzyApu
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Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:57 pm 
 

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
I've said it here before and I'll say it again: that Kruel review is easily one of the stupidest things I've ever read. Nothing in that review makes any sense at all and he clearly wrote the review only to troll or over-analyze the band's gimmick, which is apparently the most IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD IF THEY AREN'T TRUE SATANISTS AND THERE ARE MESSAGES IN THE LYRICS ABOUT DSO BEING PRO-CHRISTIAN! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

Fuck Kruel and his shit reviews.

Agreed. For the amount of work that went into it, it's such a waste of an argument to be making. Even Noctir's "the masses are simple-minded" (masses in the review in question = most black metal fans) isn't as dumb as Kruel's points. His Windir review is especially annoying, but that's still a music review.
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Zodijackyl
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:24 am 
 

I'll put it this way: That's an absolutely terrible review but an excellent satire of the band.

Yeah, otherwise his reviews are mostly poor trolling.

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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:42 am 
 

Good ol' times remembering Kruel and his abrupt transition from 4chan postwhore retard to full on ANUSite. actually maybe not so good times. We all have our "golden age" of the forum, mine was definitely pre-Kruel, haha.
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enigmatech
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:57 pm
Posts: 321
PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:45 am 
 

Subrick wrote:
*looks through Kruel's review list*

*sees review for The Sound of Perseverance with the title "Christianity and AIDS"*

*tries reading the first paragraph but closes the page from how stupid it is*


Even as a massive Death fan, I was never bothered by that review (or any of Kruel's reviews, really). His opinions were ridiculous, but I always felt that he was, at the very least, able to supply some good arguments and put across his opinions, so I was never really bothered by his reviews. He never came across as childish or obnoxious (to me) as RageW's review for the same album does, or PatientZero's now-deleted Hail of Bullets review (which, in my opinion, was almost alexlovestheredchord-esque).

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dystopia4
Veteran

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:00 pm 
 

Yup, Kruel certainly isn't the best. At least Noktorn's 0% for that Deathspell album was well done. That Dopethrone review did piss me off a bit.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 5:15 pm 
 

Noktorn's 0 was well done to an extent. He makes his point clearly and in that sense it's fine, but his 0% is clearly hatemail baiting. His arguments basically add up to "it isn't as completely unique and ground breaking as others say, therefore it is artistically invalid and worthless", which is a pretty stupid leap. I mean at one point he flat out says the drumming is good for BM, but tech death did it first, so it's worthless, which is just stupid logic.
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GuntherTheUndying
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Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:59 pm 
 

In other words, the usual Noktorn output.
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zeingard
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:49 pm
Posts: 539
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:42 pm 
 

lord_ghengis wrote:
Noktorn's 0 was well done to an extent. He makes his point clearly and in that sense it's fine, but his 0% is clearly hatemail baiting. His arguments basically add up to "it isn't as completely unique and ground breaking as others say, therefore it is artistically invalid and worthless", which is a pretty stupid leap. I mean at one point he flat out says the drumming is good for BM, but tech death did it first, so it's worthless, which is just stupid logic.


You do realise the score is just a number right? If you've read the review and think it's well done then why should the silly little number next to the review title matter that much? I can't speak for Noktorn but I'm guessing the 0 is for impact; a way to quickly articulate that he felt the album was an artistic nadir.

Maybe the site should implement an option to turn off review scores so that number-fixated sperg lords may finally have peace as they wank off to positive reviews of their favourite albums?
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:40 pm 
 

I know there is more to a review than a score, but the score does put an expectation of worthlessness to his review, and he fails to justify his thoughts of utter worthlessness, beyond it not being what everyone else talks it up to.

It isn't even an album I think all that highly of, I never said anything about being offended by it, and I'm not a number sperg.
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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
Posts: 360
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:50 pm 
 

lord_ghengis wrote:
I know there is more to a review than a score, but the score does put an expectation of worthlessness to his review, and he fails to justify his thoughts of utter worthlessness, beyond it not being what everyone else talks it up to.

It isn't even an album I think all that highly of, I never said anything about being offended by it, and I'm not a number sperg.


Honestly, as a general rule, any review that boasts a 0% score above it is a review I'll skip without even bothering to read a single word, no matter who wrote it or what band it is. That 0 tells me beforehand everything I need to know about the author and that it won't be worth my time.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:35 pm 
 

That's pretty stupid, Peroy. The 0% score is there for a reason and it's perfectly viable for reviews, though it's more to be said about the intelligence of many reviewers who just happen to over-use it...
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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:47 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
That's pretty stupid, Peroy. The 0% score is there for a reason and it's perfectly viable for reviews, though it's more to be said about the intelligence of many reviewers who just happen to over-use it...


Hmm... nah, I'll stand by what I said. Especially if it's a 0 percenter for a somewhat popular band that received a modicum of commercial success (e.g. Metallica, In Flames etc.). No need to wallow through those tripes of endless slurs.

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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:48 pm 
 

Yeah that's stupid peroy, 0% scores are perfectly valid. Just like any other scores. I am in no way saying people shouldn't give out 0's, and removing figures from it, saying things are utterly worthless. Lots of shit is just that, utterly worthless. My point was more related to Noktorn's reasoning for utter worthlessness never actually brought up anything to justify it, unlike say Kruels, which is a much, much worse review, but he makes his reasoning for it's awfulness painfully clear. I actually agree pretty consistently with Noktorn's points in it from memory.
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Metal_Detector
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:53 pm 
 

Seriously, how can there be zeniths without utter nadirs? If you have that philosophy, you might as well skip every review scored 100% as well... :roll:

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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
Posts: 360
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:57 pm 
 

lord_ghengis wrote:
Yeah that's stupid peroy, 0% scores are perfectly valid.


The score maybe valid, but most reviewer's handling of it most certainly isn't... and as we say in Germany "A burnt child dreads the fire". So, for sake of my sanity and blood pressure, I'm better off ignoring those kinds of "reviews"... ;)

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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:02 pm 
 

Metal_Detector wrote:
Seriously, how can there be zeniths without utter nadirs? If you have that philosophy, you might as well skip every review scored 100% as well... :roll:


There may be utter nadirs... but certainly, "Master of Puppets", "Soundtrack to your Escape", "Demanufacture" or "The Sound of Perseverance" arent to be considered as such. So a quick glance at the score will suffice for those...

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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:18 pm 
 

U_B's MoP 0% is one of the few that really does use the 0 as a handy tool for talking about things beyond the album itself. It's actually quite an interesting take on the whole scene, definitely one of his non shitty reviews.

And it's easy to see how someone could give demanufacture a 0, it's made out of lots of shitty mainstream elements, I like the title track and Pisschrist, without them it'd be down there.
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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
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Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:22 pm 
 

lord_ghengis wrote:
And it's easy to see how someone could give demanufacture a 0, it's made out of lots of shitty mainstream elements, I like the title track and Pisschrist, without them it'd be down there.


No, it wouldn't...

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6334
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:46 pm 
 

Peroy wrote:
Metal_Detector wrote:
Seriously, how can there be zeniths without utter nadirs? If you have that philosophy, you might as well skip every review scored 100% as well... :roll:


There may be utter nadirs... but certainly, "Master of Puppets", "Soundtrack to your Escape", "Demanufacture" or "The Sound of Perseverance" arent to be considered as such. So a quick glance at the score will suffice for those...

I consider Soundtrack to Your Escape to be such an utter nadir, and it should be easy to see why.

I, on the other hand, understand skipping a 100% review for something you know to be very poor or average at best. For example, I wouldn't read a 100% Wintersun review unless it was written by someone whose writing I enjoy very much.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:55 pm 
 

Peroy wrote:
any review that boasts a 0% score above it is a review I'll skip without even bothering to read a single word,

I actually make a point of reading 0% reviews. Why, you ask? Because! Evidence for why this is a good idea.

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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
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Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:54 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Peroy wrote:
I consider Soundtrack to Your Escape to be such an utter nadir, and it should be easy to see why.


I certainly see why YOU would consider it to be such... as I said, those 0 percenters tell me more about the reviewer than the music.

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
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Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:05 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Peroy wrote:
any review that boasts a 0% score above it is a review I'll skip without even bothering to read a single word,

I actually make a point of reading 0% reviews. Why, you ask? Because! Evidence for why this is a good idea.

Lulu is something that is difficult to discuss without some broader explanation and analysis:
http://www.furious.com/perfect/lulu.html
The only interesting review I have seen of this release so far. The stuff posted at the MA can be ignored in this respect.
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Ilwhyan
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:06 pm 
 

Peroy wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
I consider Soundtrack to Your Escape to be such an utter nadir, and it should be easy to see why.


I certainly see why YOU would consider it to be such... as I said, those 0 percenters tell me more about the reviewer than the music.

:lol: Oh well. And Germans are supposedly known for being reasonable.
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Zodijackyl
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:20 pm 
 

I'm surprised anyone considered STYE as not being at the bottom of the barrel, I'm a huge In Flames fan and have been since long before that album, but I think it's garbage. Maybe not 0, but 30-40 would be generous. Their last one earned the 0%, and the idea of making a vocal-driven album when your singer is Anders Friden couldn't have turned out well.

Peroy: Do you think that Rancid Entity's "best of" or Straight Line Stitch's first EP deserve above 0%? There's some really terrible music out there.

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Peroy
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Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:22 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
:lol: Oh well. And Germans are supposedly known for being reasonable.


Nah... we're assholes... :P

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Peroy
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Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
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Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:24 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
I'm surprised anyone considered STYE as not being at the bottom of the barrel, I'm a huge In Flames fan and have been since long before that album, but I think it's garbage. Maybe not 0, but 30-40 would be generous. Their last one earned the 0%, and the idea of making a vocal-driven album when your singer is Anders Friden couldn't have turned out well.


Nothing they ever did earns a 0%... they'd have to play their instruments with their feet for that to be true.

Quote:
Peroy: Do you think that Rancid Entity's "best of" or Straight Line Stitch's first EP deserve above 0%? There's some really terrible music out there.


I'm not familiar with either of those so... Idunno... *shrug* :?

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
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Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:30 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
Peroy: Do you think that Rancid Entity's "best of" or Straight Line Stitch's first EP deserve above 0%? There's some really terrible music out there.

I like to throw this one in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1rEZOOZeJs
How do you deal with this? Merely from the point of view of the music or also from another perspective?
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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
Posts: 360
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:34 pm 
 

oneyoudontknow wrote:
Zodijackyl wrote:
Peroy: Do you think that Rancid Entity's "best of" or Straight Line Stitch's first EP deserve above 0%? There's some really terrible music out there.

I like to throw this one in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1rEZOOZeJs
How do you deal with this? Merely from the point of view of the music or also from another perspective?


I'm not even quite sure what I'm listening to there, for this video seems to be a mashup of a shitty live recording and some pre-recorded electronic stuff. The sound quality alone is terrible. So how is one supposed to evaluate that... ?

It doesn't sound any good though, if that's the reaction you expected... :)

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Metantoine
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 9:41 pm 
 

Man, % are only numbers, the only important thing is the review itself. If you don't read the review because of the rating, well I'm sorry but it's your loss.

Quote:
those 0 percenters tell me more about the reviewer than the music


Yeah, saying that says a lot about the type of reader you are.
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OzzyApu
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 9:44 pm 
 

Peroy wrote:
Nothing they ever did earns a 0%... they'd have to play their instruments with their feet for that to be true.

We review the quality of the music, not the ability of the players. Just stop yourself now before it's too late.

... and STYE is a total 0%. I would know.
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Peroy
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 9:45 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
Peroy wrote:
Nothing they ever did earns a 0%... they'd have to play their instruments with their feet for that to be true.

We review the quality of the music, not the ability of the players. Just stop yourself now before it's too late.

... and STYE is a total 0%. I would know.


Sure you would... :P

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Metal_Detector
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 9:50 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
We review the quality of the music, not the ability of the players.


This really cannot be emphasized enough. I don't get what is so hard to understand for some people about this factor.

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TheStormIRide
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Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:24 pm 
 

Am I the only one that saw the video of the blues guitarist playing with his feet?
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Wilytank
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:39 pm 
 

At long last, I've decided to yank my two Gorguts reviews pending an (eventual) rewrite. Looking back, I could have written them better than I had.
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XcKyle93
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:58 pm 
 

The newest review for TBDM's Ritual sucks. The guy pretty much just says "this album isn't powerful, it's weak" over and over again. Also, his grammar is not particularly good either.

The thing is, I kind of agree with the rating and what he says, it's just a crappy review. He could have typed a shorter review instead of repeating the same point over and over again. Ritual is my least favorite TBDM album; it's just boring.
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