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Karnstein_Records
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 am
Posts: 1201
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 5:42 pm 
 

Lord_Jotun wrote:
mi sento brillo (I feel tipsy) = I feel myself tipsy


In all fairness this does apply to me sometimes when I'm drinking alone.
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Ultraboris wrote:
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Karnstein Records
www.karnsteinrecords.com

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DeathByTheSword
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:52 pm
Posts: 1084
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2009 2:25 pm 
 

Quote:
FUCK THIS ALBEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That sounded like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.:lol:

THIS ALBEM IS ONE UGLY MODAFAKA!!
GET TO THE REVIEW SUBMISSIONS!!
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mrchris
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 7:32 pm
Posts: 954
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 12:38 am 
 

Does "FUCK THIS ALBEM!" beat the "What a sex!" since they both imply the same sort of thing? :lol:
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Lord_Jotun
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 2205
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 4:11 pm 
 

Karnstein_Records wrote:
Lord_Jotun wrote:
mi sento brillo (I feel tipsy) = I feel myself tipsy


In all fairness this does apply to me sometimes when I'm drinking alone.


Babelfish binge ftw! ;)
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asd27
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:42 pm
Posts: 201
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:20 pm 
 

DeathByTheSword wrote:
Quote:
FUCK THIS ALBEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That sounded like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.:lol:

THIS ALBEM IS ONE UGLY MODAFAKA!!
GET TO THE REVIEW SUBMISSIONS!!


LMAO.

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Andromeda_Unchained
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 3:46 pm
Posts: 55
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 5:00 pm 
 

DeathByTheSword wrote:
Quote:
FUCK THIS ALBEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That sounded like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.:lol:

THIS ALBEM IS ONE UGLY MODAFAKA!!
GET TO THE REVIEW SUBMISSIONS!!


That has tickled me severely pink.

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asd27
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:42 pm
Posts: 201
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 8:44 pm 
 

DeathByTheSword wrote:
Quote:
FUCK THIS ALBEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That sounded like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.:lol:

THIS ALBEM IS ONE UGLY MODAFAKA!!
GET TO THE REVIEW SUBMISSIONS!!


Sig'd.

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Gravemarker
The Bloody Heartland

Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:32 pm
Posts: 1420
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 9:43 pm 
 

asd27 wrote:
DeathByTheSword wrote:
Quote:
FUCK THIS ALBEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That sounded like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.:lol:

THIS ALBEM IS ONE UGLY MODAFAKA!!
GET TO THE REVIEW SUBMISSIONS!!


Sig'd.


No smilies in sig, dude. A mod will see it and delete your sig.
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asd27
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:42 pm
Posts: 201
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2009 6:36 pm 
 

Gravemarker wrote:
asd27 wrote:
DeathByTheSword wrote:
Quote:
FUCK THIS ALBEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That sounded like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.:lol:

THIS ALBEM IS ONE UGLY MODAFAKA!!
GET TO THE REVIEW SUBMISSIONS!!


Sig'd.


No smilies in sig, dude. A mod will see it and delete your sig.


Sorry about that.

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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2649
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2009 4:39 pm 
 

For Drudkh's "Songs Of Grief & Solitude":

An 'imaginary' Croatian wrote:
A lonely maiden stands in the forest. As the sun sets down, she is overcome by despair. She shares her feelings with the forest. Late at night, it begins to rain. The maiden falls on her knees and starts to cry. She remains there.

Next morning, a group of children are playing near the forest. The land echoes with cheerful voices and sounds of fresh morning.

Years and years later, the forest is in sorrow. It's ancient inhabitants are long gone. There is no trace of the young maiden.


These are just some of the emotions and imagery this album has blessed me with. Drudkh have achieved that incredible atmosphere once again. The name is well-fitting. If you comprehend this album enough, you will get to experience some grief and solitude. The sweet folk melodies will take you to ancient times, provoke images of people wearing traditional clothes, hunting inside the forest or such. It is beatiful.

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invoking_the_majesty
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 1025
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2009 5:04 pm 
 

Derigin wrote:
For Drudkh's "Songs Of Grief & Solitude":

An 'imaginary' Croatian wrote:
A lonely maiden stands in the forest. As the sun sets down, she is overcome by despair. She shares her feelings with the forest. Late at night, it begins to rain. The maiden falls on her knees and starts to cry. She remains there.

Next morning, a group of children are playing near the forest. The land echoes with cheerful voices and sounds of fresh morning.

Years and years later, the forest is in sorrow. It's ancient inhabitants are long gone. There is no trace of the young maiden.


These are just some of the emotions and imagery this album has blessed me with. Drudkh have achieved that incredible atmosphere once again. The name is well-fitting. If you comprehend this album enough, you will get to experience some grief and solitude. The sweet folk melodies will take you to ancient times, provoke images of people wearing traditional clothes, hunting inside the forest or such. It is beatiful.


It was going so well until he spelt beautiful wrong. :(

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MaDTransilvanian
Caravan Beyond Redemption

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Posts: 3862
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2009 7:55 pm 
 

invoking_the_majesty wrote:
Derigin wrote:
For Drudkh's "Songs Of Grief & Solitude":

An 'imaginary' Croatian wrote:
A lonely maiden stands in the forest. As the sun sets down, she is overcome by despair. She shares her feelings with the forest. Late at night, it begins to rain. The maiden falls on her knees and starts to cry. She remains there.

Next morning, a group of children are playing near the forest. The land echoes with cheerful voices and sounds of fresh morning.

Years and years later, the forest is in sorrow. It's ancient inhabitants are long gone. There is no trace of the young maiden.


These are just some of the emotions and imagery this album has blessed me with. Drudkh have achieved that incredible atmosphere once again. The name is well-fitting. If you comprehend this album enough, you will get to experience some grief and solitude. The sweet folk melodies will take you to ancient times, provoke images of people wearing traditional clothes, hunting inside the forest or such. It is beatiful.


It was going so well until he spelt beautiful wrong. :(


It's an interesting idea for a review indeed. Incomplete because of the absence of almost any solid musical description, but interesting nevertheless.
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invoking_the_majesty
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 1025
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 3:30 am 
 

MaDTransilvanian wrote:
invoking_the_majesty wrote:
Derigin wrote:
For Drudkh's "Songs Of Grief & Solitude":

An 'imaginary' Croatian wrote:
A lonely maiden stands in the forest. As the sun sets down, she is overcome by despair. She shares her feelings with the forest. Late at night, it begins to rain. The maiden falls on her knees and starts to cry. She remains there.

Next morning, a group of children are playing near the forest. The land echoes with cheerful voices and sounds of fresh morning.

Years and years later, the forest is in sorrow. It's ancient inhabitants are long gone. There is no trace of the young maiden.


These are just some of the emotions and imagery this album has blessed me with. Drudkh have achieved that incredible atmosphere once again. The name is well-fitting. If you comprehend this album enough, you will get to experience some grief and solitude. The sweet folk melodies will take you to ancient times, provoke images of people wearing traditional clothes, hunting inside the forest or such. It is beatiful.


It was going so well until he spelt beautiful wrong. :(


It's an interesting idea for a review indeed. Incomplete because of the absence of almost any solid musical description, but interesting nevertheless.


Agreed. When people read a review they expect it to cover the content of the album, not produce imagery that doesn't. Nevertheless, the guy would probably make a good author.

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The_Evil_Hat
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:23 pm
Posts: 73
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 3:59 pm 
 

I must say, i'm surprised. i thought the challenge would lead to a slew of awful reviews. i'm almost disappointed, actually. I mean, it's probably good and all, but that could've been damn hilarious.

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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 524
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 4:28 pm 
 

People purposely competing for the Challenge don't post awful reviews. Some may be too light and rejected as such, but nothing warranting the infamous "crappy diem" thread.

However... Napero, caught into the endless stream of reviews, let slip a little wonder of wannabe nazi gimmick (I hope for the reviewer - probably a friend from the guy in the band - it was intended as a joke, but I'm afraid he was dead serious) I then reported to him and he consequently deleted. The best part was when the guy justified the presence of a weaker track on the release by the fact the Jews must have infected the mind of the otherwise so-evil musician at that time.

And no, it wasn't for a NSBM/RAC band. It was for a deathcore one. Can't remember the name, of course.
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DeathRiderDoom
Pro Sports Warder

Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:17 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 11:20 pm 
 

Sean16 wrote:
People purposely competing for the Challenge don't post awful reviews. Some may be too light and rejected as such, but nothing warranting the infamous "crappy diem" thread.

However... Napero, caught into the endless stream of reviews, let slip a little wonder of wannabe nazi gimmick (I hope for the reviewer - probably a friend from the guy in the band - it was intended as a joke, but I'm afraid he was dead serious) I then reported to him and he consequently deleted. The best part was when the guy justified the presence of a weaker track on the release by the fact the Jews must have infected the mind of the otherwise so-evil musician at that time.

And no, it wasn't for a NSBM/RAC band. It was for a deathcore one. Can't remember the name, of course.


how many reviews (and how many virgins) were rejected during the contest? i didnt get one rejection, although a few were of minimal quality. think anyone actually competing in the challenge was doing it in a pretty noble fashion - not really for the non-existent glory. i hope my reviews dont end up here. :uh oh:
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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2649
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 1:03 pm 
 

For Gorgoroth's "Twilight of the Idols (In Conspiracy with Satan)":

he has band wrote:
i think this is a very very good album cuz, more than the others bands of black metal (like mayhem) just dont make their albums with more technology...this album was maked just like a very very cool kind of technology, good sound like very raw, but still have the escence of true black metal...

are a very good band, the next album was very good but i like this one more...cuz have sound more original (not like every "black metal band")

but still with the Gorgoroth touch....like almost
all bands in the scene of black metal (obviously not all)

i just expect gorgoroth made more albums with their touch, their escence, but with their originallity....i have band, and im really inspired by gorgoroth at the time to make songs!! very cool guys!!

Keep it metal!!

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9855
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 1:37 pm 
 

He likes how Gorgoroth "touches" him :lol:
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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5ealchris
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:39 pm
Posts: 180
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 10:21 pm 
 

Woolie_Wool wrote:
morbert wrote:
Dutch-English failure...

laat me toch met rust (leave me alone) - me nevertheless leaves with rest

rot toch snel een eind op (just fuck off) - rapidly an end nevertheless rots on

bwahahaha

that truly sucks.
Boycot


Well, really colloquial/vulgar phrases like "fuck off" never translate well. The Spanish for "holy shit" translates to "I shit on the communion wafers!"


I shit on the communion wafers, sounds better than holy shit!!!

It would also make a good black metal song.

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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2649
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:48 pm 
 

For Gwar's "We Kill Everything":
Finn with ADD or just a normal Finn? wrote:
Yes! I listen to GWAR. I'm not a bigest fan but I really like the music so... I have to say that this album, maybe most underrated GWAR album ever, is actually a damn good master piece. Album starts with an great punk/metal song Baby Raper

Baby Raper:
Great song, and lyric theme is really GWARish. This is like an mix of Heavy Metal, Punk Rock and Thrash Metal. Great guitar work by guitarists...

First song tells really what album is going to be. A mishmash of porno lyrics, violent lyrics, Metal at its best and FISH FUCK!

Fish Fuck:
This is the "good old GWAR" style song. Again the lyrical theme is GWARish. Name tells everything: "FISH FUCK! This can't be serious song!" and its not. Punk Rock riffs and funny lyrics. Those who take things too seriously... Don't listen this song!

So when Fish Fuck has ended you should really smile a wide smile and laugh! Then starts next song which is The Performer.

The Performer:
Seriously, first time I heard this I didn't remember enything! But this is actually funny song... Well... This is something like from This Toilet Earth which is album that I don't really like. This is again some "stupid" songs by GWAR. Lyrics are the part which really saves the song from complete destruction.

So The Performer is little badder song... Album continues with suprise suprise an instrumental song A Short History Of The End Of The World (Part VII (The Final Chapter (Abbr.)))... That name is a joke right?!

A Short History Of The End Of The World (Part VII (The Final Chapter (Abbr.))):
For an instrumental song this is actually good! There are some parts really metallish and there is even some Iron Maiden soundin melodies near the end. Cool!

For metal heads ASHOTEOTWPVTFCA (:D) is really moshy song. And album continues...

Escape from the Mooselodge:
I'm from Finland and my English is pretty good but first time this name gave me one tought! WHAT A FUCK IS MOOSELODGE!? Like moose is an elk or something yeah! But like what a fucking name includes word MOOSELODGE!!!
FUCK!! But like always the baddest name has good song. This is really cool even if this song haven't seen a real metal music. Lyrics are also good escept for Mooselodge word.

FUCK! Mooselodge like... Yeah and album continues... I have to mention that for some who don't know albums lyrical theme is included in It's Sleazy -movie so maybe somethings are those littlebit movietheme jokes that you just don't understand without seeing a movie. I haven't seen an inlay of this motherfucker so I don't know if this album has some kind of story. But I think Tune From Da Moon is one of those movietheme songs...

Tune From Da Moon:
This is again something different from GWAR as I remember the band. But damn cool still. Something punkish really... And mister Scroda Moon or what a fuck it is is doing lyrics here...

Allright. So we continue from the TFDM and then comes Jiggle The Handle...

Jiggle the Handle:
Lyrics are ultimately funny... I laughed my ass of when I heard this!!!
Music follows lyrics perfectly!

So after a good laugh we get another. NITRO BURNING FUNNY BONG!

Nitro Burning Funny Bong:
I think Mr. Brockie was really pissed off at those people who make songs about dangers of drugs and he made these lyrics. This song is my personal favourite from the album. Rock n' Roll up your ass!

So now the best one is heard... but it doesn't mean that others left would be bad...
Next one is Jagermonsta

Jagermonsta:
I have to say that this is one of those "good old GWAR songs". Pretty thrashy and punky. ITS GWAR ALL THE WAY!

Jagermonsta and Nitro Burning are rising the points pretty much. Because there's songs like The Performer and after that you don't get a really great song before nitro... But it continues with My Girly Ways.

My Girly Ways:
OH MY GOD! This should be taken off from the album! This is baddest song from the album... I have always tought that Slymenstra is good singer but this is like from some Spice Girls song. I don't respect this.......

My Girly Ways was real point dropper! So The Master Has a Butt...

The Master Has a Butt:
Again something funny. Name tells agains something about the seriousness of this song. Not bad at all.

The Master Has a Butt takes points back from My Girly Ways. It makes you laugh and so you don't even remember MGW. Next song is same as the title.

We Kill Everything:
This is Rock n' Roll. This is long but not boring. Only mistake is that it has no hook that you could hook in if you know what I know. Its just a song inside the album... but its not bat all so it doesn't drop the points which are now in 75 % if I give you little clue what I'm talking about...

So when We Kill Everything is over its time for something completely different...
CHILD!

Child:
First you think this is something punky. NO! This is actually something what I would call Arabian Blues with some parts of rock n' roll and metal... No comments about this :D...

YeaH! After Child there is another song complete different. Penile Drip of course.

Penile Drip:
There is actually no use to do eny review of this. Laught your ass off at this!

So let's continue... Mary Anne...

Mary Anne:
This is punk! It has good guitar melodies. And Brockie is not singing in this also.
Not bad at all. Makes a little feeling in music and lyrics give you a little feeling about the shit in world :D...

NEXT!

Friend:
PUNK ROCK! This has no brain inside of it. Good damn absolutely GWARish!

And so the last one is classic with Nitro... This is the song which will play repeat in your head for all of your life! FUCKING AN ANIMAL!

Fucking An Animal:
So... How can you not love this song! Its amazing! All I hate in it is those fucking animal sounds over every swearings... FEEL FREE TO SAY FUCK!
Yeah! So this is the song tha really raises points from 80 to 85... Its amazing how stupid this song can be... And if this would be out in 80's there would be P.M.R.C breathing to MR. Brockies neck.

So after all We Kill Everything is not bad album. Its not the best GWAR I know but its still real deal! I would say that this album has highlights like Babyraper, Fish Fuck, Nitro Burning Funny Bong, Jagermonsta and Fucking An Animal...

Enjoy your self with this piece of great music and get an good laugh!

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DeathRiderDoom
Pro Sports Warder

Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:17 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:55 pm 
 

^ thats about the most extreme example of how bad the "song by song" formula can be.
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promo track track from 'Another Dimension' LP
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 19238
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:59 pm 
 

DeathRiderDoom wrote:
^ thats about the most extreme example of how AWESOME the "song by song" formula can be.


Fixed for accuracy there, bud.
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DeathRiderDoom
Pro Sports Warder

Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:17 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:16 pm 
 

"Get an good laugh" is a nice touch to finish on....
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promo track track from 'Another Dimension' LP
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hailmarduk666
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:43 pm
Posts: 27
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:19 pm 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
Nightgaunt wrote:
For Dimmu Borgir -- Puritanical Blah Blah Whatever.

Quote:
Black Metal At It's Finest.... - 100%
Written by Odio_Pieno on October 14th, 2005

The Best Produced Album They Have Done All Around Everything Comes In Clear And Does Not Sound There Older Stuff Where It Is The Same Rift Over And Over Really If You Can't Say It Is Not A God Like Album Then Don't Listen To Metal Really Cause You Have No Idea What Your Talking About And The Whole Thing That Orchestra Is Lame Or Overrated Then You Really Don't Know Your Roots The Is Great On All Aspects And It Tops There Musical Capablities.

m/ "Keep The Metal Faith Alive" - Chuck Schuldiner m/


"Rift" is probably the single worst piece of metal-related Engrish ever. Hundreds of times worse than "trash" or "solows."

My reply:

Nightgaunt wrote:
End your life. Do it painfully; do it brutally; do it messily. But most importantly....do it soon.


WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


I was blown away by the fact that it was apparently important to the..erm...author (I guess I could call him/her), to capitalize every single word; beginning of a sentence, proper noun or otherwise. :nono:

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DeathRiderDoom
Pro Sports Warder

Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:17 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:32 pm 
 

i cant get over this term "rift" - its just ridiculous. where do people get that from?
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promo track track from 'Another Dimension' LP
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OlioTheSmall
Handsome (marsupial) Beast

Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 11:08 pm
Posts: 2585
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:25 am 
 

DeathRiderDoom wrote:
i cant get over this term "rift" - its just ridiculous. where do people get that from?

Probably the same place that spawned AIDS and Dani Filth.
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DeathRiderDoom
Pro Sports Warder

Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:17 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 7:12 am 
 

OlioTheSmall wrote:
DeathRiderDoom wrote:
i cant get over this term "rift" - its just ridiculous. where do people get that from?

Probably the same place that spawned AIDS and Dani Filth.


:lol:
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Razorwyre:
promo track track from 'Another Dimension' LP
"The best speed metal album of the year"

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DeathByTheSword
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:52 pm
Posts: 1084
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:22 am 
 

asd27 wrote:
Gravemarker wrote:
asd27 wrote:
DeathByTheSword wrote:
Quote:
FUCK THIS ALBEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That sounded like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.:lol:

THIS ALBEM IS ONE UGLY MODAFAKA!!
GET TO THE REVIEW SUBMISSIONS!!


Sig'd.


No smilies in sig, dude. A mod will see it and delete your sig.


Sorry about that.


You know you can just erase the smillie.
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TheNiceNightmare wrote:
I love Norway and all, but they just can't get their trolls right.

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Bleak731
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:12 pm
Posts: 42
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:08 pm 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
speedemon86 wrote:
Reviews for EVO's Animal de Ciudad

Quote:
animal de ciudad - 100%
Written by agord on October 10th, 2005


lyrics of the songs of the album animal de ciudad


Is this even a real person? Fuckin a.


Jesus Christ. :lol:


Don't make fun of him, he's a gourd.

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Fpqxz
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:22 am
Posts: 243
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:28 pm 
 

Woolie_Wool wrote:
Well, really colloquial/vulgar phrases like "fuck off" never translate well. The Spanish for "holy shit" translates to "I shit on the communion wafers!"



I think I just found my sig quote. This is just priceless. :lol:

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Luisangel91
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 239
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:14 am 
 

Fpqxz wrote:
Woolie_Wool wrote:
Well, really colloquial/vulgar phrases like "fuck off" never translate well. The Spanish for "holy shit" translates to "I shit on the communion wafers!"



I think I just found my sig quote. This is just priceless. :lol:


Yeah, that would be "me cago en la hostia". A quite hilarious phrase in spanish.

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ToeMentor
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:10 am
Posts: 5
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 4:11 am 
 

Pretty hilarious that he thought his English was pretty good. It just hurt my brain trying to read all that. :(

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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2649
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:41 pm 
 

For Neurosis' "Times of Grace":
an old fat fucking man wrote:
1999 was an extremely eclectic year in extreme music. The oncoming century of extreme metal, would now come upon us. What better way to send it off than with this masterpiece known as the NEUROSIS album: TIMES OF GRACE?

The fucking final output of extreme metal and extreme ideologies, blending psychedelic spectrums, with different paces. One thing that will always stand out to me from that year is the Neurosis album: TIMES OF GRACE. The convergence of open mindedness was to be fused with the darkest days of metal and anything dealing with doom and gloom.

This album literally ushered in the devil days of the George W. Bush administration and man was that fucking depressing. In fact, I believe that every administration in America that will ever exist will only base its evilness upon the day that mother fucker was sworn into office! In some ways, this album made those terrible days a little bit less depressing.

This was a pretty hectic year during my life when this beast was released. I was a really, really fucking depressed guy during the particular year this album came out! One of the craziest years of my life!

I will describe the sound of this album in this way:

1)

(a) You thought Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon album was the only thing that could be as fucked up as this album.

(b) Did you even know that their alter ego/ Tribes Of Neurot recorded a companion to this album, to be played at the exact same times? Have you ever smoked your salts worth of weed and tried it out at the same time?

2) The mind raping of Scott Kelly's channeled riffs can only be likened to, as being washed ashore, and onto a subconscious, primitive island, one island you will never escape from, its time to learn how to hunt.

3) Dave Edwardson's bass perfects punk rock, steals the decade of the 90's himself, and writes it in his own diary. His vocals are like listening to torpedoes being shot out into the depths of sea during midnight.

4) Jason Roeder's drums don't even seem to come from him, but the sky. The drums are recorded in such as way, that it can feel like that manna from the sky is beating down on my skull, like Moses crying to some crazy Jehovahn god, and I can't help but to say what the fuck.

That year I got a tattoo placed upon my arm, inspired by the symbol above the song Under The Surface. I had that tattoo connected from my shoulder, down my arm, connected by the cigarette smoking man from Neurosis' Pain Of Mind album. That means absolutely nothing when it comes to describing the theories behind the music of this album. It is the only way I know how to put it.

I'm an old fat fucking man now, but I will never forget how inspired one could possibly be from his favorite band. During those days, I was already being floored to my ass with black metal, death metal, doom metal, stoner, and all that bullshit in which I love. This album was something special.

This was different.

The reason this album is the epiphany of the concept of apocalypse, is because it beat down the fucking hammer that was known as the "end of the 90's".

I'd be a fucking fool trying to decipher the wisdom presented by this album, through its hyper-dimensionally inspired lyrics, and it's out of this fucking world sound.

10 years since its release, and the beat of that tune still rings on, and forever-fuck do I hope it does.

Your shell is hollow
Your shell is hollow

So am I

The rest will follow
The rest will follow

So will I!!!!!!!


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Luisangel91
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 239
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:57 am 
 

an old fat fucking man wrote:
I was a really, really fucking depressed guy.

Indeed.
an old fat fucking man wrote:
I'm an old fat fucking man now.

You are still a really, really fucking depressed guy.

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dont_know_any_id
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 36
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:28 pm 
 

mrchris wrote:
Does "FUCK THIS ALBEM!" beat the "What a sex!" since they both imply the same sort of thing?


I finaly found a sig!
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mrchris wrote:
Does "FUCK THIS ALBEM!" beat the "What a sex!" since they both imply the same sort of thing?

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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2649
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:23 am 
 

For Neftaraka's "Raw Ist Law":
'raw doesn't mean shit-sounding turds' Front Member #1 wrote:
Fukk, this is true 'Black Metal Hutan'. This is Malaysian Forest Black Metal. Heart and soul. Minimalist raw black Metal stripped bare into its hideous charm. I dare not adding much, for this is just what it aims to be. References of early Darkthrone and the likes are just mere references, Neftaraka is more than able to hold unto its own. The production is just right for their hymns, a fact I very much applaud since that I'm from the 'raw doesn't mean shit-sounding turds' Front. Embrace the charm of our own deep, damp, hideous forest. Its prowess are endless. Just let Neftaraka shows you a glimpse or two. Don't ever come out of there Neftaraka, we need more of these. Damn you.

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I_Am_Vengeance
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 1:11 pm
Posts: 1695
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 8:34 am 
 

Derigin wrote:
For Neftaraka's "Raw Ist Law":
'raw doesn't mean shit-sounding turds' Front Member #1 wrote:
Fukk, this is true 'Black Metal Hutan'. This is Malaysian Forest Black Metal. Heart and soul. Minimalist raw black Metal stripped bare into its hideous charm. I dare not adding much, for this is just what it aims to be. References of early Darkthrone and the likes are just mere references, Neftaraka is more than able to hold unto its own. The production is just right for their hymns, a fact I very much applaud since that I'm from the 'raw doesn't mean shit-sounding turds' Front. Embrace the charm of our own deep, damp, hideous forest. Its prowess are endless. Just let Neftaraka shows you a glimpse or two. Don't ever come out of there Neftaraka, we need more of these. Damn you.



"References of early Darkthrone and the likes are just mere references"

Intriguing....

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ScourgeOfDeath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:35 am
Posts: 1083
Location: India
PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:37 pm 
 

Does anyone else think that reviews that are found in this thread nowadays could have been seen in the oven fodder thread a few years back?
This review is shit but it is way better than a lot of other reviews I ve seen in this thread. The quality of even the crappy diem reviews has greatly improved it seems.
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"That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die."

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MarkLikesMetal
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2009 8:50 pm
Posts: 349
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 6:27 pm 
 

Pale_Pilgrim wrote:
What the fuck is "gurglegrind"? Sounds pretty made-up.


I don't know, but that word is sure fun to say.
Perhaps grindcore with very pitchshifted, gurgly sounding vocals?

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Ribos
Radioactive Man

Joined: Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:10 pm
Posts: 3029
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 9:10 pm 
 

ScourgeOfDeath wrote:
Does anyone else think that reviews that are found in this thread nowadays could have been seen in the oven fodder thread a few years back?
This review is shit but it is way better than a lot of other reviews I ve seen in this thread. The quality of even the crappy diem reviews has greatly improved it seems.

That's a good thing. Granted, it means less hilarity in this thread, but it means much more useful reviews for the ones that get accepted.

That said, that Neftaraka review was still horrid. I like the "Damn you." on the end there, especially.
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843182 wrote:
biohazard the band is not is when you want to add it to tell you that there is

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