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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:45 pm 
 

I really don't know what to believe right now... Hopefully a mod will comment soon and provide some reasoning why those reviews got accepted.
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Felix 1666
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:19 pm
Posts: 121
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:47 pm 
 

Didn't know that we are writing already the 1st of April and that we can submit the most stupid reviews under the banner santa claus. But, haha, great joke! I was almost believing this nonsense wanted to be taken seriously.

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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 8300
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:50 pm 
 

Yeah, that seals it. I'm going with the "one of the higher ups is messing around" theory until evidence to the contrary is provided. Otherwise, there's no way such garbage would get through so quickly and in such great numbers without being given the guillotine.

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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 99
Location: Krak-town
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:51 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
Bitterman: The Second Coming

bitterman 2: Prepubescent Boogaloo. At least bitterman's reviews were somewhat funny in their inaccuracy, uh, cringiness and lack of reasoning. This, on the other hand, just makes me want to vomit blood straight from my fucking pupils.

if that's a mod messing around, I admire their flippance and ability to write intentionally bad reviews.
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MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3624
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:58 pm 
 

The fact that you guys seem to be looking to make a full two pages of discussion about these reviews means they're doing exactly what the author intended.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 99
Location: Krak-town
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:02 pm 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
The fact that you guys seem to be looking to make a full two pages of discussion about these reviews means they're doing exactly what the author intended.

If they're craving the attention so bad, why not just give it to them? They'll be forgotten soon anyway, just like bitterman before them.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 8300
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:03 pm 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
The fact that you guys seem to be looking to make a full two pages of discussion about these reviews means they're doing exactly what the author intended.

That is true, but you can't really expect aggressively shitty, inflammatory reviews to not get people talking.


Last edited by ~Guest 282118 on Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3624
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:04 pm 
 

meshigene wrote:
If they're craving the attention so bad, why not just give it to them? They'll be forgotten soon anyway, just like bitterman before them.

Firstly, this is clearly bitterman. Secondly, the first time he came around, he derailed discussion of reviews on MA for a solid year. I hardly think the phenomenon should be willingly repeated.
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Tanuki
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 425
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:12 pm 
 

That doesn't explain why three terribly-written, inaccurate reviews of three high-profile albums were all mod-approved in the space of minutes.

E: And they're all gone. Plot thickens, etc.


Last edited by Tanuki on Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 99
Location: Krak-town
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:12 pm 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
Firstly, this is clearly bitterman.

How the mighty have fallen. Dude's flame burned out, and all that's left of it is a bunch of stinky embers.
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Felix 1666
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:19 pm
Posts: 121
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:15 pm 
 

Tomorrow I will submit 0% reviews for "The Number of the Beast", "Painkiller", "Scream Bloody Gore", "In Rock" and "The Legacy". You have been warned.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5998
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:24 pm 
 

Turns out he was a previously banned user and a self-proclaimed 4chan/ANUS troll (and, no, it wasn't bitterman). Even without those factors in consideration, these were troll reviews. It's sometimes easy for mods to forget to watch out for disingenuous reviews (ie. troll reviews) because they can be so rare and our main focus is to ensure that reviews are written well and spend most of the time describing the music of the album. It happens to all of us where we may not catch that. I've had it happen to me, especially for albums I didn't know all too well. In any case, this situation has been handled. Thank you guys for (inadvertently) bringing it to our attention.
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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:29 pm 
 

Thank you for rejecting them, sir.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 8300
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:36 pm 
 

Nothing quite like a Mountain Man to take out the trash :thumbsup:

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 11196
Location: Ob der Enns, Austria
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:03 am 
 

Dembo wrote:
Probably a moderator trolling at this point. And even if not, it's fucked up since stuff like that may lower the visitors impression of the site quite substantially, when accepted reviews have the quality of Youtube comments.

Request: keep mod-trolling to April 1st instead of turning the best site on the planet into a joke. Frankly, it's a bit disrespectful to serious contributors such as those who make an effort writing reviews.

Request: give the mods time to deal with it and comment before jumping to conclusions. Frankly, it's a bit disrespectful to moderators such as those who aren't in the habit of randomly messing with people through power abuse.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35187
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 10:58 am 
 

Tanuki's reviews are really impressive. He is concise and well-written and has a personality, with some funny parts and some interesting analyses in every review... pretty much all the ones I've read from him describe the music super well.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... uki/398925

That makes me actually want to try this band.

This one, however, is not good: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... ata/334957
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:09 am 
 

High quality newbie for sure! I read some of his stuff despite that he's not really reviewing what I usually follow and he's great. His Hexen, Razorwyre and Speedtrap reviews are cool. I like his Related Listening sections too, good idea.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... uki/398925
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... uki/398925
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11421
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:19 am 
 

Man, Tony's post just made me feel old as fuck. It feels like only yesterday that I was super into Speedtrap. I listened to Powerdose so much, but other than sometimes putting it on I guess I stopped thinking about the band outside the realm of that one album because the existence of a "new" second album that came out way back in 2015, plus the fact that they apparently already broke up, went completely under my radar. Definitely checking out the sophomore. If it's as awesome as the first album, I'll be quite pleased.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:23 am 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
Man, Tony's post just made me feel old as fuck. It feels like only yesterday that I was super into Speedtrap. I listened to Powerdose so much, but other than sometimes putting it on I guess I stopped thinking about the band outside the realm of that one album because the existence of a "new" second album that came out way back in 2015, plus the fact that they apparently already broke up, went completely under my radar. Definitely checking out the sophomore. If it's as awesome as the first album, I'll be quite pleased.

Their last one is pretty legit! 2 of the members are in Hard Action (hard rock) and 1 is in Initiated (Danzig metal) and both are interesting.

P.S. yeah you're old af.
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Tanuki
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 425
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:51 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Tanuki's reviews are really impressive. He is concise and well-written and has a personality, with some funny parts and some interesting analyses in every review... pretty much all the ones I've read from him describe the music super well.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... uki/398925

That makes me actually want to try this band.

Metantoine wrote:
High quality newbie for sure! I read some of his stuff despite that he's not really reviewing what I usually follow and he's great. His Hexen, Razorwyre and Speedtrap reviews are cool. I like his Related Listening sections too, good idea.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... uki/398925
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... uki/398925

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the support

Hope you enjoy Whispered if you give them a listen, Empyreal, and Batman, if you liked Powerdose I bet you'll dig Straight Shooter :thumbsup:

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5861
Location: 717
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:10 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:



Quote:
this is objectively a flawless album.


:nono: :snipe:
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 8300
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:19 pm 
 

Reading that made me wish I could submit a review simply saying "tanabata is an idiot" and leave it at that. I haven't even heard that album but Jesus Christ, that kind of writing is the pits.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:47 pm 
 

It was cringey and passive aggressive enough as it is, but once he namedropped the vocalist and I realized his name is fucking Szymon I swore off ever hearing the band or reading another word about them.

Unforgivable.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35187
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 8:07 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
It was cringey and passive aggressive enough as it is, but once he namedropped the vocalist and I realized his name is fucking Szymon I swore off ever hearing the band or reading another word about them.

Unforgivable.


Whatever it takes to get people to avoid trite garbage like Pathfinder. ;)
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Black Diamond
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:41 am
Posts: 245
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:30 pm 
 

Perhaps a minuscule number of albums in all of metal warrant such praise in a review or elsewhere, but to say in the beginning of a review that x album is "a masterpiece" and then at the end that it's "one of humanity's greatest musical achievements" smacks of colossal desperation.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... ata/334957

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zeingard
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:49 pm
Posts: 659
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:35 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
It was cringey and passive aggressive enough as it is, but once he namedropped the vocalist and I realized his name is fucking Szymon I swore off ever hearing the band or reading another word about them.

Unforgivable.


Whatever it takes to get people to avoid trite garbage like Pathfinder. ;)


But they have dragons in their band logo. You can't fault people for not immediately wanting to listen to what will obviously be the most badass metal ever.

Empyreal wrote:
Tanuki's reviews are really impressive. He is concise and well-written and has a personality, with some funny parts and some interesting analyses in every review... pretty much all the ones I've read from him describe the music super well.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... uki/398925


I am not a fan of weeaboo metal in the slightest (with Whispered being one of the most embarrassingly bad of an already terrible subgenre) but the review wasn't bad. A lot of awkward sentences though that could work with a little more proof-reading and editing. The standout track/recommendations thing glued onto the end is pointless but that's always been a personal nitpick.
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11421
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:48 pm 
 

I really like Pathfinder. There are very few bands I can think of that could truly be described as having the train-wreck effect on me, but Pathfinder are definitely one of them. A great example of outsider art in heavy/power metal without being a really weirdo oddball band like Realmbuilder or something.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35187
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 12:39 am 
 

It just sounds like really bad Rhapsody imitation to me - like unusually bad, actually. There's just no good songwriting used there at all.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7730
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 1:52 am 
 

For my money, Pathfinder had the same effect that Lost Horizon had--I heard the opening notes and gasped with glee! But then the songwriting proceeded to do absolutely nothing for me, and I sighed, disappointed.
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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 2:27 am 
 

Lost Horizon is at least competent and professional. Pathfinder is an absolute hot mess trainwreck of a band.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35187
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:47 am 
 

Woolie_Wool wrote:
Lost Horizon is at least competent and professional. Pathfinder is an absolute hot mess trainwreck of a band.


Yeah I get it if you don't like Lost Horizon, but comparing them to Pathfinder is a bit much I think.
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Thumbman
Big Cube

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4473
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 10:31 am 
 

I generally loathe Europower with a passion, but actually really dug everything I've heard from Lost Horizon.
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11421
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 11:08 am 
 

I dunno, I don't really listen to that kind of frilly europower stuff, so when I heard Pathfinder I thought it was just the most ridiculously incoherent, overindulgent over the top nonsense it was kind of fascinating. I mean, it's super challenging to just to make it through a single ten minute track, let alone that whole album, but man, what a bunch of supremely silly shit.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 1988
Location: Woodstock, IL
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:31 pm 
 

Haha, thanks Empyreal! I also cannot stand that DSO album. I tried it multiple times, while working out, while driving, in the dark, etc. I might have been able to make it from start to finish once, but it was so fucking boring and the only thing it really did for me was make me tired :boring:
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35187
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:38 pm 
 

Yeah, I tried it several times and waited a while between each time to make sure I wasn't just reacting to hype or something. I didn't expect to give it that low of a score, but honestly I liked it less every time.
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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:12 pm 
 

I was slightly disappointed with it as well, since I liked Paracletus, and I was hoping that they'd continue developing in that style. They went for all-out intensity, fury and chaos instead, which I admire, but it isn't a very memorable listening experience, and it doesn't really invite me to revisit it.

Thankfully, there's a French band called VI, who have an album called De Praestigiis Angelorum, which is pretty much what I looked forward to hearing in a new DsO record. It's an excellent black metal record, and unlike DsO, they used a real drummer, too.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:01 am 
 

I'm sure I have mentioned this before, but I wish I could automatically reject all reviews of black metal albums that make the same off the cuff use of the word "kvlt" as a sort of excuse as to why the album sucks. "It's not for the kvlt crowd / you just don't understand it" et al.
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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:12 am 
 

Did you ask HB if he could do something about it? :lol:
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35187
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:25 am 
 

That review is pretty worthless... more thin-skinned metal fans spending way too much time bitching about how other people feel about stuff they like. I think that basically disqualifies a review altogether. People shouldn't decry Dimmu for being commercial sell-outs, they should decry them for being unlistenable trash.

Did they really cover "Perfect Strangers"? How awful that must sound. :lol:
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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:28 am 
 

As far as I remember "Perfect Strangers" is one of the better songs on that album.
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