Petition to have "kvlt" wordfiltered in reviews the same way l-u-l-z (lulz) is? Even though I'd probably get hit with it a couple of times retroactively since I've probably used the word in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.

Edit: haha, it works! man that never gets old.

hedgehog humping

Pints of hairy hedgehog?

This Big Four thing is really being taken too far.

I've never heard of any of those... yeah, it really is being taken too far.

I imagine it's more like The Only 4 of Polish Technical/Progressive Thrash lol

But shoutout to bayern in general though; he's been writing a ton of interesting reviews lately. It's introduced me to a lot of neat, eclectic stuff. Cheers pal, keep up the good work

I get a chuckle out of these goofy "big 4 of x" descriptions, but it'd be a wholehearted laugh if people would throw a terrible band and say they're the Anthrax of the style.

I'll have to keep that in mind.


I deeply apologize if this has been asked already, but I dug through the thread somewhat and couldn't really find an answer.

How many reviews does an album have to have before it goes from "unpopular" to "popular?" I ask cos I want to try and have more inspiration for less-reviewed albums on the site and I want to know what the magic number is before deciding it doesn't fall under that category. 0 to....?

I'd say either zero or one. And one in the case that you find some dude who's obviously a big fan of the band (or somehow discovered them and supremely hates them or something) and reviewed multiple releases of theirs. Every once in a while you do get a band that's objectively very famous but isn't cared about at all in the underground metal scene and therefore garners few reviews (somehow the new Hellyeah album is still a virgin!) but other than weird cases where there's just a following for a certain band on M-A itself, I'd say if there are multiple reviews the band is typically fairly well known among fans of that genre anyway.

I misspoke when I said popularity. By popularity I meant quantity of reviews.

I had no interest in actually hearing this Ark Work Liturgy album, but the fairly recent review by that 'old school' fan had this line:



That's kinda interesting. Does the guitar sound like one of those old school bells or beep beep noises (assuming ISIS strap-on bombs are rigged with clocks)?

Wish that Ritual Chamber review would make it clear if there was only an unsettling atmosphere, or an unsettling AND disturbing atmosphere.

kluseba's review for the kings of dishonest bullshit, also called böhse onkelz, refers to many aspects which are simply right. You have lost your integrity completely when injuring other people gravely under the influence of drugs without accept responsibiluty for this action. Kevin, stop singing about uprightness and piss off.

Best kluseba review ever, no sarcasm. For a guy with so many iffy reviews that have been debated time and again in this thread, he nails absolutely everything in this one. 10% is too high a rating for the album, but the review gets a 100% from me.

That review is really good for the non-german users: he really gave me a good overview of the band, the attitude and the reasons of their fame.. good job!

Didn't SadEx's Fukk use to have an average rating of like 15%? Now it has 100%.

I wanted to make a correction in my review of Rwake's Rest album. It is actually their 5th (fifth. V) album.

No problem. What you did was fine, it went back to the queue and I had to approve it again (you get no points for that). Good reviews.

Thank You.

Good reviews, Rwake are a cool band. I remember liking Rest when it came out, but I'll have to revisit it because it's been a while.

If you see a mistake in your published review is it as simple as letting a mod know and them fixing it? I remember when I first looked at my Ace of Spades review there was a comma right in the middle of a yes (y,es) and it stuck out like a hairy zit. I really didn't want to have it sent through the queue again (which I did anyway) but I would try and read the rest of it and my eyes would just keep getting drawn back to it. I figured if I didn't correct it someone else might have brought it up in the oven fodder thread.

Yes, editing anything other than the score puts it back in the queue, but it's flagged as an edit so most of us just briefly check to see what was changed and send it right back through as long as the review looks good at a cursory glance. It's not often that a bad one slips through and a different mod catches it during an edit resubmission. So yeah, don't worry about sending edits back as long as you don't go overboard and flood the queue. It's not against the rules or anything but we're all notoriously cranky grognards.

@TrooperEd - I felt the same way. This was like a festering boil.

@dystopia - Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed them.

TrooperEd, if you could stop writing reviews for obvious bands like Sabbath, Motorhead, Slayer or Priest, I would be a very happy guy. Thanks

Aw, even Motorhead albums like Bastards and Overnight Sensation that barely have any reviews at all?

Addendum: I kind of want to change my name to CaptainObvious for this.

It's not a command or anything, it's just a suggestion to prevent staff suicide!

If you need a list of stuff deserving reviews, just let me know.

Actually a much better idea to prevent staff suicide would be for them to call this number:

1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours a day.

...Can I have that list of stuff to review? I've been making a list of stuff to review for the coming free time I'll have.

You could honestly just stick to all of Buckethead's discography with few complaints.

Review also Senmuth's discography. And Agathocles', too.

There are unreviewed and barely reviewed albums much more deserving of the attention, but it's better than reviewing Metallica.

A third or fourth review for a Drawn And Quartered album is better than popping the cherry of a Buckethead album with a black-on-white stick figure in the cover and a two-digit running number in the name.

Ah shit, now I'll have to make one!

I usually also like looking at when the last reviews were published. Like if an album only has like three reviews but the last one is 5+ years old, it could probably use a fresh opinion. Early Horna is a good example, and it's something I might get to myself soon.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... gue/396970

Pretty damn good review... certainly makes me want to check this out. This guy has a good understanding of how to frame his review in the context of the larger scene, other bands, etc. Very good writing.

Yeah good review for a super good album. I wanted to write one but there's no need anymore!

So the first review for the new Havok album is exactly the type of review I was worried it would attract. Glowing, cum-showering praise mostly because of how "woke" it is. "The lyrics are well written!" Yeah, a stanza like:

Political correctness! Free speech is seized!
Political correctness! Is a social disease!
Fuck P.C.!

Is fucking Shakespearean and really opened my mind to how toxic the left is! Oh but it's okay because Infowars also screams about how evil any type of authority is and how the news is all They Live style propaganda!

I dunno, maybe it's a great album (I'm listening now and I'm only a few songs in but it's honestly not bad on a musical level) but praising these hamfisted lyrics is just insane to me. It's not better than Megadeth, it's basically the exact same thing. It reminds me of when the Ghostbusters remake came out and I couldn't help but notice that opinions were fairly split, generally leaning negative, across the board with the exception of the LGBTQ community, who (at least from what I saw) seemed to almost universally adore it. It's like their general representation in media is always so nonexistent and/or so disrespectful that pretty much anything that doesn't treat them like a punchline and gives them their time in the spotlight is heralded as a triumph, regardless of whether or not it's a crappy movie. Somebody here (don't remember who) said "The LGBTQ community deserves better than Ghostbusters", and I feel the same way here. Hardline Teabaggers deserve better lyrics than Conformicide.

Most importantly though, anybody who says condescending bullshit like this should be fired into the sun:


Note that he's also from Denver so I'm absolutely not ruling out that he's a friend of the band doing really, really unsubtle promotion.

Haha that review is atrocious. What an absolute moron that reviewer sounds like - pro-tip; if you have to state out loud that you have a brain and know what you're talking about, the opposite is probably true.

The lyrics to the first song on that Havok album are so atrocious, dumb and vague while being both of those things that I can't imagine it could actually be any good. I'm sure the music is not that bad but I couldn't ever like something with those lyrics.

Reading some more of those lyrics and yeah, what fucking trash - just utter worthless swill. Wake up and think for yourself, now here's the most generic, bland lyrics that regurgitate all the crap you hear from dumb people who THINK they're politically conscious with no original point of view at all!

He could've spent a bit less than two out of six paragraphs on a history lesson, but then again, it's a rare case of a really well written history lesson in a review, so I can't honestly be mad at him for that.

On the topic of that Havok review; can we start calling them Trump metal now? Pretty please?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... erEd/21802

Kill me now! The weakest of the first 7 Maiden album is the best album of all time!!???