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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
Posts: 663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:38 am 
 

joncheetham88 wrote:
I could have sworn I had a review for Oshiego's 2012 EP on this site that I wrote in early 2013, but it isn't there any more. I'm not sure if it was binned for some reason or what happened, but rather than stick it back on and just have it disappear again without knowing why I thought I'd submit it here. If anyone cares to give some comments on the review I'd be obliged. It's a pretty short one but hopefully it imprints a message of "go and spend three dollars on CDBaby" on the reader. The band themselves seemed to like it at least, but if there's something about it that makes it incompatible with MA's needs that's understandably a different issue.

Spoiler: show
For a tiny country that's pretty much all metropolis, Singapore bristles with an intensely respectable extreme metal scene - and has done so since Dead was alive. Oshiego's debut album Woe to the Conquered put another name on a list that includes such unbridled ferocity as Helvette and Blood Division, and that's just recent bands. This digital EP raises the band's stakes in dirty and ferocious death metal, and whether it is the mix, the songwriting or a certain evil atmosphere in the studio at the time of recording, The Heretic Priests of Amon takes absolutely no prisoners.

We got three songs here. Among the kind of majestic leads I've been given to expect by Woe to the Conquered, 'Blade of the Conqueror' erupts with a savage and barbaric force; the drums rattle as ex-Impiety man Fauzt rages away with blasting punishment and Morgan and Kadir craft a murky hell of razoring riffs. Despite the strange dead stop in the middle the track is among the most relentless the band have unleashed. I'm impressed that they've kept the character of their debut, while enhancing their level of battering brutality.

The recipe and effect is much the same with the title song, albeit with a more groaning, grooving carapace. It certainly makes them a good fit with Thailand's bestiality-dominated festivals when they come to tour. 'Legions of the Nemesis' starts out sounding pretty Swedish, but eventually fucks off into the land of harmonized riffs and some melodic swirls that somehow work very nicely in the violent context. Why not chuck in some kind of Slayer-style solo. Ah, they did. The songwriting is at a high standard here, I can't fault them for it, and the somewhat raw production is working nicely although I'm sure future full-length efforts will again feature a bit more of a chunky sheen.

One minor complaint but not quite complaint is the lack of Legacy of Kain inspired lyrics, but with songwriting like this I am compelled to be forgiving.


If it was deleted it wasn't me as i've never seen this one. I'll leave the feedback for the users but in terms of site standards, I see no reason why this would have deleted after it was already up.
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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 452
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:40 am 
 

theunrelentingattack wrote:
joncheetham88 wrote:
I could have sworn I had a review for Oshiego's 2012 EP on this site that I wrote in early 2013, but it isn't there any more. I'm not sure if it was binned for some reason or what happened, but rather than stick it back on and just have it disappear again without knowing why I thought I'd submit it here. If anyone cares to give some comments on the review I'd be obliged. It's a pretty short one but hopefully it imprints a message of "go and spend three dollars on CDBaby" on the reader. The band themselves seemed to like it at least, but if there's something about it that makes it incompatible with MA's needs that's understandably a different issue.

Spoiler: show
For a tiny country that's pretty much all metropolis, Singapore bristles with an intensely respectable extreme metal scene - and has done so since Dead was alive. Oshiego's debut album Woe to the Conquered put another name on a list that includes such unbridled ferocity as Helvette and Blood Division, and that's just recent bands. This digital EP raises the band's stakes in dirty and ferocious death metal, and whether it is the mix, the songwriting or a certain evil atmosphere in the studio at the time of recording, The Heretic Priests of Amon takes absolutely no prisoners.

We got three songs here. Among the kind of majestic leads I've been given to expect by Woe to the Conquered, 'Blade of the Conqueror' erupts with a savage and barbaric force; the drums rattle as ex-Impiety man Fauzt rages away with blasting punishment and Morgan and Kadir craft a murky hell of razoring riffs. Despite the strange dead stop in the middle the track is among the most relentless the band have unleashed. I'm impressed that they've kept the character of their debut, while enhancing their level of battering brutality.

The recipe and effect is much the same with the title song, albeit with a more groaning, grooving carapace. It certainly makes them a good fit with Thailand's bestiality-dominated festivals when they come to tour. 'Legions of the Nemesis' starts out sounding pretty Swedish, but eventually fucks off into the land of harmonized riffs and some melodic swirls that somehow work very nicely in the violent context. Why not chuck in some kind of Slayer-style solo. Ah, they did. The songwriting is at a high standard here, I can't fault them for it, and the somewhat raw production is working nicely although I'm sure future full-length efforts will again feature a bit more of a chunky sheen.

One minor complaint but not quite complaint is the lack of Legacy of Kain inspired lyrics, but with songwriting like this I am compelled to be forgiving.


If it was deleted it wasn't me as i've never seen this one. I'll leave the feedback for the users but in terms of site standards, I see no reason why this would have deleted after it was already up.

Thanks for the feedback man. I'll leave it a couple of days and then stick it back up. Just thought it's better to be on the safe side and put it out there first, as I don't know what happened to it either!
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 5577
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 11:04 am 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
I definitely support the concept of GNBM and various conflicting regional scenes. I imagine the American GNBM scene would be viewed worldwide in the same ironic light of comedy as the Slavic NS bands are currently.

:lol:
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 833
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 11:29 am 
 

I deleted all my reviews recently cause I didn't like some of them, but wanted to just edit and start over on a lot of the others... Suppose I should have just edited them and resubmitted to make it less annoying, but I wanted to change up my scoring methods and let my drafts sit for awhile before deciding which ones to keep and which to delete. Seemed easier to me to sort of start with a clean slate. I'm really not the best writer or reviewer but I listen to so much metal that I should be able to form some decent reviews. Would like some feedback from anyone, like the mods who have to approve/reject them or just whoever.
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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
Posts: 663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 12:52 pm 
 

Sick6Six wrote:
I deleted all my reviews recently cause I didn't like some of them, but wanted to just edit and start over on a lot of the others... Suppose I should have just edited them and resubmitted to make it less annoying, but I wanted to change up my scoring methods and let my drafts sit for awhile before deciding which ones to keep and which to delete. Seemed easier to me to sort of start with a clean slate. I'm really not the best writer or reviewer but I listen to so much metal that I should be able to form some decent reviews. Would like some feedback from anyone, like the mods who have to approve/reject them or just whoever.


Personally, I have no problem with anything in there. The only feedback I would give is that just like we don't want track-by-track reviews we are gradually trying to get away from instrument-by-instrument ones as well, of which some of them are close to that. Even so, solid enough to accept.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 833
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 1:01 pm 
 

Thanks, getting away from instrument by instrument would actually probably make it easier and stop me from writing the same thing on multiple reviews. I hate trying to explain drums, vocals and bass in a different way on every review when half the time they are more or less the same in the style of music I listen to most. Will keep that in mind for sure.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5074
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 10:38 am 
 

When he says "we're gradually moving away from instrument-by-instrument reviews", he means "for fuck's sake don't do instrument-by-instrument reviews because they're a poor crutch equatable to track-by-track in terms of consistently low quality; checklist reviews are terrible and they make BH and Zodi homicidal".

Really, there's a reason my rejection message says "checklist style" instead of "track-by-track"
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Panflute
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:11 am
Posts: 447
PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 11:29 am 
 

Sick6Six wrote:
Thanks, getting away from instrument by instrument would actually probably make it easier and stop me from writing the same thing on multiple reviews. I hate trying to explain drums, vocals and bass in a different way on every review when half the time they are more or less the same in the style of music I listen to most. Will keep that in mind for sure.


Yeah, the problem with those reviews is exactly that they generate way too much filler material that nobody really cares about. If you hate writing about something, that's a good indication that people will also hate reading it.

Particularly when reviewers attach individual ratings to each song, reading the review is about as entertaining as reading someone's high school report card.
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zstrrr
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:19 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 5:08 am 
 

hello everyone,

I tried to post my first review, but it was rejected, because the english would be so bad "...to the point in which the review makes almost no sense". I´m no native speaker and i admit my english is not the best, but i thought it would be ok. anyway, i can´t recognize the errors - could anybody take a look and tell me whats wrong?

"...and justice for Lulu

I´m in the rare position to be a fan - to some extend - of both Lou Reed and Metallica. So it´s no wonder i´d supposed to like it. well, to some extend, i do.

I don´t want to moan here much about how Metallica aren´t a great band anymore, because they are lost to me since they got a coach instead of calling it quits after the mediocre "Load" of whatshouldwedoaboutwhouyeahyeah, or better before. I liked them partly because I respect when someone leans a little out of the conventional by-the-rule-playing and goes out and finds something new. Wich Lou Reed didn´t do either since "Metal Machine Music". So this album starts not surprisingly and not very interesting for me with songs that are exactly like you would expect a crossing between Reed and nowadays-Metallica. Conventional tame rock-songs like "Brandenburg Gate", where Reed by the way shows how much better he is than Hetfield, even if he´s mostly speaking (if Hetfield would evolve his singing he would do his band the biggest favor...)

But then they loosen up the form and tighten up the tension at the same time - with pieces like "Mistress Dread" and "Pumping Blood", wich are for me some of the most exciting music in the last years. That´s where the contrast of Reed´s voice and Metallicas´ playing is the perfect match.

No wonder that it is not liked here very much because it´s shurely not a proper Metal-Album. That does not bother me - what bothers me, a little, is it´s length - it´s a long time runner, but that´s all a little too long. But since "Load" them `tally-guys lost any sense of measure anyway..."

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2102
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:35 pm 
 

I'm just going to go through and correct each individual error. If you have a question about why a certain thing is incorrect, ask and I'll explain it. :)
zstrrr wrote:
"...and justice for Lulu

I´m in the rare position to be of being a fan - to some extend extent ("extend" is a verb) - of both Lou Reed and Metallica. So it´s no wonder i´d I was supposed to like it. well, to some extend extent, i do.

I don´t want to moan here much complain (your construction here is correct but rather strange) about how Metallica aren´t a great band anymore, because they are lost dead to me since they got now that they have a coach (strange word choice) instead of calling it quits after the mediocre "Load" of whatshouldwedoaboutwhouyeahyeah, or better before (this construction isn't very clear - are you referring to the albums before Load? If so, it needs to be written as "or even better, before"). I liked them partly because I respect when someone leans a little out of the conventional by-the-rule-playing and goes out and finds something new. Wich Which Lou Reed didn´t do hasn't done either since "Metal Machine Music" (This is an incomplete sentence - "which" always has to modify another word in the sentence unless you're phrasing it as a question.) So this album starts starts out sounding [in this case] not surprisingly predictable and not very interesting boring for me, with songs that are exactly like you would expect a crossing crossover - alternatively, "mix" between Reed and nowadays-Metallica ("modern Metallica" might sound more natural). Conventional tame rock-songs ("rock songs", with no hyphen, would look more natural) like "Brandenburg Gate", where Reed, by the way, shows how much better he is than Hetfield, even if he´s mostly speaking (if Hetfield would evolve his singing, he would do his band the biggest favor...)

But then they loosen up the form and tighten up the tension at the same time - with pieces like "Mistress Dread" and "Pumping Blood", wich which are for me in my opinion (this isn't incorrect by itself, but you should almost always use "in my opinion" to state preferences in English) some of the most exciting music in the last past few years. That´s where the contrast of Reed´s voice and Metallicas´ Metallica's (note apostrophe placement) playing is the perfect match.

It's no wonder that it is not liked here very much it's disliked so much here (this isn't incorrect but it's very long-winded) because it´s shurely surely not a proper Metal-Album metal album. That does not (doesn't) bother me - what bothers me, a little, is it´s its ("its" is not a possessive of "it", even though it looks like it should be; confusing rule) length - it´s a long time runner, but that´s all a little too long (I'd say rewrite this, there are better ways to phrase the idea of the album being long).. But since "Load", them `tally-guys (I'm presuming this is jokingly incorrect, which is fine ;) ) lost any sense of measure anyway..."


One tip I can give you right off the bat is to remember when you can use contractions! They'll go a really long way towards making you sound like a native speaker. Wherever English uses a contraction, you would normally only "decompose" it if you were asking a question or using it for emphasis. So remember, for negative contractions (ones involving the word "not"):

is not - isn't
are not - aren't
can not - can't
could not - couldn't
do not - don't
does not - doesn't
has not - hasn't (this one can only be used where "hasn't" is an auxiliary verb. "He has not eaten → he hasn't eaten" is correct, but if you mean "have" as in "to possess" then you can't contract that)
should not - shouldn't
will not - won't
would not - wouldn't

Note that "am not", "might not", "must not" and "shall not" cannot be contracted, as the word for it is either incorrect ("ain't", for the case of "am not"; only some English dialects use it, and it's not correct in Standard English) or it's so obscure that you'll look very old-fashioned while trying to use it ("mightn't", "mustn't", and "shan't", if you're curious). Cheers! :)
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Last edited by MutantClannfear on Sat Apr 26, 2014 7:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 7297
Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:01 am 
 

Psh, "amn't" is totally legit.
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Panflute
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:11 am
Posts: 447
PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 7:15 pm 
 

zstrrr wrote:
hello everyone,

I tried to post my first review, but it was rejected, because the english would be so bad "...to the point in which the review makes almost no sense". I´m no native speaker and i admit my english is not the best, but i thought it would be ok. anyway, i can´t recognize the errors - could anybody take a look and tell me whats wrong?

"...and justice for Lulu

I´m in the rare position to be a fan - to some extend - of both Lou Reed and Metallica. So it´s no wonder i´d supposed to like it. well, to some extend, i do.

I don´t want to moan here much about how Metallica aren´t a great band anymore, because they are lost to me since they got a coach instead of calling it quits after the mediocre "Load" of whatshouldwedoaboutwhouyeahyeah, or better before. I liked them partly because I respect when someone leans a little out of the conventional by-the-rule-playing and goes out and finds something new. Wich Lou Reed didn´t do either since "Metal Machine Music". So this album starts not surprisingly and not very interesting for me with songs that are exactly like you would expect a crossing between Reed and nowadays-Metallica. Conventional tame rock-songs like "Brandenburg Gate", where Reed by the way shows how much better he is than Hetfield, even if he´s mostly speaking (if Hetfield would evolve his singing he would do his band the biggest favor...)

But then they loosen up the form and tighten up the tension at the same time - with pieces like "Mistress Dread" and "Pumping Blood", wich are for me some of the most exciting music in the last years. That´s where the contrast of Reed´s voice and Metallicas´ playing is the perfect match.

No wonder that it is not liked here very much because it´s shurely not a proper Metal-Album. That does not bother me - what bothers me, a little, is it´s length - it´s a long time runner, but that´s all a little too long. But since "Load" them `tally-guys lost any sense of measure anyway..."


Seeing as someone already weeded out the mistakes, I'll give you a more general tip. Use a spell-checker. That alone should weed big errors such as "wich" and "shurely" out. Also try to avoid longer sentences as this point. The reader's comprehension of your text will suffer dramatically under long sentences that contain errors.
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LeMiserable
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 252
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:32 am 
 

I'm having some troubles with reviewing albums. If you'd go on the chat right now and mention my name with the word 'reviews' behind it, most would die of laughter... All this because I can't get my mind right, I often find myself reviewing something, only to discover something in the album itself after writing it that I absolutely love (or hate), almost forcing me to totally change the review or just deleting it. This has now happened countless times over, and at the moment i'm kinda ashamed of it. I really love to write reviews, but I constantly get the feeling I don't agree with my own reviews...

Any tips?

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Panflute
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:11 am
Posts: 447
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 12:10 pm 
 

LeMiserable wrote:
I'm having some troubles with reviewing albums. If you'd go on the chat right now and mention my name with the word 'reviews' behind it, most would die of laughter... All this because I can't get my mind right, I often find myself reviewing something, only to discover something in the album itself after writing it that I absolutely love (or hate), almost forcing me to totally change the review or just deleting it. This has now happened countless times over, and at the moment i'm kinda ashamed of it. I really love to write reviews, but I constantly get the feeling I don't agree with my own reviews...

Any tips?


How many times do you listen to a record before reviewing it? Because it's easy to be blown away by a record until you have had a week or two to ponder over it, and discover it might not be as great as you thought it was.

I personally prefer to review albums I have been familiar with some time, exactly to prevent myself from writing a review that I might not agree with later.
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LeMiserable
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 252
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 12:13 pm 
 

Panflute wrote:
How many times do you listen to a record before reviewing it? Because it's easy to be blown away by a record until you have had a week or two to ponder over it, and discover it might not be as great as you thought it was.

I personally prefer to review albums I have been familiar with some time, exactly to prevent myself from writing a review that I might not agree with later.


In general atleast 5-10 times... if the album is absolutely terrible I'd say 1-3 times...

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zstrrr
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:19 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 12:22 pm 
 

@ MutantClannfear + Panflute:
oh...yes, that are a lot of errors...and i really thought i wouldn´t need some spell-checker...
thanks alot for helping!

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SveaUltima
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:22 pm
Posts: 33
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 4:59 am 
 

Yeah I know its horrible but I'm really bad at English :/ Would appreciate some help and feedback...

Spoiler: show
Let me start of by saying that I don't think this is the real Abruptum. The real Abruptum have: vocals, guitars, bass, drums and keyboards. (even though its questionable how good they handled their instruments) Well anyway, its the year 2014 now. Evil is the sole member of Abruptum since It has left the scene and now Evil has continued his reign of noise/ambient/whatever.

To put it simply, this is total trash. There is absolutely nothing good about this. It almost sounds like Evil recorded sounds from a highway and had it speeded up and later released it. There are some vocals but they are just a faint chanting, so you really cant hear it because of all the noise. All the songs sound the same and never really change.
While "Casus Luciferi" had some sort of "rhythm" in some of the songs, this has nothing of that. If anything, the whole album is somewhat akin to the track "Dödsapparaten" of the EP "De Profundis Mors Vas Cousumet" which was great if you wanted to become deaf.

Its not worth your time. It is total trash. Abruptum is dead for me. Abruptum should have been killed off after It left. If you want to buy or listen to anything that Abruptum has released, please listen to the album "Evil Genius" which actually have some good songs.

Avoid at all costs! [spoiler]
[/spoiler]

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SveaUltima
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:22 pm
Posts: 33
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 1:37 pm 
 

I got two of my reviews rejected. Probably because of my terrible English. However, I actually think it might be good that I got my reviews rejected since now I know what the problem is and now I can fix it (eventually) :)

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 2909
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 1:39 pm 
 

The English isn't that bad, it is probably because of how short they are. You should get a reason for the rejection in the email notification.
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SveaUltima
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:22 pm
Posts: 33
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 1:40 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
The English isn't that bad, it is probably because of how short they are. You should get a reason for the rejection in the email notification.


I did. It was mostly because of the grammar. It sucks but you can't get better unless you practice :)

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2001
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:37 pm 
 

SveaUltima: Did you try writing it in your native language first?

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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 701
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:49 pm 
 

LeMiserable wrote:
Panflute wrote:
How many times do you listen to a record before reviewing it? Because it's easy to be blown away by a record until you have had a week or two to ponder over it, and discover it might not be as great as you thought it was.

I personally prefer to review albums I have been familiar with some time, exactly to prevent myself from writing a review that I might not agree with later.


In general atleast 5-10 times... if the album is absolutely terrible I'd say 1-3 times...


I agree about good albums. Of course a band will make music such that the listener will want to keep listening. But a positive first impression can fade from "this is fantastic!" to "this is good but probably won't make it on my replayed favourites rotation."

On the other hand, bullshit doesn't become less bullshitty after 5-10 plays. Years later your overall tastes might change, but in that case someone's original 0% review for Reek of Putrefaction because grindcore, was pointless to begin with. If you're reviewing an album of a genre you're familiar with, and the album's shitty, you don't need to irritate yourself by giving it multiple listens.
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SveaUltima
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:22 pm
Posts: 33
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 4:50 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
SveaUltima: Did you try writing it in your native language first?


Nope. Should I have done that?

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DrummingEdge133
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:48 pm
Posts: 1601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 2:46 am 
 

I was wondering what reviewers thought would be the best way to incorporate lyrics into a review formatting wise? I'd try to find a review that has lyrics quoted already, but it's not common, so I thought it might be faster to ask here.

I had the idea of just separating them into their own small paragraph and have them in quotes and italicized. Does this seem right? If anyone has a good example of lyrics in a review, I'd love to see it.

Thank you for any responses.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18602
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 7:29 am 
 

Yeah, that's one way to do it. See here.
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DrummingEdge133
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:48 pm
Posts: 1601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 1:42 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Yeah, that's one way to do it. See here.


That looks just right. Thanks dude. :headbang:
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Guys, this is the same dude who thinks that Manowar is the best band ever and that Joey DeMaio is the savior of metal. You shouldn't take his opinions very seriously.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2001
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 12:51 pm 
 

SveaUltima wrote:
Grave_Wyrm wrote:
SveaUltima: Did you try writing it in your native language first?


Nope. Should I have done that?

Sorry for the delay. I think you should, yes, and then get help translating it into English. It will make a world of difference. It might take a while to get it translated properly, but if the review is good, it's worth it. Good luck!

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DivineSpirit33
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:23 pm
Posts: 51
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 2:01 pm 
 

I wrote a review of Mozaiq by Blood Stain Child. If any of you would criticize this, that would be awesome.

Spoiler: show
Yes - 100%

By now, you're probably already laughing. Why? You've seen the score I've given this album. It may seem insane that I would even be able to slightly justify giving this "mediocre" album a perfect score. Allow me to do my best to show you why this is truly amazing.

Blood Stain Child. A band widely known for Bodom-esque electronicy melodic death metal. This album marked their major shift in sound, to a style that would be dubbed as "trance metal". There are several issues that people have with this album that I would like to discuss here. First, and most blatantly obvious, are the vocals.

The vocals seem to be the most hated thing about this album. Why, you may ask? Because they're weird. Incredibly strange. I've never really heard anything quite like them, from any other band ever. There are several different styles of vocals on here as well, such as screaming, talking, higher clean male vocals, lower clean male vocals, and occasionally female vocals. Their style is inherently weird, and I feel that most people after hearing them decide to stop listening to the band at all. They just take some getting used to.

The screamer here has a very raw tone to his voice, that can be very rough, and not refined like many other unclean vocalists. There are times where I can definitely see why the sound of it makes people cringe, but I honestly love it. It matches the style of the music perfectly. However, it's the singing that really gets on most peoples' nerves. And to be honest, I used to hate the singing as well. Whenever I happened to be in a public place, and they're playing this really horrible pop with the worst singing I've ever heard, I used to make the comment, "Well, at least it's not as bad as the guy from Blood Stain Child." Since then, I've gotten used to his singing. And now I even love it. It is very Asian in tone (which is to be expected, as the band is from Japan), high-pitched at most times, and just sounds strange. But I've grown to love it. Occasionally, lower singing is introduced (Neo-Gothic-Romance), and this seems to be less weird, and more of a normal singing voice. Female vocals are rarely used, I can only think of a few occasions in the album, and they are usually electrified. And since this is trance metal, it makes sense, once again. It's just a bit too much for some people to digest.

The thing that I love most about the vocals is how funny they can be. It's fun to try to figure out what they're saying, as it's nearly impossible. This doesn't really matter, as the lyrics don't make sense to begin with (but I don't mind that). For example, in Freedom, the song frequently goes softer, guitars leave, and trance kicks in with some female vocals. After she mumbles something incoherent, the screamer comes in, and it sounds like he shouts, "IT'S A WOMAN!!!" What does he actually say? I could never tell you. But I do find it hilarious.

The electronics are the main gimmick of this album, and what makes it incredibly awesome. The popular comment to make here is, "The electronics sound cool, but the guitars don't accompany it well." That is the single most inaccurate thing ever said about this album. The guitars are wonderful. Just fantastic. Very energetic, fast, and with some of the most memorable riffage ever. They'll throw a trance break into the song, which is almost always followed by a soaring guitar solo, which always sends chills up my spine because it sounds so well-placed, and super effective. The most common comment about the guitars, to explain why people think they don't accompany the electronics well, is that they are "really terrible Gothenburg style." I don't understand this, in any way. I've listened to a lot of In Flames, and a bit of Dark Tranquility, and I don't hear the similarities here. If you look at The Jester Race, the guitarwork is mostly power metal-style, just with screaming over it. I'd say the guitars here are just a mix of standard melodic death with a bit of an industrial influence. Either way, the guitars are another contributing factor to this perfect piece of beauty.

Enough about why people hate the album. Here's why I adore it so much.

The electronics. Oh, the electronics! They're the original thing that led me to this album. They're almost always there, and usually the most prevalent during the soft breaks, and the intros and outros. They're what builds the energy and excitement of the album. This is always effective, everytime they try it. The quintessence of this is found at the very start of the album, the intro of Exotic-6-Cordinator. A rapid trance intro, with guitars to go in the background, a little intro scream, and BOOM. The album comes to a super fast start, with guitar riffs that make the listener feel invincible.

This is a nice segway into the best thing about the album. The mood, feeling, and atmosphere that surround this thing it unlike what I've heard any other band do. During the first half of the album, from Exotic-6-Cordinator to Another Dimension, I just feel energetic and invincible, thinking, "Aw yeah, this is great!" and just bouncing off the walls. After that, the album gets slower, and much much weirder, with Metropolice. This track shows a bit of the Asian influence in this album, with the inclusion of what sounds like a pan flute, and just strange female vocals. After that, the album just gets even weirder. C.E. 0079 isn't even a metal song. It's just entirely electronic, with the exception of the guitar solo. And I'll go as far as to call it my second favorite song on the album. It's super catchy throughout the entire thing, and has nice vocals thrown into the background the whole time. It also contains the best guitar solo in the entire album.

This structure of weirdness continues during the rest of the album (with one exception, which I'll get to in a bit). Most of these songs in the back half of the album contain trance breaks that are very lengthened compared to those in the first half, and also sound very different. It sounds like they're trying to pull you into some sort of alien world, because the mental images created here are just indescribable. It's some sort of incomparable mixture of science fiction and fantasy; something that no other band has ever done.

Allow me to relate the structure of this album to something that makes a bit more sense. Here's your analogy: a roller coaster. If you're horribly terrified by them, pretend you're not. Now, imagine you're waiting in line for this roller coaster, and rather than being nervous, you are super excited to ride it. Eventually you make it to the front, and you're strapping yourself in for the ride. Once you start going up the chain-up, that's like Exotic-6-Cordinator; it's super exciting. Once you get to the top, and begin going down, that's pretty much like the rest of the first half of the album. Now, after you're about halfway through the ride, and your brain is basically going insane, that's the second half of the album. Once you're pulling back into the station, and you're thinking, "Wow, that was my new favorite ride ever!", that's basically Neo-Gothic-Romance. Then you look to your right, to see that there's strangely nobody else standing in line. The staff running the ride inform you that you can ride it again, right away, without having to wait. You become even more excited and even more overjoyed than you were before. This is the bonus track on the American and European versions of the album, called Cosmic Highway.

There are a few more songs that I'd like to single out and talk about before wrapping up this review. Cosmic Highway, the aforementioned bonus track, is much faster than the rest of the songs on the album, and despite being placed last, it is more akin to the beginning of the album rather than the end. This is the exception that I referred to earlier. What it does do is bring the album to a wonderful close. Fast, super energetic, crushing guitar riffs, speedy trance, catchy vocals, and then it's over. When I finished listening to the album, I just kind of sat there, in astonishment, thinking, "Wow...this is truly amazing." It may sound like I'm trying to promote this as the single greatest album ever released, but it isn't. There is one album that I like more, however, it is not on The Archives, so I will not mention it here.

The other song I wish to mention is Peacemaker, which I deem as the best song on the album. This is during the weird part of the album, towards the end, right before Neo-Gothic-Romance. This song contains the best guitarwork of the whole album. A killer solo, amazing verses, just chugging along, faster, faster, faster... The vocals on this song are also stellar, the singing parts being incredibly memorable, and just very fun to listen to.

This album truly is the perfected form of music. I cannot think of anything that I would ever change about it.

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5074
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 10:59 pm 
 

Free tip for new reviewers: this isn't for you specifically (or it might be, I dunno, I haven't read your review), but just a general thing that's been driving me nuts over the two years I've been fucking with the review queue, but for the love of christ if I see one more goddamn noob say either "The bass is actually audible!" or "You can't hear the bass at all, but that's to be expected", I am going to personally hunt you down and wallop you in the belly with a sledgehammer made of fire and bees. There is no more of a dead giveaway that you're in over your head and floundering for description than either of those sentences. I mean, everybody improves if they keep practicing and honing their skill, but keep in mind that if you find yourself using either of those sentences, then it's probably not even worth mentioning in the first place.

I believe Napero once said something along the lines of "Bass in black metal is kind of like Nightgaunt's sense of humor. Most newbies are convinced it doesn't exist, but once you know what to look for, it's the most obvious thing in the world". It's the truest thing ever said on these forums.
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tomcat_ha
Veteran

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 2612
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:12 am 
 

to be honest its not that easy to hear bass guitar directly with shitty speakers or headphones.

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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 4550
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 9:59 am 
 

And why is that a problem of the album being reviewed then? If the sound is in the recording and you can't hear it due to a crappy sound setup, why is the album to blame then?! :scratch:

The Napero quote that BH mentions was used when that review for The Satanist popped up (IIRC), the one where the guy says he has a $1000 setup and can't hear the bass. On an album where the bass is mixed upfront! I can only imagine how it must be to work the review queue and deal with that kind of statements ad nauseam.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2001
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 7:36 pm 
 

DivineSpirit33:
Given my limited experience, I would be surprised if this review would get rejected, but it can definitely use improvement. It is, in a word, spergy. Also, somewhat redundant. The reasons for this, however, are unmistakably clear: YOU FUCKING LOVE THIS ALBUM. All well and good. Still, given how much substance there is already, I'm basically sure you can do better. It's very difficult to write well with cum on your hands! I'd say put the review away for a week or two, and then go back over it to clean it up. Keeping arguments for and against both logical and clear is very important. Sperg off a bit here and there (it's not a bad thing, but too much slows down the reader, and if the opinion isn't shared can make one impatient), make your case, give the audience enough to chew on (which in the case of a controversial album is a good idea), but then let the album speak for itself.

I think you do pretty well in explaining *why* you want to ejaculate all over yourself, which is far preferable to simply publicly doing so, not just saying "It's so good because FUUUUUUK THOSE ELECTRONICS VIBE MY PROSTATE!!" so feel free to embellish on those points. They're what will make the case, since boner-pathos isn't all that convincing on its own.

Don't let me love-shame you. By all means, express your enthusiasm for music that turns you on this much and lowers your inhibitions about public exposure. It's difficult to encourage restraint without sounding like I'm endorsing repression. I'm not. The level of sperg (the overswole-tension-of-nads, if you will) can end up hurting an argument on behalf of the album because it can expose a blind spot of social judgement -- a lack of ethos, to get technical.

edit: in addition, from the roller-coaster analogy onward, it gets pretty rambling. I can't say the information is weak or anything. It definitely seems like you have a clear idea of what you want to say, just not a clear way of saying it. It's just disorganized and kind of all over the place, hard to follow. Don't let your erection distract you. Your job as the writer is to keep your head in the midst of invinciboner.

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DivineSpirit33
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:23 pm
Posts: 51
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 9:37 pm 
 

I tried to improve my writing greatly with this review; if anyone would check it out, that would be awesome.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2001
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 10:53 pm 
 

Anyone have any problems with that Eternal Emperor review? cuz I don't. Your opinions come across clearly; it's a decently organized, informed/informative, easy read. It's almost casual, which can sometimes end up meandering, but in this case I think it works well. Maybe it's because you had kind of a bland reaction to the ablum that the writing is more understated, but the good part is that the review itself didn't come across as bland. If you can apply that same kind of straight-forward appraisal which maintains personality to an album you're really into, I'd say you've got a good thing going. Practice helps, obviously, so keep at it.

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zstrrr
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:19 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:41 am 
 

hi, its me again, i reworked my metallica-lulu-review wich i posted here recently, using and regarding thoroughly the very helpful tips and suggestions i got here. i must admit my first try was quite a mess, not only concerning the grammar. so i rewrote al lot, and used a grammar-checker as well and was convinced i has to be o.k. this time.
but it was rejected again (by Diamhea):
"Needs a ton of work. Grammar is a mess and while you definitely make soe good points, you are getting lost in translation - so to speak. Consult somebody with a better grasp of the English language to proofread it and try again."

ad that is the new review:

(Metallica - Lulu)

"I´m in the rare position of being a fan - or actually have been - of both Lou Reed and Metallica. So it´s no wonder I had high interest in the product of such collaboration, wondering if i may like it (again). well, to some extent, i do.
i don´t like very much of what each party of this collaboration did in the last years. So as this album starts out sounding predictable with songs that are exactly like you would expect a crossover between Reed and "modern" Metallica, i´m not very impressed. this applies to the Conventional tame rock songs like "Brandenburg Gate"

But when they loosen up the form and tighten up the tension at the same time - with pieces like "Mistress Dread" and "Pumping Blood", that´s in my opinion some of the most exciting music in the past few years. mere tracks than compostions, let alone songs, these pieces are pure energy. and That´s where the contrast of Reed´s voice and Metallica's playing is the perfect match. Reed, by the way, shows a much better performance than Hetfield (who shows clearly he should come up with some new ideas eventually) although, or because, he´s not actually singing.

If you are hoping for a proper metal album, you´re wrong here. if you are fond of experimentation inside the genre, it´s a worthwhile listening, despite it´s flaws. speaking of flaws: concerning the length of the tracks - i get the idea of spreading it out and letting it roll, but...some tracks are really overdone...well, since "Load", them `tally-guys lost any sense of measure anyway..."

can you help me out again?

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DivineSpirit33
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:23 pm
Posts: 51
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 7:04 am 
 

zstrrr:

I think part of the problem with the grammar is that you put a space before and after each apostrophe. You don't need this. Look at how I say the word "don't". That's how it's supposed to look, no spaces thrown in there. A few sentences are a struggle to read through and should be rephrased. Also, make sure you always capitalize the first letter of every sentence, and always capitalize I.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2001
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 1:57 pm 
 

zstrrr, as I recommended to SveaUltima, it might be best to write it in your native language first, and then translate it with help. I think you're off to a good start, so don't lose heart.

In addition to DivineSpirit33's advice about your punctuation, that's an accent you're using, not an apostrophe. I don't know what a German keyboard is like, so I can't help you there. Additionally, don't use periods of ellipsis as a pause. Their utility is exclusively to represent omissions. While it's barely acceptable to use them as a pause in casual message board language, it's not a technique to be used in formal writing. Also go through and be sure you're using contractions and possessives appropriately (e.g., it's vs. its).

Album titles and song titles should be formatted thus:
"Brandenburg Gate" was correct. Song titles between quotation marks every time they appear.
Load - album titles in italics every time they appear.

"modern" Metallica: because song titles appear in quotation marks, using them this way ends up being confusing. Also, "modern" is a little vague. It's probably best to rephrase it using a range of years. That will be cleaner in both appearance and meaning.

Diamhea likes your main points well enough, so get a friend to go over the minor corrections for you (proper use of commas and hyphens, capitalization, rephrasing). While those corrections will probably get the review accepted, it can use improvement in other areas. For example, in clarity: e.g., So as this album starts out sounding predictable with songs that are exactly like you would expect a crossover between Reed and "modern" Metallica, i´m not very impressed. this applies to the Conventional tame rock songs like "Brandenburg Gate"

It's a good example of the confusing and incorrect grammar as well as unclear communication. Relative to my experience their collaboration is not predictable because I'm unfamiliar with Lou Reed, despite his fame. Don't assume readers see things the same way as you, or can fill in the gaps for themselves. Reviews are best when they make it easy for anyone at any level to understand the context for the album, to get a sense of the production and gestalt of the album, and to easily access the author's reasoning behind the given opinions. It's not essay writing, of course, but it should follow similar ethics of logical cohesion and clear description.

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SveaUltima
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:22 pm
Posts: 33
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 8:05 am 
 

Not that I think that anyone cares but I just had two of my reviews approved :D I guess I have improved my grammar ;)

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SveaUltima
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:22 pm
Posts: 33
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 8:13 am 
 

And Grave_Wyrm, I tried to translate it from Swedish to English and it helped my review quite a bit. Thank you! :)

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2001
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:12 am 
 

Great. That's awesome, man. Glad that worked out. Nice work getting approved, too.

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