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Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3655
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 4:54 pm 

One facet of the community that I'm sure many of us have noticed is the adoration of a certain circle of reviewers. This is in some cases due to prolificity and/or a result of a distinctive, memorable writing style. So how about the junior varsity team, which consists of a number of familiar faces that just don't get the love despite featuring some qualities unique to themselves? This thread is for you guys, and I will start with two.

joncheetham88: Diverse, multifarious taste coupled with a very smooth writing style and competent descriptions. His reviews can be a bit long at times, but only when he actually has a good bit of merit to say. Can't say enough about this guy.

Liquid_Braino: Nobody knows "female-fronted" like this guy, and this is a throne I suspect he will never vacade. Sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, but never distractingly so.

Add some more.
Passive-aggressive complainee wrote:
Communicating exclusively in gifs makes you the most annoying mod ever


Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5356
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 5:03 pm 

Liquid_Braino is my soulmate. I love everything he's written.
Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: Cannibal Corpse - A Skeletal Domain

Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:04 pm
Posts: 200
PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 5:47 pm 

There was this guy who wrote a bunch of reviews back in 2011. His username was thejoker. While his reviews where somewhat short most of the time, they were insightful and helpful, despite the fact that I disagree with almost all of his opinions (the only exceptions I can think of are Erasmus and Vaakevandring).
Your theory, the rise of hell
Will never come, the time will show
Evil symbols are dying
In the light of Christ


Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 870
Location: Boswell, PA USA
PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2014 9:51 pm 

I actually like reading the reviews by hammersmashedeverything. I don't agree with him all the time but he does good reviews. He only has a few under his belt so I would like to see more from this user.

I also agree with Diamhea when it comes to joncheetham88 and Liquid_Braino. As a mater of fact, Liquid_Braino's reviews has turned me on to some of that kick ass female fronted j-rock power metal.
Frank Zappa wrote:
There is no word or sound that you can make with your mouth or word that will come out of your mouth that is so powerful that it'll make you to go to hell.

The Elitist Metalhead
The Elitist Metalhead on Facebook


Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 576
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 4:57 pm 

Thanks for mentioning me guys, and this is a good idea for a thread.

I often plug HeySharpShooter, but I'll bring him up again here 'cause he just covers the stuff I tend to dig in a detailed and frank fashion that I enjoy reading. dismember_marcin is one I've been reading whenever he turns up recently, another bloke with a lot of knowledge and a colourful if highly conversational way of writing, sort of seems like a tidied-up transcript of alcohol-fueled rambling I'm often party to myself which might be another reason I relate to it.
"I have been given the flesh of the sun to eat, and the milk of the moon to drink.
I have pressed through the long night and been reborn through the realms of dissolution."


Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4937
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:05 pm 

I have always enjoyed Twisted_Psychology's reviews. Fairly concise, to-the-point, easy to read, and pretty accurate on both his own analysis and summaries of general receptions.

Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6489
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 5:48 am 

MettleAngel wrote very enjoyable, light-toned reviews that managed to be nicely descriptive despite the enormous amount of puns of album, band and song titles he worked into the reviews. It's pretty amusing stuff. In some of his later reviews he got a little carried away, though. I recommend his Beyond Twilight review.

Maybe not as much underrated as just niche appeal.
"Behold, wizard, for the last time how the sun looks, for henceforth you will watch it with empty sockets!"
Illusions Dead - death/black metal

Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 4556
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:45 am 

Sean16 used to write cool reviews. There is just something about his style of reviewing that works.

Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:37 am
Posts: 115
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 11:07 pm 

LiquidBraino is spectacular, I thoroughly enjoy joncheetham88 and BastardHead's stuff too, "I would rather staple my nutsack to my nose..." is the greatest line in reviewing history. I get a kick out of Bitterman too.
lord_ghengis wrote:
Don't Sing. Don't Eat. Stop Exist.
The So Far, So Good, So What of our generation.

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