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HowDisgusting
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 6:39 pm
Posts: 1709
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:25 am 
 

I just stumbled upon this utterly incompetent review of Naglfar - Diabolical by 'Monstro City'

Quote:
I tried, I tried so hard to have even an iota of knowledge as to how this album could arouse any acclaim. Somehow it slipped through the critical grasp of many, and ended up getting decent feedback. Feedback that stole from me a precious twelve dollars that I will never get back. Twelve dollars that could have been wasted on something worthy or perhaps even euphoric! However, time and time again shitty Black Metal bands are reminding me that there are individuals out there who will actually pay money for feces. And not even the cool feces that you see at country/hick carnivals that look like celebrities.

Let’s piece together what the album “Diabolical” by Naglfar has put together for us:

1. Diabolical vocals that sound like a poser Danny Filth taking a shower in prison.

2. Diabolical guitar riffs that are so sloppy it sounds like the guitarist was being sucked off by Frankie Muniz during the recording sessions.

3. Diabolical Percussion that had the potential to be cool, but their producer was too much of a twat to render the Double-kick coherently audible.

4. Diabolical Bass that is not only never heard independently, but boarder line omnipresent as their Bassist must have been just standing there doing nothing, shaking his head.


That’s all, with the infinitesimal exception of their sampling element that may be well mastered, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Now, with all the Black Metal bashing I did within the last forty seconds that I did, let me continue by saying to all of those who have a Naglfar album; don’t feel too bad, they aren’t Black Metal at it’s worse. If you want to hear them at their worst, you listen to their first album. You read correctly, they are improving; but there isn’t too much that old feces has the ability to evolve into (besides the birth place of maggots). But at the very least, maggots have brains!

Naglfar possess one of those dime a dozen styles whereas they repeat the same riffs (badly produced) constantly. These riffs are slow, uninteresting, and coupled with a Double-kick element most of the time, however, they are screwed out of affect due to the production value. The sampled intros to their songs aren’t even Black Metal influenced, nor are they musical in any way. Inversely, when they do attempt to be melodic, they aren’t even original. There is a short intermission within Diabolical that is just a piano solo entitled “A departure in Solitude” that is a rip-off of a rondo written more than a hundred years ago. I don’t even need to tell you what the rondo is called because there is a 98.9% chance that you will identify it immediately!

Furthermore, one could argue that what they lack in talent, they make up for in being grim and fucking frostbitten, but how could that be when none of them even wear Corpse Paint. They just stand around looking as though they had just been punked and didn’t quite get what was happening yet. But mostly I try not to look at image, especially when their Drummer looks like Christian Bale as a heroine addict. One other particular fact that bothers me about this band, unlike “troo” Black Metal bands, they actually think that they have promising and a bright future. Troo Black metal bands aren’t taken seriously, and if Naglfar hasn’t figured that out; they are only going to suck worse in the future


Summary: Not Grim, Not Frostbitten = Not Talented. A diabolically bad CD!


Obviously the inane, nonsensical ramblings of the hydrocephalic lovechild of weak-willed first cousins.

Besides the fact that there is virtually no attempt made to actually describe the music [other than the incongruous harping about some phantom poor musicianship and how much the guy hates black metal], the last paragraph, which is spent railing against the band's physical appearance, is the most substantive one in the whole review.

See, anyone can simply throw a bunch of big words into a review in an attempt to make it seem intelligent. The difficulty is in getting it to make sense.
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droneriot
RETIRED

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 5245
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:28 am 
 

If you really have to post in the wrong thread at least do it only once.
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HowDisgusting
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 6:39 pm
Posts: 1709
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:29 am 
 

droneriot wrote:
If you really have to post in the wrong thread at least do it only once.
I might have had a chance to delete the dupe if you hadn't replied to it. :finger:
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:16 pm 
 

Quote:
this album is awesome - 100%
Written by gianfranco on March 27th, 2006

THIS ALBUM HAVE ALL THE BEST WORK OF RHAPSODY!!!!!


I rejected a shit review in Reno, just to watch it die...

This one was for Rhapsody's Live in Canada.
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His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:37 pm 
 

If you thought you'd seen baffling before, take a look at this one.

For Abhor (Ita)'s In Tuo Honori Preparatum

Quote:
Revelation of the Call - 1%
Written by arkam on April 1st, 2006

Why do you have come here. I didn' t know where go, I was cold, You have heated me, I was hungry, you have eated me, I was afraid, now i doesn't have some. This is my kingdom, now it is also your. I am your debtor, ask that than you want. “I wan' t your life, I desire your soul”.
He obtained it , He was to his service. Now I feel better, What can I do for you?
“Evil, the death, kills for me”.
So for him began a new, obscure era. For Him I' ll do it, always and in each place. For Him I'll do it with all my forces. Knights, Demons, sons of the night, follow me.


Reply:
Nightgaunt wrote:
The Knights and the Sons of the Night are good to go, but the Demons won't be coming..."Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman" is on tonight, and it's one of the episodes where Sully doesn't wear a shirt (*ggl!).
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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 9726
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:42 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
If you thought you'd seen baffling before, take a look at this one.


Those are the lyrics to the first track on the album he was reviewing...still, what retard uses the band's lyrics as a reivew??
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antonthereaper wrote:
Seriously, why ban me??????? That topic had nothing wrong with it! Theres something wrong with you i can tell you! You're immoral banning of my account! Anyways, i'm creating my own metal arcives.

http://extrememetalencyclopedia.webs.com/

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Peregrin
Cricket Bat of Longinus

Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:09 am
Posts: 1888
Location: Denmark
PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:56 am 
 

UltraBoris' review for Cirith Ungol's King of the Dead is factually incorrect - it says "No speed metal to be found here". Apparently he did not listen to Death of the Sun...
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PseudoGoatKill
High Priest(ess) of the Order

Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 11:40 pm
Posts: 2550
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:17 pm 
 

Some more

Quote:
unbelievable - 96%
Written by Inexora on April 4th, 2006


This release just blew my mind. the record starts with acoustic intro of 'Sculpting the throne ov Seth' that lasts about ten seconds. Then the massacre begins. The first thing that you start to think when you're listening to this album is the überdrums. Drums are similar to Mayhem and Absu drumming. It's unbelievable how fast this Inferno is. And the same blast goes on and on throughout this whole record (though there are some parts which are a bit slower).
The guitar sounds are in some songs (for example in Conquer All's solo) similar to last Death album.
Everything works in this album. From singing to guitars to drumming. I found nothing to complain about. Masterpiece


Reply

Quote:
Your review uber sucks.
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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:59 am 
 

Quote:
Review for Cronian's Terra

Just like Borknagar - 90%
Written by blackdeath_chic on April 4th, 2006

These two men did something really good, very similar to Borknagar which is a great band


...D'OH!!

Reply: Please, just go ahead and give up.

-Speedy
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:10 pm 
 

For Severed Survival's The Awakening.

Quote:
complete shit - 2%
Written by rippingcorpse on April 5th, 2006

this inst worth shit sell outs


Reply: I wish you had points so I could take them away.
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Bloodstone
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 11:48 am
Posts: 431
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:39 pm 
 

Quote:
Reply: I wish you had points so I could take them away.


:lol:
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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:19 pm 
 

Quote:
Review for Cadaverous Incarnate's When the corpses only vomit tripes

discography - 99%
Written by seedgrows on April 10th, 2006


I need to know the cadaverous incarnate discography, that's all.



Uhhh... the fuck??
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Fatal_Metal
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:05 pm
Posts: 97
Location: India
PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 6:51 am 
 

speedemon86 wrote:
Quote:
Review for Cadaverous Incarnate's When the corpses only vomit tripes

discography - 99%
Written by seedgrows on April 10th, 2006


I need to know the cadaverous incarnate discography, that's all.



Uhhh... the fuck??


:|
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:24 pm 
 

Quote:
the god of noise - 98%
Written by luyu0726 on April 9th, 2006

Enbilulugugal is the most noisy band i have heard.They are different from usual noisy bands,such as Princess Army Wedding CombatIntestinal Disgorge or other noise grind bands from the USA and Japan.Their music is reems of black elements.The vocals are extremely noisy and the sounds of guitar and bass are exceedingly harsh.With no doubt,they are the most outstanding band in noisy extreme music field,they got infinitely power from Satan....


For Enbilulugugal's Noizemongers For Goatserpent
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:41 pm 
 

And another, for Kreator's PTK.

Quote:
The Best of Kreator - 99%
Written by henrikreator on April 10th, 2006

This CD is the most fast and violent trash metal Cd ever (with Slayers Reign in Blood).

1. Choir of the damned: This is a good intro for this record. First an electric guitar part which is quite dark. Then an acoustic guitar (and trumpets?!) part which puts some light in the song comes.
10/10

2. Ripping Corpse: Very fast riffs and good solos. The drumming is quite fast too. Mille’s voice shows that this record is heavy.
9.5/10

3. Death is your savior: Excellent riffs, the drumming is awesome and Ventor sings in a complete different register than Mille’s voice.
9.5/10

4. Pleasure to Kill: Very good and fast riffs and great vocals. Ventor has a good way of playing and the guitar solos are killer solos.
10/10

5. Riot of Violence: Good introduction, and good riffs. Great drumming. Classic song even after 20 years!
9.5/10

6. The Pestilence: One of the best songs of the album. The main riff is excellent and the song isn’t boring even if it is seven minutes long.
10/10

7. Carrion: My favorite song of the Cd. Good riffs, very fast and good drum playing and many, awesome solos. This song just makes you want turn up the volume more and more. Very much double-bass.
10/10

8. Command of the Blade: Good riffs and Ventor plays and sings well. But it stays the worst song of the Cd.
9/10

9. Under the Guillotine: Perfect song to finish the Cd. Good main riff, awesome solos and fast drumming. Probably the fastest song of the record with ripping corpse and pleasure to kill.
10/10

Conclusion: If you search fast and heavy trash meal, this is probably the best Cd you can buy.
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droneriot
RETIRED

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 5245
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:54 pm 
 

Quote:
Mille’s voice shows that this record is heavy.

Suuuure...
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Manchester_Devil
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 14, 2003 6:50 pm
Posts: 485
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 8:41 pm 
 

Fatal_Metal wrote:
speedemon86 wrote:
Quote:
Review for Cadaverous Incarnate's When the corpses only vomit tripes

discography - 99%
Written by seedgrows on April 10th, 2006


I need to know the cadaverous incarnate discography, that's all.



Uhhh... the fuck??


:|


:wtf:
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halfsharkalligator - Sabotaged site info, got Dursted. Then was dumb enough to post on the board so that we could get his IP.
Not_Halfsharkalligat - U so Funnay!

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Visionary
Veteran

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 2635
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:35 pm 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
Quote:
the god of noise - 98%
Written by luyu0726 on April 9th, 2006

Enbilulugugal is the most noisy band i have heard.They are different from usual noisy bands,such as Princess Army Wedding CombatIntestinal Disgorge or other noise grind bands from the USA and Japan.Their music is reems of black elements.The vocals are extremely noisy and the sounds of guitar and bass are exceedingly harsh.With no doubt,they are the most outstanding band in noisy extreme music field,they got infinitely power from Satan....


For Enbilulugugal's Noizemongers For Goatserpent


I can't tell from the review if the band is noisy.
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:08 am 
 

That was actually quite similar to what I would've replied had he had notifications turned on. :lol:
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:32 am 
 

I'm going to try to blitz the queue which has six days worth of reviews in it, so here you guys get to benefit with the cream of the crap.

Don't remember what this was for, but wow...

Quote:
its not as bad as said to be - 80%
Written by DurgenDoo on April 11th, 2006

ima give this an 80 atleast because its definitely better then some in the field of melodic/symphonic black metal but maybe comes off kind of generic when going up against some of the top notch bands in the genre.....Twilight Ophera is still a pretty young band as far as releases and i think they could easily grow into something special
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His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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droneriot
RETIRED

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 5245
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:53 am 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
I'm going to try to blitz the queue which has six days worth of reviews in it, so here you guys get to benefit with the cream of the crap.

Don't remember what this was for, but wow...

Quote:
its not as bad as said to be - 80%
Written by DurgenDoo on April 11th, 2006

ima give this an 80 atleast because its definitely better then some in the field of melodic/symphonic black metal but maybe comes off kind of generic when going up against some of the top notch bands in the genre.....Twilight Ophera is still a pretty young band as far as releases and i think they could easily grow into something special

Twilight Oprah??? :ugh:
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:08 pm 
 

For the new Satyricon...

Quote:
Now,Diabolical - 70%
Written by Mardukian on April 14th, 2006

It was about time for Satyricon to create a less interesting and influencial record.Having many similarities with Volcano it sure looks a not so inspiring work.But most of the blackmetallers are not afraid and are sure that Satyr and Frist will return in a few years stronger than now!


I'd like to thank this gent for speaking for all the blackmetallers.
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:20 pm 
 

Quote:
Nice Surprise - 65%
Written by nihildreams on April 13th, 2006

Well, when I first got this cd on my mail box (thank to a good friend of mine) I wasnt sure what to expect, so I went right away to my cd player and (honestly) I just sat down to wait for the worst; well well well not bad, not bad at all, a nice technique along with a great effort, not the best sound of all but it went beyond my expectations, of course, there's some things that this band needs to consider on their next release and is this point what made them loose points, the style, at first it sounds like if every song comes from a different band and in most cases a different style, maybe as it was their first release they're still trying new things but they surely need to define their style, beyond that musically its good, well, good for you guys great effort !!


Periods: 0
Semi-Colons: 1
Exclamation Marks: 2
Commas: 356
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His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:45 pm 
 

New Dissection reviews alert...

Quote:
More like ReinGayness - 5%
Written by BeastoftheStrike on April 15th, 2006

Wow.....Prison rape can turn melodic black metal into gothenberg. Just when you though it coundn't get worse than Mahi Khali, it did. Don't expect Thorns of Crimson Death, The Somberlaine, or A Land Forlorn, expect a second rate jack off job of In Flames and Dark Tranquility. I can't even remember a single riff (Probably because I've never heard the album) Long story short, Jon Nodveidt's penis is about as long as a toothpick. It appears the cosmos got a hold of Jon's balls and turned them into furry rabbits. These rabbits are gay.


Now back to the review. Picture all the worst elements of thrash like Morbid Saint, Hypnosia and Incinerator. They have nothing to do with this...But what bad elements?


TOM ARNOLD TOM ARNOLD TOM ARNOLD

Did you ever notice Dave Mustaine has a gigantic cock. Hence, the Gigantour. Did you know Dissection is like a even smaller cock.



Long story short, pick up the Agnostic Front album. Its got breakdowns.


I'm asking for a ban for this stupid fuck.

Quote:
It hurts to write this - 55%
Written by redundantsoldier on April 16th, 2006

8 years in prison do change someone. Jons vocals have changed, though not a lot, just a little bit less cold. The same thing happened between the Somberlain and Storm of the lights bane - Where dead angels lie. But than it didnt matter. The album was great because the music was great. Verry inspired.
That is the main problem with this album. The music is cliché. The intro (Nexion 218) has verry cliché drums. The riff is also uninspired. What is missing the most are the tremelo picking parts and the black metal riffs. The things that made Dissection a great band! The drums are also lacking in violence. Where are the blasts?
And than the worst of all, The lyrics. The lyrics used (in combination with the music) to create a fantastic atmosphere. None of this on this album. The lyrics are quite boring. Jon uses the same words in all the songs. Parts like "over orchards of griefance - Sorrow and tears!" are really missing. Now the lyrics are only about summoning some god. But trust me, with this kind of music that god would rather hide than be summoned.
It really hurts me to write this. Dissection used to be THE band for me.


Is é really that hard to summon up?

Quote:
Nu-metal Dissection - 0%
Written by Thrasher666 on April 16th, 2006

AND YOU THOUGHT THE WEBSITE SONGS WERE BAD.

So I just heard the new Dissection album...

I guess I would be into it if I was a fan of Korn or Atreyu.

Dissection is now literally nu-metal by definition. Or maybe you can call them Metalcore, but that is equally as fucking SHITTY AND FALSE.

Every single riff falls into the nu-metal or metalcore category. Not ONE metal moment on this entire album. What the fuck is with these guitar solos? It sounds like Avenged Sevenfold.... even new In Flames is heavier than this shit.

WHAT IS WITH THIS NU-METAL BREAKDOWN? TONS OF START/STOP RIFFING EVERYWHERE.

AND NOT ONE BLAST BEAT. NOT ONE. ACTUALLY, NOT EVEN A DECENT THRASH BEAT. THE ENTIRE ALBUM IS EXTREMELY MID-PACED, NOT A SINGLE FAST SONG.

And not only are they slow and boring, but it's not even metal.

FEAR THE RETURN OF SELLOUT METAL BANDS.

St. Anger is LITERALLY heavier than this album.


If you're a fan of Mudvayne, Korn, Avenged Sevenfold and Bleeding Through, check out this album.

And metal fans, I suggest you give it a listen to just to see that I AM NOT EXAGERRATING.

Cold Lake is more metal than this.


I took 222 of his 223 points. I'm too kind, I know.
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His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Xpert74
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:28 am
Posts: 284
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:54 pm 
 

I'm amazed he got 223 points, then made a piece of shit like that :O
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cinedracusio
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 7:59 am
Posts: 493
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:58 am 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
And another, for Kreator's PTK.

Quote:

If you search fast and heavy trash meal, this is probably the best Cd you can buy.

Trash meal :lol::lol::lol::lol:

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 8:51 am 
 

For Aeveron's Construality:

Quote:
really good - 100%
Written by jpmoser123 on April 19th, 2006

im 15 years old from montreal and i speak french lol one of the best album i ever see :P GOODLY HAH
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PseudoGoatKill
High Priest(ess) of the Order

Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 11:40 pm
Posts: 2550
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:34 pm 
 

I loved these.

Great Thrashin' - 80%
Written by Alcohoverdose on April 16th, 2006


Very good album, aggressive vocals and great lyrics!
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Earthcubed
Peregrinus sine aetate

Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:44 am
Posts: 2761
Location: Orocarni
PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:12 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
For Aeveron's Construality:

Quote:
really good - 100%
Written by jpmoser123 on April 19th, 2006

im 15 years old from montreal and i speak french lol one of the best album i ever see :P GOODLY HAH


:lol:
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:42 pm 
 

For Hibria's Defying the Rules:

Quote:
Instant Classic! - 100%
Written by FFC on April 18th, 2006

Is hard to make a review just listening to it one time, yeah you read right I have heard this cd one time (excepting the first 2 songs they were so cool I decided to listen to them more because I was sure that any song in the whole album was going to be half good at the first 2, well I was wrong), but when a band is so tight and so powerful it is difficult not to like the album in the first listen.

This guys are the living proof that no matter how many times it is done if you make it with this such BALLS the people will like it. The album begins with Steel Lord on Wheels, this is what I called a kick ass intro song, kicks you right in the face, several times, the ass kicking do not finishes here, in fact the album doesn’t stop punching your face until it finishes, no ballads in here just pure power metal with actual power on it.

All the way the album delivers awesome guitar solos, incredible vocal performance, breathtaking melodies, pumping bass, energetic drums. For the ones that are tired of over-used of keyboards in your power metals albums, you need this album. An instant classic.


Rejection Notice:
Umm... use spelling and grammar check. Actually describe the music in detail... wow that review was bad man, I'm sorry.

- OSS
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Xpert74
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:28 am
Posts: 284
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:55 am 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
For Aeveron's Construality:

Quote:
really good - 100%
Written by jpmoser123 on April 19th, 2006

im 15 years old from montreal and i speak french lol one of the best album i ever see :P GOODLY HAH


:lol: There's always a new way to write shit.
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Str8Hate wrote:
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Bloodstone
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 11:48 am
Posts: 431
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:32 am 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
For Hibria's Defying the Rules:

Quote:
Instant Classic! - 100%
Written by FFC on April 18th, 2006

Is hard to make a review just listening to it one time, yeah you read right I have heard this cd one time (excepting the first 2 songs they were so cool I decided to listen to them more because I was sure that any song in the whole album was going to be half good at the first 2, well I was wrong), but when a band is so tight and so powerful it is difficult not to like the album in the first listen.

This guys are the living proof that no matter how many times it is done if you make it with this such BALLS the people will like it. The album begins with Steel Lord on Wheels, this is what I called a kick ass intro song, kicks you right in the face, several times, the ass kicking do not finishes here, in fact the album doesn’t stop punching your face until it finishes, no ballads in here just pure power metal with actual power on it.

All the way the album delivers awesome guitar solos, incredible vocal performance, breathtaking melodies, pumping bass, energetic drums. For the ones that are tired of over-used of keyboards in your power metals albums, you need this album. An instant classic.


Rejection Notice:
Umm... use spelling and grammar check. Actually describe the music in detail... wow that review was bad man, I'm sorry.

- OSS


It's a bad review for sure, but I'd still say he's pretty fucking right on the money there. Gotta review this album soon myself.
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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:50 pm 
 

Reviews for Silencer (Swe)'s Death - Pierce Me

silencer death pierced me - 100%
Written by Kristal on April 29th, 2006

as a self cutter and psichiatric clinics guest, i can only admire how can Nattramn show his own suffering, his own grief and pain.
This album is the key to self destruction. i can feel his pain by his music and that's fantastic...neither other depressive black metal bands can do it, sounds are clear and perfect but the key is his voice, that claims for help.
I love this CD.i can rate only with 100!

~---~

Honestly, when I saw those first words, I got some sort of sadistic pleasure knowing exactly what I was going to do with this one.

Rejection notice:
"Pain? What do you think is so unique and exclusive about your pain? I happen to be bi-polar, and I know that I've seen, dealt, and recieved pain to reach levels more often seen accumulated in those twice my age. Stop being an emo whiny cunt. The last thing I would ever care for is to be exposed to another one of your abysmal reviews and fight the tempation to run and grab the nearest razorblade. That is just as soon as I find my eyeliner...

-Speedy"

regardless of what anybody thinks, I'm pretty proud of that one. It came real easy.
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It's silly to not like High on Fire.

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Earthcubed
Peregrinus sine aetate

Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:44 am
Posts: 2761
Location: Orocarni
PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:19 pm 
 

That was a bit harsh....................
































:lol:
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Stormblast
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 6:23 pm
Posts: 1418
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 8:41 am 
 

I want everyone to check out the ghastrah proxiima reviews. They are all biased and aim at one song only. I bet these people never even heard the music. They always talk shit about the memebers of the band as well...I personally think that they should be deleted.
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The Chosen One

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Bloodstone
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 11:48 am
Posts: 431
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 11:06 am 
 

Stormblast wrote:
I want everyone to check out the ghastrah proxiima reviews. They are all biased and aim at one song only. I bet these people never even heard the music. They always talk shit about the memebers of the band as well...I personally think that they should be deleted.


Nightgaunt wrote:
There's a sticky for this.


Talking about the "Oven Fodder" thread, not this one. This is a thread where mods post random stuff that was never accepted in the first place, usually for very obvious reasons.
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The promised lands of sand are raised and troths build on tales
From heights I now behold this circus' credo

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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 8:21 pm 
 

Stormblast wrote:
I want everyone to check out the ghastrah proxiima reviews. They are all biased and aim at one song only. I bet these people never even heard the music. They always talk shit about the memebers of the band as well...I personally think that they should be deleted.


Nightgaunt wrote:
There's a sticky for this.


DERR!! Try again.
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Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:56 am 
 

Oh, Stormy. You'll never change.

Next up, for Carpathian Forest's new album:

Quote:
Carpathian Forest Is Cult!!! - 96%
Written by Slowan on May 8th, 2006

Carpathian Forest Is Cult!!!
Total fucking black metal!!!
2. The Frostbitten Woodlands of Norway 100/100!!!

CARPATHIAN FOREST IS TRUE BLACK METAL FROM NORWAY!
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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:25 pm 
 

wow. I see number 2 (both figurative and literal) but what happened to number one (just literal)?
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Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

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Cianan
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat May 06, 2006 10:40 am
Posts: 220
Location: Foothills of the Adirondacks
PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 7:47 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
Oh, Stormy. You'll never change.

Next up, for Carpathian Forest's new album:

Quote:
Carpathian Forest Is Cult!!! - 96%
Written by Slowan on May 8th, 2006

Carpathian Forest Is Cult!!!
Total fucking black metal!!!
2. The Frostbitten Woodlands of Norway 100/100!!!

CARPATHIAN FOREST IS TRUE BLACK METAL FROM NORWAY!



WOW! This thread just made my day. :lol:

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