I'm just going to guess theunrelentingattack approved it.

How about not speculating on this?

I only just read Liquid_Braino's September 2013 review of the latest Sirenia record, and really think "Guaranteed closed casket funeral" should be a Cannibal Corpse song title.

One of his many entertaining euphemisms. Liquid_Braino knows his fuckin' female fronted metal - I would never dare challenge him on anything within that genre.

On a second note, does anybody remember what rating/impression UltraBoris gave Overkill's Immortalis when he attempted one of his comebacks? To my knowledge his newer reviews weren't up to par and swiftly deleted, but I'd love to know what he thought of it.

He has certainly kept a closer eye than me on Sirenia since they put out Nine Destinies and a Downfall; funnily enough the years have been far kinder to Veland's former band Tristania, despite having their own stylistic ups and downs.

Oh, I did. And let me tell you that I reject just as many as I accept, probably more. While that review isn't spectacular, it does meet our requirements so until you have the power to wade through hundreds of pieces of complete nonsense and then deal with butthurt readers sending you personal e-mails telling you how much of an elitist asshole you are for rejecting their crap, you have no clue what it's like.

I see where you are coming from, and totally agree. From the little work I have done on the report queue I've already tasted the spiteful anguish of slighted contributors. My earlier post may have come off as denigrating in hindsight due to a lack of clarification, and for that I apologize. Just to clarify: BastardHead says "Make bets," I think back to January-February and I remember seeing your name more than anybody's when I got the confirmation emails for my reviews. That was the reasoning why I said that, not to say that you lack comprehension as a review mod. So in conclusion, what I'm trying to say is, thank you for being prompt all of the time when my reviews were pending, and no harm was meant in any way by the earlier post. Hey, at least you found a suitable way to get all of that off of your chest.

Haha. Fair enough. Cheers.

Props to Diamhea for reviewing that Energy Strike. I was a bit surprised to see an obscurity like get reviewed (I just received that CD a week or so ago, actually).

I've noticed a lot of quality reviews by Diamhea in general, recently. Keep up the good work!

Has anybody else facepalmed as hard as I did for morbert's review of Nightmares Made Flesh?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... 73/morbert





I'm not one of those people that thinks Bloodbath is some infallible godsend of death metal (even if I've yet to be disappointed in a record of theirs), but this is one of those instances of a review, for me, being objectively, completely wrong.

I actually agree with what he says about Outnumbering the Day; the verse riff does fuck that song in the ass. But I don't see any other example of these bad ideas that the album is apparently filled to the brim with. The only other example he points out, in Bastard Son of God, is in my opinion the best part of the song. I also agree that the song structures don't tend to be particularly creative, but I don't think that does too much to harm the album.

Just call me The Virgin Killer.

As stated some time ago, I never expect any praise, so cheers for Perdition666 and novakm for going out of their way to mention me.

Anyone else get really excited for new releases that autothrall gives around a 70% to? I've found that that's the sweet spot for his reviews where the stuff is truly excellent. His 68% review for the new Sargeist has me pretty excited to hear it, for example. Basically, when it comes to him saying, "nothing new/heard it all before, but otherwise good" it means it's fantastic stuff for me.

I do have to admit if I see a 70% by him for an album in a style I dig, I know it will probably be to my liking. As for the new Sargeist, a solid effort, definitely an enjoyable listen. However, all their other full lengths are better (I gave it an 85).

I knew these reviews were going to pop up right away, I actually read Autothrall's review on his website last week. I find that Autothrall listens to almost all the same stuff I do and is often the only reviewer of such bands. His reviews are usually accurate in the sound description, but it seems at least I myself have kind of an opposite in taste/opinion. If he gives an album a 65-70 and says it's nothing special it's usually amazing (to me) some of the stuff he's given 75-90 doesn't really do much for me. He's given a few bands like Acherontas and Dodsferd their highest ratings for albums that have a lot of ambient which is really not my thing. He's an excellent reviewer, I just don't really pay attention to the "scores"

I have to say at first I wasn't so sure about the new Sargeist either, but after more listens and at high volume I think it's on par with LTDI. Really don't see any problems in the production, it's honestly really not that "raw" it just sounds like black metal. Do a lot of people just listen to an album once before reviewing it? I don't think that's enough to write anything in stone. I found that listening to an album again while I was actually writing the review also helped a lot, but I just recently deleted all my reviews. BTW Sargeist and Behexen are doing a full USA tour soon! Best news I have ever heard, can't fucking wait!

It's clearly not exceptionally raw as far as black metal goes. However, it undeniably takes on a rawer sound than the much more accessible LTDI.

And yes, definitely see them live if you can. They were one of the best bands I've seen.

Yeah, the sound is somewhere in between the first album and LTDI as I think you said in the review. Probably not as monumental as LTDI to most, but still a killer album that will grow on you if you give it more listens I think. Oh and I will be seeing them live no matter what, possibly in 2 different cities if they pick another venue close enough to Chicago. My neck already hurts thinking about how hard I will be headbanging. Black Fucking Murder

I got the promo a while back and have given at least 20 listens by now, so I think I've had an adequate amount of listens for it to grow on me. Oh well, I might not like the album quite as much as you but I think we can both agree they're a fucking killer band.

Regarding their live show, when they ended their set with "Let The Devil In" shit just went off. The amount of energy was just insane. The vocalist put on quite a show. Wouldn't want to encounter him in a bar fight, haha (same goes for the drummer, even more so).

I actually agree with him about the new Sargeist. I'd give it an even lower score. The drums sound shit and are basically irrelevant, the riffs sound like backup riffs they kept in case the well ever ran dry. It's unremarkable, and Sargeist's worst album. Yawn.

Nightgaunt steps out of the shadows!

Nightgaunts involvement is the clear highlight

I was going to get involved but, eh, I backed out. Wasn't feeling up to it.

Ozzy's got some review erectile dysfunction.

Pussy.

For anyone interested, it's still time to write a review. The goal is to beat Wintersun as the top reviewed album on the site!

Nice. In what promised to be (and quickly became) an onslaught of penis jokes, I dig this one for its cheeky subtlety and actual relevance to the review at hand. Autothrall also came through pretty strong in that regard.

I did my best to get my subtle thing in but it is only viewable for myself on my own monitor here.
So im just going to post what i did here:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/7u2zp6a6o26cl ... .04.22.png

RageW has the best one and it's not even a close contest.

I have never heard it, but I'm still gonna do one by the end of the day.

Yeah Rage wins. I tried for excessive use subtlety, by slipping some kind of penis reference into every single sentence, but in order to do so I had to be a bit too upfront.

Since I got in first, does that mean I ejaculated prematurely?

Really? I didn't find that one particularly memorable. Other than Nightgaunt, my vote goes to MutantClannfear or autothrall. Keep 'em cumming, guys! We can beat Wintersun!

WHEN YOU SEE IT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.

It's not that great, tbh. Each paragraph has the word "penis" formed by the first letters of words in each line, in a diagonal from upper left to lower right.

Yeah, sorry. Haven't reviewed anything in months and wasn't feeling up to it by the end of it. I did make some notes, but to turn it into a review wouldn't have been enjoyable for the 15 minutes it might have took.

That could've been a review. Toss it into Google Translate, grab the Spanish translation, translate that back to English, then again to Spanish and back to English for good measure. Throw in some jajaja's and some mentions of goats and cereal grain crops and baby, you've got yourself a review goin'.

Easy enough!

/golfclap

That review needs to stay. It gives a perfect idea of how the album sounds, isn't that the primary requirement for acceptance?

I'm stealing something Doomsday just said to me: From now on you can't become a scribe unless you review Penis Metal, a rite of passage!