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Rasc
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:19 am
Posts: 190
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 10:44 am 
 

Should this guy be given a driving license?

We should print this kind of genius to put it in a portfolio. Classics.

WARGOATCULT!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:38 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
bug_man wrote:
hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

http://www.myspace.com/thevala
http://www.last.fm/user/Diamhea

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2177
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:59 pm 
 

:lol: I'd accept it. That's pretty great.
_________________
Glass Shrine | melodic raw black metal, first demo coming soonish
TrogDawn wrote:
Azmodes wrote:
What's with the orange, dude?

Personal trademark. I've been posting in orange since I started frequenting forums in 2002. You'll always remember me because I'm the guy who posts in orange

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Bicro
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:21 pm
Posts: 49
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 4:18 pm 
 

I agree, it's catchy. Best part would be you'd have to click through to get to it.

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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 4732
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 4:29 pm 
 

That's actually brilliant! :D
_________________
ANGST ISST DIE SEELE AUF
androdion@Discogs

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DarthVenom
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2003 10:56 am
Posts: 611
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 4:43 pm 
 

Reminds me of some reviews I've read on sites with tenured reviewers. Like on Satan Stole My Teddybear, their review for Cattle Decapitation - To Serve Man just reads "This just blows."

That Entombed review isn't exactly up to MA par, but funny nonetheless. :-P

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 402
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 8:31 pm 
 

That one is good for the comedy factor alone.

Well played!
_________________
last.fm - Feel free to add, just let me know who you are first

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Occultcannibal
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 7:09 pm
Posts: 47
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 11:12 pm 
 

I lied. This is the best fucking thread on this forum.
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https://archive.org/details/TFR998-CHUD-ZombieRaiders-SplitCassette
http://www.last.fm/user/Ithaqua666

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4797
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 12:14 am 
 

"This is my third review for a Christian metal album. So far only Soul Embraced and Crimson Thorn have done it right. Extol almost had it, but Mortification fails to grasp the concept of playing music that secular music heads will love.

I know this will be very difficult for most people, but hang in there. Imagine that you're in a Christian church singing some hymms when suddenly a Christianized Glen Burton suddenly busts into the church and starts playing death metal riffs around the hymms that are being sung.

Oh and also imagine that Glen Burton is incapable of playing more than a few basic chords. Now that you have done that you can pretty much grasp how Triumph of Mercy sounds. The songs are essentially hymms with all of the instruments written around the vocals, and it gets very boring.

Oh, ToM has some catchy moments but they are very few and far between. For the money I spent, the album wasn't worth it."

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 5:41 pm 
 

Really under the gun today:

response to a preset rejection message for especially poor reviews:

Spoiler: show
Image


...and I asked this guy to flesh this one out a bit more, he kept ignoring and resubmitting the same draft, then blew his top!

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
bug_man wrote:
hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

http://www.myspace.com/thevala
http://www.last.fm/user/Diamhea

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 402
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 1:06 pm 
 

"Stay secretary!"

OK, umm, what?
_________________
last.fm - Feel free to add, just let me know who you are first

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2Eagle333
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:24 am
Posts: 218
PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 3:29 pm 
 

I think they're implying that they should phone home from the green zone.

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TheNiceNightmare
Veteran

Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:11 pm
Posts: 2973
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 6:41 am 
 

I would like to take a moment to thank you for your work in keeping this thread alive, Diarrhea. Don't know about anyone else, but you, Diarrhea, ought to be applauded. Thank you, Mr. Diarrhea.

P.S. I assure you, Diarrhea, your poetic virtuality (that's a word now, shut up!) is just fine.
_________________
Don't play with matches!
Napero wrote:
I can say that Swedish is a very easy language. Not only did I learn it without difficulties, even the Swedes can speak it.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:05 pm 
 

Old death/blakc that don't need reviews:

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
bug_man wrote:
hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

http://www.myspace.com/thevala
http://www.last.fm/user/Diamhea

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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5307
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:21 pm 
 

"(...) just Necrosound (....)"

"(...) becoming(more) older (...)"

"(...) more death tan black (...)"

"(...) ´cause their music is from the band to the band, not for the crowd, real underground."

Damn.
_________________
Under_Starmere wrote:
THESE GILLS BREATHE HATERADE

KolmeNoitaa wrote:
(...) microwaves are your best friends. You'll learn to cook anything and everything by nuking it.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3313
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:29 pm 
 

Quote:
this records was conceived in 1990, but recorded until 2014 taken directly from the demo


:| So did this take 24 years to record or is the recording 24 years long?
_________________
Oddeye wrote:
bug_man wrote:
a whole planet, made out of satan


That. Is. METAL!

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 1883
Location: Forgotten In Space
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:44 pm 
 

A single drum, ladies and gentlemen. Any more just wouldn't be Necrosound.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3313
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 7:54 pm 
 

Metal_Detector wrote:
A single drum, ladies and gentlemen. Any more just wouldn't be Necrosound.


Spoiler: show
Image


Necrosound!
_________________
Oddeye wrote:
bug_man wrote:
a whole planet, made out of satan


That. Is. METAL!

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Rykov
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:52 pm
Posts: 211
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:30 am 
 

Quote:
His guitar work will surely impregnate those old enough to remember South American metal of the late '80s.

There's something beautiful in the simplicity and certainty of this one sentence.
_________________
in love, nothing is eternal but drinking your wine
there is no reason for bringing my life to you, other
than losing it.
I said, I just want to know you and then disappear.
you said, knowing me does not mean dying.


My (ever-shifting, constantly developing) top 100 album list

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 2:27 pm 
 

it worth listening
Spoiler: show
Image

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 347
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:41 am 
 

but it not worth reading
_________________
iamntbatman on Brainded Binky wrote:
That guy drives me up a wall for some reason. I can't get through a single one of his reviews without wanting to set fire to everything around me.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 2:11 pm 
 

Zodi asked this guy to fix his grammar, and well...he wasn't having any of it:
Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
bug_man wrote:
hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

http://www.myspace.com/thevala
http://www.last.fm/user/Diamhea

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Jophelerx
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:22 pm
Posts: 679
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 2:53 pm 
 

That's beautiful.
_________________
iamntbatman wrote:
eurotrash bro from sabaton, in a letter to exigence: "dude, we're not really even that good"

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StainedClass95
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2014 4:14 am
Posts: 190
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 3:05 pm 
 

^ Are they many like this who get themselves banned after throwing a fit? That's even more a waste of his time than anyone else's.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 5:11 pm 
 

StainedClass95 wrote:
^ Are they many like this who get themselves banned after throwing a fit? That's even more a waste of his time than anyone else's.


I hope it doesn't become a trend, but yeah. Lots of these recently. Somewhat disconcerting. I can take the punches though, I'm a man.
_________________
bug_man wrote:
hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

http://www.myspace.com/thevala
http://www.last.fm/user/Diamhea

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StainedClass95
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2014 4:14 am
Posts: 190
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 5:50 pm 
 

It just seems so stupid, like I can visualize that guy making minimum wage his whole life kind of stupid.

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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5307
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 2:21 pm 
 

Wasn't aware that you could ruin people's opinions. Good to know.
_________________
Under_Starmere wrote:
THESE GILLS BREATHE HATERADE

KolmeNoitaa wrote:
(...) microwaves are your best friends. You'll learn to cook anything and everything by nuking it.

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4797
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 2:53 pm 
 

I like how the title of the review is "one of the best of gothic rock/metal" and he also uses "gothy" as an insult.

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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 2379
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 3:34 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Lots of these recently. Somewhat disconcerting. I can take the punches though, I'm a man.


You ought to share more of them here, then. :P
_________________
henkkjelle on the Dutch wrote:
Actually we have a extra set of appendages protruding out of our lower ribs especially designed for rummaging through our poop. Newborns that do not possess these appendages are thrown of a mountain.

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 3994
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 12:12 am 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
I like how the title of the review is "one of the best of gothic rock/metal" and he also uses "gothy" as an insult.

I'm actually quite interested to know what he's trying to review, just to know what he considers to be "one of the best."
_________________
Anime Reviews every two weeks!
Artwork once or twice a year!
M-A reviews every leap year!
Last.fm all day long!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:29 pm 
 

It was a Theatre of Tragedy album. I forgot which one exactly.

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 3994
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 7:38 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
It was a Theatre of Tragedy album. I forgot which one exactly.

If it ain't Velvet Darkness They Fear, the review is bullshit.
_________________
Anime Reviews every two weeks!
Artwork once or twice a year!
M-A reviews every leap year!
Last.fm all day long!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3140
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:51 pm 
 

Zelkiiro wrote:
Diamhea wrote:
It was a Theatre of Tragedy album. I forgot which one exactly.

If it ain't Velvet Darkness They Fear, the review is bullshit.


I remembered the artwork. It was Aegis.
_________________
bug_man wrote:
hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

http://www.myspace.com/thevala
http://www.last.fm/user/Diamhea

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8606
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:11 pm 
 

Take that Andy Sneap!
Image
_________________
Metantoine's Magickal Realm
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9664
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:21 pm 
 

A Canadian actually wrote that?
_________________
gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 901
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:30 pm 
 

I liked that Accept album : /
_________________
Osmium wrote:
And I'm sure old Adolf never meant anything bad when he rounded up those Jews. Nice try, Hitler.

Napero wrote:
Say hello to Baby Jesus for me when you don't meet him after you die.

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CF_Mono
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2010 5:21 pm
Posts: 1389
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:34 pm 
 

Man that entombed review was priceless. Dear lord why have I neglected this thread?
_________________
Doom or be doomed...
My current band. Wretched doom trio from NY.

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rafa_hell
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 31
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:01 pm 
 

Good lord, can't believe I never visited this thread, it's just... gold.

That Entombed one was pretty wicked

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3313
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 12:12 am 
 

The CD was so hot, that it melted right through my player. That's why I couldn't listen to it.
_________________
Oddeye wrote:
bug_man wrote:
a whole planet, made out of satan


That. Is. METAL!

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2043
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 12:13 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Really under the gun today:

response to a preset rejection message for especially poor reviews:

Spoiler: show
Image

Are you a teacher, statesman?

:lol:

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