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ThrashGordon
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2004 10:15 am
Posts: 1023
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 4:52 am 
 

Sean16 wrote:
Fuck, I hadn't even noticed OSS was a mod now. Reviews standards are gonna increase...


Not before time...

Well done OSS. Much deserved.
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 11:09 am 
 

Quote:
hellraiser - 100%
Written by thcok on January 15th, 2006

tzutrizrtu


After wading through around 200 reviews the past day or so, I end on this.
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 2:46 pm 
 

Quote:
Nature's Elements - Uprising Of The Elements - 100%
Written by TheImmortalSlayer on January 16th, 2006


The true in first when i god that disc from my friend Ipos (R.I.P) I didn't thought that they're so good beacause first of all - it's just a demo with their first song and I wasn't so shoure that they're that well but when i heard the music, the vocalist and i heard their pagan lyrics i was truely shocked beacause for a little demo that was EXCELENT demo that i've never heard before !!!
So if you'll have the chance to hear it --------> DON'T MISS THAT CHANCE beacause they're so good that your gonna listen to them all day !
By the way listen carefully the the second and third songs (Stihii Gryadut & Werewolf) beacause i think that they're the best of Nature's Elements (well... for now they're the best i think).


Ick.
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Corimngul
Freddled Gruntbuggly

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2004 12:18 pm
Posts: 1823
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 1:27 pm 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
Quote:
hellraiser - 100%
Written by thcok on January 15th, 2006

tzutrizrtu


After wading through around 200 reviews the past day or so, I end on this.


Hehe. Expressive.
Congratulations on becoming a mod by the way! It was a good choice.
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Wra1th1s wrote:
When I meant EVERY black metal band of course I don't mean EVERY black metal band.
Montmirail wrote:
Because I hate ID 100369. Numbers 19, 29, 39, 49, 59 are incomplete and I hate it!

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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:21 pm 
 

Quote:
Review for Slayer (US)'s Reign in Blood

the best thrash album ever?? i doubt... - 70%
Written by thetrooper on January 17th, 2006


rated by many as d best thrash album ever has its own moments... i d say dat peace sells, or pleasure to kill s much much much better than reign in blood... even puppets rates above this.. but it certainly has its moments... the riffage in angel of ceath n opening in raining blood will leave any metal head banging his head.. if u r not banging, then u r not a metalhead.. dats for sure...well...... initial screaming in angel of death s so stupid.. ok it shows dat this song s all bout anger... but man d music s tooo good...the song reign in blood falls frm its peak after d initial riff... too many fillers.. but a good album.. mind u not a grat album like pleasure to kill or peace sells or puppets or beneath the remains...
i ll probably say dat seasons is their best album after listenin to all d slayer albums very intensively to find out which s their best..
after all its slayer.... so i recommend u this album.. but don say it s the greatest thrash metal album of all time... coz there r too many competitors...


a reaction somewhere between "oh god my eyes" and "i need to fart"

Bad reviews cause flatus. Be warned.

response:

"Either you're immature or you're past your expiration date. Perhaps both. Either way you're a moron. Go away and don't return.

-Speedy"
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Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.


Last edited by CandideCamera on Wed Jan 18, 2006 3:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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PseudoGoatKill
High Priest(ess) of the Order

Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 11:40 pm
Posts: 2550
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:28 pm 
 

Oh how I weep.

Quote:
Exelente Album - 100%
Written by jenioc6 on January 17th, 2006


Sin duda el mejor album de moonspell
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KayTeeBee
Veteran

Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 4:04 pm
Posts: 2595
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:54 pm 
 

Congrats on being a mod OSS :beer:

That's why my reviews now get accepted even faster...
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Nazxul wrote:
They are not getting on the site. Ever. Go whine about it on your blog.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:40 pm 
 

Yar. I don't do much of anything with the band queue, so I make up for it by blitzing the review queue in record time.
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 1:06 pm 
 

Quote:
just to note.. - 100%
Written by LittleEvil on January 18th, 2006

this album is a masterpiece!
A Dream Of Beauty&Desire Lost, The Coldest Winter, Fallen.... the acoustic beauty of From The Grave..
just..i cannot describe the feeling....


Reply: Come back when you can.
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1419
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 1:19 pm 
 

KayTeeBee wrote:
Congrats on being a mod OSS :beer:

That's why my reviews now get accepted even faster...


Aye!
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 7:01 pm 
 

For Darkthrone's Too Old, Too Cold:

Quote:
666 - 90%
Written by Cultus on January 27th, 2006

This record is not for idiots like Bastard son of god who just like idiot "black metal" bands like dark funeral. FUCK!!!

Darkthrone's first ever single and this realy kill.

1. Too Old, Too Cold 9+
2. High On Cold War 9-
3. Love In A Void 7+
4. Graveyard Slut 9-

FUCK YOU!!!
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Visionary
Veteran

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 2635
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:03 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
For Darkthrone's Too Old, Too Cold:

Quote:
666 - 90%
Written by Cultus on January 27th, 2006

This record is not for idiots like Bastard son of god who just like idiot "black metal" bands like dark funeral. FUCK!!!

Darkthrone's first ever single and this realy kill.

1. Too Old, Too Cold 9+
2. High On Cold War 9-
3. Love In A Void 7+
4. Graveyard Slut 9-

FUCK YOU!!!



9- and 9+ :lol: Stupid noob.
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:17 pm 
 

For Disincarnate's Dreams of the Carrion Kind:

Quote:
Dreams of the carrion kind - 100%
Written by praveenmenon on February 2nd, 2006

Totally awesome....a historical landmark in the history of death metal...absolutely perfect...all out....death metal at its best


Reply:

Quote:
You might want to take a trip back to the doc. No doubt he'll be happy to have his wedding ring back. That'll teach him to wear the damn thing while performing a lobotomy.
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Corpus_Chain
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:34 pm
Posts: 120
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 7:37 am 
 

I haven't actually tried to submit a review yet, hence my question, but is it possible to submit a review without giving it a percentage? I don't really like to rate stuff - I prefer to just describe it.

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ThrashGordon
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2004 10:15 am
Posts: 1023
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 7:45 am 
 

Corpus_Chain wrote:
I haven't actually tried to submit a review yet, hence my question, but is it possible to submit a review without giving it a percentage? I don't really like to rate stuff - I prefer to just describe it.


Seriously how hard is it to give it a number score? Otherwise it will just be a 0% no matter what you say about it, and I dare say it will be rejected...

This site would be a nightmare with no scores. Do you really expect people to read through every word of up to 20 reviews for an album just to figure out if it is any good?
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Corpus_Chain
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:34 pm
Posts: 120
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:59 am 
 

ThrashGordon wrote:
Seriously how hard is it to give it a number score? Otherwise it will just be a 0% no matter what you say about it, and I dare say it will be rejected...

This site would be a nightmare with no scores. Do you really expect people to read through every word of up to 20 reviews for an album just to figure out if it is any good?



Well I don't know about you, but I don't automatically assume something is crap just because someone gave it 1 star or 5% in a review - that would be mental. I ignore the ratings and read what it says to find out what it's like - if they say it has 'underlying nazi tendencies' but they are nazi, then they will give it 100%, but I will know that I won't like it! So what is written is more important. I'm sure you can agree with that! If it wasn't more important, the reviews section of this site would just be loads of percentages and graphs, and that would be meaningless.

Anyways, I take it the answer to my question is 'no'? Well, I'm sure I will find a way to give things a score.

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ThrashGordon
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2004 10:15 am
Posts: 1023
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:32 am 
 

Corpus_Chain wrote:
ThrashGordon wrote:
Seriously how hard is it to give it a number score? Otherwise it will just be a 0% no matter what you say about it, and I dare say it will be rejected...

This site would be a nightmare with no scores. Do you really expect people to read through every word of up to 20 reviews for an album just to figure out if it is any good?



Well I don't know about you, but I don't automatically assume something is crap just because someone gave it 1 star or 5% in a review - that would be mental. I ignore the ratings and read what it says to find out what it's like - if they say it has 'underlying nazi tendencies' but they are nazi, then they will give it 100%, but I will know that I won't like it! So what is written is more important. I'm sure you can agree with that! If it wasn't more important, the reviews section of this site would just be loads of percentages and graphs, and that would be meaningless.

Anyways, I take it the answer to my question is 'no'? Well, I'm sure I will find a way to give things a score.


What is written is obviously more important, however am I going to pay as much attention to the 21st Rust In Peace reivew that gives it a 90%+ score or the first one that gives it 17%?
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Corpus_Chain
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:34 pm
Posts: 120
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:02 pm 
 

ThrashGordon wrote:
What is written is obviously more important, however am I going to pay as much attention to the 21st Rust In Peace reivew that gives it a 90%+ score or the first one that gives it 17%?


Funnily enough, I thought about that very point just after I went offline after my previous post. I guess the ratings are a good initial guide to the reviewer's overall impression.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:26 pm 
 

No, it's not possible. And we'll catch it and reject it if you just tack on an unrelated score (unrelated to what you've written).
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 10:38 pm 
 

For In Flames' Come Clarity:

Quote:
Come Clarity - 98%
Written by twister555 on February 6th, 2006

wery wery wery good but CLAYMAN FOREWER


It's wery wile.
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celldweller
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 12:22 am
Posts: 30
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 10:42 pm 
 

Quote:
sUB hUMAN Crap!! - 34%
Written by PowerMetalGuardian on August 28th, 2004


Personally I think it is easier to write a good review than write a bad review, which is why I usually write one for albums I like. But something like Subhuman Race should be reviewed and explained in high detail. I've been listening to this album for awhile and I think I can do it justice (or in this case not). I have come to the conclusion that this album has no good songs. So instead of reviewing the album by song, or strong points of songs, I will just review the music individually.

What might take the easiest to explain is the drums and bass guitar. Simple enough the bass guitar is hardly heard, and the drumming is not bad, but not the best. On some songs the drumming goes through some crazy drum tempos, switching back and forth. There are some nice beats and drum fills, like on the song Face Against My Soul. Other than that nothing special about these instruments on this album.

The guitars show exactly what Skid Row have become. Not glam rock anymore! For the most part the guitars have some decent riffing, but nothing godly. In fact if you took the singing out, the album might be good. Sometimes there are too many solos in a song. Like one song will be filled with ten solos! Its crazy and pretty stupid at the same time. The riffs and solos are not the glam rock type; its really hard to describe what they are. It's like mixing Alternative rock with the random 90's metal style. So in other words it's basically shit. No riffs and or solos stand out on their own, except for the main riffs in Subhuman Race and Ironwill.

What makes this album a complete piece of human feces is the singing. Now I have heard some pretty crappy singing in my time, but I think this might be the worse ever. Granted that filling Sebastian's shoes is not an easy thing to do, but this guy is a disgrace to Skid Row and Sebastian Bach. All of the singing is pretty poor, meaning all the songs. Sometimes he goes on these real low grunts, that are just stupid sounding. For the most part he sounds like an Alternative singer mixed with maybe John Bush like vocals. What pisses me off the most is the fact that he can't make up his mind what the fuck he wants to do with his voice. One second, yes second not minute, he is grunting and the next he is attempting to sing melodically. He even pulls some Phil Anselmo type screams. Another stupid thing he does is trying to be Sebastian. Like on the song Beat Yourself Blind he goes real high on some parts and even makes his voice tremolo a little bit (a common Sebastian singing tool). At the end of the high pitched wail is a decrescendo into a growl that sounds like he just stuck a jalapeno pepper up his asshole.

If there is good music hear, it is masked by the offal singing. Yes, Skid Row has evolved. But this is Darwin's worst nightmare! Plain and simple; this album sucks. Don't waste your time or money. And if you think the singing is good, you better get your head checked.
(unrelated to what you've written).


Apparently this person didn't realize Sebastian Bach sang on this disc. I can hardly take someone seriously when they don't have their facts straight. I don't really hear how he sounds any different, myself, but I guess that's opinion. Anyway, the facts here are just plain wrong.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 11:16 pm 
 

For future reference, this kind of thing goes in "Oven Fodder", not here.
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:58 pm 
 

For Sabaton's Primo Victoria.

Quote:
SABATON REVIEW - 100%
Written by CHIPLAXIO on February 24th, 2006

THIS IS REALLY GOOD STUFF , PRIMO VICTORIA IS A VERY COMPLETE WORK, THE ARRAYS ARE REALLY GOOS , VOCALS ARE AWSOME.
FOR ME THE BEST OF 2005
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:02 pm 
 

Goos?
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Visionary
Veteran

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 2635
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 9:16 pm 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
Goos?


S is next to D on the keyboard.
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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DarkSoul175
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2003 9:22 pm
Posts: 604
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 3:43 pm 
 

heh, what kind of idiot gives such a title to his review.

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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:28 pm 
 

Review for Torture Killer's Swarm !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
swarm is great - 90%
Written by killagain on March 8th, 2006


love the cd,love anything that egotistical barnes does,in music that is.seems like a real prick offstage.dude you're in death metal not metallica,lighten the hell up

~---~

Just wow.
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It's silly to not like High on Fire.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:02 pm 
 

Quote:
Frightmare - Bringing Back the Bloodshed
By Ayreon_the_Blind

I have been looking foward to this album since I first heard it was being made. I had loved Midnight Murder Mania, and I

thought it would be a tough act to follow. The first album combined Grind and Thrash flawlessly. What I was sad about from

their first album, was the length. It seemed to short.

The album starts off with some cheesy low quality horror keyboards. It goes into a blazing Thrash number. The riffs are fast

and tight, and continue in that fashion the whole album. All the riffs here are fast, catchy, and crunchy. They seem out of a

Dark Angel album, with the technicality and speed combined with the catchyness. The production values of the riffs are really

note worthy, you can hear every note played and very clearly, with a good amount of distortion.

The bass in this album is fantastic too, you can hear it clearly and there is little distortion in it. The drumming is

technical and keeps a good beat at the same time. The double bass pedal is not over-used, which is nice to hear for once.

There are four vocalists on this album, and the band uses all of them to their full potential. There are deep grunts, gutter

vocals, high pitch yelps, and pig vocals. Sometimes all at once, which creates a very good sound. All the vocals were mixed

in really well, you can hear them, but they never get in the way wih the riffs.

What marvels me about this album is the fact that is switches from Thrash styled segments to Grindcore segments with ease.

There will be a Thrash riff then the total chaos of a Grind song, then back to Thrash without even flinching. This keeps the

album interesting. The solos are nice, and while not in every song, they are perfect when they are used.

The lyrics are all about old slasher films, and are very fun and catchy to sing along to. There are samples from various

movies that set the tone of the songs. Some of serious, some of the songs are goofy at times, some are creepy.

The length of this album is 50 minutes, which is a big improvement from their last album. Even though it is 50 minutes, it

never gets boring or bland, as all the songs have a different feel to them.

They took everything good about their last album, and the bands that influenced, and made it better. I don't think they will

be able to top this one, or anyone else for that matter. This is a nice gem that is perfect for any fans of Thrash or Grind.


Worst formatting ever?
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His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Lycanthropos
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:36 pm
Posts: 28
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 7:33 am 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
For Forbidden's Distortion:

Quote:
NO THRASH AND NO GOOD - 10%
Written by MADHOUSE on November 18th, 2005

I WENT TO BUY SOME CD'S ONEDAY AND I SAW FORBIDDEN.I HAD HEARD THAT THIS WAS A BAY AREA THRASH BAND SO I BOUGHT DISTORTION ALTHOUGH IKNEW SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT. THE COVER WAS TOO STUPID FOR ATHRASH ALBUM BUT IT HAD ONLY 3EYRO SO IT DID NOT MATTER MUCH TO ME IF IT WAS SHIT MUSIC.I PUT THE CD ON MY CD PLAYER AND I HEARD SOME SHIT.IF SOMEONE WANT TO LISTEN TO NU-METAL THIS IS IT BUT IF NOT GO AWAY.


We can't make this shit up, folks.


THE COVER WAS TOO STUPID FOR ATHRASH ALBUM BUT IT HAD ONLY 3EYRO SO IT DID NOT MATTER MUCH TO ME IF IT WAS SHIT MUSIC.

what the hell? it had only 3eryo. WAT WAHTS GOIGNION???

awesome thread.

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sAlex
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:14 am
Posts: 632
Location: Slovenia
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:24 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=90

What... was... that?? - 36%
Written by UltraBoris on April 20th, 2003

Well, I listened to the whole thing in entirety... (which is saying something, since some albums don't even make it that far) and I can't remember anything outstanding from the whole thing! There's a few parts that made me think "hey this sucks more than average" and some parts that are "well, this is better than average" but unfortunately none of this really shone through to the end.

The worst... probably the whispering vocals. I'm sorry, but whispering is not metal. See the intro. Then it crops up in some other parts too. Also, the "oh dear I've really got a stomachache" vocals which are not whispered but are just as bad. They just kinda drop all the guitars and bring in... that. Otherwise, I really can't differentiate between the actual songs - it seems like one long passage that never really goes anywhere. Sure there's the occasional cool riff, but I couldn't tell you where it is. For the most part it's a lot of random guitar and keyboard parts, the occasional annoying drumwork (though not as prevalent as some other albums, like the new Cradle of Filth for example)... and then a lot of general snoozework that just doesn't go anywhere or do anything.

The vocals are not nearly as geigh on average as in those few segments, but they really don't do much either. The lyrics are incomprehensible and there's a lot of dragged-out shrieking that would make Dani Filth proud. It's not an abysmally bad album, when all is said and done, but there really isn't any section that remains overwhelmingly cool for more than about 30 seconds. Just a lot of mishmash, a lot of random crap thrown in, just because. (See also: Dimmu Borgir.) I think if they took all the cool riffs and put them together, there would one good five-minute song... but they managed to distribute it over about 52 minutes or whatever, and managed to do this distribution so evenly, that one would be hard-pressed to dig up all the good stuff and splice it together again. Otherwise, it's just pseudo-random guitar and keyboard parts that really don't make any sense.

Well, there's something I never have to listen to again.



Okay, I know I won't get far with this, but some things just piss me off big time. This review is not all that bad, but look, how can you actually write a review for an album that you only listened once, black metal is not (nearly) your fav genre but to write a review you have to listen the album at least once, so you can put out your (cool negative) comment to the internet. How can possibly a whole album be memorable if you listen it only ONCE!!?? I know everyone has it's own opinion about individual bands, but this is just funny, why would someone ''torture'' himself with listening to an album that retorically will get a ''bashing'' review in the end!! I just can't see anything useful about a review that was written by someone who, ''in mutiny'', barely listened to the album, I just can't...
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Lycanthropos
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:36 pm
Posts: 28
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 7:03 pm 
 

You posted that in the wrong thread. This is for ones the team sees but we don't. Go to Oven Fodder.

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sAlex
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:14 am
Posts: 632
Location: Slovenia
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 11:29 am 
 

Lycanthropos wrote:
You posted that in the wrong thread. This is for ones the team sees but we don't. Go to Oven Fodder.


Meh...I forgot the whole review posting system here...screw it, it's not worth...
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 5:10 pm 
 

Aye. It wouldn't be deleted anyway.
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 12:52 pm 
 

Quote:
Worst album ever - 1%
Written by Sabboth on March 19th, 2006

I still can't believe that this is Finntroll. Hell. First time I ever heard finntroll i thought "This is some serious shit" but when i bought this album I got really disapointed. This is'nt even metal, this is some crappy finnish albums where all the songs sounds like it comes from a drunken sailorman with company who just wants to lick goatballs. Dont buy this shit, it stinks


*Slingblade voice* Mmm, I took away all his points, mmhmm. And den I laughed at him. Mmhmm.

What actually happened is I rejected his two single-line 100% atrocities for Reroute to Remain and Soundtrack to Your Escape, and upon reading this, decided to fine him 15 points per godawful review.
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hells_unicorn wrote:
His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 9637
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 8:15 pm 
 

Quote:
This is'nt even English, this is some crappy review, where all the words sounds like it comes from a drunken sailorman with company who just wants to lick goatballs.


Fixed.
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antonthereaper wrote:
Seriously, why ban me??????? That topic had nothing wrong with it! Theres something wrong with you i can tell you! You're immoral banning of my account! Anyways, i'm creating my own metal arcives.

http://extrememetalencyclopedia.webs.com/

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 6:19 pm 
 

For Escaravelho do Diabo's Profane Force Underground III-Ao Morto

Quote:
To insert layer cd - 100%
Written by Escaravelho666 on March 21st, 2006

To insert layer cd


Baffling.
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droneriot
RETIRED

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 5241
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:17 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
For Escaravelho do Diabo's Profane Force Underground III-Ao Morto

Quote:
To insert layer cd - 100%
Written by Escaravelho666 on March 21st, 2006

To insert layer cd


Baffling.

I don't get it.
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DarkSoul175
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2003 9:22 pm
Posts: 604
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:09 pm 
 

I don't get it either.

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Bash
Talking Meat

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:06 am
Posts: 1054
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:43 pm 
 

Surreal. Maybe that's what he was going for. In which case; how dare you reject this fantastic piece of art? Are you insane?

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HowDisgusting
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 6:39 pm
Posts: 1707
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:23 am 
 

I just stumbled upon this utterly incompetent review of Naglfar - Diabolical by 'Monstro City'

Quote:
I tried, I tried so hard to have even an iota of knowledge as to how this album could arouse any acclaim. Somehow it slipped through the critical grasp of many, and ended up getting decent feedback. Feedback that stole from me a precious twelve dollars that I will never get back. Twelve dollars that could have been wasted on something worthy or perhaps even euphoric! However, time and time again shitty Black Metal bands are reminding me that there are individuals out there who will actually pay money for feces. And not even the cool feces that you see at country/hick carnivals that look like celebrities.

Let’s piece together what the album “Diabolical” by Naglfar has put together for us:

1. Diabolical vocals that sound like a poser Danny Filth taking a shower in prison.

2. Diabolical guitar riffs that are so sloppy it sounds like the guitarist was being sucked off by Frankie Muniz during the recording sessions.

3. Diabolical Percussion that had the potential to be cool, but their producer was too much of a twat to render the Double-kick coherently audible.

4. Diabolical Bass that is not only never heard independently, but boarder line omnipresent as their Bassist must have been just standing there doing nothing, shaking his head.


That’s all, with the infinitesimal exception of their sampling element that may be well mastered, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Now, with all the Black Metal bashing I did within the last forty seconds that I did, let me continue by saying to all of those who have a Naglfar album; don’t feel too bad, they aren’t Black Metal at it’s worse. If you want to hear them at their worst, you listen to their first album. You read correctly, they are improving; but there isn’t too much that old feces has the ability to evolve into (besides the birth place of maggots). But at the very least, maggots have brains!

Naglfar possess one of those dime a dozen styles whereas they repeat the same riffs (badly produced) constantly. These riffs are slow, uninteresting, and coupled with a Double-kick element most of the time, however, they are screwed out of affect due to the production value. The sampled intros to their songs aren’t even Black Metal influenced, nor are they musical in any way. Inversely, when they do attempt to be melodic, they aren’t even original. There is a short intermission within Diabolical that is just a piano solo entitled “A departure in Solitude” that is a rip-off of a rondo written more than a hundred years ago. I don’t even need to tell you what the rondo is called because there is a 98.9% chance that you will identify it immediately!

Furthermore, one could argue that what they lack in talent, they make up for in being grim and fucking frostbitten, but how could that be when none of them even wear Corpse Paint. They just stand around looking as though they had just been punked and didn’t quite get what was happening yet. But mostly I try not to look at image, especially when their Drummer looks like Christian Bale as a heroine addict. One other particular fact that bothers me about this band, unlike “troo” Black Metal bands, they actually think that they have promising and a bright future. Troo Black metal bands aren’t taken seriously, and if Naglfar hasn’t figured that out; they are only going to suck worse in the future


Summary: Not Grim, Not Frostbitten = Not Talented. A diabolically bad CD!


Obviously the inane, nonsensical ramblings of the hydrocephalic lovechild of weak-willed first cousins.

Besides the fact that there is virtually no attempt made to actually describe the music [other than the incongruous harping about some phantom poor musicianship], the last paragraph, which is spent railing against the band's physical appearance, is the most substantive one in the whole review.

See, anyone can simply throw a bunch of big words into a review in an attempt to make it seem intelligent. The difficulty is in getting it to make sense.
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