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Erosion of Humanity
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 2475
Location: Schaumburg, Il
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:08 pm 
 

That sounded more like a post from the 'why was x band accepted' thread than a 90% review. I think the guy got confused :lol:
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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2252
Location: At the bottom of the lake
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:56 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
... some delusional, furious rants about mods having personal vendettas against the writer.

love those. It's something special to watch the hinges lose their pins entirely. :lol:
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curtis1567
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:02 pm
Posts: 13
Location: Singapore
PostPosted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 4:18 pm 
 

When I think of French metal, I think of Deathspell Omega, Gojira, Hacride, Pin-Up Went Down and Trepalium all at once. ;)
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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
Posts: 748
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 4:17 pm 
 

I like this one - this is the entire review

"mostt organic nation, very beat riffs in lands. all must listen this music bands. this songs... it does... IN my ear.. AWAKEN!!!"
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 4005
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 4:22 pm 
 

It almost rhymes, it evokes nice mental images and is best spoken aloud.
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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
Posts: 748
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 4:27 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
It almost rhymes, it evokes nice mental images and is best spoken aloud.


If you metalize the vocals a bit, Nation and Awaken could definitely rhyme. Throw a thunderous snare underneath and you might have something.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5405
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 6:22 pm 
 

It's ridiculously close to a limerick, just needs a few more words in the first two statements.

And an.extra rhyme at.the start I guess.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 8:13 pm 
 

For Death Magnetic.
Image

Talking about Justin Bieber in a review gives me a pretty good idea of your intellectual level.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6561
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:42 am 
 

Comedy gold! "'tallica were bigger than Russia, per say" :lol:

That must be read with the voice of Kyle's mouth-breathing cousin from South Park.
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AcidWorm
Veteran

Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2010 11:37 pm
Posts: 2809
PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:10 am 
 

I want to hear that band Judas Kiss. I bet they are pretty awesome.
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TheNiceNightmare
Veteran

Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:11 pm
Posts: 2992
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 7:00 pm 
 

Is Hetfield really someone to call someone else a "blondie faggot"...?
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NoKnownName
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 7:39 pm
Posts: 173
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:21 pm 
 

I like how he thought that Rock approached Metallica when in reality it's the exact opposite.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 1:15 am 
 

Wow, overkill_number1_fan is an alright dude too, for shame.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 3:36 am 
 

A wise man once said: "saying [Metallica's] early era was only good because of [Mustaine's] influence is like saying The Courtyard of the Old Residency, Munich is only good because Hitler painted it"
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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 771
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 12:48 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
A wise man once said: "saying [Metallica's] early era was only good because of [Mustaine's] influence is like saying The Courtyard of the Old Residency, Munich is only good because Hitler painted it"


That doesn't sound like a very wise comparison at all. Hitler was never a talented artist, whereas Mustaine is. So it's fine to suggest that Mustaine had some good musical influence on early Metallica, but the same can't be said for Hitler's crappy paintings.

But yeah, you're all right that review is a joke! "this people make me completely engrossed." :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
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Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:15 pm 
 

Besides, assuming the person making the claim doesn't see any inherent value in Mustaine's having been involved, but makes the assesment based on perceived greater quality, the analogy doesn't quite work. So, pretty stupid. But I suppose it's a funny quip considering what a charming personality Mustaine is.
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Lord_Brendan
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:55 pm
Posts: 556
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:11 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Besides, assuming the person making the claim doesn't see any inherent value in Mustaine's having been involved, but makes the assesment based on perceived greater quality, the analogy doesn't quite work. So, pretty stupid. But I suppose it's a funny quip considering what a charming personality Mustaine is.


:lol:
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 7986
Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 1:25 am 
 

Though I've rejected a lot of crappy reviews, most of the ones that were amusing were basically just shitty Google translate botch jobs, and this thread already has page after page of those. So, I present to you my first contribution to the thread: a 0% review for Grave Upheaval's recent untitled album.

Quote:
With the exception of their first release, Grave Upheaval (henceforth GU) have suspended any album or track titles from their releases. Perhaps for the first release, a demo (2010), the bias to name the tracks according to the ethos and conventions of the genre (“Death Metal”) was not yet thought through. Or maybe GU thought they needed to name their work something such as “Goat Kommand,” in order for the other idiots mired in the repetition of “their culture” to recognize it “as such” … “as Death Metal.” Irrespective of these injunctions of the genre, which “must” be made explicit, we can say with confidence that GU does perform Death Metal. It’s rather undeniable, and what is the use of arguing otherwise? Who cares? To pretend as if an ontological argument, an argument that says “this is” or “isn’t” e.g. Death Metal, gets anything accomplished. How different is this argument for or against the existence of God, the ubiquitously refuted and hated object of “extreme metal?” This question, or the reference, to God isn’t just a desperate attempt to make you upset or annoyed (“how dare they!”). Rather, it’s a sort of flimsy attempt to finally get to the point, which is that GU unbind the ethical imperative to insist on Death, and moreover experience, without modifying the practical conventions of the genre from which they perform. We will attempt to give a few propositions on why this is.

First, let’s begin on this point of Death and its correlation to experience. We are all familiar with the Music Review: riddled with insipid adjectives and litanies of experiential claims. Can we still afford for such overcompensation and Romantic attempts at “naming” the “experience” that “music” gives to us? What do you think is happening when you listen to music? What GU might posit is that the bias towards Death, and thus an experience embedded in its finitude, cannot be apprehended … cannot be paid for any longer. Or, perhaps more urgently, what if we are without the capacity to discern any thing to apprehend or pay for? It might be appropriate to cite some sentences here from Badiou: “Death alone is proof of life. Finitude alone is proof of the transcendental constitution of experience. In both cases, a secularized or sublimated God operates in the background, the over-existent broker of being. One may call Him Life, or—like Spinoza— Substance or Consciousness. […] To unshackle existence down here from its mortal correlation requires that it should be axiomatically wrested from the phenomenological constitution of experience as well as from the Nietzschean naming of being as life.” However, the question is not necessarily to decide that we should axiomatically wrest ourselves from phenomenology, experience, or the finitude of Death—although it’s at least a start—but rather to ask how we, as listeners or whatever, get in a situation where these inane categories of “description” for music are not available or appropriate for what may be described. In other words, we don’t need to get a life in order to die and then “experience” the propositions of GU. We must think the existence of GU and ourselves in a “poorer” (for whom? humans? the ones that must be wiped off the universe? the biggest mistake?) way.

In one review of their album released on Nuclear War Now (2013), which is the object of our discussion here, the reviewer attempts to show the viewers the cover of the album, but immediately apologizes for attempting to do so: “Sorry, you probably can’t even see that.” Later the reviewer claims that, in terms of the content of each track: “there’s little grasp onto.” This is a common sentiment in several reviews given for this album. Invisible Oranges, in a rather comedic way—showing the absurdity of the injunction to give new names, new forms, etc.—offers several “keywords” for GU: “murky,” “muddy,” “wind-tunnel.” IO claims that GU reaches the “peak” of these conditions, which is: the possibility that there can be nothing further to show or provide, nothing further that can result from these conditions. In more absolute terms, another reviewer claims that this album contains "no varying lead patterns, no notable changes in the pace of drumming, no vocal lines that really grab you” and there isn’t much to discern in terms of “riffs” (a convention for the genre … a heterogeneous identity given under a structure that can and will repeat). The Plow Behind You uses the term “impenetrable” several times. All of these reviews demonstrate a desperate, sycophantic attempt to retain the injunction that GU, being a musical “result,” must yield some thing to experience and thus describe. But, what can be at least minimally inferred from GU are: homogeneity, indiscernibility, continuousness. Or, the suspension of (though not without a cancellation of possibility for) things, and thus of finitude. To cite Badiou again: “[T]he chain of infinite modes, immediate then mediate, itself intrinsically homogeneous, but entirely disconnected from the presented world of 'singular things'” is precisely a description for Being, or: that which is obviously independent of any-thing called a person that claims to experience music.

Of course, to at least imply that GU demonstrates the minimal properties of Being—especially to imply this through some geriatric modernist Philosopher—is a bit laughable, considering we’re talking about/from an album, with discrete tracks. But, what is also laughably obvious is that each track, due to its condition (their decision … relegation?), ends. Moreover, each track has a sample rate of 44.1 kHz. This is proof—as if we needed it?—of a homogeneity intrinsic to not just (No Title), but any record one might acquire. But, considering what our music review frenz have mostly ‘driven home’, GU leaves us with much else than homogeneity and indiscernibility, or in other words: the fatalism that every track ends and has a sample rate of 44.1, both of which are identical each time. Or: each sample and end of (any) track only happened once, and GU, by yielding an album with discrete tracks—what else would they do?—only perform one sample of the end. GU axiomatically wrest themselves from experience, heterogeneity, and Life, which involuntarily defaults them into a condition suspended from the possibility of starting their album. This might imply something like a fatalism, albeit without fatality.

Sure, there is audio on each track and one can hear that audio, if they wanted. But, one doesn’t necessarily need to do that, considering it might have already happened, and it’s over. Following the press release for (No Title): the album is "immediately arresting to the listener without the need to engage in repeat listens before it even begins to set in." The “listener,” should they exist—this “should” is another question that we don’t have time to get into—is arrested by the guarantee of the homogenous end which yields no-thing to discern, immediate and invariant to its any relegation under “the music.” It won’t “set in,” because it has no-thing to do with you or me. Did I listen to this album? This album by Grave Upheaval? How is listening proved? Listening is just another invariant under the album: it doesn’t modify the album, it’s a totally minimal appearance for the album. It doesn’t exist relative to the existence of the album. In other words, this is what we might mean now by death: it doesn’t make any difference … depletion of appearance towards non-identity. In other words, the effectuation of listening, as a solely formal procedure that might be performed upon the album, is identical in its homogeneity and invariance to what can be inferred from GU: the end of each track, the arrest (suspension) of identity—i.e. result—by ‘impenetrable’ murkiness, etc. The ethical imperative to listen, and for there to have something to listen to, in order to effectuate “an experience” might be fairly ridiculous, in this sense. And this might be to practice from or with Grave Upheaval, rather than to demarcate “us” as necessarily autonomous from them, especially when you probably can’t even see that.
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2372
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 2:47 am 
 

Holy shit WHAT. :lol: Dear god, it's like Falconsbane, Kruel and Noktorn all lived in a closet together for thousands of years and discovered the secret to tri-paternal gay pregnancy, and their resulting baby stroked out five times while being delivered. I love it.
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Wilytank wrote:
Aeosphorus wrote:
there are post-black metal bands such as ...Sunn O.

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Rykov
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:52 pm
Posts: 260
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 4:40 am 
 

"The “listener,” should they exist—this “should” is another question that we don’t have time to get into—is arrested by the guarantee of the homogenous end which yields no-thing to discern, immediate and invariant to its any relegation under “the music.” It won’t “set in,” because it has no-thing to do with you or me. Did I listen to this album? This album by Grave Upheaval? How is listening proved? Listening is just another invariant under the album: it doesn’t modify the album, it’s a totally minimal appearance for the album. It doesn’t exist relative to the existence of the album. In other words, this is what we might mean now by death."

I just about fucking died. I'm not sure if this is the dumbest thing I've ever read or the most impenetrably profound.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5405
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 5:07 am 
 

Oh god, I stopped reading very early and missed that line, I thought your frequent use of quotation marks and indecipherable broken sentences was a joke mocking the review haha
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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 771
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 8:14 am 
 

"Sure, there is audio on each track and one can hear that audio, if they wanted. But, one doesn’t necessarily need to do that, considering it might have already happened, and it’s over."

That's almost musical description, sorta :scratch:
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6561
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 10:19 am 
 

I want to try LSD too! :cry:

That one is really a modern day classic Crappy Diem review. What score did he give it?
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 954
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 10:29 am 
 

It's all crystal clear to me, like that vial of LSD I had that one (many) times(s) o_O
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5405
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 10:50 am 
 

Was a 0% Ilwhyan.
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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
Posts: 864
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 4:57 pm 
 

Rykov wrote:
I'm not sure if this is the dumbest thing I've ever read or the most impenetrably profound.


That's on purpose. The overall approach and quoting Badiou are both good signs that the reviewer buys into that kind of postmodernism bullshit where it is fashionable to dress up half-formed ideas with enough words and rambling language to look smart without saying anything.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 4134
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 11:44 pm 
 

severzhavnost wrote:
"Sure, there is audio on each track and one can hear that audio, if they wanted. But, one doesn’t necessarily need to do that, considering it might have already happened, and it’s over."

That's almost musical description, sorta :scratch:

Sounds like a line from my Penis Metal review. And I didn't even listen to that album. And it wasn't a serious review.
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 7986
Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:15 am 
 

My theory is that, after being exposed to the widespread backlash against Aesthetica by everyone with more than a vague familiarity with metal (and PhilosophicalFrog), Hunter Hunt-Hendrix-Hunter-Gather realized he needed to find out more about this genre he superficially played, so he browsed around on the internet for a couple weeks until he stumbled upon deathmetal.org. He just finished reading up on all of their stuff and decided to publish his Manifesto Part the Second here on M-A.

His next move: transcendental hedgehog humping.
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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 617
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:07 pm 
 

Would take a hundred track-by-tracks of Slayer over the self-fellating pseudo-intellectual cobblers brand of review any day of the week. Would also prefer grains in her face.

And what is with constantly referring to yourself as "one..." :wanker:
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2372
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:20 am 
 

Hey, don't diss the use of "one" as opposed to "you". It's useful when you want to refer to an unspecified person without leaving room for the reader to think they're being directly addressed.
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Wilytank wrote:
Aeosphorus wrote:
there are post-black metal bands such as ...Sunn O.

When did we start calling Sunn O))) black metal and how soon can we stop?

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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 617
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:34 am 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
Hey, don't diss the use of "one" as opposed to "you". It's useful when you want to refer to an unspecified person without leaving room for the reader to think they're being directly addressed.

Quote:
And what is with constantly referring to yourself as "one..." :wanker:

It has its occasional uses, I agree. Used constantly it quickly becomes awful for me. Especially in a review like that one where the guy is doing all he can to be as up himself as possible without actually linking to a picture of him smoking a pipe behind a lectern and looking wryly askance at a copy of Grave Upheaval's LP.
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:15 am 
 

Eh, fair enough. I don't know why I'm trying to defend any aspect of that review from being labeled as utterly pretentious anyways. :lol:

Considering I reviewed the album myself, I was quite disappointed when he started quoting reviews from around the web regarding the album and then proceeded to quote basically the most boring part of mine. :( I was hoping he'd devolve into this several-hundred-word-long diatribe, specifically addressed to me, on why I was objectively wrong about it.
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Wilytank wrote:
Aeosphorus wrote:
there are post-black metal bands such as ...Sunn O.

When did we start calling Sunn O))) black metal and how soon can we stop?

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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 617
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:37 am 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
I was hoping he'd devolve into this several-hundred-word-long diatribe, specifically addressed to me, on why I was objectively wrong about it.

Bahaha, now those ones I do enjoy. I'd like to see more such meltdowns in this thread.
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Marag
Veteran

Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:55 pm
Posts: 2660
Location: down there where chaos prevails
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 9:05 pm 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
Though I've rejected a lot of crappy reviews, most of the ones that were amusing were basically just shitty Google translate botch jobs, and this thread already has page after page of those. So, I present to you my first contribution to the thread: a 0% review for Grave Upheaval's recent untitled album.
Spoiler: show
Quote:
With the exception of their first release, Grave Upheaval (henceforth GU) have suspended any album or track titles from their releases. Perhaps for the first release, a demo (2010), the bias to name the tracks according to the ethos and conventions of the genre (“Death Metal”) was not yet thought through. Or maybe GU thought they needed to name their work something such as “Goat Kommand,” in order for the other idiots mired in the repetition of “their culture” to recognize it “as such” … “as Death Metal.” Irrespective of these injunctions of the genre, which “must” be made explicit, we can say with confidence that GU does perform Death Metal. It’s rather undeniable, and what is the use of arguing otherwise? Who cares? To pretend as if an ontological argument, an argument that says “this is” or “isn’t” e.g. Death Metal, gets anything accomplished. How different is this argument for or against the existence of God, the ubiquitously refuted and hated object of “extreme metal?” This question, or the reference, to God isn’t just a desperate attempt to make you upset or annoyed (“how dare they!”). Rather, it’s a sort of flimsy attempt to finally get to the point, which is that GU unbind the ethical imperative to insist on Death, and moreover experience, without modifying the practical conventions of the genre from which they perform. We will attempt to give a few propositions on why this is.

First, let’s begin on this point of Death and its correlation to experience. We are all familiar with the Music Review: riddled with insipid adjectives and litanies of experiential claims. Can we still afford for such overcompensation and Romantic attempts at “naming” the “experience” that “music” gives to us? What do you think is happening when you listen to music? What GU might posit is that the bias towards Death, and thus an experience embedded in its finitude, cannot be apprehended … cannot be paid for any longer. Or, perhaps more urgently, what if we are without the capacity to discern any thing to apprehend or pay for? It might be appropriate to cite some sentences here from Badiou: “Death alone is proof of life. Finitude alone is proof of the transcendental constitution of experience. In both cases, a secularized or sublimated God operates in the background, the over-existent broker of being. One may call Him Life, or—like Spinoza— Substance or Consciousness. […] To unshackle existence down here from its mortal correlation requires that it should be axiomatically wrested from the phenomenological constitution of experience as well as from the Nietzschean naming of being as life.” However, the question is not necessarily to decide that we should axiomatically wrest ourselves from phenomenology, experience, or the finitude of Death—although it’s at least a start—but rather to ask how we, as listeners or whatever, get in a situation where these inane categories of “description” for music are not available or appropriate for what may be described. In other words, we don’t need to get a life in order to die and then “experience” the propositions of GU. We must think the existence of GU and ourselves in a “poorer” (for whom? humans? the ones that must be wiped off the universe? the biggest mistake?) way.

In one review of their album released on Nuclear War Now (2013), which is the object of our discussion here, the reviewer attempts to show the viewers the cover of the album, but immediately apologizes for attempting to do so: “Sorry, you probably can’t even see that.” Later the reviewer claims that, in terms of the content of each track: “there’s little grasp onto.” This is a common sentiment in several reviews given for this album. Invisible Oranges, in a rather comedic way—showing the absurdity of the injunction to give new names, new forms, etc.—offers several “keywords” for GU: “murky,” “muddy,” “wind-tunnel.” IO claims that GU reaches the “peak” of these conditions, which is: the possibility that there can be nothing further to show or provide, nothing further that can result from these conditions. In more absolute terms, another reviewer claims that this album contains "no varying lead patterns, no notable changes in the pace of drumming, no vocal lines that really grab you” and there isn’t much to discern in terms of “riffs” (a convention for the genre … a heterogeneous identity given under a structure that can and will repeat). The Plow Behind You uses the term “impenetrable” several times. All of these reviews demonstrate a desperate, sycophantic attempt to retain the injunction that GU, being a musical “result,” must yield some thing to experience and thus describe. But, what can be at least minimally inferred from GU are: homogeneity, indiscernibility, continuousness. Or, the suspension of (though not without a cancellation of possibility for) things, and thus of finitude. To cite Badiou again: “[T]he chain of infinite modes, immediate then mediate, itself intrinsically homogeneous, but entirely disconnected from the presented world of 'singular things'” is precisely a description for Being, or: that which is obviously independent of any-thing called a person that claims to experience music.

Of course, to at least imply that GU demonstrates the minimal properties of Being—especially to imply this through some geriatric modernist Philosopher—is a bit laughable, considering we’re talking about/from an album, with discrete tracks. But, what is also laughably obvious is that each track, due to its condition (their decision … relegation?), ends. Moreover, each track has a sample rate of 44.1 kHz. This is proof—as if we needed it?—of a homogeneity intrinsic to not just (No Title), but any record one might acquire. But, considering what our music review frenz have mostly ‘driven home’, GU leaves us with much else than homogeneity and indiscernibility, or in other words: the fatalism that every track ends and has a sample rate of 44.1, both of which are identical each time. Or: each sample and end of (any) track only happened once, and GU, by yielding an album with discrete tracks—what else would they do?—only perform one sample of the end. GU axiomatically wrest themselves from experience, heterogeneity, and Life, which involuntarily defaults them into a condition suspended from the possibility of starting their album. This might imply something like a fatalism, albeit without fatality.

Sure, there is audio on each track and one can hear that audio, if they wanted. But, one doesn’t necessarily need to do that, considering it might have already happened, and it’s over. Following the press release for (No Title): the album is "immediately arresting to the listener without the need to engage in repeat listens before it even begins to set in." The “listener,” should they exist—this “should” is another question that we don’t have time to get into—is arrested by the guarantee of the homogenous end which yields no-thing to discern, immediate and invariant to its any relegation under “the music.” It won’t “set in,” because it has no-thing to do with you or me. Did I listen to this album? This album by Grave Upheaval? How is listening proved? Listening is just another invariant under the album: it doesn’t modify the album, it’s a totally minimal appearance for the album. It doesn’t exist relative to the existence of the album. In other words, this is what we might mean now by death: it doesn’t make any difference … depletion of appearance towards non-identity. In other words, the effectuation of listening, as a solely formal procedure that might be performed upon the album, is identical in its homogeneity and invariance to what can be inferred from GU: the end of each track, the arrest (suspension) of identity—i.e. result—by ‘impenetrable’ murkiness, etc. The ethical imperative to listen, and for there to have something to listen to, in order to effectuate “an experience” might be fairly ridiculous, in this sense. And this might be to practice from or with Grave Upheaval, rather than to demarcate “us” as necessarily autonomous from them, especially when you probably can’t even see that.



I just shed a tear. This is the most pretentious thing I've read in my life. It's beautiful. A thousand HHHs and the whole student body of a philosophy and social sciences campus together couldn't create something of this caliber

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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
Posts: 748
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 11:10 pm 
 

Here's a great one for Bred to Kill by Condition Critical

"Every time I have sex or work out this is my go to album. It makes me want to donkey punch a bitch while doing anal. Killer riffs and an awesome Peruvian lead vocalist and super jacked hulk like lead guitarist oh and the bass player can drink more than your alcoholic uncle at a open bar at his sisters wedding."
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In a recent review: "I didn't expect any "new" record by any "new" band to blow me like this."

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Rykov
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:52 pm
Posts: 260
PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:29 pm 
 

theunrelentingattack wrote:
Here's a great one for Bred to Kill by Condition Critical

"Every time I have sex or work out this is my go to album. It makes me want to donkey punch a bitch while doing anal. Killer riffs and an awesome Peruvian lead vocalist and super jacked hulk like lead guitarist oh and the bass player can drink more than your alcoholic uncle at a open bar at his sisters wedding."

I actually cringed reading that, just picturing the stick-thin, neck-beard toting, Mountain Dew fueled try-hard that must have produced this shit from the very depths of their parents' basement. 'Donkey punch a bitch while doing anal'? Sure thing, champ.
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in love, nothing is eternal but drinking your wine
there is no reason for bringing my life to you, other
than losing it.
I said, I just want to know you and then disappear.
you said, knowing me does not mean dying.


My (ever-shifting, constantly developing) top 100 album list

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2372
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:51 pm 
 

I'd bet less on "American neckbeard" and more on "average South American metalhead".
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Aeosphorus wrote:
there are post-black metal bands such as ...Sunn O.

When did we start calling Sunn O))) black metal and how soon can we stop?

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 5026
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:19 pm 
 

Factually inaccurate, their lead guitarist is more like a hobbit than a hulk.

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orionmetalhead
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2006 9:54 am
Posts: 2468
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 11:35 pm 
 

Compared to you anyone is a hobbit, Zod.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 4:59 pm 
 

Image

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