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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 11:05 am 
 

Gone

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5352
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:25 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... nt/430308/
90% for basically the vocals exclusively. It loses points for the music. Barely describes the music.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:14 pm 
 

Well, disparity between scoring and review content isn't really our concern, obviously. An unbalanced review to be sure, and probably one that I would bestow a minimal (3 points) score upon if I was to appraise it again, but I'm not really feeling the nukage on this one. Of course, being the one that accepted it, I asked some of the other staff in the IRC chat to get an external perspective. Initial discourse leads to the review staying, though.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
Posts: 856
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 7:30 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... nmaiden/30

I have no complaints about writing style for the review above, (And even if I did, I wouldn't state them, as I'm not good enough a writer to criticise other people for shitty writing) but this review just has some patently false information in it: The reviewer calls Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk "Emperor's 3rd album."

I'm not sure whether this is worthy of incineration, but I just thought I would show the mods and let them decide.
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Kveldulfr
Veteran

Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 3698
Location: Nowhere
PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 8:07 am 
 

Ihsahn is misspelled. It says virtually nothing about the album itself; gay intro and a bunch of instruments.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
Posts: 856
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 8:10 am 
 

So probably worthy of incineration then?
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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:13 pm 
 

haha, that review's fucking dreadful. and he gave it 83% after listing a bunch of things that suck about it.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:29 pm 
 

gone

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~Guest 171512
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 2099
PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 5:54 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... ric27/6510

This guy clearly had no idea what he was talking about when he wrote this. Venom may have been influenced by NWOBHM? Hmmm, I wonder!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 7:00 pm 
 

poof

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5343
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 4:48 pm 
 

This thing is a bit thin, don't you think and it has not aged well.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 4:52 pm 
 

poof

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EyesOfGlass
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:59 pm
Posts: 186
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 11:48 am 
 

What do you think of these two? The second one is written in a very poor English.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... itten/2394
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... dian/50253
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:43 pm 
 

poof

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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 6400
PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 4:37 pm 
 

Not nuking material, but the review does have a blatant error: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... r11/212296
Quote:
For a miniscule, six songs at seven minutes EP, Wormrot should be credited for how engagingly each individual craft is crafted.

It's a five minute, five song EP. I have a physical copy of it. No idea where he got that from.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 5:11 pm 
 

poof

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Byrain
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:45 pm
Posts: 1306
PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:28 am 
 

Potential review for nuking.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... tWar/33511

The only musical descriptors it seems to have are, "the 'heavy metal' riffs, the dissonance, the two stupid vocal styles that unintentionally mock the opera format" and "Their mish-mash of cliched metaphors are mish-mashed into obvious and formulaic structures that ring of rock and roll fodder despite their experimental doom and industrial pretences." It is the only negative review however...

Spoiler: show
Quote:
I think a potential buyer of this album might appreciate an opinion unlike the two that preceded it, because I cannot relate to such enjoyment of 'Covet' whatsoever.

The lyrics are verbose because the music is vague bordering thin air. Everything about the album shouts 'token'; the 'heavy metal' riffs, the dissonance, the two stupid vocal styles that unintentionally mock the opera format.

They should have tried their hand at some other medium, because music was not a language they seemed able to harness. Their mish-mash of cliched metaphors are mish-mashed into obvious and formulaic structures that ring of rock and roll fodder despite their experimental doom and industrial pretences.

There is no sin in taking the general conventions of a genre for what they connotate to the artist and weaving this into a piece of music. That's how a lot of homogenous-to-the-ear genres took shape, albeit quite subtely. However, the songwriting of Black Lodge is so powerless that it becomes totally subservient to the limitations of each style they draw from, thus crushing all hopes of coherency.


Edit: Added spoiler tags


Last edited by Byrain on Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:33 am 
 

poof

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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 11:24 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... ton/123138

Spoiler: show
Due to the relentless evolving musical path Mortification chose very early on Triumph Of Mercy is their pinnacle in two ways: lyrically is the most extreme concept since Steve Rowe almost die due to a deadly leukemia so the lyrics revolve around this painful experience. Musically, however, as far as the last albums that I have listened to this is by miles the worst


I’d dare to say if you listen to ‘Mortification’ or even ‘Post Momentary Affliction’ this is a completely different band. Even worst is the fact that when promoting the album back then it was compared to SOTM! Not in a million years, this one certainly lacks heaviness, grind core, speed, well…pretty much all. However, I disagree with those morons who think they always buy a cd because of the music and the lyrics are no matter of importance. Those are complete idiots and ignorant and regardless of the thematic content the lyrics are always and in the end what an album is about. I am being objective because I like intelligent and challenging lyrics not matter if they are Christian or dark or tragic poetic (as those from Emperor) or fantasy-magic as in power metal, etc.


This album could be described as commercial thrash metal in the vein of new Megadeth with punk influences, hardcore influences, commercial melodic death metal and some other genres present. This new path began with Envision Evangeline but here it simply did not work. 85% of the songs are bad. We get a lot if rhythm mid tempo parts which are cool and very enjoyable since ultra heavy death metal annoys my ears after an entire album (exception Obituary and Cannibal Corpse whose albums are short and concise, straight to the point).


‘At war with war’ opens and it is actually not that bad. It is enjoyable; the problem lies with the guitar distortion which is horrible. The drumming department is more than terrible (said that with my EE review). It has nothing remarkable, not powerful and not death metal at all. The vocals certainly are out of shape. I give him the credit for singing death metal in his condition and the normal screaming fits the music. Thou, we all know Steve Rowe is not the best death metal singer when it comes to regular screaming voice. In this case the bass comes forth more than in other albums. The good part is that we now get a lot of guitar solos which is cool. Bass interludes are also present and again sometimes they are very disharmonic.


‘Triumph of Mercy’ goes next and now we get a bad song. I think he wrote the lyrics and he just simply put some music on it. Not bad if the result works out fine but with this one it simply did not work. The drumming rhythm part is super monotonous and the fast parts sound awful, simply that, terrible. What is cool is the tempo changes, very progressive and well structured but the flow of the song is what I have problems with due to the inconsistency of the lyrics FOR the music. The song has a spoken part very dark and growled with the bass going along. I would say this is a bass driven song. ‘Welcome to the Palodrome’ is a very good song, cool melodic guitars, very funky bass sound. The problem goes along with the drums again because they are lifeless. But the tempo and the flow are cool. The bass overshadows the guitar again. ‘From your side’ is a mid tempo song, very soft and very Megadeth and Metallica’s new metal style, commercial and rhythm guitar based with cool melodies on it. ‘Influence’ is a slow song and as bad as that from Bride which shares the same name. New Megadeth riffing style is again present. ‘Raw is the Stonewood Temple’ is another regular song. The mid tempo is cool but the regular voice parts suck. The grinding vocal parts are not bad. Cool melodies all around and very cool flow. ‘Unified Truth’ is completely forgettable and it resembles ‘The Destroyer Beholds’ in the pace, rhythm and tempo changes but of course without any heaviness. ‘Visited by an angel’ is what we could describe as Mortification’s first ballad and it is actually very good. It has a good melody and a good flow and the rhythm mid tempo part with the solo is very very good.. Kind of weird to close an album with a ballad but Steve Rowe is known for doing ‘non-standard’ things.


As far as I have heard ‘The Silvercord is Severed’ is even worst but I have not wanted to get more disappointed. For what is worth due to the commercial appeal this is one of the best selling Mortification records that it’s going to be reissued with some bonus tracks. I back up Steve due to his strong beliefs and under his health condition he was able to keep his brain working and he came up with some good parts but as for the album itself it does not deserve high scores because it simply lacks everything you can expect from this band.


i think this review gave me cancer. HA! HA!

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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 747
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 3:46 pm 
 

A mere four sentences describing the album.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... adek/92991

Spoiler: show
Buried beneath the buzzy, lo-fi production of Under the Sign of the Black Mark is some well crafted music. The songs vary quite a bit in tempo, but generally share a common structure: a driving, energetic base laid by the rhythm section, embellished by the occasional guitar lead (furious tremolo picking while the left hand meanders capriciously about the fretboard) and, most importantly, Quorthon's tremendous vocal performance. Quorthon's raspy delivery is pleasantly abrasive and yet the lyrics are clearly understandable.

The real magic of this album is the syncopated interplay between the vocals and the rhythm section, which generates an intensity none of Bathory's contemporaries in the late 1980s could rival. Unfortunately Bathory themselves would drift away from this formula in subsequent releases, as they began to forsake rhythmic complexity in favor of a more epic sound; and to my ears, none of their later albums ever managed to recapture the energy of this album. But this album itself remains a masterpiece, and arguably spawned an entire genre of music.
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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 3:59 am 
 

Obviously it's not my call, but I'd keep that one. It's not poorly written, and the description is pretty spot-on.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 4:53 am 
 

Short, but not bad. Probably would not accept if it popped up in the queue nowadays, but I really don't feel comfortable nuking this either, IMO.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5343
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 12:28 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... Death/9414
At least we learn something about the vocals that are great but can actually not be made out. :scratch:
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 1:32 am 
 

In the thread about reviewing one's own band, Cirith Ungol was namedropped. Robert reviewed three of his own albums a few years back and I looked at one of them (I've read all three before). Reading this one again, I find that it doesn't describe the album.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... rven/90397

Just lots of talk about what was going on with the album and Rob saying that he thinks it is the best one. He doesn't actually describe the album's content.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 2:22 am 
 

oneyoudontknow: poof

Ozzyapu: poof
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Opus
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2002 11:06 am
Posts: 4266
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 6:18 pm 
 

I think it should be a bannable offence to review black metal when you can't even recognize Alan Averill's vocals!

Reviewing Marduk's Rom 5:12, describing Mortuus:
"God, does this guy have alot of fire in his arsenal..such presence; Wait, whats that I hear on Accuser, opposer..is he trying to sing?! Yes, certified, confirmed and affirmed..the guy can also fucking sing!"
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... nchor92205
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 7:05 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Carnifex/Dead_in_My_Arms/161612/FrancesTheTool/80898

Really thin review on musical description. Spends 2-3 lines actually explaining what the album does, just hate for the sake of hate. And he says the album is "littered" with movie samples...yet it has only 2.

I mean, hate the band, that's okay by me, but at least prove you actually know what band you're hating. Honestly, this review is so goddamn basic you could paste it on literally every single deathcore album with only the names to replace. Bland and lacks depth.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2014 3:21 am 
 

poof

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TadakatsuH0nda
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:37 am
Posts: 402
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2014 6:23 pm 
 

I'm not one to criticize other people's work as I'm merely an average reviewer myself, but this is pretty bad: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... nitro/8697

The whole thing rants on about how awesome it is without actually ever describing a single thing about the music, just little things like "it's fun" or "the lyrics are good" and lines like "gives you the mood of a serial killar that targets children.".

Not sure if it's worth "poofing" or not, but it's pretty bad.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2014 6:26 pm 
 

poof

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 7:19 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Dying_Fetus/Reign_Supreme/337034/FullMetalAttorney/240636

For the love of all that's holy, please nuke this abomination, apart from the fact it's thin and flat as fuck as far as musical description goes (very general description, e.g. fast technical riffs) and no elaboration on what he types whatsoever, this review is so incredibly retarded it hurts my eyes looking at it.

He handles this album as if it's complete archetypical slam, as if Dying Fetus are the most typical slam death band on earth, when in reality they're more like technical death/grind with occasional BDM influences. Slam? No. There are a couple of slams found on this album, but they're hardly typical slams.

The review is far too basic and has a lack of depth, it's dumb as fuck and completely mishits the nail. Completely. And even outside of that the review is just terrible and way, way too thin.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing BastardHead's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:23 am 
 

It's really, really rare that we ever end up nuking reviews for factual inaccuracy.

Today was a rare day.
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EyesOfGlass
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:59 pm
Posts: 186
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:05 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... eath/51767

Pretty self-explanatory. Bad grammar, bad puntuaction, wrong vocabulary and he makes stupid assumptions.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:31 pm 
 

poof

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:48 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... ymn/175310

Quote:
I am not going to waste anybody's time with some bullshit detail-by-detail description of all the songs.

And he didn't. He doesn't describe the album. He gives it a 100% (rightfully so) but doesn't go into the music. Drops "folk" but just read it and you'll know what I mean when I say he doesn't go into describing the music. Pure jizzing over an album.
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:56 pm 
 

poof

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 6:22 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Funebrarum/Beneath_the_Columns_of_Abandoned_Gods/27458/brainsmasher/698

Ehm...short much? Very little musical description as well.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing BastardHead's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 7:51 am 
 

Personally I'd let that through as a three pointer. I know exactly what the album sounds like based on that review. It's not great, but we have the three point category for a reason.
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bug_man
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 12:11 am
Posts: 377
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:58 am 
 

this one is pretty bad: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... epth/20455

he does go into what the 3 bands sound like but not in much detail. but on the other hand no one else is probably going to review that split so maybe it should be left up.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:45 am 
 

One sentence per band? Yeah fuck that, outta here.

The old "it has no other reviews so chances are we should keep it" is an archaic tribal rule. If it sucks, it shouldn't be here. The standards do not change regardless of how many reviews a release may or may not have.
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