Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Danny Desire wrote:
After a brief talk with Diamhea, he told me there were syntax problems, and instructed me to search for help on this thread.
Errors are plentiful. Notes in spoiler.
Japan is an alien
place, it (No it isn't.) has a very particular and peculiar culture that seems disconnected to the reality of other
countries, though different to occidental traditions and present costumes, seeing on news blogs or tabloids about weird inventions or the likes happening there it's indifferent to us, due to the over-exposition of the country.
(What the hell is going on with this .. paragraph? Sentence? It doesn't seem like you don't know anything about Japan, or how to decently describe it. The grammar is remarkably bad, considering this is presented as one convoluted sentence. "Over-exposition"? "different to occidendatl traditions and present costumes"? "it's indifferent to us"? These phrases do not make sense. News blogs and tabloids are your reference point? This is a confusing and misguided opening paragraph that needs to be reworked.)So, it's natural that a band like Urobilinemia came from there. The brand new EP from the band is
part of the experimental side of the extreme side of extreme metal (What?) (pleonasm alert) (What is pleonasm?), yet this band doesn't operate with any sort of minimalism, or either the math-y approach,
people are often related to . The only adjective that comes close to describing this band's sound i
s - strange .
(That's it? That's the only adjective you can come up with?)Different than one expects from a brutal death metal/goregrind release, Urobilinemia sound isn't formulaic overall, there's not a specific idea which is repeated throughout the entire album, besides the weird impression that they might conjure you.
The band set its own standard as soon as they can, which basically consists in a lack of standards
(A lack of standards is not the same as a lack of consistency) - they can go from excruciatingly odd stop-and-go parts to borderline-acoustic (Get your hyphenation under control) sections in a matter of seconds, place an à lá Carcass melodic riff following some sweeping phrases or even go djent without warning you. Yet this mishmash of paradoxical in nature ideas altogether does flow pretty
naturally, the 22 minutes of the release, is rich both in detail and variation.
There's one band I can recall a similarity to Urobilinemia, and quite possibly, the one that may be the point of reference for these Japanese kids - Purulent Jacuzzi, though they are just a technical band who simply operates with different concepts at each section, while Urobilinemia tries to be inclusive and match a lot of influences. Still, they can be compared in the composition department, both bands riff in a similar manner, mid-to-fast tempo chugging riffs with occasional arpeggios or dissonant technical phrases, all doing a job as guitar fills, then there are the outbursts of technicality doing the necessary bridges . It goes without
saying, that this is only the idea most often employed on
Wriggling Chrysalis Of Metaphysical Grudge (Album title formatting) and you won't see it that commonly.
(I don't know what the idea you're referring to is. This sentence is very confusing.) The vocals are as varied as the compositions are, or maybe is
the arrangements' fidelity that makes the EP seem like an omnibus release
(Rephrase for clarity. Fidelity makes it sound like an omnibus? What?). No matter what, there are vocals for all tastes, pig squeals for slam primates, high-pitched screams for noisegrind music noobs and mincing pitchshifted gurgles for pornogrind-loving sociopaths
(How is this complimentary or appealing? I don't understand your intention). The production is amazing, polished with a very modernized touch, properly made to fit all the extensive ideas the band has, preserving each one's properties. Certainly, something that seems unimaginable for bedroom projects, also it may be due to the production.
(I .. huh? Does that train of thought actually make sense to you? It's entirely unclear to me)In times where experimentalism gets repulsed with negative connotations due to the massive immigration of hipsters to metal
(Fragment sentence. Among others, Urobilinemia comes up to show that this trend still has potential, at least, when it isn't made by hipsters. Artists like this is mandatory in brutal death metal, Urobilinemia shouldn't be the archetype (they're so unique, that no copies can match them anyway), but people aiming unconventional things should be the name of the game as of now, no matter how many craps the trend fructifies
(Please phrase more clearly), go ahead and
give us a fresh air (Us? Are you a memeber of the band? Regardless, this turn of phrase doesn't make sense.).
(Ok, that last sentence makes me think you might be a member of the band. Is that true?
The language problems are extensive in this review. Most of it is unclear, and it's a bitch to try and make sense of. I get the general intention, and the musical description is enough to give me a decent guess as to what to expect, but over all, the piece needs the attention of a more capable English speaker. I don't know where you come from, but I'm sure that you'll know someone who speaks decent English who can help you out with this. The phrasing is consistently unclear, and usually falls apart toward the end of a thought. Your grammar needs attention thoughout. Use punctuation appropriately. I will never understand the use of the comma in place of the period. They are nothing alike and could not serve more different purposes.)
EDIT: A friend mine borrowed me his notebook, so I can safely justify what I was meanting there.
Thanks for the reply Grave_Wyrm, there's plenty of stuff I wrote that after re-reading once more seemed dubious to me as well. But there's some stuff that I think you don't get, in the review and I should clarify.
First of, yes, I'm not a native speaker, and to write that review I've used Grammarly, a lot of the times it pointed out comma misuse for me or even the proper place to put one. I'll see what I can do with it if there are problems related to it.
About Japan, yes dude, it is ''an alien place'', this is just a term to say it is a weird place (I've seen it before and that's why I used it), and this isn't something shocking, it even become a common joke regarding the country's culture anyway (for instance, the ''obsession'' with androgyny in their popular culture). The use of the terms ''over-exposition'' and ''indifferent'', refers to the fact that a lot of the stuff that is popular there have been consumed by occidental people as well nowadays, hence a lot of people (at least on the internet) are familiarized with their products (be it an anime or a show), even though some are not even included in the group mentioned. I mean, at this point who haven't seen at least one meme about the ''Japanophile'' kids? I see that I should have written that more properly, and some word choices are dull. But the general idea was to relate the country's weirdness with the band's weirdness. Also, ''News blogs and tabloids are your reference points?'', on this matter, I think I don't have any other ''reliable'' source.
(I don't know if sounds racist to you, but I thought it was appropriate there.)
''The experimental side of the extreme side of extreme metal (pleonasm alert)''. I should have written ''the EP is an experimental take on the extreme side of extreme metal (pleonasm alert)'', it would sound better I think. By the way
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pleonasm. No ''strange'' is not the only adjective I can come up with, I used a lot more throughout the review, what happens is, the use of that word is a matter of context, I mentioned 'minimalistic(BDM) and math-y (BDM)' earlier, resuming these sort of BDM with only one word, so I decided to describe Urobilinemia's sound with only one adjective like I've done with the others, though now I think ''abundant'' would sound better.
The lack of standards is not meant to refer to ''lack of consistency'', it's simply meant to say that the band hasn't any specific standard that is followed throughout the album. I even state in the sentence earlier ''there's not a specific idea which is repeated throughout the entire album'', again, it's all a matter of context. But, now it seemed a bit redundant of my part.
The third paragraph was quite ambiguous and misleading, going to re-work it.
On the fourth one, the reason why I mention a specific type of listener after a technique, is because I said ''there's vocals for all tastes'' and then, I thought it was a good idea to specify the oriented public of each one. ''also it may be due to the production.'', this part used to state something like ''
it may be due to the production that the drums sound a bit clicky'', but I thought that it lacked depth and a concise justification, so I deleted it, but unfortunately I forgot to backspace the entire sentence, my bad.
To finish, on the last sentence the ''us'' is supposed to refer to ''us
BDM listeners''. The subject is occult there.
Anyway, you pointed out some consistent stuff, I think the general idea of my text it's coherent and I'm going to maintain it, I'll have to re-work the part's that seem dubious and poorly structured as of now. Thanks for the feedback mate.