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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:14 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2833
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:10 pm 
 

I posted this in the wrong thread because I'm stupid as shit. Here's a legend:
Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Obligatory Last FM Link

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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:51 pm 
 

"Blasphemy and Slayer is where I learn englished" :lol: holy crap that's fantastic!
Also, the whole review looked like an acrostic poem, referring to some weird new subgenre tag of black metal, GCBM. What is that, "guttural carnal black metal"?
_________________
rejected review wrote:
Have you ever had Kimchi Waffle?
Kimchi Waffle was made by World Institute of Kimchi in South Korea.
It’s so powerful that your stomachs will damn.
Bulgogi Kimchi Bibimbap waffle burger! Holy shit! litterally shit!

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 11193
Location: Ob der Enns, Austria
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 9:08 pm 
 

That last one simply cannot be serious, Diamhea. It's too perfect. I refuse to accept that this wasn't written with the intent of having it posted here by a mod.
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The band research thread needs your help! Full research list || Stuff for sale on Discogs

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14205
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:03 pm 
 

Those last two are exquisite. :lol:
_________________
ZarathustraHead wrote:
That person is me. ZarathustraHead.

ZarathustraHead wrote:
You can find me listening to the good, real shit. The real good shit. I'll be here.

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7721
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:08 am 
 

That last one...it's hard to describe, but there's something horror to it...
_________________
I've written a fantasy novel. It's 145,000 157,586 184,899 words long!
It's also going to be the first part of a trilogy!
Currently seeking an agent willing to touch this massive doorstop.

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bug_man
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 12:11 am
Posts: 377
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:29 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image

these kind of reviews own and they're a lot cooler than some of the ones that actually get accepted. i know exactly what that band probably sounds like from reading that.

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 1:56 pm 
 

Slovakian Engrish attack! These are the best moments:

"This band belongs to great bands in Europe. Is a true, that this band doesnt know every."

doesn't know every WHAT? TELL ME I WANT TO KNOW!

"In this years were available only cassette with radiocassette player. I am very sand in time, because I wanted original copy of this album. I am was like student with little cash, I couldnt buy original album."

Spoiler: show
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caspian about CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
?????????

Metantoine's Magickal Realm

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 11:12 pm 
 

Buy albums with enjoyed pleasure

Very rare, it is chance for you maximal satisfaction

Come!
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"A glimpse of light is all that it takes to illuminate the darkness."

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:24 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:29 pm 
 

How the fuck do you consciously format like this?

Spoiler: show
Image


The "conclusion" since I couldn't fit it all in a screenshot:
Spoiler: show
Quote:
In conclusion,i want to add that for a long time,no album impressed me so much like this.What makes from the whole
album literally enjoyment for listening,is vocal,such like that is not everywhere,urgent and higly emotional voice.
Good move was to invite a varied selection of hosting singers,because they perfectly fit to whole concept and
elevate album even on higher places.Riffs are forming nicely melodic lines,which are layered,in the background the piano
melodies are accompaniing them,which are complementing the atmosphere and mostly you can perceive them after few
listenings.I have translated texts,they are sad,but beautiful and sincere.I wish taht musicians will keep their
quality,because it will not be easy to record equivalent follower of Aokigahara.I would give the album 11/10,because
nothing has not affected and impressed me so much like this album.With this review i would thank so much M.S. for
composition of great,perfect music and Jimbo Jones for beautiful singing and for his other projects,which bring joy
to every gray days,for example i have to mention Karg,which is also the jewel among black metal bands and projects :)
So next time with another masterpiece of Harakiri for the Sky.
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:40 pm 
 

"... this jewel of music, which honestly made me sit on my ass."

I hit play, and was overcome with the urge to be physically inactive! Great music!
_________________
rejected review wrote:
Have you ever had Kimchi Waffle?
Kimchi Waffle was made by World Institute of Kimchi in South Korea.
It’s so powerful that your stomachs will damn.
Bulgogi Kimchi Bibimbap waffle burger! Holy shit! litterally shit!

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7721
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:39 am 
 

severzhavnost wrote:
"... this jewel of music, which honestly made me sit on my ass."

I hit play, and was overcome with the urge to be physically inactive! Great music!

I was going to awkwardly pace around my room in a straight line, but this...man, I gotta sit down for this!
_________________
I've written a fantasy novel. It's 145,000 157,586 184,899 words long!
It's also going to be the first part of a trilogy!
Currently seeking an agent willing to touch this massive doorstop.

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 1:13 am 
 

"The music is typical for Slayer, the same brand that they've cranked out their entire career."

-The worst "Reign in Blood" review ever.

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Rykov
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:52 pm
Posts: 454
PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:44 am 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
"The music is typical for Slayer, the same brand that they've cranked out their entire career."

-The worst "Reign in Blood" review ever.

... in what universe does this Slayer exist? Can we exchange them for the post-Seasons Slayer we on planet Earth have had to suffer through for the better part of twenty five years?
_________________
Acrobat wrote:
I MAKE A SPIT IN THE FACE OF ANTHRAX!

mastamonkeynutz wrote:
Also if you want to make a joke please do so but please put lol after so I can know that Fred Durst isn't really dead.

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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 1:38 pm 
 

Zelkiiro wrote:
severzhavnost wrote:
"... this jewel of music, which honestly made me sit on my ass."

I hit play, and was overcome with the urge to be physically inactive! Great music!

I was going to awkwardly pace around my room in a straight line, but this...man, I gotta sit down for this!


There's no good pacing-around music any more ;)
_________________
rejected review wrote:
Have you ever had Kimchi Waffle?
Kimchi Waffle was made by World Institute of Kimchi in South Korea.
It’s so powerful that your stomachs will damn.
Bulgogi Kimchi Bibimbap waffle burger! Holy shit! litterally shit!

Top
 Profile  
Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:00 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Panflute
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:11 am
Posts: 467
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 3:19 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image


...What?
_________________
Black Ivory Tower - in-depth reviews

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JohnTheDrummer
Metalhead

Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 2:25 pm
Posts: 590
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 5:12 pm 
 

What isnt there to get? He gave up to write any reviews on the rchives because he/she has tried now since days! DUH!!!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:48 am 
 

Spoiler: show
Image


Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5859
Location: 717
PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:48 pm 
 

Riffs and lyrics both killing!
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Stygian Narcosis - My concert photography Facebook page - Instagram too

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 7:41 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image


Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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PDS
The Folk One

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:04 pm
Posts: 1783
PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 7:56 pm 
 

The translation for the lords of summer review is apparently Indonesian for "Old Shit". Couldn't agree more.
_________________
Acrobat wrote:
I dunno, I'm a guitarist and it always feels like playing a giant cock. Not just that but live music should hit you in the genitals. It might not if you don't use good amplifiers and your modelling shit goes straight out of the PA. But good music hits you HARD in the GENITALS.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 9:19 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Veteran

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 2849
PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 9:23 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image



"anti-cosmic" lyrics? Are the lyrics hating on space?

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5859
Location: 717
PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 11:05 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image

Quote:
This rating is based on the context that this is a Metal website.


:nono: :snipe:
Guess he's gotta give bad scores to Mortiis too now.

Also...

Quote:
Metal website.


:nono: :snipe:
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Stygian Narcosis - My concert photography Facebook page - Instagram too

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2015 1:08 am 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Tod_Im_Juni
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:00 am
Posts: 158
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2015 5:14 am 
 

Spoiler: show
Image


The musical equivalent of viagra.

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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 6400
PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2015 8:07 am 
 

DoomMetalAlchemist wrote:
"anti-cosmic" lyrics? Are the lyrics hating on space?

It's Dissection related bullcrap, as in "Anti-cosmic Metal of Death". ;)

That Tomhet "review" really made me laugh, solid gold that one.

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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 5570
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2015 9:54 am 
 

all i can hear in my head is turbonegro's song regarding erections when reading that.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2015 4:38 pm 
 

For the few that staunchly try and defend the "track by track" writing style, here is why we don't allow it (just copied the text since it was too long to get a decent screenshot):

Spoiler: show
777bobzilla777 wrote:
Exit Edu Falaschi... Enter Fabio Lione from Rhapsody of Fire.


I really loved Edu's voice, but Fabio's here is fantastic. I wasn't expecting too much (because who could top Mr. Falaschi's awesome vox?), but this album captivated me quite a lot. I am giving a track-by-track review of this album, because I find that the tracks are great by themselves and together as an album.


This album is a lot more progressive than I remember Angra being. (Rebirth was straight power metal IMHO.)

1. Newborn Me (10/10)


Newborn Me was the single. This song grabbed me after the 3rd or 4th listen, and it's never ceased to be awesome after that. It's quite different from the Angra that I remembered with 'Rebirth' (which was straight power metal...)


From Angra, I would expect an explosive opener, but this song is fine as an opener.


The soft parts are beautiful, and the rest of the song is brilliant.


2. Black Hearted Soul (10/10)


This song is more like the Angra I know. Power metal with progressive elements. I like it. ALOT. The speed gets me going. And it has an awesome chorus to boot. Hooray for Angra!


The solo in the middle section of the song is very good. The guitars riffing behind it makes it great.


This song is the type of song that would open a power metal album. Fantastic song.


3. Final Light (8/10)


This track starts out quite groovy. It seems to sound like Dream Theater this time around. A good thing in my eyes. This track is pretty heavy. Good chorus.


4. Storm of Emotions (10/10)


A near-flawless half-ballad. The clean guitar in the beginning is wonderful. The ballad turns into an awesome, heavy chorus. After some guitar, it calms down again, this time with a soft guitar solo. Then the third chorus comes, in a higher key, and once again heavy. GLORIOUS. The choir vocals at the end are BEAUTIFUL.


5. Violet Sky (9/10)


The beginning of this song is pretty chunky. (It ends up being the chorus tune.) I love Mr. Lione's vocals on this track. Rich and deep. Not a perfect song, but very good indeed. Again, the choir vocals at the end are awesome.


6. Secret Garden (10/10)


The eponymous track. Epica's female vocalist stars on this track. Simone Simons has a very beautiful voice. This track is very symphonic. This track is also a half-ballad. I really love the chorus to this track.


7. Upper Levels (10/10) [Best Track on This Album]


GENIUS. The bass in the beginning of the song makes me drool. I also love the Brazilian percussion. When the metal kicks in, it's like a dreamscape. The riffs are awesome. The grooves in this track are almost dance-able. I love the drumming on this track.


The middle of the song is so sublime. Soft and chill... That's why this track is the best out of the whole album. Great solo as well. I love 7/8 time signature during that section. 4:36 in the song is the beginning of the best part to me.


8. Crushing Room (9/10)


The song with the female metal singer Doro. Heavy off the bat. Her voice is more ballsy than Ms. Simons'. Great chorus. It also has some singing from Mr. Lione as I can hear.


9. Perfect Symmetry (10/10)


This track reminds me a lot of Black Hearted Soul... More glorious power metal. This is a fantastic upbeat track. Not the best, but a great chorus. A high rating because of speed and rhythm.


10. Silent Call (10/10) [I was doubting, but this track is so beautiful.] [Also, this track ties for my favorite track of the album...]


The beginning reminds me, of all things, of John Paul Young's 'Love is in the Air...' The obligatory ballad. This song is all acoustic. I originally stopped listening, because I usually hate ballads. WRONG. This song is beautiful. Fabio is a fantastic singer.


10 + 10 + 8 + 10 + 9 + 10 + 10 + 9 + 10 + 10 = 96/1 = 96%


Open your eyes now, don't be afraid.


Don't be afraid about this album.
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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henkkjelle
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:54 pm
Posts: 4537
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 1:26 pm 
 

Open your eyes now, don't be afraid.


Don't be afraid about this album.


Someone report this review to the CPS.
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... just the bare bones of a name, all rock and ice and storm and abyss. It makes no attempt to sound human. It is atoms and stars.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:18 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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JohnTheDrummer
Metalhead

Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 2:25 pm
Posts: 590
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2015 4:51 pm 
 

HELL YEAH!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2015 8:48 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:01 am 
 

Image


Last edited by Derigin on Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
Please remember to black out IP addresses.

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MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3624
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:29 am 
 

:lol: Holy shit.
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Korpgud wrote:
Imagine Texas Chainsaw Massacre but without any suspense, only constant chainsawing.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:38 am 
 

Engrish is always one's best friend.
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5859
Location: 717
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 1:17 pm 
 

One day, I was Wilytank. But after seeing this band, I became Truncated Veins.
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Stygian Narcosis - My concert photography Facebook page - Instagram too

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 1:52 am 
 

Image
_________________
caspian about CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
?????????

Metantoine's Magickal Realm

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