People get too hung up on superficial things like what genre a band is, and their configuration. This band doesn't have a bassist nor a vocalist, doesn't that limit them a lot more? It doesn't restrict a band, but I find that genre-defiance is touted for bands whose albums are unfocused, incoherent, and purposeless. Does Morbid Angel "change genre" in God of Emptiness? Does Burzum "change genre" in En ring til a herske? Both bands also have songs which are not metal, but maintain the same vision and purpose. While I understand the appeal of this music and why he says this, I get the drift of it from this:

"This freedom means that the four instrumentalists can drift in a natural way between different kinds of music"

They drift around. I don't see that as freedom, I see that as being directionless. College students are bound to "limited" tracks, while hobos and drifters can go as they please. That's no virtue.

I suppose this is a testament to the review. While I disagree with it, I knew exactly what to expect from it. That's a damn good review.

Yeah, it's a fine review. Just an odd opinion, is all I'm saying.

The ratings, and the titles, that tries to kill the review system.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... Gun/348829

"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Slayer are the best band in the world, how could anyone call them bad?'"

Nope. I'm thinking "another troll or attention whore".

Age: 18

All you need to know.

Wow, that's one of the worst reviews I've read on here that got published. What the fuck, haha.

I'm surprised it got approved actually but that's perhaps a good thing since it's thoroughly hilarious.

Slayer invented breakdowns? Does he actually believe his own bullshit?

This was called "sloppy" when it was rejected. The typos were fixed, but is there anything else anyone sees that is wrong? Anything that is good? Anything that is bad?

Thanks.

"From the Alex Skolnick-like tone/shredding to each pounding riff, Blud Baf have succeeded in making a death metal meets groove metal album that's full of fun riffs, licks, interludes, solos, and of course grooves. Each song is its own trip down the road to insanity that includes some Pantera-esque harmonics and djent laden breakdowns.

Of the lyrics that I could hear in Blud Dungeon Crawler 4.1, the line "I will kill you" was the one that would continually get repeated over and over again. Just about everything that I could hear was in the first person standpoint. The lyrics just ran dry. Some of the song structure was very similar as well. "Blud Metal 2.1," "TOTS stereophonic," and "Myymbptt NPC Modal 4.33 0," all right next to each other in the track listing, all had similar song structure. They all had a djent-like verse, a a melodic or flowing chorus, and the standard shredding solo. It just seemed like the farther you went down the track list, the less memorable the songs became. The other seven songs however were genius. They were some of the grooviest metal songs I've heard in a long while, and they got my head banging. All of this along with absolutely wierd song titles, some in Japanese, added to this album's funky nature. Pat and Kyle really know how to create a unique record despite the sometimes less-than-spectacular lyrics.

Blud Bafs's musical skill demonstrated here is nothing short of amazing. I at first thought Kyle didn't look like much compared to Pat with his huge list of instruments he played on Blud Dungeon Crawler 4.1, but when I heard his solo in "Death By Sleep" I realized why he is in this band. His solos and shredding are like a mixture of Alex Skolnick's tone with a Tony Iommi-like note choice and flow. He just rips. And Pat is just astounding. The man is a great multi-instrentalist who satisfies the listener on every track with impressive song writing and musical ability. His drumming was on point, his bass playing was loose and flowing, and his rhythm parts complemented Kyle's leads perfectly. His work in "Death By Sleep" and "Nagato/Pain 11 .20" is arguably his best and most versatile.

The songwriting demonstrated in Blud Dungeon Crawler 4.1 was very professional and had definitely been thought through. "Blud Metal" owes its amazing nature to how the song was structured. Nothing was too long or too short and clearly showed that Blud Baf knows what the phrase "commercial friendly" means. One can easily tell that these two men have a odd, but definite sense of humor. The most hilarious form of this humor was at the end of "Death By Sleep," right before the keyboard solo. Directly before the breakdown, Pat says "The song is not over," as if to remind the listener that they should still be listening. Listen to the song to understand why this isn't as funny typed out as it is in the song.

My only other complaint was regarding Pat's vocals. A few quiet sections here and there were okay, however, it got real old, real fast. I could hear myself mouthing screaming parts to many a quiet verse. If this is a death/groove metal record, then where were the screams and growls that could've made the album work even better. He did have some great moments like in "危ない," in which he showed off quite an impressive vocal range. I'm still not sure what to make of Pat's vocals, but for the most part they worked.

Death/groove metal might not be the best description for this band's sound, and it's definitely not the sound that you are going to recieve from Blud Dungeon Crawler 4.1. Is that a bad thing? Nope. Bluf Baf's music is still very exceptional. Should they choose to write better lyrics, add vocals with different tones and pitches, then they are on their way to a perfect release. And I will be listening to it the day it comes out, because there is nothing like this band's sound."

I was just about to post the same thing! My god, that is one of the funniest things I have read in a review. I mean, I agree that I have pulled stuff out of my ass by not doing my homework thoroughly in some of my reviews, but this guy must be a meth junkie.

Wrong thread. That should be posted here: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=16487

My thoughts exactly when I saw the rating in the reviews page. Then I read the title and thought "great, another asstard mimicking Ultraboris's Master of Puppets rant" (which IMHO wasn't that great an addition to this site itself to begin with). Didn't bother to read any further and it's unlikely I ever will.

Well, that and "I don't really dig the "real metal" scene as it's just one big mess of brutality and nothing much else. This scene starts with Slayer, and continues through anything where brutality and/or speed seems to be the only key feature (this includes bands like Kreator, Sodom, Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus, Necrophagist, Obscura, ScepticFlesh, and black metal in general)."

What black metal did he listen to that could be lumped with all those other bands there? And the real metal scene? ok...

Seems like he's one of those super-nerd musician types who worships Dream Theater and a bunch of fringe metal acts...oh well. Seems like the review's been deleted too.

A bit late to the party, but has my review for the second album been saved (don't care for my one for the first one that much)? That was one of the favourite ones I've done. Checked my email recently and didn't see anything. Can't fault MA for deleting them though, their first album had some token metal parts, but on the whole seemed more compromised of generic folk and post-rock and the second one was undeniably not really metal at all. A fun band to roast, but certainly not metal by the archive's standards.

hm, I had assumed it was posted on that blog of yours. I'll PM you both in any event.

Seems like it's restored.

As a monument to hilarity, no doubt.

Wow, talk about being completely wrong and wearing it as a badge of honor. I actually consider that album to be the weakest of their first 4 so I'd be sympathetic to giving it a score under 90, but that was a brutally bad read irregardless of the album's actual quality and resulting status. I wouldn't even dignify it with a comparison to Ultraboris' "Puppets" review, which I've come to see as him venting his revulsion at Metallica's lengthy period of shittiness following their departure from thrash metal rather than an actual review of the album's contents itself, probably inspired by the MTV appearance where they had Sum 41, Limp Bizkit and Avril Lavigne covering their songs just prior to the release of St. Anger.

I guess it's technically passable, but hardly worth reading.

I once wanted to be the next Boris too, but I didn't hate Opeth enough.

I've had a RiB review lying around for awhile, forever unsubmitted since there's so many others, but I might have to throw it out there as defensive countermeasures. This will not stand, you know, this aggression will not stand, man.

And now deleted again.

It's gone for good now

Bugger I missed it I wanted to see the ramblings of someone uses fucking OBSCURA as an example of how metal is all about brutality.

Question that has been bugging me: What is the most reviewed release on this website?

I think it might be Penis Metal by Hades Archer?... Don't quote me on that one, I could be wrong.

Aside from Penis Metal, it's Wintersun´s Time I. Having missed it until now, I'm curious as to why the band's only two releases get so much attention.

Top 10 from the stats:


Penis Metal used to have around 50 (60?) after 2014 April Fools, but many were part of the joke/not up to our usual review standards and were subsequently removed.

My bad on wintersun, no one hated it enough so I needed to vent.

Hey, just a quick question: When writing the first drdaft of my review for the most recent Apostle Of Solitude album, I dedicated an entire paragraph to the production of the album, and subsequently I think that that was an error (so I removed it in the review I submitted), and here is why I think why: for me, when writing a review for an album, talking about the production should be a very marginal part, because for me an album should be judged on the music. When the production is good, then fine, but even a good production can't save bad songwriting, just as much as a bad proudction seldomly takes much away from my enjoyment of an album. What are your opinions on this? This question has been bothering me a lot lately.

I think production is incredibly important. UNLESS the album is something abstract to be admired for weirdness and uniqueness, a metal album is probably gonna be something simple to be listened to to rock out and enjoy listening to, through, yes, the music, so the riffs, the hooks, the energy and so forth. If something sounds like shit or has a production which detracts from how pleasurable the good aspects of the music are, then yes, it's a huge detriment since it hinders every fucking second of the release. On the other hand, something with the perfect sound, it's going to help cover some lacking riffs or meandering moments, see Slugathor's Echoes From Beneath. I wouldn't devote a paragraph on production to every single album I'd ever review, because most of the time it'll be adequate to fitting, but an exceptional or terrible one is absolutely justification for how good something it.

I do get your point - the production is important, but as I said, when the songwriting is good, then I can excuse a sub par production, like for example on (please don't flame me for this) Crystal Logic (a great album, with a somewhat weak production in my opinion), or Ageless Venomous by Krisiun (those drum sounds are really crappy, but I doesn't take away from the fact, that I think the songwriting is great, and I therefore thoroughly enjoy the album.)
On the flipside you have a whole new wave of technical death metal bands with clear production and shitty songwriting - isn't it ultimately the songwriting that affects how much we enjoy an album? It's for me at least, but I guess it's different for everyone.

I'm just going to pop in and say that I hate modern techdeath production even more than I dislike the actual music. Hypercompressed, poorly mixed, over-triggered drums, etc. It's just physically painful to listen to. It's not very clear to me, more like nauseating.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... art/316901

Utterly valueless review with nothing to say. What's the point in more 0% reviews for this again?

Everyone wants to throw in their redundant two cents I suppose. An easy target for a poor writer apparently struggling already for solid targets to review.

A huge surge of n00b reviewers over the past few weeks really stressing me out. Some like Roffle look like they might come out of the whole endeavor with some measure of integrity intact. Notice that he is making an effort to hang around and take the criticisms to heart without passive aggressive meltdown ala MT90. He is an example some of these newcomers would be wise to follow.

After it came out at first, yeah, I get it - the shock of that is warrant enough for review. But 4 years later? Eh...

There's always room for good reviewers. It's just important to have some self awareness.

Has it really been 4 years already? What even is my life...?

The only suitable way to measure your life is by Metallica release dates.

By good I do not mean clear, just making sure that's understood. I am one of MAs resident Manilla Chode haters, so I'm happy saying that the production on... everything they've ever done makes them even more tedious and shitty than they already are, sucking any tiny bit of life or energy out of every second which isn't an admittedly bitching solo.

Quite.

Poorly written, unstructured, void of insight, unfunny and obsolete.

Attacking high-profile duds is tempting because you get to take a shot at something big, but too many people just use this as an excuse to try and come up with a few creative insults so that they can avoid having to talk about the music proper.

Not that the above review has any creative insults. Calling riffs "boringly repetitive" is meaningless, and people who use "really?" as a retort should simply not be allowed to write.

I don't even have to single out that particular review - what I said applies to any of the last five or even ten reviews for Lulu or whatever else, Illud or St Anger or whatever. It's tempting to take on the whole angry Internet reviewer persona - I know, believe me - but if you're just repeating what everyone else said, it's difficult to make your work stand out. If any one review was by itself in a vacuum, it'd still be poorly written but wouldn't be nearly as irritating so as to warrant talking about it. But all of them together - not a good sight.

I think reviewing the super-popular stuff that everyone already knows about is boring. Not saying that you are only allowed to review obscure bands from China with a couple of black metal demo tapes, but I'd rather spend my time writing something that isn't familiar to a wide variety of people in the scene.