Back to what I said about Urgehal, I totally overlooked this post until now, from his official page.

THE FINAL CHAPTER IS UPON US:

“Trondr Nefas left us all in May 2012. For URGEHAL this meant the loss of our great friend and brother in arms. Therefore it is a very special announcement for us remaining members to tell you that the final URGEHAL album is now being recorded.

“We have decided to finish this last album in honour of our dear friend and to mark the end of URGEHAL. Trondr was looking much forward to enter the studio once again and we had already done all demo recordings for the whole album before his death.

“Nothing else remains to be done but to finish what Trondr and we had already started together. We owe this to him and his memory".

“Drums and guitars were recorded earlier this year and in October we entered the studio for the first vocal session of many. The songs will be sung by several close friends of Trondr Nefas and the band. We will reveal those names in due time.”

He's completely off his rocker. His Thin Lizzy reviews are totally bonkers; he gave Phil Lynott's solo debut a higher score than any Lizzy album but describes it as too scattershot to be taken very seriously, saying it's an interesting curio for die-hards but not essential.

Then Maiden...he gave Somewhere in Time a 71 and No Prayer for the Dying a 100?

Even this guy would give Somewhere in Time a 90 something

WOW. How did I miss this until now. That is something to look forward to. I wonder if any of Trondr's demo tracks will be preserved for the final article.

One of the most useless reviewer on the site, review some cool stuff for fuck's sake, no one is interested in reading a new review of Iron Maiden. FUCK.

Yeah I was going to talk about the Somewhere in Time review. I remember when that album cane out and the flack that it got in all the metal mags for the guitar synths. Hindsight makes me think that there was no fallout from the guitar synths and that the mags were making shit up. His review sounds like something that came from Hit Parader at the time. Somewhere in Time is possibly my favorite Maiden album and has been ever since it came out.



Well I was trying to be nice about it but yeah Tony, you say what we all feel. Not that I can be too critical of another reviewer since I know I have to work on my skills but, yeah, he should try to do some reviews outside the box rather than the same ol' greatest hits reviews.

I'll give The Mantle a shot. YEAHHHH UNDERRATED ALBUM OH MAN. needs more reviews if you ask me. especially gushing flawless ones.

How does it compare to Ashes Against the Grain? That was my introduction to Agalloch; really impressed at first but the novelty seemed to wear off pretty quickly...I mostly just listen to those two long tracks with the long guitar jams at the end.

I was mostly kidding, mainly because that album is infamous for it's ridiculous amount of fanboy reviews. But, that being said, I think it's the most complete Agalloch album, and the one less burdened by a meandering vision - the most focused by far. I can come back to it most times and find it very enjoyable.

What the fuck is this?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... 463/SLlMER

Can anyone decipher the first two paragraphs for me please?! I'll pay you if you can.

Honestly, I lost interest halfway through the first paragraph. Anyone else?

He doesn't usually care about reviews, but is so annoyed about how overhyped it is he's writing one anyway, and wants to deconstruct it with just as much examination as various philosophers tried to give an overarching philosophical position about absolutely everything he assumes that they heard Esoteric records and thought that they could do it to. Something about how they're watering down funeral doom, and he's comparing that to Philosophy because he wants to appear clever. Big deal, we all read philosophy from time to time dude.

Review didn't need to start until the third paragraph, and it's a pretty dull review to read. What's hilarious is for all that BS about he doesn't even go into much detail given his previous ramblings about "I am going to examine it as thoroughly as Heidegger's "What Is A Thing?", Descartes' "Discourse on the Method", and Kant's "A Critique of Pure Reason" he still doesn't even write more than a paragraph about the music.

What an arse.

I thought the "higher than thou" stance on pseudo-babbling reviews was a dead thing. Apparently it isn't. I especially agree with the part you wrote about not giving much detail in the end and writing only one paragraph about the music. That and the "what an arse" thing as well. Clearly we can all agree on that part.

The meandering vision is literally the exact reason Mantle is my least favorite of theirs, so that was an interesting comment to read. It's easily their most thematically incoherent.

Great premier I'll tell you, and it perfectly describes the album. Very well written and a pleasure to read.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... Inevitable

Review not found?

Wait, what?!

That's super weird, the guy posted the review from his website here and then deleted it? Don't know what that was all about. Anyway, I'll leave the original one here then, I really enjoyed it.

http://towardstheinevitable.com/pestifer/#comments

It's in the queue again because he did some edits.

Nice review on the Tjolgtjar album, Tony! You found three different ways to spell the band name!

"Because of the fact that the band is notably old and uses keyboards, we cannot call it a copycat or goth fags. You know what I am trying to convey! Use of keyboards has become a trend in black metal. Believe me, it's not 'cool'."

It's a review of Mystic Circle.

Dammit, Liquid_Braino! Way to be late to the party!

Thanks haha, I feel I'm a bit rusty, not my best, I'll try to work on it a bit more later. God, the name is so weird.

Penis Metal. Never forget!


http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... uid_Braino

Make it so.

Every review just bolsters our stance against "Time I"!

Wintersun is Time. Penis Metal is timeless.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... 33/kluseba

LOL. I mean, I do think the album is kind of underrated but come on!

And I know it was coming since I talk to him often but good Agalloch review by dystopia! Fanboy frustration! http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... /dystopia4

Haha, thanks Tony but it seems you have accidentally shared Kluseba's silly St. Anger review a second time. And yeah, I'll fully admit that my review was a rant by a disgruntled fanboy.

That was a great review. I've heard what you say about 'fanboys listening what they want to' as I didn't hear any space like atmosphere or sound on the album at all but rabid fans I know did. They probably haven't heard about Arcturus, for example.

You are all at my mercy now.

Easy there, Tiger. You are at the mercy of the Hazingmaster General yourself for the time being, New Guy [tm].

Wow, congratulations. You're where I want to be.

Believe me, you don't want to! I was super excited too, but lemme tell ya, the burnout comes quick and it comes fierce.

Not that that'll be an issue for Diamhea, of course.

*cracks whip*

I'm just excited that I finally get to haze someone.

Congrats Diamhea

On a side note, it looks like that new Timo Tolkki album is a real winner. Thank Odin I'll never hear a note from it.

This reminds me of when M. Night Shyamalan put out The Last Airbender and everyone seemed suddenly surprised he'd made a bad movie. Timo Tolkki has sucked for over a decade now. I guess that Symfonia album got some pretty low reviews too though.

But yeah, congrats Diamhea.

This review is pretty silly: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... _the_Woods

Better than the awful 5% one from before, but "defending" a classic like NSV from a couple of whack jobs on a website who rated it low and called it overrated is kind of a strange thing to do - it already has a place in history and the vast majority of metalheads wouldn't doubt that.

Whoa...missed that first time I looked tonight. Must've had a senior moment. Congrats Diamhea. You rightly deserve it!

Orange diarrhea? Too much Kraft dinner perhaps?

I LOVE

So, Jophelerx's Dragonforce reviews are sort of interesting reads from the vantage point of a longtime fan as opposed to a forced naysayer, but I think he should have spent more time with Ultra Beatdown! So much to say about the other three, and then it's almost like he struggled to piece three paragraphs together for the last one.

Metal_Thrasher90's oppression of well known or "icon" releases continues. Today? Master of Puppets - 59%

Sort of wrote it in a rush, I'll try to rewrite it when I get time. It's harder to say as much about what I don't like as what I do like.

EDIT: Added some content. Hopefully it's a little more interesting now.

Would be cool if people could stop reviewing Metallica. There's like 100000 bands without reviews that are interesting, we don't fucking need new reviews for Ride the Lightning or ...And Justice for All. Waste of bandwith!