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Oven Fodder (AKA Why was this review accepted? Provide LINKS, please)

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SharpAndSlender
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:49 am
Posts: 2260
Location: Bradenton, Florida

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:05 am

Come on guys, we all know that if it wasn't Boris that wrote it everyone would agree it should be nuked. There's only a thousand other reviews for that album.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10865
Location: Oswego, Illinois

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 12:45 pm

That's the correct answer right there. Part of me wishes there was a way to run some sort of experiment by changing his name and see if there'd suddenly be a flood of his early reviews being called for deletion.

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WaywardSon
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:48 am
Posts: 903

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:35 pm

There's plenty of his that need/needed to be canned, but I just don't think that one is particularly bad.

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DomDomMCMG
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:11 am
Posts: 107
Location: United Kingdom

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:36 pm

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... Slasher666
It seems to just be a rant about how the author hates deathcore and does not talk about the music at all. I'm honestly wondering how it got accepted.

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Radagast
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 6:41 pm
Posts: 225
Location: United Kingdom

Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:15 pm

Bahamut7 wrote:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Budgie/Impeckable/2757/jbknot

This review is one big paragraph and I can't help but think it could have easily been separated into three paragraphs. Shame, really since I want to see more reviews for Budgie's releases.

I've divided it up a little rather than scrapping it, it's less of an eyesore now. The content is a little questionable in patches to be honest, but, as you say, Budgie reviews are a rarity.

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7733
Location: Pennsylvania

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:04 pm

As much as I love Operation: Mindcrime and those who praise it, what the fuck is this?!

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Q ... TheFek1834

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:15 pm

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:34 pm

at that shitty Queensryche review.

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2833
Location: United States

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:38 pm

Quote:

Think of a football team that had 2 8-8 seasons, followed a 16-0 season in which they won the Super Bowl, followed by a 7-9 season, followed by no better than 4-12 since 1990. That championship season looks like a fluke, huh? That fluke is Mindcrime. You can't discredit flukes, because quality is quality. If it wasn't for Mindcrime, the members of this band would have day jobs right now instead of coming out with new music. THAT'S a true testament to how good it was.

What the fuck is this guy talking about?

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2789

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:08 pm

GuntherTheUndying wrote:

Quote:

What the fuck is this guy talking about?

The quality of the band's releases. They had two average albums, a great one, a mediocre one, and a slew of shitty ones since 1990.

But yeah, I'd bet the mod who accepted that was drunk.

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Guitarpro77889 wrote:

which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7733
Location: Pennsylvania

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:11 pm

MalignantThrone wrote:

The quality of the band's releases. They had two average albums, a great one, a mediocre one, and a slew of shitty ones since 1990.

But yeah, I'd bet the mod who accepted that was drunk.

His review is factually wrong, too:

The EP, The Warning, Promised Land, and Tribe were all fucking awesome. And Hear in the Now Frontier and Rage for Order were decent.

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2789

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:24 pm

Zelkiiro wrote:

MalignantThrone wrote:

The quality of the band's releases. They had two average albums, a great one, a mediocre one, and a slew of shitty ones since 1990.

But yeah, I'd bet the mod who accepted that was drunk.

His review is factually wrong, too:

The EP, The Warning, Promised Land, and Tribe were all fucking awesome. And Hear in the Now Frontier and Rage for Order were decent.

Well fuck if I would know, my experience with Queensryche is limited to having listened to my mom's copy of Empire a few years back. :lol:

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Guitarpro77889 wrote:

which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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Painkiller1349
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:45 pm
Posts: 172

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:46 pm

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... mesymphony

This is the most worthless piece of shit review I've ever seen on this site. This guy tries so hard to act like he knows a lot about guitar playing, drumming, and music theory, but in reality he's so ignorant of those topics that if you didn't know better you'd think he was reviewing a different album.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10865
Location: Oswego, Illinois

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:54 pm

Well it certainly isn't a good review, there are strange spelling errors all over the place an dmisplaced spaces inseveral spot slikethis, but he does make his point. It's really juvenile but I've seen worse. I wouldn't be sad to see it go, but I won't raise the flag quite yet.

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Bahamut7
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 4:29 pm
Posts: 213
Location: United Kingdom

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:33 pm

Zelkiiro wrote:

As much as I love Operation: Mindcrime and those who praise it, what the fuck is this?!

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Q ... TheFek1834

I needed a laugh after a rainy day even if the review said nothing but nonsense about American football. :lol:

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:01 pm

Another shit UltraBoris review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... UltraBoris

This one has "speed metal" and "speed metal" in the first and last paragraphs as the only real musical descriptions to let anyone know what the hell is being played on this album. "sing-a-long" (second paragraph) is the next description of any worth, then the rest turns into typical UB bashing. Awful review well passed it's time. Basically a big "this album fucking sucks" review he probably cranked out in 5 minutes.

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 11201
Location: Ob der Enns, Austria

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:55 pm

OzzyApu wrote:

Another shit UltraBoris review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... UltraBoris

Deleted.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 2:15 pm

Awesome, but no deleting this?

OzzyApu wrote:

All right, I gotta put this review on the table again. Written in August of 2002, when the site was still in its infancy, it was needed. Now? Hell no. Just a garbage review that's only alive because UltraBoris' name is tagged to it. Many of his reviews have been purged, but somehow this one is still alive.

Hardly any descriptions on the music besides the "this kicks ass!", which doesn't explain anything except that he really likes the album. 97% with barely any reasoning behind his statements. He starts off telling us how Machine Head kiddies are tools that'll never hear Vio-lence, but for a review this short, that sentence is at least 8% of the review. Doesn't explain much more than that except riffs (no description, he just says that there are riffs and how much he loves them), over the top vocals with no explanation of what makes them over the top, and a genre name drop. Saying something is thrash metal is a very, very, very broad way to explain what music the band plays.

Holy hell is this review awful, and in 2011 there are a LOT of reviews after his that explain the album better: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... UltraBoris

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usernamepassword
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 7:13 am
Posts: 1119

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:00 am

Give it up already

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KillingFloor
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:27 pm
Posts: 385

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 9:16 am

No, why should he give it up? That shit needs to be deleted, and fast.

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usernamepassword
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 7:13 am
Posts: 1119

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:52 am

then you might as well go delete this one too because it's honestly much worse than anything I've ever seen from UltraBoris

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KillingFloor
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:27 pm
Posts: 385

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:58 am

I suppose you posted that expecting me to disagree (why, though?). However, I agree with you, that one can and should go, too.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 12:02 pm

This review of Amorphis - Far From the Sun should be deleted for having misleading, factually incorrect description of the music.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... e_Hellship

Quote:

It's all keyboard-laden techno crap. The guitar riffs and leads are barely listeneable underneat the idiotic trying-to-sound-prog-rock electronic effects and keyboards.

There are scarcely any electronic effects at all. "Keyboard laden" must refer to the use of Hammond and some background synth, or else I'm at loss. Anyone who knows the album surely agrees. Out of all Amorphis's albums, this one has the most similarity with 70s Black Sabbath albums. The reviewer calls it alternative rock and techno.

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caspian
Old Man Yells at Car Park

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6414
Location: Australia

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:48 am

Ozzy, that's a short, concise and very readable review by UB. If you want to delete that, then it's pretty fair to say you're a pedantic mofo who likes dicks in his ass.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:14 pm

That UltraBoris review doesn't really tell me anything about the album other than that it's thrash with over-the-top vocals. That Cheeses_Priced review doesn't really tell me anything about the album, either, only that it doesn't sound like anything else and that Phil Anselmo is playing guitar.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:21 pm

droneriot wrote:

That UltraBoris review doesn't really tell me anything about the album other than that it's thrash with over-the-top vocals.

Exactly. People need to get over short-and-concise excuse for that UB review because it's far too bare-bones.

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Razakel
Nekroprince

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:36 pm
Posts: 6239
Location: Canada

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:57 am

Ilwhyan wrote:

This review of Amorphis - Far From the Sun should be deleted for having misleading, factually incorrect description of the music.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... e_Hellship

Quote:

It's all keyboard-laden techno crap. The guitar riffs and leads are barely listeneable underneat the idiotic trying-to-sound-prog-rock electronic effects and keyboards.

Yeah, that is a very retarded review. I can't agree with you that it sounds like '70s Sabbath though, because that would entail that it's an awesome album. I'm a devout Amorphis fanboy, but Far From the Sun is pretty limp dick compared to all of their other albums. The only time I've really heard Black Sabbath influence in Amorphis is some riffs on Tales From the Thousand Lakes. But whatever, that review is garbage and probably should be deleted.

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soul_schizm
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:55 am
Posts: 764
Location: United States

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:58 pm

OzzyApu wrote:

droneriot wrote:

That UltraBoris review doesn't really tell me anything about the album other than that it's thrash with over-the-top vocals.

Exactly. People need to get over short-and-concise excuse for that UB review because it's far too bare-bones.

Eh, they are for the most part old and short reviews. At least when I click on one, I know what I'm going to read.

Is there a certain value to being the first at something? I guess so. I wouldn't want all his reviews deleted. I still read them.

Whatever. I don't see the point to drudging up all of UltraBoris' old stuff. Leave it be, IMHO.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland

Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 7:06 am

Razakel wrote:

Well at least aknowledge that Killing Goodness is a almost completely ripped off from Children of the Grave. It's true, though, that it's to date their weakest album. I haven't heard the new album, though.

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Razakel
Nekroprince

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:36 pm
Posts: 6239
Location: Canada

Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:02 am

The new one's great in my opinion. Battle for Light and the title track are some of the best songs of the Joutsen era. Planning on reviewing it pretty soon.

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mindshadow
Echoes in an empty cranium

Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:36 am
Posts: 2004
Location: Panopticon

Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 2:18 pm

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... oi/108501/

As if giving Epheles 10% was bad enough,
Quote;

Quote:

Epheles is a relatively new band coming from the Black Metal wasteland of France that has managed to fool many people

I didn't read much beyond that (just the last paragraph slagging Xasthur) as I feel France is one of the leading lights of black metal. Also where's the paragraph breaks?

Edit: Oathbound 20%? That's an insult. It does go on a bit but it's superb musicianship.

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States

Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 10:14 pm

This one hardly says anything about the music, other than some comparisons about how evil it sounds. There are six other reviews that actually describe the music.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... nteaguilar

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SwarteHeap
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:52 am
Posts: 410

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:07 am

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... ach/24450/

There are no other reviews for this release, and it does make some attempt at describing the music, but ...

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:28 am

He calls it NSBM. Perhaps next time he should read the lyrics before making such statements.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:36 am

droneriot wrote:

:lol: He calls it NSBM. Perhaps next time he should read the lyrics before making such statements.

He should read what the fucking band page says.

Quote:

Winterblut is often mistaken for an NSBM band due to the release of the first album "Der 6. Danach" on the infamous Darker Than Black.
Contrary to these rumours L'Hiver has openly distanced himself from national socialist ideology.

Not very hard to find.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:56 am

That was added by me, and I only joined in 2004, the review however is from 2003.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:35 pm

Removed for factual inaccuracy.

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vigaljot
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 2:28 pm
Posts: 25
Location: Italy

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:58 am

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... wnDeparted

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5343
Location: Germany

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:49 am

what is the problem with it?

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 11:53 am

There's barely any musical description at all. "Industrial / techno" is about as far and specific as that reviewer got. The rest of the review is him blabbering because he's so appalled at how shitty the album is.

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Oven Fodder (AKA Why was this review accepted? Provide LINKS, please)

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