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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 991
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:56 pm 
 

I'd much rather read reviews for bands or albums that I haven't heard yet. I have my own opinion on albums that I've listened to, so I rarely go looking for reviews of popular albums. Like Tony said, there are a lot of bands out there that don't have any reviews and a lot of them really deserve to be reviewed.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5411
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 9:14 pm 
 

I'm a bit of the odd mod out because, while actually moderating reviews for classics is agony because most writers that are really worth reading aren't going to touch them, I have no problem with reading reviews of classics. Hell, I do it for fun. I'm not looking for a buyer's guide, I'm looking for a new perspective, or just a reaffirmation of why I feel the way I do if the writer shares the same opinion as me.

And really, I cut my teeth on reviewing classics. It's a bit of a minefield because most noobs are gonna write boring crap about them (I was/am definitely no exception), but it could always work out and lead to you becoming a better writer. Now, I agree that LeMis/TheLib isn't the best writer out there and is way too goddamn waffly for his own good, but I'm not out to put him down for it. Maybe he'll keep trudging and get better? Worked for OzzyApu!

But with that said, general rule is that reviewing huge name albums is boring and virtually guarantees nobody will read it and that it will sit in the moderation queue for eons because every mod rolls their eyes when they see one like that, but I'm not morally against it.
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 877
Location: Boswell, PA USA
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 9:53 pm 
 

The only reason that I would touch the classics (like I did with the King Diamond series I began) is because I waited until I was 48 to start writing serious reviews and I have so much to say about "the classics" because I was there to see it. However, there are billions of reviews for those albums and there is so much that it would be a daunting task. I barely have enough time to get any reviews out these days.

Most of my reviews are up and coming bands. I think spreading good new metal is way better than talking about albums that everyone already has an opinion of.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 19241
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:04 pm 
 

You can review the classics just fine if you spend time on the review and make a long, detailed analysis. What's LAME is just reviewing a band's whole discography in short, boring 4-5 paragraph reviews that don't really add anything.
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 877
Location: Boswell, PA USA
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:15 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
You can review the classics just fine if you spend time on the review and make a long, detailed analysis. What's LAME is just reviewing a band's whole discography in short, boring 4-5 paragraph reviews that don't really add anything.


Well the King Diamond discography was something I wanted to do at the time because those albums mean so much to me. I may finish it, still. Of all of the "classics" King was and is still my favorite. I may or may not have added anything new to what was already said but I added my personal experience with those albums over the years. There is just so much out there to review that, thankfully, the King thing got put to the back burner. Like I said, I'll finish it.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:21 pm 
 

I just mean "you" in the general sense, man. :)
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 877
Location: Boswell, PA USA
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:25 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
I just mean "you" in the general sense, man. :)


Oh I know...I also know that I was guilty of doing the done to death classics discography. :lol:
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3489
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:04 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... nce/338998

Quote:
-1 percent for inaudible bass


Anyone else get irked by lines like this in reviews? Not the bass part, but the "minus one percent just cuz" part.
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:47 am 
 

Death and Sepultura are my favourite bands, I just wanted them covered. Perhaps I'll finish Carcass and Suffocation some day but until then i'll just do random reviews like I did before.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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HeySharpshooter
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 3:12 am
Posts: 398
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:39 am 
 

LeMiserable wrote:
Death and Sepultura are my favourite bands, I just wanted them covered. Perhaps I'll finish Carcass and Suffocation some day but until then i'll just do random reviews like I did before.


I think those have been pretty well covered.

Its nothing personal man. Truth is, I havent read any of your reviews. Because the things you have reviewed dont interest me. Which is cool. You do your thing. Just dont expect those around here to like it. Or to care what you think in most cases... unleaa your review blows

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5344
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 6:34 am 
 

Actually, such stuff has been dealt with. Would be more interesting t see a review on the larger evolution of the music than on the mere "main" releases.
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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 723
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 8:18 am 
 

Wilytank wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/At_the_Gates/The_Red_in_the_Sky_Is_Ours/146/RideForVengeance/338998

Quote:
-1 percent for inaudible bass


Anyone else get irked by lines like this in reviews? Not the bass part, but the "minus one percent just cuz" part.


If the bass really is missing, then it's fair to clip it off your review's score. But yeah, plunking that sentence down in that manner is a bit of a drawback to a review's readability.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4979
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:16 pm 
 

Wilytank wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/At_the_Gates/The_Red_in_the_Sky_Is_Ours/146/RideForVengeance/338998

Quote:
-1 percent for inaudible bass


Anyone else get irked by lines like this in reviews? Not the bass part, but the "minus one percent just cuz" part.


It's factually inaccurate, as is the mention of the guitar sound being an HM-2. The bass is tuned down to B, around 30hz, and the bass is dominant in that range. I guess this reviewer listens on ipod headphones or doesn't know that the bass is heard in the lower frequencies, also known as the bass frequencies. Rejected.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:28 pm 
 

Well shit, I didn't even realize until now that I posted this in the Oven Fodder thread. I intended to throw this in the review discussion one. I'm stupid. :durr:
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:23 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Cannibal_Corpse/Gore_Obsessed/900/DaddyZeus67/132584

I shall quote:

Spoiler: show
Quote:
Being the very worst death metal band in existence (also having the least talent in the death metal scene) and releasing the same album over and over ever since losing Chris Barnes from their vocalist/lyricist spot


http://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Massacre/Promise/2018

Quote:
Cannibal Corpse without Chris Barnes is exactly the same thing. This is also why Six Feet Under is about 5 million times more metal than Cannibal Corpse can ever wish to be and there's simply no argument in that.


Yeah, definitely, Six Feet Under is more metal than the most popular and most archetypical death metal band of all time. UNDENIABLY! Damn, what have I been missing?! :headbang:

Quote:
Same shitty and in no way heavy or catchy riffs, same lame lyrics and same horrible drumming.


He makes it look like the Barnes-era Cannibal Corpse were the most innovative band ever...

Quote:
Fisher's vocals suck and he never changes. George Fisher sounds exactly the same in every single album he records.


I don't think I've ever heard a band in which the vocalist sounds completely different on each record...

Quote:
So all he has done is change from generic death metal vocals to more generic DM vocals which he can't even perform with decipherable words.


Decipherable? Oh yeah, because Barnes was completely decipherable during his stint at the band, of course.

Quote:
At least he doesn't do those gay pitch gurgle growls in this album anymore


I don't know every CC record but I can't imagine their music ever sounding "gay".

Quote:
Paul is a fucking slow and sloppy ass pounder whose live performance is dwarfed even by Lars Ulrich,


This is simply not possible.

Quote:
Paul ruins about every Cannibal Corpse song with his sloppy ass piece of shit pounding.


Very convincing when you've just spend an entire paragraph explaining how Fisher is the worst thing to ever have happened to death metal.

Quote:
we get "Hatchet To The Head" which I admit to have its good sections but in general it's just a generic Cannibal Corpse song among others


Does he even like this band?

Quote:
Too bad the beginning riff gets boring really fast. It isn't more than just another shitty Cannibal Corpse riff you just can't headbang to.


I haven't EVER heard a CC riff you can't headbang to.

Quote:
but in the second minute you'll hear once again something fairly rare in the modern Cannibal Corpse: a GOOD section!


He just spend multiple sentences writing about how this album actually had some decent parts. I really don't get what he thinks of this band.

Quote:
Even the masterful main riff sounds like complete shit when played by Cannibal Corpse! Solos are all fucked up of course.


This is just blind hate for the sake of blind hate, if you say this band's solos suck you aren't listening properly.

Quote:
(I'm not talking about George's long "s00per @wzumez!11" scream here)


What?

Quote:
There's not a single completely good song in this album.


I am not kidding, the first line of this paragraph reads "And now this pretty much sums up the whole album, the only good stuff in this album are the songs Savage Butchery and Dormant Bodies Bursting".

Is he fucking kidding, or did he take a piss-break?

Quote:
To sum things up, Cannibal Corpse is a down right dead dinosaur band and they suck by every stretch of imagination


But...you just said they had some good songs... :aww:

Quote:
They have no real talent, no passion, no originality and no potential at all.


I lol'd

Quote:
the only thing Cannibal Corpse's stuff can be used for is straight headbanging.


But you just said their riffs are not headbangable?

Quote:
And not only do Cannibal Corpse completely suck themselves but what really concerns me is the fact that this band has been influential. By making piece of shit music like this Cannibal Corpse encourage thousands of other clone death metal bands to do the same shit. It's Cannibal Corpse's fault that modern death metal has gone so generic these days. Cannibal Corpse helped to spawn all these numbers of inane clone death metal bands and even the deathcore bands. And this kids, is the very reason why Cannibal Corpse is the ultimate abomination to all of death metal.


Very questionable statement if you'd ask me.

Quote:
I will keep listening to their 4 first albums though when they had at least some meaning and talent in their music.

Definitely a Barnes-era fan, and this shows exactly what's wrong with that. I don't think anyone can disagree that CC's music took a step-up in execution once Fisher came in, it might have taken a while, but still...

Quote:
Never ever buy an album with George Fisher or Paul Mazurkiewicz in it.


Apparently you have...


This is a retarded review, it's literally ridden with fanboyism (forbidden by MA's rules), blind hate and one of the worst written reviews I have ever seen, it doesn't even make sense to itself.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8859
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:26 am 
 

LeMiserable wrote:
[
it's literally ridden with fanboyism (forbidden by MA's rules)

Wait, what?
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... ble/327446
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:47 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
LeMiserable wrote:
[
it's literally ridden with fanboyism (forbidden by MA's rules)

Wait, what?
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... ble/327446


How can you not be a fanboy of your favorite album you give a 100%? Then we could say the same of practically every 100% review. Oh, and besides, I'm merely a fanboy of their first 2 albums, it's not like I can swallow everything by them in the same way, unlike this guy who seems to dismiss everything Fisher is involved in because he's not Barnes...

I expected the whole thing to be turned around again, seems I'm not able to express my feelings towards something without getting the whole thing pressed into my own face again, now you're derailing the thread again so you can say how much I suck at everything, gimme a fucking break and keep it on-topic, everyone's entitled to have their say in anything, even if they themselves can't do anything better.

anyway, that review sucks and should be nuked, one could accuse my reviews for being biased but things like "this album has 2 good songs...this album is terrible in its entirety" are universally bad and not something you can find in my reviews.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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Jophelerx
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:22 pm
Posts: 730
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 12:13 pm 
 

Found this review for Black Lodge, I realize it's the only negative review for the album, but it's just awful, the only musical description is "dissonant."

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... tWar/33511
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Xenokrist
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 56
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:03 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/K ... krist/6293

At least he admits to not describing much about how it sounds.

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4979
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:39 pm 
 

Xenokrist opposes a review by Antikrist? Conspiracy!!!

Ugh, rejecting that one pulled up a review by LeMiserable.

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 5:26 am 
 

Whaddaya mean by that? I don't really understand that last line.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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chaossphere
Metal Lunatic

Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2002 11:49 pm
Posts: 2630
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:23 am 
 

VariedTastes wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Trimonium/Blow_the_Horns/20059/chaossphere

Should probably be deleted for factual inaccuracy. He calls Trimonium's Blow the Horns thrash metal, plus it's a pretty poor review even without that mistake.

Proof of non-thrashiness http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SnoaRhVlZk


Obviously nobody agrees with you. Review has been edited to add "blackened thrash", which is a more accurate description. Denying any thrash influence in Trimonium is inaccurate, especially where the drumming is concerned.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 3:31 am 
 

chaossphere wrote:
Obviously nobody agrees with you. Review has been edited to add "blackened thrash", which is a more accurate description. Denying any thrash influence in Trimonium is inaccurate, especially where the drumming is concerned.


Yeah seems like he had some sort of agenda with that one. Re-accepted. Seems fine to me.
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thrashmaniac87
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 293
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 12:53 pm 
 

The standard for reviews was never this low at metal-archives. I don't why this was ever accepted. My favorite part is 'Additional Instruments- N/A'.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/R ... ller/47339
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5411
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:06 pm 
 

That review was so bad that I actually navigated the main site on my phone to nuke it. Do you have any idea how Herculean of a task that is? It was THAT bad.
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thrashmaniac87
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 293
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:15 pm 
 

I commend you for your service.
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chaossphere
Metal Lunatic

Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2002 11:49 pm
Posts: 2630
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 6:37 pm 
 

theunrelentingattack wrote:
MutantClannfear wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Plague_Impaled/Shadows_Night/64708/chaossphere

Short and lame like the penis of an obese man with ED.


I never told anyone I had ED. :(

Review is gone.


If you heard the demo you would have realized that the amount of effort I put into the review was directly proportional to how much effort it deserved, which is very very little.
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:05 pm 
 

Just stumbled upon this...
BastardHead wrote:
LeMis/TheLib

wut? You meant we have a similar style (not sure about that) or thinking we're the same person? I haven't moved to the Netherlands recently, for the record.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5411
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:11 pm 
 

TheLiberation wrote:
Just stumbled upon this...
BastardHead wrote:
LeMis/TheLib

wut? You meant we have a similar style (not sure about that) or thinking we're the same person? I haven't moved to the Netherlands recently, for the record.


Hahaha, you were rather notorious in your heyday for being quite the complainer, and LeMis showed up around the time you left, so I had a sneaking hunch that he was you since you guys argued for a lot of the same reasons. Believe me, you've since been exonerated of any suspicion.
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:18 pm 
 

"Complaining" is quite low on the list of terms I'd use to describe what I was doing back then, but forget it. ;)

Also I'm quite impressed by his productivity (no sarcasm), I usually take like 2 or 3 days to write a review.
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:56 am 
 

TheLiberation, let's team up and be annoying togetheryeahh!!!
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tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:13 am 
 

Nah, this time my plans are more modest. ;)
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Woolie_Wool
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:55 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
That review was so bad that I actually navigated the main site on my phone to nuke it. Do you have any idea how Herculean of a task that is? It was THAT bad.

I actually kind of want to read it now, just to see how bad it is.
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:50 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Cryptopsy/None_So_Vile/199/Falconsbane/38

Seems a bit fanboy-ish to report this certainly after my last comment. But ehh, this review is too short, and bashes for bashing sake. Just read it, it's terrible.

I SHALL QUOTE:

Spoiler: show
Quote:
Forged from the worst elements of NYDM and unleashed without thought or mercy upon an unsuspecting world, "None So Vile is one of those records counted among the classics by those who enjoy migraines.


Oh yeah, yeah I can feel the headaches immediately. Yes, this album is formed from the worst elements of NYDM (wat).

Quote:
Hideously dissonant and jarringly atonal, mixed raw and rusty (but with brain piercing treble spikes to ensure the onset of Excedrin Headache No. 666).


What?

Quote:
The usual assortment of blindingly fast, grating tremolo riffs and "technical" blast and fill drumming over amorphous structures replete with sudden (and pointless) tempo and riff changes just to remind you that these are skilled players.


Opinions aside, these guys are NOT un-skilled. That is A FACT. And he calls tempo changes pointless? The fuck does this guy listen to?

Quote:
The expected generic vomitvox rears its head.


Lord Worm? Generic? He must be joking right? Right?

Quote:
Occasional reversions to a simple, midpaced power chord chug serve (I guess) as "payoff" for sitting through the blasting (but really, who needs to wait for such "payoff" so long as From Beyond is still available).


From Beyond? Well, if you think that's a masterpiece... *brain explodes*

Quote:
Oh, and lots of slap bass. Assholes love slap bass. Apparently, assholes also love this band. Like Cryptopsy, assholes fucking suck.


Again, bashing for the sake of bashing.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3857
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:59 am 
 

Willfully nuked.
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 5:35 am 
 

While we're on the subject...

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Cryptopsy/None_So_Vile/199/EschatonOmega/329906

I honestly thought that there was some kind of agreement that this review is a complete abomination, totally missing the point and the only thing this review actually does is pull the album down and make Omega himself look like a retard.

I SHALL QUOTE:

Spoiler: show
Quote:
I have two main reasons why I hate this album so much; one, it's overrated to hell. Now that's not an inherent reason to hate an album, unless the album's actual quality doesn't measure up to the hype


This has been said before... I'll say it my way...But WELL DUH! Of course you fucking think it's overrated if it doesn't meet the/your expectations. Totally fucking redundant waste of text, this.

Quote:
and that brings me to reason number two; it's noise. Complete noise. There is no song structure, no progression, nothing of anything close to that whatsoever. Instead it’s just thirty two minutes of the band members jerking themselves off to their own musical talent, without creating any real substance and the result is a very forgettable and boring release.


Right, again, opinions aside. He's just wrong. Just wrong. Regarding this album as noise can mean 3 things:

1. Your earphones suck.
2. Your speakers suck.
3. You're an idiot.

No structure, no progression? Ehh, yeah the album is about as forceful as metal can get, but no, it's not void of structure or progression. I challenge everyone here to listen to "Phobophile", if you can't hear that song climaxing you need to freshen up your mind, and if you can't hear the logical (if random, but not lack of) flow in the songs, same thing.

Quote:
The riffs do not go anywhere.


False.

Quote:
Completely without sense or structure and they just play one directionless riff after another, the next one having little to nothing to do with the last one.


This makes me wanna throw an axe at his face, directionless? Bwah! No. They're actually just very fast semi-grindy techdeath riffs, but they're not directionless, they make perfect sense, and that's a fact, just because you're too fucktarded to understand music doesn't mean it's badly structured or whatever.

Quote:
What's more, they have no emotion or reason to give a shit, with very bored sounding guitar solos and riffs that have no structure, and as a result, every song sounds the same. And as a result of the band sounding like they don't give a shit, I don't give a shit.


Read comment above.

Quote:
This is made even worse by the drumming, which also has no structure and instead just sounds like Flo Mounier is just banging away at his kit. They often don't match up with the riffs and just sound like they're doing their own thing.


This is probably the main reason I hate this review so incredibly much. This is just searching for reasons to bash the album. "Doing their own thing" Are you...? Are you FUCKING kidding me? The drums are fast and random, and totally unpredictable, but the fills, the blasts, whatever, they all perfectly match up with the structure of the riffs, just listen, you'll see the drumming speeds up with the riffs and slows down among them as well.

Quote:
Both the senseless drumming and the just as meaningless riffs are what drives this complete wall of noise that is repetitive and just plain annoying to listen to.


Psst... Reek of Putrefaction.

Alright, repetitive? I can feel my brain starting to seriously hurt here. I don't think that there is a SINGLE element apart from the vocals that you can hear twice on this album. Every song is 100% different than the other, no similarities whatsoever, if you think otherwise, you're just wrong. Fact!

Quote:
The only saving grace of the instrumental work is that, while the structure is completely out of the mix, you can still hear the individual talent of the musicians. I can tell that they can play their instruments, but it’s wasted on the fact that they didn't write their songs very well.


Uhm... If you think the whole thing is noise how can you even hear that they are good at what they do? And besides, out of mix? wut? The whole thing is completely on-track, apart from a few intentional parts, but not nearly enough to flame the album for.

Quote:
Lord Worm abandons melody and structure in total and instead goes for this guttural series of grunts, growls and shrieks that don't match up to the rest of the music at all, so much so that it sounds like he was singing in a completely different series of songs on a completely different album.


Right, this actually makes sense for the largest parts. But the guttural growls, shrieks and grunts. Excuse me, but this so happens to be a DEATH METAL album, and Worm is a DEATH METAL vocalist. Makes sense, don't it?


I might be a bit nitpicky here and perhaps a bit biased as I love (read: adore, worship) this album. He makes it look like he's written this review for ...And Then You'll Beg and pasted None So Vile for the album name. And while I think this review is decent in its core. It COMPLETELY misses the point, like extremely so. To the point where it just becomes a shitshow where the reviewer makes himself look like a complete fool just because he doesn't know what he's listening to, that's down to him, not the album.

Sorry for the harsh words, but he's just hopelessly searching for reasons to fill up his review with more incorrect bullshit and for the sake of his own credibility, please, pretty please...just take it down.
_________________
tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.


Last edited by LeMiserable on Thu Aug 28, 2014 8:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 6:30 am 
 

Hm, the first half of the review dwells a bit too much on the "hurr durr overrated" thing, but as a whole I don't think it's that bad - he does list (purely musical, not ideological bullshit) quite a lot of reasons why the album is supposed to be bad. Some of those could be more developed, but it's kind of ok as a whole. (Although frankly might also be because I'm used to 0-20% reviews being a bunch of "this is not kvlt enough waaaaaaa" whining more often than not)
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Poisonfume wrote:
I marvel at the clusterfuck of confusion we have constructed.

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 6:37 am 
 

I agree that his review contains enough musical description to be passable. But the totally fucktarded way he does it makes it look like he's pulling it out of his ass, you can't criticize the music of an album based on things that aren't true to begin with. (Such as calling it void of structure or progression or a wall of sound, noise etc.)

He bashes the album for characteristics it doesn't have, that's my irk.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
Posts: 2008
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 7:56 am 
 

Probably you should leave reporting reviews panning albums you love to someone else. Just sayin'.

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 512
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 7:58 am 
 

MacMoney wrote:
Probably you should leave reporting reviews panning albums you love to someone else. Just sayin'.


Yeah..probably. I try to be as objective as possible, but it's hard when the review you try to get nuked is so incredibly different than your own view, I might be biased, but sure you agree with me that the review COMPLETELY misses the point?

I mean, he even mentioned he stopped listening on the 1st and 2nd try, but completed it on the 3rd. 1-ish try and he apparently has a clear enough idea to relentlessly bash the album as if he knows it in and out, while he clearly doesn't.
_________________
tomcat_ha about me bashing kluseba's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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