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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8591
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 11:15 pm 
 

Image
Horrible review! Cumdumpster!
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Metantoine's Magickal Realm: Interviews with Jussi Lehtisalo (Circle and many others) and Sami Hynninen (ex-Reverend Bizarre)
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Halberd (doom/death)

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 3990
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:19 am 
 

A thoroughly insightful and analytical interpretation, I would say.
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Anime Reviews every two weeks!
Artwork once or twice a year!
M-A reviews every leap year!
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mad_submarine
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2011 5:33 pm
Posts: 15
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 6:25 am 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
Image

:tinfoil:


I bet the guy is a huge fan of Papa Roach and thinks Avril Lavigne is punk rock.
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http://sixthfromthesun.blogspot.com/

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 10:35 am 
 

Image

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DreamOfDarkness
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:09 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 10:46 am 
 

The review itself isn't even that bad, but the band/music... I didn't know such ridiculously crappy nazi music existed (including the terrible puns).

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8591
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 1:40 am 
 

Image
Bagpipes, guys.
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Metantoine's Magickal Realm: Interviews with Jussi Lehtisalo (Circle and many others) and Sami Hynninen (ex-Reverend Bizarre)
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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 236
PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 3:03 am 
 

Well, I'm not going to accuse him of dishonesty. There are most certainly bagpipes on that album.

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 1:26 pm 
 

Image

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XcKyle93
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:04 pm
Posts: 263
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:38 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
Image

Dude, Ride the Lighting by Metalicker is a superb album.
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narsilianshard wrote:
Chaosmonger wrote:
The Red in the Sky is Ours and select songs off With Fear... is the compositional height of death metal, if not all of metal. Better than ten Super Bowls.


Ah yes, the death metal phenomenon that is the Super Bowl.

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 4:46 pm 
 

"The Indonesian death metal scene has always been regarded as the best scene, after the Japanese and Russian death metal scene (at least, according to my observation in an Indonesian metal website)"

Spoken like a true 13 year old Indonesian.

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5198
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:33 pm 
 

Image
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Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: Hoth - Oathbreaker

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2175
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:50 pm 
 

This just in: if you do something that isn't common in a genre, no matter how well it's executed, it's a weak point of the album.

And, lol, "we can have a great Atmosphere." :lol: It reads like someone mixed motivational quotes with a black metal review.
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Glass Shrine | melodic raw black metal, first demo coming soonish
TrogDawn wrote:
Azmodes wrote:
What's with the orange, dude?

Personal trademark. I've been posting in orange since I started frequenting forums in 2002. You'll always remember me because I'm the guy who posts in orange

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Brutality_Junkie
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:04 am
Posts: 102
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:57 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
"The Indonesian death metal scene has always been regarded as the best scene."


:nono:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 1882
Location: Forgotten In Space
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2013 8:20 pm 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
It reads like someone mixed motivational quotes with a black metal review.


YES WE CAN have a great atmosphere. YES WE CAN preform heartwarming blastbeats. YES WE CAN summon Satan in his infinite wisdom... :P

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2013 3:18 am 
 

Spoiler: show
Image

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Maniac Matis
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:49 am
Posts: 400
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2013 3:22 am 
 

:lol:
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BastardHead wrote:
I want to print out this thread and wipe my ass with it.

Under_Starmere wrote:
Unng. I'm ThRoBing

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Filosofuck
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Apr 28, 2013 6:19 am
Posts: 75
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:12 am 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
Image

That's much better than this drivel.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... Zodijackyl

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2175
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:39 am 
 

Filosofuck wrote:
That's much better than this drivel.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... Zodijackyl

I'd make a drinking game where I go through your post history and take a shot every time one of your posts contributes damn near zilch to the discussion at hand, but I'm afraid it'd knock me dead halfway through.
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Glass Shrine | melodic raw black metal, first demo coming soonish
TrogDawn wrote:
Azmodes wrote:
What's with the orange, dude?

Personal trademark. I've been posting in orange since I started frequenting forums in 2002. You'll always remember me because I'm the guy who posts in orange

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8591
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:00 am 
 

He had something better to do...elsewhere.
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Metantoine's Magickal Realm: Interviews with Jussi Lehtisalo (Circle and many others) and Sami Hynninen (ex-Reverend Bizarre)
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18756
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 3:43 am 
 

Don't worry, if you call him out, you're the one who has no life. Even though he's the one posting retarded shit.
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Cinema Freaks latest reviews: Ghostbusters 2

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2542
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:39 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image
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Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Thrashpit
Last FM

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 2:45 pm 
 

Image

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2175
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 2:50 pm 
 

"Segeror's Voice [...] has this sort of it's on melody in the song"

...You mean like... singing? :o
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Glass Shrine | melodic raw black metal, first demo coming soonish
TrogDawn wrote:
Azmodes wrote:
What's with the orange, dude?

Personal trademark. I've been posting in orange since I started frequenting forums in 2002. You'll always remember me because I'm the guy who posts in orange

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:17 am 
 

Image

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4880
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:20 pm 
 

Probably the best review ever written.
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lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5198
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:46 pm 
 

I genuinely think that review is awesome.
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Xenokrist
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 56
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:28 pm 
 

That almost brought a tear to my eye, honestly.

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IntoNevermore
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2010 11:31 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Venezuela
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:37 pm 
 

Ok, I would like to share a conversation with him, it seems like a nice guy.
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I've never ate a Kiwi in my life, but a Kiwi has my love, my respect and my admiration.
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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 236
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 11:38 pm 
 

That was amazing. I'm going to go check out that band right now.

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Thiestru
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 1109
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:57 pm 
 

That review really should have been accepted. Especially because, holy shit, this Validor band is actually some damn good shit.* You've got to admit the review did what it set out to do.

*Except for the questionable vocals.
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Zodijackyl wrote:
Anything but undying, eternal praise for Awaken the Guardian is completely wrong and a disgrace to you, your band, family, and Facebook friends list.


Please check out my music at the following link. Thanks!

http://thiestru.bandcamp.com

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 1:50 pm 
 

Image

DISGRACE THE MEXICAN METAL!

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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5306
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 4:30 pm 
 

What in the name of hell is a "monkey beat"?
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Under_Starmere wrote:
THESE GILLS BREATHE HATERADE

KolmeNoitaa wrote:
(...) microwaves are your best friends. You'll learn to cook anything and everything by nuking it.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18756
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 5:27 pm 
 

It means the drums on the album aren't drums. They're some guy beating a monkey with a stick.
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Cinema Freaks latest reviews: Ghostbusters 2

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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5306
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 5:33 pm 
 

So, they sound like "OOK OOK AAACK AAAAACK OOK OOK OOK" then? :-P
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Under_Starmere wrote:
THESE GILLS BREATHE HATERADE

KolmeNoitaa wrote:
(...) microwaves are your best friends. You'll learn to cook anything and everything by nuking it.

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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2175
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 5:54 pm 
 

Maybe that's Mexican slang for the thrashy "tupa-tupa" beats?
_________________
Glass Shrine | melodic raw black metal, first demo coming soonish
TrogDawn wrote:
Azmodes wrote:
What's with the orange, dude?

Personal trademark. I've been posting in orange since I started frequenting forums in 2002. You'll always remember me because I'm the guy who posts in orange

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:26 pm 
 

This one's sitting in the review queue with this passage quoted in the rejection reason, I don't care to read through it again but I referenced it to give someone an idea of the type of crap that sits in the queue because I would rather not spend my time reading it. :P

"Just awesome. Or the poetic tale of the senselessness of war in For Whom the Bell Tolls, complete with such poetic lines as "Shouting gun, on they run through the endless grey. On they fight for they are right, yes but who's to say?” I actually randomly texted the lyrics to that song to a friend of mine who doesn't listen to music at all, and he just replied with that's scary. Scary indeed Andrew. And the badass biblical lyrics of Creeping Death are just so inspiring and fun to sing along with: "I! RULE THE MIDNIGHT AIR! THE DESTROYAAAAA!" Try not to scream too loud while jamming in your car...."

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8591
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 3:13 am 
 

For Vektor's Outer Isolation:

"I really enjoy the thrash sound but i feel like the growling vocals are a little different compared to the thrash style. Although I do think it sounds different and I have the album on right now, I can honestly say that I am listening through it. Guitars are good but vocals can be a bit better. But still worth listening to."

Written by a dude named KingJosh lol.
_________________
Metantoine's Magickal Realm: Interviews with Jussi Lehtisalo (Circle and many others) and Sami Hynninen (ex-Reverend Bizarre)
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8591
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:50 pm 
 

Here's a special about Running Wild tonight! I liked how he linked the same shitty intro for all of them.

Spoiler: show
Image

Image

Image

Image
_________________
Metantoine's Magickal Realm: Interviews with Jussi Lehtisalo (Circle and many others) and Sami Hynninen (ex-Reverend Bizarre)
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4788
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:30 pm 
 

Image

edit: this one too
Image

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8591
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:47 pm 
 

For Pantera's Cowboys from Hell, the dude is also an American, quite sad :(

"wow !! I've got to say pantera is one of my favorite bands and when it comes to pantera you have to no cowboys from hell . this is defiantly my favorite album of pantera . because you can't go wrong with the heaviness of domination or the serenity of cemetery gates . sleep is defiantly simple but come on its an incredible song and is made up by shattered and psycho holiday and for real heresy just makes me want to scream. clash with reality is pretty sweet and for the rest of the album all i can say is great job."
_________________
Metantoine's Magickal Realm: Interviews with Jussi Lehtisalo (Circle and many others) and Sami Hynninen (ex-Reverend Bizarre)
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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