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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 6:49 pm 
 
Nuked for being riddled with typos. I didn't even bother (or need) to look at it thoroughly.
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 11:05 pm 
 
It's kind of weird putting this in oven fodder because I think it's a really good review, but he's only reviewing half the split... :scratch:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... yern/81007
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8855
Location: Yorkshire
PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 7:15 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... _666/47742

Regardless of the review this has the world's worst formatting. :(
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:56 pm 
 
What is that formatting?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Sentenced/The_Funeral_Album/68899/Silence/5281
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 1:26 pm 
 
I just fixed the formatting myself, then realize it was a track by track so I rejected it in the end.
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 2:45 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... tir/123274

Track by track
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Andre Gaius
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:11 pm
Posts: 71
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 1:43 pm 
 
Shitty reviews... Too short and poorly descriptive.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... sher/13129

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... sher/13129
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 2:02 pm 
 
poof
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Andre Gaius
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:11 pm
Posts: 71
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 4:38 pm 
 
Short, maybe insufficient.
Some typos, anyway.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... riced/5966
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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 749
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:21 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... oster/5636

An obnoxious track-by-track for the 1993 reissue of Hammer Horror.
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Helvede
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:28 pm
Posts: 1676
PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 2:11 pm 
 
droneriot wrote:
It's kind of weird putting this in oven fodder because I think it's a really good review, but he's only reviewing half the split... :scratch:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... yern/81007


I came to point out the exact same issue.
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Roffle_the_Thrashard
Thrash Slinging Slasher

Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:18 pm
Posts: 186
Location: The Place With The People And Stuff
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:52 pm 
 
Ugly formatting:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... aner/96711

Uglier formatting, improper punctuation, and just plain awful to read/cringy:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... sher/20468
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Lich Coldheart wrote:
However, all in all, this is pretty much it.
https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Incredulous/3540423870
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5872
Location: 717
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 8:25 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... orth/16907

Super short and doesn't say much besides "it's Transylvanian Hunger with a keyboard".
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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 8:19 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... lord/10546

A shit track-by-track review.
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 5:03 am 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... rski/20381
Well, this is just bad.
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My band. FFO Morbid Angel, Inter Arma, Imperial Triumphant, Slint

stainedclass2112 wrote:
It was a joke you darn can of fizzy sweetened liquid

BastardHead wrote:
Somebody is getting murdered but poor razz just wants his beauty sleep.
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Jophelerx
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:22 pm
Posts: 1477
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 7:03 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... Skyklad/96
Jesus this is terrible.
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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 9:58 am 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... ells/43256

Constantly comparing the album to the previous one, and just really uninformative.
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Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.
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WR95
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 39
Location: Paraguay
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:29 pm 
 
What do you think about this review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... onsbane/38 - This user bitch about the production, for him, Rust in Peace must have been a brutal work, and complains for being a weak release in production, worst mixes bla bla

And in this review http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... r90/125312 - This user says "If looseness and ferocity of the music was all that matters, then these guys would be the champions of the subgenre, as they rarely slow down during the whole album"

Who is right?, Many metalheads don't see Rust in Peace as a very very pure thrash album, but as a speed thrash album yes, and that everyone knows, in my opinion, the first review isn't right.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:34 pm 
 
WR95 wrote:
What do you think about this review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... onsbane/38 - This user bitch about the production, for him, Rust in Peace must have been a brutal work, and complains for being a weak release in production, worst mixes bla bla

And in this review http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... r90/125312 - This user says "If looseness and ferocity of the music was all that matters, then these guys would be the champions of the subgenre, as they rarely slow down during the whole album"

Who is right?, Many metalheads don't see Rust in Peace as a very very pure thrash album, but as a speed thrash album yes, and that everyone knows, in my opinion, the first review isn't right.


You're a fucking idiot.

So what, we should reject all reviews you don't agree with? :getout: with this crap. Stop wasting our time. Learn to write competent reviews on your own instead of taking out your frustration on everyone else.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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WR95
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 39
Location: Paraguay
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:39 pm 
 
Diamhea wrote:
WR95 wrote:
What do you think about this review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... onsbane/38 - This user bitch about the production, for him, Rust in Peace must have been a brutal work, and complains for being a weak release in production, worst mixes bla bla

And in this review http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... r90/125312 - This user says "If looseness and ferocity of the music was all that matters, then these guys would be the champions of the subgenre, as they rarely slow down during the whole album"

Who is right?, Many metalheads don't see Rust in Peace as a very very pure thrash album, but as a speed thrash album yes, and that everyone knows, in my opinion, the first review isn't right.


You're a fucking idiot.

So what, we should reject all reviews you don't agree with? :getout: with this crap. Stop wasting our time. Learn to write competent reviews on your own instead of taking out your frustration on everyone else.

Go listen Violator. Surely you're not the only moderator... and there will be another who listens to my prayers.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:47 pm 
 
Nobody is going to warrant such ridiculous "rationale" when it comes to nuking reviews.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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WR95
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 39
Location: Paraguay
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 10:01 pm 
 
Diamhea wrote:
Nobody is going to warrant such ridiculous "rationale" when it comes to nuking reviews.

You hurts to know that certain user contradicts brutally. Metal_Thrasher90 rules. Falconsbane sucks. Only you answer there? Are there another moderator who listen to my prayer? Ohhhh God.


Last edited by Diamhea on Fri Mar 25, 2016 10:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Warned for abusing this thread's purpose

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Tlacaxipehualiztli
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2009 3:03 pm
Posts: 111
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:19 am 
 
Typos, spelling errors.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... ain/42134/
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laxskinn
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:12 pm
Posts: 213
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:55 am 
 
Tlacaxipehualiztli wrote:
Typos, spelling errors.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... ain/42134/

Imho calling black metal bands "hordes" should be insta-reject.
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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 7631
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:21 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... uel/132884

a dickhead who can't read subtext. this should absolutely be removed.
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Helvede
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:28 pm
Posts: 1676
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:25 am 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... perium/924

Kind of short, superficial and not par with the four other excellent reviews. It's not really doing us, the reviewer or the album any favour.
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 10:10 am 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Mr._Bungle/California/4015/DeathsColdEmbrace/883

No, you can do the album justice without resorting to a track-by-track, as the seven subsequent reviews prove.
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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 10:32 pm 
 
I'm pretty sure the individual scores he gives for each song don't add up to 98%. Could he have flipped the numbers? I don't think so. Do your math properly next time.
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2016 12:38 pm 
 
laxskinn wrote:
Tlacaxipehualiztli wrote:
Typos, spelling errors.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... ain/42134/

Imho calling black metal bands "hordes" should be insta-reject.


Haha, even I'm not as harsh on black metal as this guy. Impressive.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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laxskinn
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:12 pm
Posts: 213
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 1:50 pm 
 
Diamhea wrote:
laxskinn wrote:
Imho calling black metal bands "hordes" should be insta-reject.


Haha, even I'm not as harsh on black metal as this guy. Impressive.

Haha, I'm not (consciously) trying to be black metal elitist. Rather the opposite. They are bands, just like with all other genres. Saying hordes or legions just sounds so lame. The same goes for people saying "infernal hails" ;)
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:34 pm 
 
Another day, another shitty track by track.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V8/Luchando_por_el_metal/7908/PhantomLord86/96041
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Dembo
Dumbo

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:58 am
Posts: 2183
PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2016 6:58 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... eth/134154

Track-by-track, bad spelling, CAPITALIZATION, poorly written in general.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Woodstock, IL
PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 10:56 am 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Vlad_Tepes_-_Belk%C3%A8tre/March_to_the_Black_Holocaust/44733/mehoff_of_jackness/22097

He says it's all bad, then says it's amazing all in 1.2 paragraphs.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7733
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 10:22 pm 
 
Someone help me! Oh please, God, help me!! This review's a big ol' smelly turd!

He goes on and on about anti-poser attitude and whatnot, and rants about "Fade to Black" for way too long, offering little in the way of criticism aside from it being "mainstream" and "plodding." If I don't know what the fuck the album sounds like, this review sure as hell doesn't help.
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ingmar birdman
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2014 10:23 am
Posts: 207
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:58 am 
 
This review sucks big time: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... ero/145586

Includes the line "The faggot tendencies that would define Axis of Advance..." and accuses anyone who likes this album of being a numetal fan or a poser.

Much like the review Zelkiiro mentioned above, I feel like if you have to invoke the word "faggot" (or "James Hetfag") to articulate why you don't like a particular album, you probably shouldn't be reviewing in the first place.
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Klaagzang
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:36 am
Posts: 79
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 2:37 pm 
 
Poorly written, grammatical errors, short, uninformative, and, of course, the reviewer had to mention the completely redundant cover done by Nargaroth.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... ing/29400/
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 3:21 pm 
 
Not particularly poorly written, doesn't have any glaring grammatical issues or typos that I can see, and describes the sound of the demo sufficiently.

Can't find a reason to nuke this one. Don't let personal opinions cloud your judgement when nominating reviews for this thread.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2016 7:36 am 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... yem/118070

Barely describes the music

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... ce25/31252

Poorly written track by track
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last.fm
My band. FFO Morbid Angel, Inter Arma, Imperial Triumphant, Slint

stainedclass2112 wrote:
It was a joke you darn can of fizzy sweetened liquid

BastardHead wrote:
Somebody is getting murdered but poor razz just wants his beauty sleep.
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Purabid
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 5:01 am
Posts: 310
PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:32 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... hunder/748

Says absolutely nothing about the music
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Purabid
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 5:01 am
Posts: 310
PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:49 pm 
 
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... OrIs/11446

This is just awful. "Very nice sounding sound." Spells guitar as geetar. Writes nood instead of mood. Calls Cult of Luna death core. And the review finishes abruptly without any conclusion or anything like that
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