He kept deleting/resubmitting so it cleared the rejection history message, but I asked this guy to post his draft in the feedback thread since he wasn't fixing the formatting. The result:

Because an online 'zine is always a good measure of professionalism, and quality, right?

*cough* Pitchfork *cough*

He could have just asked how to fix it ........ but ............... no. ..................................he'd rather be a baby. ...........................................sad

Even though their Big Cartel page is clearly listed under their merch tab in the related links.

We can chalk up a neglected capital letter to start a sentence to simple laziness. I get that. But what would possibly possess someone to make the effort to Capitalize a word right in the Middle of a sentence?

This was another translator-fed review ala that Annihilator review a few months back. This is only the first half of it:



And I might as well show you the rest because he tries to make some snarky "comment" at the end.

That sounds like something from The Shining or something ..... <___< (the comment)

That was truly , and belongs in the Engrish Hall of Fame. However, as a member of the regular ol' middle class, I want to know how I can move on up to the "fireworks powerful middle class".

Yes, it does. I'm reading this in depth for the first time, holeeeee shit:





That rivals "Pints of hairy hedgehog" from the Annihilator one

Cucumber Escalation is a phenomenon that should not be scoffed at--thousands of lives are taken yearly.

It is also a kickass band name.

I've always thought that all the best/worst/angriest ESL comes from the spanish-speaking world, and this is the best yet!

"However."

This rivals "Call me Ishmael" for strongest opening sentences in the history of written word.

With a user name like "Anti_USA", I'm sure his complaint about this review rejection will be well thought out.

A 45 year old used the word 'poser.' rofl.

lol @ "I'm older than you and this means something, I've been listening to this stuff since you were in nappies!"

these are the guys that keep Slayer in business

Well, it *was* National Donut Day recently, so he probably is a fairly well-rounded individual.

Oh, well if you're a lieutenant at a police department, clearly anything you've written deserves to be published even if it's just a picture of a guy picking his nose. Standing ovation for this genius.

Can't believe I missed that one...

Is this guy not aware you're supposed to put a space after a punctuation mark? Or is whatever translator he's using doing that?

Regarding those last two reviews, I tried reading them and gave up about three or four sentences in. I think I felt some of my brain cells beg for a merciful death.

That's a couple butt-fugly things to read! Seven words,three spaces.Can wrote?Queried.

There have been more revolting examples of bad reviews on this thread.
But yeah, crap spelling, broken English and waffling on for 2 paragraphs about what he likes and Portuguese black metal.
Still, no 'grains in her face' or 'occaz the frangins!'.

Yeah, any time you read "Anyway, let's talk about the demo itself", that's an admission that everything up to that point was completely tangential.

"one mini album you did guy"

Awesome.

I feel bad that the first band only got one horn. m/

We have had so many track by track reviews submitted recently (by those unwilling to read the guidelines) we inserted a clear-as-crystal reminder in the review submission form itself.

Has it worked? Of course not.

"Of Doom" is actually very fast despite its name? And I thought Against Me!'s song "Thrash Unreal" was going to be thrash metal. Fool me once...

The formatting in some of these reviews is what keeps me awake at night.

More translator fun:

Truer words have never been spoken.