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PorcupineOfDoom
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:52 pm
Posts: 161
Location: Scotland
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 12:15 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
What an awful Amon Amarth review by Writhingchaos.


I thought that it was just the inner fanboy in me that hated reading that ;) He makes a valid point in that the songs do generally following the same structure and I can understand why some would find it a bit samey, but I'm not sure I can concede to his other arguments. The riffs most certainly aren't "barely metal", and the fact that he laments them for lacking any kind of power just sounds off to me. The riffs are like thunder across the entirety of WOoOS, to me at least that argument sounds like nonsense. Then at the end of the review he seems to contradict himself by saying that "nowadays metal fans simply want to mindlessly jump/mosh to anything and everything brutal/heavy" after having dismissed the band for a lack of that already.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 12:41 pm 
 

I don't even like Amon Amarth, they're okay I guess. That review is just very cringy is all.

Writhingchaos has released a slew of reviews in a relatively short time, and while that is the only one I've read, if that's his most recent one it must also be one of the better ones. He should most definitely take some time to improve his writing and polishing his work, because he's blatantly conflicted about what he wants to say, and he doesn't have the skill to say it aptly or eloquently.

There's a pattern I've seen quite a bit here by newer reviewers who want to try their hand at writing something quite vitriolic: writer makes a hyperbolic, spiteful statement about the music, and then follows it with a more moderate statement that backpedals the original one. Ex. this shit is absolutely fucking terrible and not even metal! Okay, maybe it's not only pretty mediocre and it's still metal, but still! I recognise it because I've done the same as a newbie reviewer.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 1:01 pm 
 

I'd probably give that album a 65-70 if I was to review it now, I think my score was too harsh. I do think it's pretty boring anyway though and I've never been much for their later material. But that's just because my own personal tastes have shifted away from that style of commercial metal these days.

That review is pretty much garbage. Ilwhyan nailed it - too much hyperbole not followed through with, and it's because they realize the statement is dumb and they shouldn't have written it. I remember doing that too. The claims that he doesn't get why the band is popular are bogus too. Come the fuck on, it's obvious to deaf people why AA is fucking popular, don't bullshit me.

He also goes on and on with stuff like:

Quote:
What pisses me off the most is that now, because of their widespread popularity (for reasons completely beyond my understanding) most metal newbies will most-probably end up hearing Amon Amarth before the better (and more underrated) Gothenburg bands and subsequently think they know all about melodeath. Sheesh. Not good. And this is one of their best albums?? Christ on a fucking pogo stick, I don’t think I even want to know what their other albums sound like. No thanks.


That "pisses you off," really? I doubt it affects you as much as you're saying. He also keeps saying there are "loads of better melodeath bands" and what not, but offers no examples. And that really is not the best thing to say in a review even if you do have examples - it's usually the product of listening to hype too much. It's the "oh, all these bands I like are better, because I raised my expectations to stratospheric levels mostly based on the rosy-glasses nostalgia I have from the memories of the first times I heard the bands I do actually love." These kinds of reviews don't understand that your perception and standards get higher as you hear more music.
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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 265
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 10:19 pm 
 

If you look at his other reviews you'll see that he has absolutely no taste whatsoever. Seems like a case of being contrarian for the sake of some ill-sought 'credibility'; you're not fooling anybody giving one random mediocre Melodeath band a 30% when you slather praise on other similarly mediocre or garbage Melodeath bands in the rest of your oeuvre.

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2Eagle333
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:24 am
Posts: 275
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:15 am 
 

PorcupineOfDoom wrote:
The riffs are like thunder across the entirety of WOoOS, to me at least that argument sounds like nonsense.

To be fair, they might be referring to that in terms of heavy metal generally and the types of riffs that Amon Amarth try to play, which are usually a lot harsher elsewhere. That said, they do seem to review just about everything positively, so it is a bit of a strange blip.

Still, though, that review itself seems like it would be more appropriate for another of their albums, while 'With Oden on our Side' does at least aim for something slightly more stream-lined or distinct. While it's still a bit tame in some ways, in which context appeal to the Vikings is a bit strange - people rarely like Amon Amarth for any point that they may or may not be trying to make, which might seem restricting more than anything -, it does nonetheless have some valid points as regards Amon Amarth's albums generally. It does feel a bit like it would be more appropriate a review in the mid-2000s as well compared to now. This, though:

Quote:
Seriously its bands and albums like these that prove every halfwit metal-hater out there claiming that “Man, metal is boring as fuck” right at the end of the day because that’s exactly what it is.


Is a bit weirdly phrased. Metal is boring generally because there's one metal band which is boring? Generally, nobody tends to assert that there are no boring bands classified as 'metal.'

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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 8:59 pm 
 

Holy hell, I'm trying to pen down something for an album that I do have things to say about, but nothing is coming to me. I'd really like to be a more productive reviewer, but it takes a fucking alignment of the stars to get my creative juices flowing :-( I have only written, like, a dozen reviews (plus a bunch of unfinished drafts) in the span of a year and a half.

Any advice for a frustrated novice, guys?

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
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Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:18 pm 
 

Don't immediately try and put your thoughts to screen - don't just sit in front of the screen waiting for inspiration to hit. Play the album some more, play it over in your head, and chew over what you think of the album. By thinking of the album rather than what you are going to write about the album, your opinions come through much more naturally.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:36 pm 
 

Problem is, that's exactly what I've been doing. I'm trying to review Noneuclid's The Crawling Chaos, and I'm pretty thoroughly familiar with it by now. I know the ins and outs of the thing, but for some bloody reason, I can't make a coherent sentence out of them. It's very irksome.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:44 pm 
 

Oof. I encounter that exact problem a lot - often when I have too much to say from many repeated listens and a lot of mental analysis of the album (thinking about an album too much is counterproductive as well.) If so, leave the album for a while and come back to it in a week or so (listening to completely different types of metal during this time helps.) When you come back to it your head should be a bit clearer which can help putting your thoughts on to the page. It is a lengthy workaround but it pretty much always works for me.
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ThrashIsCertain92
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Jan 04, 2016 3:38 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:14 pm 
 

I'm in a similar situation. I have a ton of unfinished drafts, but inspiration to finish them comes slowly, or I cannot find much to say even if I have listened to the album a million times.

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:34 am 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Holy hell, I'm trying to pen down something for an album that I do have things to say about, but nothing is coming to me. I'd really like to be a more productive reviewer, but it takes a fucking alignment of the stars to get my creative juices flowing :-( I have only written, like, a dozen reviews (plus a bunch of unfinished drafts) in the span of a year and a half.

Any advice for a frustrated novice, guys?

Yes, I have advice.

1.) Read.
2.) Write.

I remember the struggle the first few years writing reviews. It's much simpler now to hammer something out. Just read, write, practice, practice, practice. It will come in time.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 7614
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2016 3:17 pm 
 

Whenever I want to work on a new review, I just write down what I already know how to describe at first. Eventually I'll try to make a little cohesive thing of it and there it is. Sharing reviews with people for feedback or whatnot also helps. Thanks Jophelerx and Acrobat. :metal:

Having that said, I've been working on this review for Mental Home's Vale for a month now or so and got seriously stuck. D:

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2016 4:10 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Problem is, that's exactly what I've been doing. I'm trying to review Noneuclid's The Crawling Chaos, and I'm pretty thoroughly familiar with it by now. I know the ins and outs of the thing, but for some bloody reason, I can't make a coherent sentence out of them. It's very irksome.


Just write down your thoughts on it. It'll be messy at first but don't worry about producing a perfect review right away. Just get your thoughts out and organize them afterward. I think the biggest problem younger writers face is that they won't even write a thing down unless they think it looks like polished and clean perfection right out of the gate. But a lot of writing is sloppiness followed by revision. Thoughts come easier when you're already writing as opposed to thinking about writing.

N_S is overcomplicating it - it usually doesn't have to do with listening to an album more or anything like that. Gunther is more spot on.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2016 7:44 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Just write down your thoughts on it. It'll be messy at first but don't worry about producing a perfect review right away. Just get your thoughts out and organize them afterward. I think the biggest problem younger writers face is that they won't even write a thing down unless they think it looks like polished and clean perfection right out of the gate. But a lot of writing is sloppiness followed by revision. Thoughts come easier when you're already writing as opposed to thinking about writing.

This is what I've been doing. I'm in my classroom during downtime with no students and I take out a little notebook and jot notes. Back from 2011-2013 I was able to churn them out but after years of not doing anything I've got no spark. My notes are messy, real messy. Sometimes I just write 1 word to describe one aspect of it. If that's all I got right now then I'll settle for that until I have the drive, motivation, and mind to fully flesh out my thoughts.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2016 7:49 pm 
 

Yeah I often have a little Moleskin notebook with me and take notes of stuff including album reviews, lists, concerts in the metro or when I do some boring sub teaching haha. Sometimes it's just good to classify your thoughts before writing the actual text on your PC.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2016 12:07 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
a lot of writing is sloppiness followed by revision. Thoughts come easier when you're already writing as opposed to thinking about writing.

N_S is overcomplicating it - it usually doesn't have to do with listening to an album more or anything like that. Gunther is more spot on.

Seconding all of this.

Knowing the album backwards and forwards doesn't necessesarily mean you're going to have a whole lot to say about it. I liked OzzyApu's mentioning writing down like one word, or one phrase, or something. I just did a lot of that with the Velnias review I'm wrapping up. There was so much scratched out shit on my note pages. Whole pages in my notebook got progressively more and more mangled as I went, like almost illegibly scrawled on. It's not a particularly good ablum, and it took me a long time to work out just how I wanted to explain what I didn't like about it without defaulting to shit talking. It was a really good experience to wrestle with an elusive opinion until I got it hammered into shape, but it really wasn't pretty. It's gonna be three-ish paragraphs -- nothing at all like the Grave Miasma one I'm almost done with. The formats are nothing alike, and that's because, like Empyreal said, thoughts come easier once you're under way because you actually have something to work with at that point.

You can start with a word salad list of adjectives and random thoughts that comes to mind, and don't be afraid to go with the stream of consciousness style of "a .. something something .. kind of album that makes me think of a bunch of shit occasionally thematically coherent something .. yadda. At one point it reminded me of something I saw as a kid" Slop that shit all over your page and then just keep picking away at it. It's probably going to feel a lot more like carving than painting (or chopping rather than cooking, maybe) but that's what a couple beers and some time outside is for.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2016 12:42 am 
 

Oi, guys, thanks a lot for all of the advice. Really appreciate. I do guess that I'm a bit guilty of wanting things to come out clean and perfect right out of the gate, ha. I'll work on that, for sure :thumbsup:

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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2016 4:36 pm 
 

Has Napalm gone full Zodijackyl on his single reviews?
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:23 pm 
 

Kudos to stainedclass2112 for his Buckethead reviews. I can't imagine doing that many reviews for an instrumental project like this!
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stainedclass2112
Veteran

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 11:52 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Kudos to stainedclass2112 for his Buckethead reviews. I can't imagine doing that many reviews for an instrumental project like this!

Thanks! :) Much appreciated dude! I'll get them all eventually.
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ThrashIsCertain92
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Jan 04, 2016 3:38 pm
Posts: 11
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 9:02 pm 
 

I have a question for those who mod reviews - if someone edits an old review, do you have to re-read the entire thing, or does it show you/highlight what changes were made? I ask because I want to make a small edit an old review but I know it could take some time to read an entire review over again.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2016 5:57 am 
 

It does the wikipedia thing where we can just compare the two and quickly see what was changed.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
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Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 12:16 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
It does the wikipedia thing where we can just compare the two and quickly see what was changed.

So I can't just rewrite my shitty reviews from scratch and say "puntcation lol"? Dammit!
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 3:48 am 
 

Neither the feature nor the process is setup up to look at a prior version unless we decide we need to. If you're going to rewrite/resubmit old reviews, feel free to go ahead and let someone know and they'll do the needful and give it a quick look. If you're good enough to have accepted reviews and respectfully ask a question, that's enough to merit asking. :lol:

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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 5:52 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Kudos to stainedclass2112 for his Buckethead reviews. I can't imagine doing that many reviews for an instrumental project like this!


Yes, well done. When I was blog writing years ago I wrote a full guide to Buckethead (before the Pikes started) ranking each of his records. That took forever and yes, 30 records into it, it gets hard to review instrumentals. Thankfully he's so diverse that at least there's not 200 of the same style. I've often thought about trying to review all of them myself here but then I realize I don't even have the time to write one. :). Keep it going man, let's see them all done! That would be awesome.
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Tzitzis
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2014 1:13 pm
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Location: Greece
PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 4:16 pm 
 

Hi guys! I've had problem with capitalising song titles/ bands/ albums recently. I've written some reviews and it's the first time I had that problem. So I seek your help in order to see what I do wrong (at last) cause I tried changing again and again without success. Here is a sample:

To give you a blueprint of most songs on the record I am going to say this; it's like early 80's Judas Priest mixed with Queensryche (1984-1987 era) and some Fifth Angel maybe. US power metal influenced generally I would say. I can feel I'm on 80's USA when I hear this record (maybe some Motley Crue influences too?). The band was in USA at the time for some years, so they might got affected by the music being played there. One can easily detect these musical influences in the songs "like thunder, "I'm on fire, "fury", "vision" and "chainsaw" (the intro is like "rapid fire" of Judas Priest). The strongest numbers here in my humble opinion are "I'm on fire" and "fury".

So apparently this is not acceptable. So what is wrong here so I can correct it and don't do it ever again?

Thanks in advance!

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 6:34 pm 
 

theunrelentingattack wrote:
Yes, well done. When I was blog writing years ago I wrote a full guide to Buckethead (before the Pikes started) ranking each of his records. That took forever and yes, 30 records into it, it gets hard to review instrumentals. Thankfully he's so diverse that at least there's not 200 of the same style. I've often thought about trying to review all of them myself here but then I realize I don't even have the time to write one. :). Keep it going man, let's see them all done! That would be awesome.

Thanks a bunch! I'm glad somebody is enjoying them :-D I'm a huuuge Buckethead fan, so I more than know my way around his stuff. I'll get all of them done eventually, this review challenge was the perfect excuse for me to take out a decent amount of Pikes. I hope my reviews can serve to help out somebody who has no idea which Big B albums to check out first. If those write-ups you did still are around, I'd love to read them.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 9:12 pm 
 

Tzitzis, you need to properly capitalize track names. Not sure why you are having such a hard time, I know I've accepted your work in the past.

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
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Location: over yon hill
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 1:23 pm 
 

Wanted to shout out to batman for reviewing Trogolodyte as I fucking love that band and his review is pretty spot on. And yes batman, they are ridiculously awesome live. One of the better bands I've seen play in the past six months or so.
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 11:11 pm 
 

Thanks dude! I'm honestly kind of shocked that band isn't more hyped.
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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 7:25 am 
 

Me too honestly. But they had a pretty good turnout when they played here so people do know them. The guys are super awesome too which was great. I just remember the singer came out in the crowd and was fucking around while they were playing and he grabbed me and shoved the mic in my face and we proceeded to do the chorus for one of the songs. It was a good time.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 11:15 am 
 

Kind of an odd review by zeingard for that Dawnbringer EP. I thought the EP was pretty good myself, but honestly I don't get why the "10 people who like this band" thing is supposed to be such a damning indictment. It's metal - it's doubtful many bands we talk about here are ever going to be super popular.
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hells_unicorn
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 2:38 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Kind of an odd review by zeingard for that Dawnbringer EP. I thought the EP was pretty good myself, but honestly I don't get why the "10 people who like this band" thing is supposed to be such a damning indictment. It's metal - it's doubtful many bands we talk about here are ever going to be super popular.


Honestly, one of the things that has kinda kept me from enjoying reviews from zeingard and a few others is pointless snarky statements like that one. I think I've been guilty of it myself in the past, but I've tried to limit how much I attack a band's audience unless it's absolutely relevant to the band's output. I may end up reviewing the latest Dawnbringer EP myself at some point soon, and my read on it is, as usual with bands that he and I have both reviewed, the complete opposite of his.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 2:57 pm 
 

Yeah, I've long since stopped putting in snide quips at perceived audience members based on taste in my reviews. There's no real way to stereotype people based on that sort of thing, on what music they like or don't like.
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zeingard
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:49 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 8:36 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Kind of an odd review by zeingard for that Dawnbringer EP. I thought the EP was pretty good myself, but honestly I don't get why the "10 people who like this band" thing is supposed to be such a damning indictment. It's metal - it's doubtful many bands we talk about here are ever going to be super popular.


It was a joke, mostly based on the fact that I almost never hear about Dawnbringer ever. The first and last time they were brought up was when people got a little too excited about 'Into the Lair of the Sungod' (an album I should probably try to revisit at some point, but I will probably forget...) until I found this EP floating around in a lump of bandcamp links I have bookmarked.

It is not an indictment so few people like/remember the band, but that they will find a way to like the EP despite having no redeeming features. That complaint could be leveled at many fans of nearly every shade of media though.
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Sepulchrave
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:44 pm 
 

Was reading MutantClannfear's review of Aria of Vernal Tombs and
Quote:
baroque-tinged melodies

UUUGGGHHHhhhhhhhhhhh......

Otherwise, OK review, though I don't agree with it. I like how you compared the music to standing inside an empty ruin of a church and making noise (though personally I would spend 44 minutes doing so inside one but different strokes and whatnot). :D
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Metantoine
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:48 pm 
 

What's wrong with using "baroque" as a descriptor? It's pretty accurate.
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stainedclass2112
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:52 pm 
 

I've noticed some people having these weird aversions to certain words and terms when it comes to reviewing, I remember some dude in particular complaining about people using the term "one", like in "when one listens to this album..." and so on. What a weird thing to get pissed off about. :lol:
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iamntbatman
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:40 pm 
 

I liked that review well enough, as I think he does a pretty good job of describing what it sounds like, but his reaction to what the band has made is simply wrong. Does every riff on the album sort of sound like a variation on a theme, with little in the way of dynamics over the course of the album? Yeah, sure, but in this particular case I'd mark that in the "plus" column. I wouldn't want a band like Obsequiae to do anything other than play gorgeous Obsequiae riffs broken up by pretty interludes. Band kind of reminds me of Sühnopfer in that they're pretty one-note, but that note works best alone.
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MutantClannfear
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Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:53 pm 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
I liked that review well enough, as I think he does a pretty good job of describing what it sounds like, but his reaction to what the band has made is simply wrong. Does every riff on the album sort of sound like a variation on a theme, with little in the way of dynamics over the course of the album? Yeah, sure, but in this particular case I'd mark that in the "plus" column. I wouldn't want a band like Obsequiae to do anything other than play gorgeous Obsequiae riffs broken up by pretty interludes. Band kind of reminds me of Sühnopfer in that they're pretty one-note, but that note works best alone.

It's funny you mention Sühnopfer, because my opinion of them is the same as Obsequiae. Like Aria, I had a strong enough initial reaction to Offertoire that I bought a copy immediately after hearing a couple songs off of it and absolutely loving them, but after spinning the album a couple of times I just felt like the mood didn't justify the album's length, and the songs themselves don't have many individual standout points aside from contributing to that mood. I just don't find that especially enjoyable - and if you disagree, I figure it's pretty easy to just chalk it up to me having a personal taste for shorter, more diverse albums. No harm meant.
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Last edited by MutantClannfear on Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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