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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5254
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 4:03 pm 
 

Thanks fellas! I've put my reorder in a playlist and I think it works well enough, the only real issues being that I just do not like "Sleeping Stars" or "Death and the Healing" at all, and "Sadness and Hate" only has the odd part I enjoy, so I feel like no matter where I put those, I won't be happy. A re-edit would be fun though, I'd be really interested in hearing it if you do such a thing.
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Slag
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:56 am
Posts: 2303
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 9:06 pm 
 

Read your Lancer review, BH, thought it was quite good. I'd only heard a few songs (and was, of course, inspired to do so by the album artwork), but the vibe I got from them is just as you describe the album. That last line in the review about all of those qualities from those classics and removing them to make Lancer made me laugh out loud. Hahah
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SS_Division_Wiking
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:22 am
Posts: 61
Location: Denmark
PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:23 am 
 

The Carolus Rex review by Napero is one very, very enjoyable read detailing some historical context to the themes. I would have liked to have seen him put a little bit more in the way of musical description on the review but I recommend it for fans wanting to know about Sabaton.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8468
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:34 am 
 

Hehe, thank you. Considering the combination of your username and the rant part of the review, I must say I'm slightly surprised for the kind words. You're quite right about the thinness of the musical description, BTW.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6405
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:51 am 
 

The review assumes you've already heard some Sabaton. If you have, it gives a fairly accurate musical picture of the album.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5254
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:47 pm 
 

The review amazed me because it really made me want to hear the album, despite already knowing that I wasn't much of a Sabaton fan. And when I heard it, surprise, I didn't like it all that much. Still, the review does an excellent job of doing what it sets out to do.
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 5801
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:38 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... 44/Subrick

The first review of the new Suffocation album, written by, of all people, me.
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Metantoine
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Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:46 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Suffocation/Pinnacle_of_Bedlam/359844/Subrick

The first review of the new Suffocation album, written by, of all people, me.

That's annoying, stop self promoting your reviews, it's pretentious as hell.
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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2571
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 5:41 pm 
 

Yeah, seriously. This thread is for discussing reviews, not pointing at yourself while shouting, "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!"
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Mysticaloldbard
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:10 pm
Posts: 1045
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:42 pm 
 

Empyreal's review of Mysterium was a good read. I especially enjoyed the descriptive writing in the third paragraph. He doesn't get overtly in-depth when talking about specific songs, but he used enough detail to give me a sense of the song, bearing in mind I'm already familiar with the album. The length was just right, too, and on a more personal note, thank you for divvying up the paragraphs into readable sections; I have terrible eyes and huge chunks can give me headache.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18862
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 4:14 pm 
 

It's a funny story about the paragraph sizes. When I used my old desktop computer on my early reviews, the paragraphs looked right when I crammed a bunch of words and sentences in, and then when I posted them here, they showed up as huge, block-wall texts of paragraphs. But on my laptop they just looked big enough already, and then I'd post the reviews and the paragraphs would be really small. But I like it now.

Thanks for the read! It's a good album and should be checked out.
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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 4785
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:18 pm 
 

Ilwhyan's Shining review is a pretty good read. And it was about time someone bashed them bluntly. Nice one mate! ;)
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6405
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:05 pm 
 

androdion wrote:
Ilwhyan's Shining review is a pretty good read. And it was about time someone bashed them bluntly. Nice one mate! ;)

Thanks. There's more to come, for sure!
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Liquid_Braino
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:25 am
Posts: 225
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:34 pm 
 

I'm actually more partial to the recent Liturgy Renihilation review. Like a monstrous parody of Hunter Hunt-Hendrix's ego through an ANUS grinder. After reading that, if someone ever mentions "burst beats" to my face it will take all of my mental strength not to whack him with a tire iron.

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:42 pm 
 

That review in a nutshell: we fight pretentiousness with more pretentiousness. Liturgy or whatever sucks, but reviews like that are annoying.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5254
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:48 pm 
 

I loved it, personally. I thought it did a great job illustrating just how fucking ridiculous that dude's attitude about his fairly by-the-numbers band is.
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:09 pm 
 

He just needed to add "like" every 5 words and it would've been golden.
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Liquid_Braino
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:25 am
Posts: 225
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:12 pm 
 

I thought it was more of a tongue-in-cheek mockery than pretentious myself. I think for me it works because he stays in character throughout.

Then again, I dig reading the weirder reviews out there, for better (in this case) or worse.

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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 5801
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:27 pm 
 

Liquid_Braino wrote:
I thought it was more of a tongue-in-cheek mockery than pretentious myself.


We have a winner!

Yeah, that's the point of the whole review; taking the piss out of Liturgy and their douche-to-end-all-douches singer through his own bloated sesquipedalian writing/talking style.
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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
Posts: 360
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:37 pm 
 

I can't comment on his blog fromthedustreturned, so I'll do it here instead: Big thumbs up to autothrall, who writes the most informative, constantly high quality metal-reviews I've ever read. I enjoy them a lot, even if my opinion differs occasionally from his, but I can always comprehend what makes him rate albums the way he does...

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DrummingEdge133
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:48 pm
Posts: 1604
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:46 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
To critique it with the same conventions and scales as contemporary music would be foolish (hence, I innovated and implemented a new scoring system of reversed polarity).

Bwahahahaha! Classic. :thumbsup: Thumbs up for bashing that douche-to-end-all-douches to a tiny bloody pile of pulp. I'm sure his douchiness will transcend existence itself.
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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:05 am 
 

BastardHead about Ilwhyan's Liturgy review wrote:
I loved it, personally. I thought it did a great job illustrating just how fucking ridiculous that dude's attitude about his fairly by-the-numbers band is.

My thoughts exactly. Really, I even want that Hunter douchebag to send Ilwhyan a response just so he can post it here :lol:
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
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Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:27 am 
 

Eh, I didn't like it much. Reviews should tell me about the music, not the stupid ideologies of the band members. There's a place for parody and satire, but when it's at the expense of solid description I don't want it.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6405
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:53 am 
 

Thank you all for the feedback and critique. I wrote the review mainly for the purpose of having a good laugh, and hoped that those reading it would find it amusing. The musical analysis suffers from the style I chose, and I consciously decided not to bloat it further with meticulous description of the music. I think the album's nature warranted it - the album is definitely more a concept than a musical piece, so mostly just laughing at how ridiculous the concept is seemed appropriate. I didn't imagine for a second that I was writing an excellent review as such. ;)

So, I'm glad many of you enjoyed it, but I doubt I'll be writing anything like that soon. Liturgy is a bit of a special case. :scratch:
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4842
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:46 pm 
 

One of the best reviews I've read in a while: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... 74/Ilwhyan

The first two paragraphs are a comprehensive summary with enough musical reference to point out exactly what I remember. The detailing is insightful, hitting the nail on the head on every point about the band's unfortunate tendencies and how they fail to play out the theme they're going for in an enjoyable way. I am impressed because it's more or less what I thought about the album/band, and the writing points out a lot of things that I didn't even think of. Bravo!

---

This one lacked substance, but one thing stood out: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... /Metal_Jaw

My main gripe with this album is that the songs themselves don't stick they way they should. It's basically just thrashing for thrash's sake and sometimes the band gets lost in themselves. The result: unmemorable songs.

The review is laden with lame thrash-speak, praising it while saying very little about the music itself or the album/songs. This sentence tells me that it's a thrash fan who loves everything thrash and has very little to offer beyond talking about how an album thrashes, much like the stereotypical prog fan can talk purely about prog elements. It's tough to take much away from an overwhelmingly positive 85% review when there's this little caveat that the songs are unmemorable, with a suggestion that it's pretty aimless. What's the point of a review if it's going to gloss over a critical point?

---

This one's a noodle-scratcher: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... etal_Grail

Back then there was lots of repeat too, but an emotional thunderbolt gave that one a momentum that goes begging this time around. Remember, I’m comparing Jari to Jari here. Any other band and this would be outdoing themselves. Jari can do better.
“Darkness and Frost” is a genuine first. An almost Jari filler. I said almost. You can tell by the desperate sampling. But “Time” is redemption time. Because remember what I just said about the emotional thunderbolt missing this time around? Well it’s back. And the interchange of clean and growl and choirs have never sounded so piercing and powerful. This is a whole sky of storm clouds.
To me it just sounds like a jamming speed hump until the anguished chorus blast beats things back into the kind of beautiful misery only genius knows.


It's a lame track-by-track that makes a lot of nonsensical analogies and has way too many sentence fragments. The entire review is just worshipping the guy and mentioning his name every few words, yet it says very little about the music.

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4842
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:17 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... windir2245

Quote:
Every now and then, I encounter an album that I listen to so frequently that it becomes iconic of a certain period in my life. Nelly’s rap album Country Grammar will always bring me back to Track and Field practice at my grade school. Slipknot’s Vol. 3 will always remind me of transitioning from middle school to high school.


There could not possibly be a more ill-fitting way to open a review for this album than this :rolleyes:

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:11 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Chaos_Synopsis/Art_of_Killing/362169/Indoomstrial_metle

Hate to be a whiner, but does anyone else hate it as much as do when people start reviews like these?

Quote:
Okay, so I got this album via email from the band itself (which was way cool of them. Thanks guys!) and now I'm writing a review of it.


No shit? Is that what these things are?

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18862
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:12 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Hirilorn/Legends_of_Evil_and_Eternal_Death/2444/windir2245

Quote:
Every now and then, I encounter an album that I listen to so frequently that it becomes iconic of a certain period in my life. Nelly’s rap album Country Grammar will always bring me back to Track and Field practice at my grade school. Slipknot’s Vol. 3 will always remind me of transitioning from middle school to high school.


There could not possibly be a more ill-fitting way to open a review for this album than this :rolleyes:


:lol: This is priceless.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8656
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:21 pm 
 

Metal_Detector wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Chaos_Synopsis/Art_of_Killing/362169/Indoomstrial_metle

Hate to be a whiner, but does anyone else hate it as much as do when people start reviews like these?

Quote:
Okay, so I got this album via email from the band itself (which was way cool of them. Thanks guys!) and now I'm writing a review of it.


No shit? Is that what these things are?

Yeah, his reviews are 3 pointers at best, they're really bad. Not sure I would approve a similar review. He's comparing his opinion with the the ones of the other reviewers and the musical description is quite low.
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Obscurum
Emperor of the Shadows

Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:23 am
Posts: 378
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:40 pm 
 

Evidently the band requested quite a few reviews for that album. Even I have gotten one (which I'll be doing very soon), and I'm hardly an experienced reviewer.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5254
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:46 pm 
 

That was a hard one to accept, admittedly. I mean, it's bad, but I guess it fulfills the criteria. Though my favorite line is actually

Quote:
This piece starts out with, "Son of Light" which I assume is a satirical song about Jesus. I find this offensive to my religion, but hey, I'm not going to be 'that guy'.


Even stupid people can fumble their way to acceptability sometimes :lol:
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4842
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:38 pm 
 

Reviewers that only stumble their way to acceptability could do themselves some good by getting feedback on their writing.

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kluseba
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:36 am
Posts: 113
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 5:20 pm 
 

There are actually some mistakes in this new Chaos Synopsis review. Here comes the biggest one: "Son of Light" is not about Jesus or about religion but about the Brazilian serial killer Febrônio Ferreira de Mattos. His killings were inspired by a religious vision he had but this is a fact and not meant to criticize christianity or Jesus Christ at all. A small look on the lyrics would have helped before writing down that review.

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Obscurum
Emperor of the Shadows

Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:23 am
Posts: 378
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 6:02 pm 
 

kluseba wrote:
A small look on the lyrics would have helped before writing down that review.

They even provide a digital booklet along with the music ... :durr:
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6405
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:12 am 
 

kluseba wrote:
There are actually some mistakes in this new Chaos Synopsis review. Here comes the biggest one: "Son of Light" is not about Jesus or about religion but about the Brazilian serial killer Febrônio Ferreira de Mattos. His killings were inspired by a religious vision he had but this is a fact and not meant to criticize christianity or Jesus Christ at all. A small look on the lyrics would have helped before writing down that review.

That's minor compared to your calling it a death metal album. Really? I don't actually even think it qualifies as death/thrash.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8468
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:32 pm 
 

I don't have any particular (approved...) review in mind, but a few stupid and worn expressions are getting tedious, especially when it comes to reviewing black metal: using the word "horde" when discussing a band, "ritual" as a replacement word for song, etc.

Pretentious bullcrap is getting old. Your heroes do not live in a crypt in a castle and sleep among the corpses, they eat a Big Mac once a week and fart loudly for comedic purposes while watching Die Hard on DVD and drinking beer.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6405
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:10 pm 
 

Napero wrote:
I don't have any particular (approved...) review in mind, but a few stupid and worn expressions are getting tedious, especially when it comes to reviewing black metal: using the word "horde" when discussing a band, "ritual" as a replacement word for song, etc.

Pretentious bullcrap is getting old. Your heroes do not live in a crypt in a castle and sleep among the corpses, they eat a Big Mac once a week and fart loudly for comedic purposes while watching Die Hard on DVD and drinking beer.

Black metal bands' pages are full of that stuff. Horna's site, for example... Temple (homepage), craft (bio), rituals (live shows), spells (disco), icons (band), script (mail).
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 6551
Location: Fortress Northallerton, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:19 am 
 

Subrick's review of the latest Darkthrone album wrote:
A lot of this could be attributed to the heavy Celtic Frost influence their music contained, especially on Panzerfaust, which one could easily call a love letter to Tom G. Warrior's innovators of extreme metal through tracks like "Quintessence"


'Quintessence' sounds nothing like Celtic Frost, dammit!
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Razakel
Nekroprince

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:36 pm
Posts: 4860
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:36 pm 
 

Yeah, Triumphant Gleam and Beholding the Throne of Might are the To Mega Therion worshiping songs off Panzerfaust, not Quintessence.

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 8:02 pm 
 

I'd like to give props to Empyreal for his excellent review of Stratovarius's Nemesis. This album has completely exceeded my modest expectations. I've been hard on Strato in the past, but Nemesis is just excellent and the fanfare is completely deserved. I'm seriously starting to think it's the best thing they've ever done.

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