Very descriptive. No pointless stories at all.

Seriously, these fuckers aren't Gutterscream. His story worked, this doesn't.

Sometimes this thread isn't so much funny as depressing. Some of this shit gives me headaches and I can't even.

Congratulations to Diamhea and Zodi on their BoS feedback boycott. Impressive that the sheer clamor and level of unimaginative terrible would make dedicated people give a categorical fuck you.

To depress you even more, apparently half of initial submissions never make it through

Why do people even bother? Even my first attempt at a review (for WtC's debut), though rejected, was still a bit better than that.

Using commas instead of periods...

I did not espect that...

Alouth... altough... If he continued that review, he might have eventually spelled "although" correctly.

But... there was nothing to say...

Well I mean I would have accepted it. It's proven fact that anything that quotes The Big Lebowski is great by default.

Eh, shit-slinging with copious usage of 'fuck'. Throw in some description of the music and production, italics, and maybe one or two more adjectives and you essentially have all of my negative reviews

I love that he completely attacks every possible unit of the album, and still awards it 10%.

Also it makes me want to check it out now, haha.

EDIT: Okay, he's not totally off the mark. It's actually pretty bad. Drums save it, vocals ruin it.

I get an AVGN vibe from this guy...

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

I wonder how he/she landed on 83 as a score. Not 80 or 85, but exactly 83

And I thought nu-metal, blackened shoegaze and deathcore got all the hate....

Intensif... battery is very speed... rythm... trash metal...

Kill yourself.

Crappy Diem Presents: How to Boost Your Character Count the Wrong Way 101

I'm just imagining this exchange:

"That cool slow part. You know that slow part that's cool? You know the one I mean."

The user responsible for the quote in my sig has returned!

What album was he referring to when he wrote those "sentences?"

Fucking fucking hair was in place.

Fuck yeah it was.

Better to be a drum than a table, I guess

'I feel like I am taking medication'.

We can kind of tell already mate, but thanks for clarifying that anyway. That must be some pretty strong shit, I want some!

I can't stop laughing at that one, don't know why

Looks like yet another of those shitty "let's just run the through a translator" ones. Either that or he just doesn't understand the English language whatsoever lol.

I'll put a frame on it. Too good to be forgotten.