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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3256
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:29 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Of course, I agree completely.


Damn, you made my edit show up :| . I see you edited your post as well. Those never satisfied with their original post(s), unite!

But yeah, agreed. If I see a review with a totally out of left field rating as far as popular opinion is concerned, I can't help but see what the hell is going on there. Call it morbid curiosity, although I'll admit it usually disappoints more often than not.
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hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6401
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:38 pm 
 

I don't usually bother. I probably miss out on many excellent reviews because of it. For one thing, I only read liquid_braino's reviews after there was some hype here. I had previously ignored them because I simply assumed that anyone giving such ratings to such music would probably be an irritating writer. :D

Not that he doesn't like great albums, though! Here In After, for example.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5239
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:59 pm 
 

What can I say, Batman? Clearly I'm perfect and everybody should strive to be me :p
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18855
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 4:58 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
I also think BastardHead makes a relatively strong point regarding the better reviews having personality and being "fun" reads, but I feel that some people go a bit too far with the meta-humour and rambling anger concept at times. I think that the best reviews have a decent balance of both that and a solid appraisal of the music itself. Just off the top of my head, I recall Empyreal doing this quite well aa a few junctures, some of his Dimmu Borgir reviews, if I'm not mistaken.


Thanks for the mention. Easy to be humorous when reviewing one of the worst bands in metal - props to you for also reviewing their shit negatively. Ha ha.

PS I still think Phantom Antichrist is a beast of a thrash album.
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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6098
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:15 pm 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
The award for "most mentions of his own reviews and their excellence in a post ostensibly about his favorite reviewers on the site" clearly goes to BastardHead.


Yeah gotta admit I cringed pretty hard throughout that post.

Top few of the top of my head:

Cheeses: Funny, conversational, describes the music well- a huge influence in my own review writing. The journals he used to do on his last.fm were often hilarious too. I think he ties with Noktorn as my favourite reviewer (MA or otherwise). Cheeses is more entertaining, but Noktorn, at least in terms of writing skill was a total class above- still is, in my opinion. Fantastic writer, did funny better than most, did serious and descriptive better than most, did most things better than most people. Writing wise at least. Haha.

Droneriot did funny and scathing rather well, had a lot of knowledge to back it up and rarely rambled. Another classic author. If he hated something then damn he really let you know it! Another one who I felt did the conversational type of review quite well, it really sounds a lot like him talking to you about the album. Really knew his shit too, which I feel came through the music nicely.

Abominatrix just sounds so passionate when he's writing about stuff he loves, and his writing style is really readable; the word "pure" comes to mind- there's just unadulterated enjoyment with the album he's listening to, (assuming it's a positive review). I haven't read too much of his stuff as it's rarely things I'm all that interested in but he's certainly a fantastic writer. The same applies to Gutterscream, very readable, often from a neat nostalgic point of view which he does very well. He does the whole "I was there" thing without sounding like a giant twat, which based on the forums is a very hard thing for older people to do!

Last but not least, Napero, for often very funny reviews, wide and varied taste in music, and a lot of detail put into what he writes. I love his generally super gimmicky style and the often rather bizarre metaphors he just hammers into his writing.
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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 532
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:18 pm 
 

HeySharpshooter wrote:
joncheetham88: Strong, detailed reviews. Don't always agree with him, but he backs everything up and never says anything that seems flat out wrong.

Missed this when it was first posted, but cheers for your positive words there mate.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 3256
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:56 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
PS I still think Phantom Antichrist is a beast of a thrash album.


I missed this at first, then I realized you must have meant Enemy of God, which is the one that I don't really like. From what little I've heard from Phantom Antichrist, it is pretty good. I still think Hordes of Chaos is their best post-Endorama album, though.
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bug_man wrote:
hello i am an ego if you do not repost this to 10 other pages i will fly into jari's apartment and mess up the orchestras for the new wintersun album

http://www.myspace.com/thevala
http://www.last.fm/user/Diamhea

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1419
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:13 pm 
 

Haha, I think I may have to change my underheading to "Giant Twat".
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Rippingheadache
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:42 pm
Posts: 601
Location: Vietnam
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:52 pm 
 

Thirding (or fourthing, fifthing?) Noktorn. Dude was a refreshingly honest writer whose reviews never felt compromised or swayed by popular, flavor-of-the-week bullshit. I also get the sense that he's one of the few who championed truly deranged, transgressive music when practically everyone else seem to have settled for less. Even if he seemed deliberately contrarian at times, the man knew how to write and was instrumental in getting me to appreciate the more maligned sub-genres of metal (Goregrind, Slam, etc).

Hilarious, sincere and completely self-assured.

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tomservo
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2005 9:28 pm
Posts: 18
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:25 pm 
 

BastardHead - His recent review of "The Life and Times of Scrooge" inspired me to finally make a list of reviewers I like. Though I would find myself less likely to read a reviews bands or genres I'm not so much into (Power Metal for example), BH's reviews are always a lot of fun to read regardless of what I might get out of them. He has a great balance of arrogance and self-loathing about the music he loves, or his own writing that always makes me laugh. Dude, I would love to buy you a beer if I ever had the chance.

Noctir - Obviously I don't know the guy, but when I first started reading this site regularly, I found myself scoffing at the low scores he would give to albums I love (example: Ulver - Bergtatt). But after spending time reading his reviews, I often find them very insightful and full of statements that back up his scores. Since in general I mostly hate giving a score to an album, though I find average scores useful when looking for a starting place with a band I'm about to get into, I appreciate his low scores because they help me remain objective toward an album I might otherwise find myself gushing over.

FullMetalAttorney - This guy seems so down to earth, I really appreciate reading reviews from someone that I picture to be just an everyday dude who happens to love metal, rather than someone who lives and breaths the image of a metal fan. FMA has a broad taste in his metal that I can appreciate, and his reviews are consistently well written and full of insight. Reading his reviews feels like hanging out and talking metal with a friend, rather than someone just trying to give me a history lesson on the band's roots or impress me with how much they think they know.

autothrall - Pretty much a no-brainer mention for me. Since his name is usually present under the reviews tab of many bands I eventually become interested in, I find his reviews to be a great resource on what is or isn't good about a band or album. He doesn't waste much time fluffing up his reviews with his obvious knowledge, but I still feel like I finish reading many of his reviews with one or more bands to check out, or to delve into further.


I also just have to say that I REALLY fucking love this site. It is probably the site I spend most of my internet time on and has been completely essential to my getting further into metal. Quite simply, this site has changed my life for the better. People sometimes lament the days of zines and tape trading before the internet blew up, and although I obviously missed that, I would probably still be listening to In Flames describing them as "hardcore with solos", and still desparately trying to find bands that sound like Dissection if it wasn't for this site.

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Nebster173
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 8:22 am
Posts: 301
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 12:30 pm 
 

I used to like Noktorn, but now, looking at many of his reviews again, he comes off very often as purposely outrageous. His reviews and opinions of bands are almost like what he wants the music to sound like, not what it actually is. Like, "What sort of opinions would I have to have to be considered an interesting person?" instead of opinions that reflect reality.

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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 463
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 2:20 pm 
 

or maybe he's just a strange and interesting person with strange and interesting opinions? I never got why everyone seemed to try and meta-analyze Noktorn.
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DivineSpirit33
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:23 pm
Posts: 83
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 1:44 pm 
 

I quite like thejoker's reviews, as they have introduced me to a bunch of great Christian black metal bands. His reviews are well-written, descriptive, and justified. Other than that, I really don't know who else to mention.
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 371
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:36 am 
 

Obligatory mentions: Noktorn.

Personal favorites:

MutantClannfear: Say what you will about his shit tastes but he's sure got one hell of a clear and great way to defend them. I mean, his review for Planetary Duality is a 17%, which is generally 70-75% lower than what most give it, and while I definitely don't agree with him, the way he defends his opinion on the album is pretty impressive, and makes his review one of the best of the album, even when it totally doesn't match my thoughts. The way he can explain and defend his opinions really speaks the right way to me. He's just got a really natural way of expressing his feelings on an album, clear, clean and wholly convincing.

Haven't really got anyone more, I like BastardHead's way of reviewing as well though. Then again most mods are pretty good reviewers.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6401
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:30 pm 
 

Yep, Noktorn was the best.

Quote:
Have you ever become so overcome with the beauty of the world that it seems nearly too much for you alone to handle? Have you ever been overwhelmed by sakura blossoms in the spring, by an incredible story in a much-loved book, by conversation with a lover? These are the moments that this album reflects.


Uhhh. So touching.
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MutantClannfear
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 2227
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:44 pm 
 

Meh, there were bound to be some blunders and slip-ups among such a prolific career which was at least 80% fueled by hard drugs. At his best, he surpassed almost everyone.

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DreamOfDarkness
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:09 pm
Posts: 181
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 3:47 pm 
 

I've got to say I really love the review for Pagan Altar - Mythical & Magical by lord_ghengis. Especially the last paragraph makes me smile or laugh each time, and the last sentence could easily be signature stuff. " ... so thanks, Pagan Altar, you killed your genre while not even being very good at the main core of it, well done, jerks. Awesome, awesome jerks."

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insomnia666
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:56 pm
Posts: 57
PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:08 am 
 

MutantClannfear because he appears to have a unique way of experiencing and dissecting music and manages to state even his more bizarre perspectives in a way that's so concise you'd have to be stupid to still be butthurt over him liking things you don't like. Noktorn was the same way but a little less eccentric/esoteric in his tastes and perspectives. A couple guys who have specialized in scathing reviews have been incredibly entertaining over the years as well, droneriot being my favorite because, unlike most of them, he actually articulated coherent, non-ridiculous perspectives that could be taken seriously. Speaking of which, anyone remember Tepes_The_Unweeping? His reviews had me loling time and time again, especially his review of the first Dethklok album which was pure unadulterated gold. I've tried to find an archive of it several times just to relive the hilarity of his indignation but to no avail.

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