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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 12:45 pm 
 
The first two oddly indented lines read "black metal" and "must listen". It's one of them subliminal messages.
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rejected review wrote:
Have you ever had Kimchi Waffle?
Kimchi Waffle was made by World Institute of Kimchi in South Korea.
It’s so powerful that your stomachs will damn.
Bulgogi Kimchi Bibimbap waffle burger! Holy shit! litterally shit!
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7732
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 12:57 pm 
 
severzhavnost wrote:
The first two oddly indented lines read "black metal" and "must listen". It's one of them subliminal messages.

Must...fist...Lincoln...
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I've written a fantasy novel. It's 145,000 157,586 184,899 words long!
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Cry_In_The_Night
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue May 07, 2013 12:38 pm
Posts: 142
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 4:32 pm 
 
That could very well happen if you wrote a review in something like emacs, and then just copy pasted it and skipped pressing the preview button before submitting.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 2:46 pm 
 
Spoiler: show
Image
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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JohnTheDrummer
Metalhead

Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 2:25 pm
Posts: 590
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 3:53 pm 
 
cool
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35277
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 4:07 pm 
 
The album title is more descriptive than the review.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5871
Location: 717
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:35 pm 
 
Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image

good god...
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 8:04 pm 
 
Too many words, Wily.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 7732
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Sat Mar 07, 2015 12:52 am 
 
I think Fujin from Final Fantasy 8 is the mystery reviewer. Raijin asks her, "Hey Fujin, whatcha think of that As Autumn Calls album?" to which she replies, "GOOD." And then Raijin says, "I've really been getting into Melechesh lately, y'know?" and then Fujin's all like, "OVERRATED."
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I've written a fantasy novel. It's 145,000 157,586 184,899 words long!
It's also going to be the first part of a trilogy!
Currently seeking an agent willing to touch this massive doorstop.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5871
Location: 717
PostPosted: Sat Mar 07, 2015 1:11 am 
 
Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Too many words, Wily.

It was for the greater good.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Sat Mar 07, 2015 2:28 am 
 
I appreciate the effort.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 2:10 pm 
 
Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 5:29 pm 
 
RAZON KALU wrote:
I FOUND THIS IS ONE OF UNDERRATED ALBUM


That may be true. Sadly, it's still an under-reviewed album too!
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rejected review wrote:
Have you ever had Kimchi Waffle?
Kimchi Waffle was made by World Institute of Kimchi in South Korea.
It’s so powerful that your stomachs will damn.
Bulgogi Kimchi Bibimbap waffle burger! Holy shit! litterally shit!
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10865
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:10 am 
 
Spoiler: show
Image
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Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: In Flames - Foregone
The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 2058
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:12 am 
 
BastardHead wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image


Fuck...at 16 he should be great at grammar amd spelling. He should be doing it everyday!! What are they teaching these kids these days?? :old:
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Diamhea wrote:
TrooperEd wrote:
Edit: fuck it this whole thing is bait anyway.


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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10865
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:17 am 
 
its okay hes just learning from the best thats right its chris simpsons artist hes a real role model in several respects he taught me that rules were made to be broken even if theyre grammar
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Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: In Flames - Foregone
The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 2058
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:20 am 
 
BastardHead wrote:
its okay hes just learning from the best thats right its chris simpsons artist hes a real role model in several respects he taught me that rules were made to be broken even if theyre grammar


:lol:
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Diamhea wrote:
TrooperEd wrote:
Edit: fuck it this whole thing is bait anyway.


Like your reviews?
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:46 pm 
 
Too big for a screenshot. This is for the new Marduk:

Spoiler: show
''Iron Dawn'' E.P. was just a 'simple reminder'...

...What a furious comeback since 2012's ''Serpent Sermon'' album!
...What a war-bound comeback since 1999's classic and mighty ''Panzer Division Marduk'' album!
This is where Marduk truly belongs!!!...into the Black Metal battlefield!!!!
A masterpiece!
A jewelry!

...From the very beginning of drum-marching intro of the title track, 'Frontschwein', you ,already, knew that the only way to enjoy this album is to surrender...! ...And you know that your 'defeat' gonna lead you straight to the Marduk Panzer's wheels!!!!!!!!!!!

''Frontschwein'' it's a pure and raw blastbeat war-chant following up by the 'slow-burner' song called ''The Blond Beast'' which, in my opinion, is one of Marduk's greatest mid-tempo songs, ever! slow pain, slow death, endless pleasure! simply, but great though, drumming from the new drumbeast named Fredrik Widigs!

''Afrika'' : counter attack!
Great riffs, mighty lyrics! Another perfect combination of speed and wartheme! Mortuus is doing a very Good, Hellish and Grimy work, since 2004, and...
YES! He's getting better and better year by year - both studio and live performances!

Slowing down, once again, with another great midtempo track, ''Wartheland''.
Once again Morgan shows the world that Marduk can easily 'play ball' on both fileds! hyperspeed and midtempo are the claws of Panzer Division War Machine!
This is a song that revealed about a month earlier along with the furious ''Rope Of Regret''!
An anthem to all those who like pure and raw Black Metal, made in 2015! Fredrik is a Beast - I told you!

''Between The Wolf-Packs'', a supreme track like Marduk and only Marduk can made!
powerful and mighty! thats all you need to know!
Being part of the greatest Black Metal in universe, you really can offer to your fans - and to the whole world as well - both highest pleasures...
slow dance! macabre purity! deadly decay! totally groundshaking :
''Nebelwerfer''!

''Falaise : Cauldron Of Blood'' - a masterpiece dressed in blood and death!
Thrilling intro! mighty breakthrough! with Mortuus performing on the highest level , specially at 2:24 - 3: 11!
blast and fire! One of my favourite from the album with the stormy, fast and furious, incredible mighty ''Doomsday Elite''!
A 8-minutes opus! This band still have a bassplayer since 2004!
Devo's playing his blackmetal ass through this song - as well as on the album!
Rolling and marching through battlefield, Panzer is coming near to your town!
crashin and marching in 'low power',taking no prisoners...
...make room for ''503''!

Demoniac dignity!
Slaughterous symphony!
Murderous harmony!
Misanthropy!
Destruction!
Disease!
Hatred!
Vanity!
Blood!
Fire!
Death!
''Thousand-Fold Death''!
One of the greatest hyperspeed Marduk's songs since 'Darkness It Shall Be''!


''Warschau III : Necropolis'' works fine as an outro of this 'warbaound-frontschwein' album!

Marduk 2015 : The band, still, sounds BLACK, FEARSOME, GRIM AND MIGHTY!
Frontschwein 2015: THIS! IS! BLACK METAL!
Isnt 'a must have' for black metal fans, it's a...
TOTALITARIAN COMMAND!

''Black, fearsome and grim and mighty
Panzer division Marduk still rolls over enemy land...''
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 4:21 pm 
 
Easily Impressed Reviewer wrote:
"This band still have a bassplayer since 2004!"
_________________
rejected review wrote:
Have you ever had Kimchi Waffle?
Kimchi Waffle was made by World Institute of Kimchi in South Korea.
It’s so powerful that your stomachs will damn.
Bulgogi Kimchi Bibimbap waffle burger! Holy shit! litterally shit!
Top
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5957
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:05 pm 
 
I like "A jewelry!" myself
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Naamath wrote:
No comments, no words need it, no BM, no compromise, only grains in her face.
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MDL
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:12 pm
Posts: 949
Location: Unknown
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 1:04 pm 
 
"... mighty breakthrough! with Mortuus performing on the highest level , specially at 2:24 - 3: 11!..."
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 2:38 pm 
 
"Isnt 'a must have' for black metal fans, it's a...
TOTALITARIAN COMMAND!"

Buy this shit or the state will FUCKING DISAPPEAR YOU!!
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2015 7:26 pm 
 
Lazy translator garbage:

Spoiler: show
Image


Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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MDL
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:12 pm
Posts: 949
Location: Unknown
PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2015 8:32 pm 
 
lol, another spanish/portuguese/brazilian/wtv humanoid that writes "battery" instead of "drums", trusting the Translator.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:54 pm 
 
Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 3:42 pm 
 
Leaving aside the warped Anglo-Slavonic, he seems to really love the album yet gives it 30%. :scratch:
_________________
rejected review wrote:
Have you ever had Kimchi Waffle?
Kimchi Waffle was made by World Institute of Kimchi in South Korea.
It’s so powerful that your stomachs will damn.
Bulgogi Kimchi Bibimbap waffle burger! Holy shit! litterally shit!
Top
 Profile  
MDL
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:12 pm
Posts: 949
Location: Unknown
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 3:50 pm 
 
severzhavnost wrote:
Leaving aside the warped Anglo-Slavonic, he seems to really love the album yet gives it 30%. :scratch:


Oxymorons.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5999
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 4:41 pm 
 
It's his own band, too.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:47 pm 
 
One of the funniest reviews I ever read!

Some highlights:
Quote:
Death Metal is on the decline thanks to mallcore, and this is evidenced by Christian bands such as The Devil Wears Prada and Ad I Lay Dying. It's up to you and me(I have professional training in jazz singing myself) to bring real music back.

Quote:
Sure,the chorus to "sacrificial" may sound a bit emo, but when you read the rest of the lyrics, you'll understand that this is death metal at its finest

Quote:
Scream Bloody Gore is to this day the most offensive, extreme, and pejorative death metal album that religious groups have ever been forced to endure.

Image
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10169
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 2:02 am 
 
Professional jazz training is most death metal.
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Earthcubed wrote:
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Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5871
Location: 717
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:13 am 
 
Metantoine wrote:
Quote:
Sure,the chorus to "sacrificial" may sound a bit emo, but when you read the rest of the lyrics, you'll understand that this is death metal at its finest



the chorus to that song wrote:
Sacrificial cunt
I despise
Sacrificial cunt
No more lies


:???:
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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 747
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:45 am 
 
I found the line about how she's going to force her favorite actress to listen to Death to be pretty creepy. That and a few other sentences make her seem a bit delusional. That review was a little sad.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:53 am 
 
Spoiler: show
Image
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1842
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:18 pm 
 
Did you get reported to the better business bureau? If it makes you feel any better, I like your reviews.
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POZERKILLER wrote:
damn I think ive already heard everything
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 4:32 pm 
 
Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 4:34 pm 
 
Morgan LeFay got their butt caught in a garbage disposal.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5871
Location: 717
PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 5:49 pm 
 
Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image

Still wondering what's emo about sacrificing vaginas to Satan.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 4:16 pm 
 
Just a followup to that, I sent him an email letting him know that he was banned, basically cutting the mic on him early, but he wasn't having it:

Spoiler: show
Actually, I know plenty about old school death metal, and why would you be
on a site when you don't even listen to metal, dumbfuck? I don't care about
getting banned, I wasn't going to use that site anyway anymore since I
don't want to write a review that's ten fucking pages long like you hoped.
You're not kicking anyone's ass here, loser. The only one who has "nothing"
is your sorry old ass. An lonely old man with saggy tits and a beer belly
wants to take on a Havoc Boy with ripped abs and a busty fiancée sucking
his dick every night? Come up to me at a show and I swear I will not
hesitate to put a bullet in your head during the middle of the fucking
show, faggot. No, what bothers me is that it's annoying you seem to think
you've put me in my place. I'm just accepting your offer to fight me,
life-lover. Death metal is for people who can kill, not tame motherfuckers
like you.


He thinks I am old, fat, out of shape, and afraid of DEATH METAL fans, I guess he doesn't realize that metalheads are purveyors of the most empty threats of all time.
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm
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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 747
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:08 pm 
 
Diamhea wrote:
Just a followup to that, I sent him an email letting him know that he was banned, basically cutting the mic on him early, but he wasn't having it:

Spoiler: show
Actually, I know plenty about old school death metal, and why would you be
on a site when you don't even listen to metal, dumbfuck? I don't care about
getting banned, I wasn't going to use that site anyway anymore since I
don't want to write a review that's ten fucking pages long like you hoped.
You're not kicking anyone's ass here, loser. The only one who has "nothing"
is your sorry old ass. An lonely old man with saggy tits and a beer belly
wants to take on a Havoc Boy with ripped abs and a busty fiancée sucking
his dick every night? Come up to me at a show and I swear I will not
hesitate to put a bullet in your head during the middle of the fucking
show, faggot. No, what bothers me is that it's annoying you seem to think
you've put me in my place. I'm just accepting your offer to fight me,
life-lover. Death metal is for people who can kill, not tame motherfuckers
like you.


He thinks I am old, fat, out of shape, and afraid of DEATH METAL fans, I guess he doesn't realize that metalheads are purveyors of the most empty threats of all time.


Weird, I originally thought it was a girl. Either way they seem to be very delusional. It's funny how he says he won't be using this site anymore yet he just wrote a new review for SBG under a different username. He even creepily mentions AJ Cook again. I can't imagine there's more than one person on this site that's obsessed with AJ Cook.

http://www.metal-archives.com/users/Seq ... rt%20Eagle
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35277
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:11 pm 
 
It cracks me up when people like this guy hurl insults and get really huffing-and-puffing, steaming at the forehead mad at someone who they perceive as a fat loser who hasn't gotten anywhere in life. It's like really, their opinion must matter a lot to you then!
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