Ilwhyan's Shining review is a pretty good read. And it was about time someone bashed them bluntly. Nice one mate!
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| The Official Review Discussion Thread https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=7444 |
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| Author: | BastardHead [ Sat Feb 09, 2013 4:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Thanks fellas! I've put my reorder in a playlist and I think it works well enough, the only real issues being that I just do not like "Sleeping Stars" or "Death and the Healing" at all, and "Sadness and Hate" only has the odd part I enjoy, so I feel like no matter where I put those, I won't be happy. A re-edit would be fun though, I'd be really interested in hearing it if you do such a thing. |
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| Author: | Slag [ Sat Feb 09, 2013 9:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Read your Lancer review, BH, thought it was quite good. I'd only heard a few songs (and was, of course, inspired to do so by the album artwork), but the vibe I got from them is just as you describe the album. That last line in the review about all of those qualities from those classics and removing them to make Lancer made me laugh out loud. Hahah |
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| Author: | SS_Division_Wiking [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
The Carolus Rex review by Napero is one very, very enjoyable read detailing some historical context to the themes. I would have liked to have seen him put a little bit more in the way of musical description on the review but I recommend it for fans wanting to know about Sabaton. |
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| Author: | Napero [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Hehe, thank you. Considering the combination of your username and the rant part of the review, I must say I'm slightly surprised for the kind words. You're quite right about the thinness of the musical description, BTW. |
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| Author: | hakarl [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
The review assumes you've already heard some Sabaton. If you have, it gives a fairly accurate musical picture of the album. |
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| Author: | BastardHead [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
The review amazed me because it really made me want to hear the album, despite already knowing that I wasn't much of a Sabaton fan. And when I heard it, surprise, I didn't like it all that much. Still, the review does an excellent job of doing what it sets out to do. |
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| Author: | Subrick [ Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... 44/Subrick The first review of the new Suffocation album, written by, of all people, me. |
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| Author: | Metantoine [ Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Subrick wrote: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Suffocation/Pinnacle_of_Bedlam/359844/Subrick The first review of the new Suffocation album, written by, of all people, me. That's annoying, stop self promoting your reviews, it's pretentious as hell. |
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| Author: | GuntherTheUndying [ Fri Feb 15, 2013 5:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Yeah, seriously. This thread is for discussing reviews, not pointing at yourself while shouting, "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!" |
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| Author: | Mysticaloldbard [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Empyreal's review of Mysterium was a good read. I especially enjoyed the descriptive writing in the third paragraph. He doesn't get overtly in-depth when talking about specific songs, but he used enough detail to give me a sense of the song, bearing in mind I'm already familiar with the album. The length was just right, too, and on a more personal note, thank you for divvying up the paragraphs into readable sections; I have terrible eyes and huge chunks can give me headache. |
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| Author: | Empyreal [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 4:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
It's a funny story about the paragraph sizes. When I used my old desktop computer on my early reviews, the paragraphs looked right when I crammed a bunch of words and sentences in, and then when I posted them here, they showed up as huge, block-wall texts of paragraphs. But on my laptop they just looked big enough already, and then I'd post the reviews and the paragraphs would be really small. But I like it now. Thanks for the read! It's a good album and should be checked out. |
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| Author: | ~Guest 82538 [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Ilwhyan's Shining review is a pretty good read. And it was about time someone bashed them bluntly. Nice one mate!
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| Author: | hakarl [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
androdion wrote: Ilwhyan's Shining review is a pretty good read. And it was about time someone bashed them bluntly. Nice one mate! Thanks. There's more to come, for sure! |
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| Author: | Liquid_Braino [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
I'm actually more partial to the recent Liturgy Renihilation review. Like a monstrous parody of Hunter Hunt-Hendrix's ego through an ANUS grinder. After reading that, if someone ever mentions "burst beats" to my face it will take all of my mental strength not to whack him with a tire iron. |
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| Author: | GuntherTheUndying [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
That review in a nutshell: we fight pretentiousness with more pretentiousness. Liturgy or whatever sucks, but reviews like that are annoying. |
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| Author: | BastardHead [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
I loved it, personally. I thought it did a great job illustrating just how fucking ridiculous that dude's attitude about his fairly by-the-numbers band is. |
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| Author: | Subrick [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
He just needed to add "like" every 5 words and it would've been golden. |
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| Author: | Liquid_Braino [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
I thought it was more of a tongue-in-cheek mockery than pretentious myself. I think for me it works because he stays in character throughout. Then again, I dig reading the weirder reviews out there, for better (in this case) or worse. |
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| Author: | Subrick [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Liquid_Braino wrote: I thought it was more of a tongue-in-cheek mockery than pretentious myself. We have a winner! Yeah, that's the point of the whole review; taking the piss out of Liturgy and their douche-to-end-all-douches singer through his own bloated sesquipedalian writing/talking style. |
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| Author: | Peroy [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
I can't comment on his blog fromthedustreturned, so I'll do it here instead: Big thumbs up to autothrall, who writes the most informative, constantly high quality metal-reviews I've ever read. I enjoy them a lot, even if my opinion differs occasionally from his, but I can always comprehend what makes him rate albums the way he does... |
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| Author: | kybernetic [ Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Ilwhyan wrote: To critique it with the same conventions and scales as contemporary music would be foolish (hence, I innovated and implemented a new scoring system of reversed polarity). Bwahahahaha! Classic.  Thumbs up for bashing that douche-to-end-all-douches to a tiny bloody pile of pulp. I'm sure his douchiness will transcend existence itself.
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| Author: | ~Guest 282118 [ Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
BastardHead about Ilwhyan's Liturgy review wrote: I loved it, personally. I thought it did a great job illustrating just how fucking ridiculous that dude's attitude about his fairly by-the-numbers band is. My thoughts exactly. Really, I even want that Hunter douchebag to send Ilwhyan a response just so he can post it here 
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| Author: | MalignantThrone [ Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Eh, I didn't like it much. Reviews should tell me about the music, not the stupid ideologies of the band members. There's a place for parody and satire, but when it's at the expense of solid description I don't want it. |
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| Author: | hakarl [ Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Thank you all for the feedback and critique. I wrote the review mainly for the purpose of having a good laugh, and hoped that those reading it would find it amusing. The musical analysis suffers from the style I chose, and I consciously decided not to bloat it further with meticulous description of the music. I think the album's nature warranted it - the album is definitely more a concept than a musical piece, so mostly just laughing at how ridiculous the concept is seemed appropriate. I didn't imagine for a second that I was writing an excellent review as such. So, I'm glad many of you enjoyed it, but I doubt I'll be writing anything like that soon. Liturgy is a bit of a special case. 
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| Author: | Zodijackyl [ Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
One of the best reviews I've read in a while: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... 74/Ilwhyan The first two paragraphs are a comprehensive summary with enough musical reference to point out exactly what I remember. The detailing is insightful, hitting the nail on the head on every point about the band's unfortunate tendencies and how they fail to play out the theme they're going for in an enjoyable way. I am impressed because it's more or less what I thought about the album/band, and the writing points out a lot of things that I didn't even think of. Bravo! --- This one lacked substance, but one thing stood out: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... /Metal_Jaw My main gripe with this album is that the songs themselves don't stick they way they should. It's basically just thrashing for thrash's sake and sometimes the band gets lost in themselves. The result: unmemorable songs. The review is laden with lame thrash-speak, praising it while saying very little about the music itself or the album/songs. This sentence tells me that it's a thrash fan who loves everything thrash and has very little to offer beyond talking about how an album thrashes, much like the stereotypical prog fan can talk purely about prog elements. It's tough to take much away from an overwhelmingly positive 85% review when there's this little caveat that the songs are unmemorable, with a suggestion that it's pretty aimless. What's the point of a review if it's going to gloss over a critical point? --- This one's a noodle-scratcher: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... etal_Grail Back then there was lots of repeat too, but an emotional thunderbolt gave that one a momentum that goes begging this time around. Remember, I’m comparing Jari to Jari here. Any other band and this would be outdoing themselves. Jari can do better. “Darkness and Frost” is a genuine first. An almost Jari filler. I said almost. You can tell by the desperate sampling. But “Time” is redemption time. Because remember what I just said about the emotional thunderbolt missing this time around? Well it’s back. And the interchange of clean and growl and choirs have never sounded so piercing and powerful. This is a whole sky of storm clouds. To me it just sounds like a jamming speed hump until the anguished chorus blast beats things back into the kind of beautiful misery only genius knows. It's a lame track-by-track that makes a lot of nonsensical analogies and has way too many sentence fragments. The entire review is just worshipping the guy and mentioning his name every few words, yet it says very little about the music. |
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| Author: | Zodijackyl [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... windir2245 Quote: Every now and then, I encounter an album that I listen to so frequently that it becomes iconic of a certain period in my life. Nelly’s rap album Country Grammar will always bring me back to Track and Field practice at my grade school. Slipknot’s Vol. 3 will always remind me of transitioning from middle school to high school. There could not possibly be a more ill-fitting way to open a review for this album than this 
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| Author: | Metal_Detector [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Chaos_Synopsis/Art_of_Killing/362169/Indoomstrial_metle Hate to be a whiner, but does anyone else hate it as much as do when people start reviews like these? Quote: Okay, so I got this album via email from the band itself (which was way cool of them. Thanks guys!) and now I'm writing a review of it. No shit? Is that what these things are? |
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| Author: | Empyreal [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Zodijackyl wrote: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Hirilorn/Legends_of_Evil_and_Eternal_Death/2444/windir2245 Quote: Every now and then, I encounter an album that I listen to so frequently that it becomes iconic of a certain period in my life. Nelly’s rap album Country Grammar will always bring me back to Track and Field practice at my grade school. Slipknot’s Vol. 3 will always remind me of transitioning from middle school to high school. There could not possibly be a more ill-fitting way to open a review for this album than this This is priceless.
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| Author: | Metantoine [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Metal_Detector wrote: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Chaos_Synopsis/Art_of_Killing/362169/Indoomstrial_metle Hate to be a whiner, but does anyone else hate it as much as do when people start reviews like these? Quote: Okay, so I got this album via email from the band itself (which was way cool of them. Thanks guys!) and now I'm writing a review of it. No shit? Is that what these things are? Yeah, his reviews are 3 pointers at best, they're really bad. Not sure I would approve a similar review. He's comparing his opinion with the the ones of the other reviewers and the musical description is quite low. |
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| Author: | Obscurum [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Evidently the band requested quite a few reviews for that album. Even I have gotten one (which I'll be doing very soon), and I'm hardly an experienced reviewer. |
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| Author: | BastardHead [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
That was a hard one to accept, admittedly. I mean, it's bad, but I guess it fulfills the criteria. Though my favorite line is actually Quote: This piece starts out with, "Son of Light" which I assume is a satirical song about Jesus. I find this offensive to my religion, but hey, I'm not going to be 'that guy'. Even stupid people can fumble their way to acceptability sometimes
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| Author: | Zodijackyl [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Reviewers that only stumble their way to acceptability could do themselves some good by getting feedback on their writing. |
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| Author: | kluseba [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 5:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
There are actually some mistakes in this new Chaos Synopsis review. Here comes the biggest one: "Son of Light" is not about Jesus or about religion but about the Brazilian serial killer Febrônio Ferreira de Mattos. His killings were inspired by a religious vision he had but this is a fact and not meant to criticize christianity or Jesus Christ at all. A small look on the lyrics would have helped before writing down that review. |
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| Author: | Obscurum [ Sat Feb 23, 2013 6:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
kluseba wrote: A small look on the lyrics would have helped before writing down that review. They even provide a digital booklet along with the music ... 
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| Author: | hakarl [ Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
kluseba wrote: There are actually some mistakes in this new Chaos Synopsis review. Here comes the biggest one: "Son of Light" is not about Jesus or about religion but about the Brazilian serial killer Febrônio Ferreira de Mattos. His killings were inspired by a religious vision he had but this is a fact and not meant to criticize christianity or Jesus Christ at all. A small look on the lyrics would have helped before writing down that review. That's minor compared to your calling it a death metal album. Really? I don't actually even think it qualifies as death/thrash. |
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| Author: | Napero [ Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
I don't have any particular (approved...) review in mind, but a few stupid and worn expressions are getting tedious, especially when it comes to reviewing black metal: using the word "horde" when discussing a band, "ritual" as a replacement word for song, etc. Pretentious bullcrap is getting old. Your heroes do not live in a crypt in a castle and sleep among the corpses, they eat a Big Mac once a week and fart loudly for comedic purposes while watching Die Hard on DVD and drinking beer. |
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| Author: | hakarl [ Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Napero wrote: I don't have any particular (approved...) review in mind, but a few stupid and worn expressions are getting tedious, especially when it comes to reviewing black metal: using the word "horde" when discussing a band, "ritual" as a replacement word for song, etc. Pretentious bullcrap is getting old. Your heroes do not live in a crypt in a castle and sleep among the corpses, they eat a Big Mac once a week and fart loudly for comedic purposes while watching Die Hard on DVD and drinking beer. Black metal bands' pages are full of that stuff. Horna's site, for example... Temple (homepage), craft (bio), rituals (live shows), spells (disco), icons (band), script (mail). |
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| Author: | Acrobat [ Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Subrick's review of the latest Darkthrone album wrote: A lot of this could be attributed to the heavy Celtic Frost influence their music contained, especially on Panzerfaust, which one could easily call a love letter to Tom G. Warrior's innovators of extreme metal through tracks like "Quintessence" 'Quintessence' sounds nothing like Celtic Frost, dammit! |
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| Author: | Razakel [ Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
Yeah, Triumphant Gleam and Beholding the Throne of Might are the To Mega Therion worshiping songs off Panzerfaust, not Quintessence. |
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| Author: | Metal_Detector [ Sat Mar 02, 2013 8:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread |
I'd like to give props to Empyreal for his excellent review of Stratovarius's Nemesis. This album has completely exceeded my modest expectations. I've been hard on Strato in the past, but Nemesis is just excellent and the fanfare is completely deserved. I'm seriously starting to think it's the best thing they've ever done. |
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