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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 10:27 am 
 

Horrible 2006-era review anyway. Rejected.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 4:57 pm 
 

AddWittyUsername wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Tiamat/Clouds/2229/Eternal_Decadent/1245

Two-paragraph 2005 review riddled with SPaG issues. Stuff like:
Quote:
This album from Tiamat is totally unlike their peers who oftenplay their songs about death , gore & destruction ending their fan bored , instead "Clouds" is a fine , well done album which display a dark romaticism and a new more atmospheric side of swedish death metal

Apart from the inexplicable SPAG weirdness, I didn't find the review objectionable. It did an unexpectedly good job with musical description, for instance.
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:44 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Ov ... ution/5083

Lacks content
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last.fm
My band. FFO Morbid Angel, Inter Arma, Imperial Triumphant, Slint

stainedclass2112 wrote:
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BastardHead wrote:
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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1842
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 8:27 pm 
 

raspberrysoda wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Overcast/Expectational_Dilution/5083

Lacks content


Was the the right link? It goes to an album page.
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 8:30 pm 
 

I know for a fact that there was only one review on that album (hence he could link to the album and the review would be found.)
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 8:43 pm 
 

Review was nuked
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1842
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 10:25 pm 
 

Then I would say it severely lacks content! :-D
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:11 am 
 

Crappy track by track from 2006.
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 11:22 am 
 

Noctir's review of Svartalvheim is a track-by-track review. Kind of boring to read.
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:54 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... al/237988/

The first review talks about the poor production on the first pressing. The second review talks about the first review's issues with the production on the first pressing. Writing a review with no mention of the music discussing another review that makes no mention of the music, hmm. Incidentally, here's a request for an actual review of the record!
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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:24 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/K ... ain/135539

Just terrible. Wastes an entire paragraph quoting Wikipedia, then describes things like the vocals and riffs in one sentence with no elaboration. The grammar is also quite poor. A really shitty review by someone that clearly hasn't got a clue, to be honest.

"The brain cells of the band seem to be dead when it comes to thrash now.". Yeah, nice sentence.
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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 4:17 am 
 

Crappy 2004 review.
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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 4:52 pm 
 

Human666's The Spectre Within review betrays a total lack of understanding or even willingness to understand the music. Did he even listen to the entire thing?
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 5:26 pm 
 

Hes' been discussed before. It isn't going anywhere.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 11:19 am 
 

Shitty 2002 UltraBoris review.
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BastardHead wrote:
I will pay a dollar to have Lich's custom title changed to "Drools into the Toilet Bowl"
Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 7:07 pm 
 

UB reviews stay.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Mikhail95
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:13 pm
Posts: 62
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 10:31 pm 
 

:bow: :bow: Ultra Boris is godly do not question his ways.

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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2016 5:00 am 
 

mikey22 wrote:
:bow: :bow: Ultra Boris is godly do not question his ways.

Some kind of a demigod, maybe... Godly? Certainly no.
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BastardHead wrote:
I will pay a dollar to have Lich's custom title changed to "Drools into the Toilet Bowl"
Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
I like keeping my sword wet, like a young girl in her prime.

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Roffle_the_Thrashard
Thrash Slinging Slasher

Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:18 pm
Posts: 186
Location: The Place With The People And Stuff
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2016 2:23 pm 
 

Track by track review and just generally gross.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... ice/173965
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However, all in all, this is pretty much it.
https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Incredulous/3540423870

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lawofthesaw215
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2016 6:43 pm
Posts: 1
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2016 2:32 pm 
 

I believe the review of Maruta's Forward Into Regression (written by bitterman, who doesn't even seem to be a member anymore) located at this link:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Maruta/Forward_into_Regression/318980/
should be removed. His perspective is clearly overly subjective and his harsh comments about the release lack legitimacy. I can understand the fact that he doesn't appreciate the sociological lyrical content, but to call the structure "completely illogical" and refer to them as "a collection of incongruous parts" is absurd.

Quote:
All the song structures are completely illogical, going from part to part and saying nothing in the process, sounding like a project put together from stringing together their favorite parts from jam tapes into what sound like songs, but are really just a collection of incongruous parts. This is what happens when someone has nothing to offer musically, so dresses up generic mediocre Y2K "grind" in unorthodox sounds like divebombs for the sake of being "different" or "unique."


This guy must have never picked up a musical instrument a day in his life, because it takes a lot of talent to create music like this, what with it's crazy time signatures and technicality.

I understand that someone may not like certain types of music, but this guy was just being a plain dickhead. He was being extremely biased and illogical, and his review is quite inaccurate.

May I add that I personally love Maruta and I think Forward Into Regression is an awesome album, but that's my opinion, and I know others will disagree, but there's no reason this album should receive a 0% rating.

Thanks for your time and attention

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2016 10:03 pm 
 

The ratings mean nothing, and as such have no bearing on whether or not a review is acceptable.

If you haven't realized, pissing people off through arguably warranted hyperbole is his shtick.

And this statement below dispels any absence of agenda or bias in your request:

Quote:
May I add that I personally love Maruta and I think Forward Into Regression is an awesome album, but that's my opinion, and I know others will disagree, but there's no reason this album should receive a 0% rating.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 2:34 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/F ... _Kurtz/410

Shitty track by track from 2002
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My band. FFO Morbid Angel, Inter Arma, Imperial Triumphant, Slint

stainedclass2112 wrote:
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BastardHead wrote:
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8855
Location: Yorkshire
PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2016 4:31 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... Done/22033

Poor formatting and "invent your own adjectives" English.
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MDL
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:12 pm
Posts: 949
Location: Unknown
PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2016 4:44 pm 
 

This looks very poor, IMO. What do you, staffers, think?:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... ca01/10724

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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:50 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Lehavoth/5260

all the reviews for this band should be deleted
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last.fm
My band. FFO Morbid Angel, Inter Arma, Imperial Triumphant, Slint

stainedclass2112 wrote:
It was a joke you darn can of fizzy sweetened liquid

BastardHead wrote:
Somebody is getting murdered but poor razz just wants his beauty sleep.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 11:14 am 
 

Looks like they had their friends write reviews. One was good enough to keep though.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Maeguk
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:54 am
Posts: 11
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 5:14 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... 666/280147

maybe it's alright though but somewhere halfway there is a 6 lines long sentence. Diamhea would kick my ass multiple times if I wrote a review like that... :D

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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
Posts: 1417
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:19 am 
 

Haha. If the first sentence of the second paragraph wasn't bad enough, two later there's one that's 115 words long!

And actually, I just read the last six of his and they are all the exact same thing.
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Maeguk
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:54 am
Posts: 11
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:36 am 
 

indeed, for the beard of Odin, he has produced so far 334 reviews!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:37 am 
 

Looks to me like another case of someone drowning in promos and cranking out reviews too quickly, and quality invariably suffers.

Oh and he's scribed, so his reviews aren't screened by staffers. Just to exonerate myself from any cries of hypocrisy.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1842
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:43 pm 
 

Don is actually a really good reviewer, when his reviews are a little more concise. I remember some of his early reviews had paragraphs that would fill an entire screen. Walls of text, sometimes. I think if he whittled down the length a bit, he could be a great reviewer.
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Rodman
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 10:15 am
Posts: 977
Location: Sydney, Australia
PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:17 am 
 

Burn the Priest - S/T

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ime/287820

Quote:
It wouldn't hurt if they went on like this - 81%
black_slime, March 28th, 2012
NextLast
Before Lamb Of God started making music, that's a bit more mature, than music on this album, their name was Burn The Priest. Although I like today's Lamb Of God more, Burn The Priest was not so bad at all, even though "it happened" 13 years ago. Some idiots, haters on batteries that is, call LoG trendy and shit, and other call LoG forgettable. So really do make up your mind please, because last time I checked something can't be both black and white at the same time. Some others say that this album is as bad as later on and so on...and really I'm fucking tired of that bullshit, so I'm going to say this once and for all. LoG, or this particular album, is not nearly as trendy as the DEFINITION OF TRENDYNESS called BUGGER FOR MY SHITLENTINE, second of all, if a band wants quality production, let them have it, these are digital times, and for a reason do bands re-record, or remaster old albums so they sound more clearer and more ear-friendly, and thirdly what kind of an argument is "their music is trendy yap yap yap"; like Slayer, Exodus, Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth weren't trendy and popular among 80's kids? As far as this album goes, you can clearly see some basics of their later work, so I'm going to talk about that and why this album succeeds and fails.

The truth is you can consider this a grindish deathish foundation for their later work. The riffage is not so "developed" ,it's rather more slugish, I'd say, and simpler than later work. But still, in consideration of this being a grindcore album(more grindcore than death metal), I'd say that they pretty much succeed, and for a debut album this is pretty pretty good. At some points riffage reminds me of Nasum or Napalm Death. So considering that while listening to this album gives you a feeling of the lack of originality...but considering the other thing, like it was late 90's and this is their first full length album.... I think that that slight feeling is forgivable, because the whole idea and atmosphere of the songs overtakes you completely,just like Brutal Truth or any other 90's grind band, thus succeeding in the whole grindcore idea. Yes some tremolos and open string riffing with some palm mutes work well in the grindcore genre. So riffage gets a solid 14% for being plain good, and making a good impression for the later on work. Vocals live up to the whole grind idea too. Screeching and some snarling fit the music background perfectly. Some say that this is better than later Randy's work, but i beg to differ. This is grindcore as you said, and later's LoG work is groove metal. Two different things, so yes if you like grind more, then screeching blazing growling snarl vocals are better. Anyways vocals are pure agony on the vocal chords, just like grind vocals should be, the change between deeper and higher pitch ensure that the songs wouldn't be monotonous. So vocals get 17% for being close to perfection in the grind genre, although I preffer deeper gutturals and pig squealing.

Lyrics are also quite "hard" to understand, being surreal and fucking insane as they are(again a bit of Napalm Death here). Some may not like, some may, but all in all everyone must agree the lyrics have a good message, they don't have to be about killing and massacres to be good. So lyrics get 15% for being OK, out of the ordinary. The other thing that amazes me is Chris's drumming, his debut, because he started playing drums at the age of 21, and at the point when this album was recorded he played drums for 5 years or so, and already he tore them apart like he was doing it his whole life. Hard thrashy fast rhythms, fast blastbeats, slow sludgey rhythm, he had it all by the time this album was recorded. All of that worked very well with John's exceptionally simplistic yet efficient bass lines. So drumming gets 20% being very very amazing doing it's part in a grindcore band, and bass lines get 15% for working well as the rhythm section keeping together the whole sound.

Like I said this is the band's foundation work, with the "New American Gospel" being that transition between groovy grindcore and the Megadeth + Blood For Blood + Pantera mixture. So in which parts does this album fail? Well for one thing, it lacks the "Wow factor", although it is pretty good, pretty moshable and headbangable, in other words enjoyable. The other thing it fails in is originality, but it's nothing VERY crucial. The thing that mostly gets on my nerves is that "The Great Southern Trendkill" feeling, and that's a big minus for this album. So judging by my feelings, this album would get 11% less for these annoying facts, but objectively it's worth it's grade and most certainly your time. So if you like crunchy, fast-slow extremely moshable songs, then this is the album for you.

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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2016 9:17 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/U ... lator/3108

this
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stainedclass2112 wrote:
It was a joke you darn can of fizzy sweetened liquid

BastardHead wrote:
Somebody is getting murdered but poor razz just wants his beauty sleep.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2016 11:24 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Mob_Rules/Savage_Land/1974/hells_unicorn/29518

A 2005 track-by-track from hells. I appreciate that this is one of his much earlier reviews, but I don't think this qualifies as acceptable anymore.
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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:23 am 
 

hells_unicorn got mentioned in the fodder? Damn, what times do we live in... :nono:
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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2016 11:19 am 
 

Is this track-by-track review still acceptable: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... cDiet/1657

EDIT: Also, this one: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... cDiet/1657

EDIT2: I think somebody should check out HealthySonicDiet's reviews.
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I will pay a dollar to have Lich's custom title changed to "Drools into the Toilet Bowl"
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 99
Location: Krak-town
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2016 3:06 pm 
 

Pretty boring, a bit vague and painfully mediocre track-by-track review from 2004 with crappy formatting, a bunch of typos and grammar that leaves quite a lot to be desired. Then the phrase "slow death metal" is just atrocious and doesn't describe SD's music very accurately, but that's just my humble opinion so it doesn't really matter.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... tion/17207

Quote:
Brilliant Slow Death Metal - 95%
MnemonicInduction, September 12th, 2004

This album is an amazingly atmospheric and crushing slow death metal album. Released by this rather cult band in 1989 I think, not many have heard of them. But for sure tohse people are missing out. Every track here is brilliant slow miserable metal.
I will go through them track by track.
1) Creep-O-Rama starts with a some catchy lead work which pushes forward into the fastest song on the album. Pretty much fast all the way through, very brutal, reminds me of morbid angel.
2) Resurrection Cemetary is another quite brutal speedy number. This is only short and has few slow parts, but these parts hint at what is to come.
3) Devestating Empire Towards Humanity is a beautiful S.L.O.W death metal song. It starts with a piano/acoustic guitar intro which flows into the doomy riffs that proceed. This is very depressing and very like diSEMBOWELMENT. To me this is the best track on the album. Utter misery and brutality put to music. Amazing.
4) Dying Day starts abruptly with a riff that would sound out of place ont he previous song. This one is also very slow and doomy. Not as miserable or long as the last one. Or as fast and short as the first 2. It is more of a mid paced mid length track (but it brusts into speed near the end). Great deep barked vocals here and some catchy riffs. Even contains some evil spoken word vocals. Vocals remind me of Obituary but better.
5) Unperceivable Life again a short and brutal track. Very fast and then it suddenly fades out. Too much like track two to be original hence only 96% scoring for this album.
6) The finale starts with a riff slower than Devastating Empire Towards Humanity 's ones. This song has some solos in and keeps up the funereal pace mostly, though it picks up a bit but this still keeps the doomy atmosphere. The singer barks incomprehensibly here, brilliant. Very melancholic song which is a nice end to a great album.
This album changed my music views and helped me discover other slow death metal bands liek Winter, diSEMBOWELMENT, Sorrow, Unburied, Decomposed etc. Though this band is better than all of them. The cheesy title may put some off but the music is as brutal as it gets in some palces while utterly gloomy in others. An all round masterpiece.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 99
Location: Krak-town
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:26 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... hur/41801/

Both of these reviews are mediocre and overkill666 only reviewed Xasthur's side of the split.
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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 749
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:46 pm 
 

A track-by-track that accomplishes nothing.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... 1983/11833
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Emptiness Cycle
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:07 am
Posts: 417
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 11:33 am 
 

Quote:
a bit depressive, but really aggressive - 85%
brgo, April 14th, 2005
When i first listened to this demo i was shocked! The matterial is great and very well played. Some riffs seem to be complex, but are still played 100% accurate. I like their approach to black metal which is very aggresive, fast and a bit more depressed, especially lyrics sound a bit melancholic. Riffs are very diverse and fast, so you'll never get bored with them. The vocals are screaming (most time) and deep growling (few times) with some clean parts when the whole thing slows down. I think the only spoiler is production. It's too clean and polished for black metal, especially for a demo!! But their depressive touch adds black aura to atmosphere. Still a great demo!


http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... eon/12033/

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