The review itself is pretty good, no qualms about it short of the Gypsy thing. But that thing does come off as: "The band's from Romania so they must be Gypsies", especially during the Blut Aus Nord comparison. Thing is, it's apparent that he just assumes that because it's Romanian and has a folk sound is sounds "gypsy" but that's completely false, there's a fuckload of Romanian folk music which has NOTHING to do with Gypsies and he can't grasp that.

He can grasp that. No need to take it as an insult to your race. He was simply ignorant of the facts, or didn't really think about it. Why not shoot him a message explaining the difference instead of sperging out over it?

Let's face it: Out in the world, you people are mostly known as either gypsies or for Ceaucescu.

Mostly because I haven't seen him do anything since 2004 and he has no email listed.

Alexlovestheredchord on Nadja - "Slower then Plutonian time."

Someone needs to inform the young man that time does not actually move any slower on Pluto, the days are just longer due to slower rotation. Time itself moves at exactly the same pace.

Was it really worth posting that? That's neither good, bad nor what the christ.

Seemed more like a 'look at me, I am a retard trying to be funny' moment.

I found it funny that he mispelled "then" in a review title. Still that's not really worth posting here, and SharpAndSlender is just being a nitpicky moron.

It's actually a blatant caspian homage, as you know:

NADJA IS HEAVIER THEN THIS!!

First the album is slower and then it's time for Plutonian.

So, anyone else find it troubling how often nok makes penile references in his reviews? Particularly self-referential penile references.

It's Noktorn, that's just how he rolls. Bit hard to imagine him not making a reference to his genitalia at least once every review or two.

The new Manowar review is fairly bad, the one before it's worse:



Just struck me as a really stupid damn line. What does he expect them to encourage? Being a law abiding citizen and getting an accountant degree?

Well it's an AlexLovesTheRedChord review, of course it's going to be pure shit and full of stupidity.

nah, this is the one after the Alex review (which is also shit). I should point out that I'm not a huge fan of louder then hell lest that post get confused with butthurt whining, either

Surely it's better to reference your own penis than someone else's? Just a thought...

Alexlovestheredchord is not only shite -- but factually inaccurate:



I believe Joey writes all the lyrics. Besides, writing Manowar off because of Louder Than Hell is like saying Iron Maiden is a shitty band because they put out The X Factor.

I've only listened to that album once, so maybe I missed that line but isn't it "if you don't like metal, you're not my friend" from The Triumph of Steel (the second song, forget the name).

Good point.

Not only that, but the guy has absolutely TONS of spelling errors. So much for being an "English major". Worse, he actually gets loads of things incorrect. Not just once or twice either, but all the time. Just look at these tidbits from his Painkiller review:





What does this even mean? He's probably talking about how there was a backlash against Priest after Turbo and Ram It Down, and Painkiller was their response to that, but he's worded it really badly.



Not only does he actually give these songs the wrong names and miss out the word "high" in-between "unbelievably" and "falsettos", he then goes and contradicts himself by claiming Between The Hammer And The Anvil has a powerful opening riff, and then says that the opening riff is weak.



Besides the obvious bad grammar here in that he uses "while" but ends with a full stop and no other reason, he's ridiculously ignorant if he thinks most older fans automatically hate all albums with good productions.

Since alexlovestheredchord is on tap for bitter beer, I'll add that he shot himself in the foot with his give-me-attention review of Lead and Aether for me. I read the title, score, and then the period in the first sentence held up a stop sign. I obeyed the law and screeched on my brakes. It came off as someone with an identity crisis, and the message boards or shooting the shit with your buds is better for this kind development or learning curve. Plus jumping right into one of their older genre specific recordings was more reason to question his motivations behind reviewing it, since their newest album is the most accessible to a more general audience.

Yeah every one of Alex's reviews I've read is just terrible. I'm going to go through his output because I simply cannot believe all of it is acceptable. Do not be surprised if you see his review total dwindle.

Thank you God.

But on topic, I feel this passage by Droneriot deserves a mention under the good category, for his review of the Napalm Death/Electrohippies split.



Great mental image. Truly great. And so well worded. Just hilarious.

"If you like metal, you're my friend" is off Louder than Hell.

"If you're not into metal, you are not my friend" is off The Triumph of Steel.

Let's face it: Out in the world, you people are mostly known as either gypsies or for Ceaucescu.[/quote]

and you finnish people for being russians bitch, remember cold war??

Not really. The world at large has no thoughts about finns whatsoever, (and by the world I mean the anglosphere [by which I mean the US]).

However, from my experience, Finns are widely heterophobic sauna dwellers.

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=10187#101472



At this point, I think his rage got the best of him, since he's using modern terms for some reason? I can only imagine the size of his heart attack if he heard something like Exterminator's full length from the same year and state in Brazil, or other material as such, ha.

http://www.vibrationsofdoom.com/test/Exterminator.html

I don't see the problem. His complaints are totally legitimate. The band is extremely sloppy on that album.

well, I like that one more than Holocausto actually.

Well, they got tighter as their discography lengthened, but even with that, I can't say I like anything wholeheartedly that they've put out.

Now that I'm looking at what I wrote, I should have only highlighted "nekro" and "kvlt." And also added a separate paragraph for the second sentence; two different thoughts combined. Not to add unnecessary comparison, but I wrote a review for it as well, and the score I gave it is something in this case where I don't care for it as I do other Brazilian material I've rated.

I don't look at those terms just mentioned above too highly, even when mocking. Either way they've become somewhat lazy catch-all phrases and are just plain retarded to me. Sellers on Ebay used to say it like it meant something to market certain misunderstood or obscure recordings. So, applying a modern phrase like that to older material (not just older material, but material that came out shortly after extreme metal was forming in Brazil) and assuming anyone who "likes" or "understands" Campo de Exterminio is a modern listener, is short sighted considering the amount of recordings morbert has covered. That's what I meant by his rage got the best of him.

If he would have said something like they became philosophical posers after Campo, then... And I just typed longer than his review.



Hehe, and here I was assuming you didn't have perspective, but I gotta ask, how much more? Since Exterminator is terrible to me, music as well as production wise, and it's hard for me to fathom what you said.

Empyreal's new review of King of Metal leads me to believe he's not familiar with Manowar. He's more lenient in his judgment because he knows Manowar is a band that doesn't take themselves seriously. Wait...what?

It's fair to assume they were less totally serious about their attitude back in the days before they'd come to fully define themselves by it and completely typecast themselves.

No, I'm lenient in my judgment of it because I don't really hate the album even despite the fact that it's crammed with a bunch of stupid shit - it's not exactly offensive enough to warrant any real vitriol. How did you even read into my review with what you just said?

Also in Empyreal's defense, any band's intentions during the making of an album have nothing to do with how the music is heard. Case in point, Metallica spends years in a studio, yet when their albums are reviewed, "it sounds like they spent three hours on this piece of shit" is not an inaccurate description, even if I were to disagree with the notion.

All I can say is that Empyreal is a homo for giving "Kings of Metal" a score as low as 52% and MaDTransilvanian is a homo for giving "Reign of Light" a score as high as 49%.

I didn't say it was the only reason, dude. Don't get defensive.



That's not a defense. I'm claiming he doesn't know too much about Manowar, not that he didn't hear the music.

I've thought Kings of Metal was lame ever since I first heard it 2 or 3 years ago, even with the couple of really cool songs on it. That's about the score I've always considered giving it, between a 50 and a 60, really. Give me Battle Hymn (easily an album I'd give above a 90) or any of the other early ones any day.

And what don't I know about Manowar? I've listened to a fair amount of their albums and what I mentioned in the review is just honestly what I think is wrong with them, even if I know they wouldn't have done it any differently or anything. I think I 'get' them just fine. Doesn't really make KoM a good album either way.

...And your claim is based on what, exactly?

No, not if you read very old interviews. Back in the late 80's, Ross ended up out of Manowar because Joey's "extreme" attitude was too much for him.



You are missing the point quite badly. If you perceive Manowar as a band who doesn't take themselves too seriously, you aren't familiar with the band.



Joey DeMaio is notorious for taking himself, his band, and heavy metal about as seriously as it can be taken. Empyreal said Manowar don't take themselves too seriously.

Again, there's a difference between making a statement based on what you can hear and making the same statement based on the actual people in a band are like.

Please, it was one line in the review that had no real bearing on my point or what I thought of the album. I may have been wrong about that, but it's not like I hinged everything I said on that statement - it doesn't really change one damn thing.

EXACTLY! I'm saying Empyreal is not familiar with Manowar. He just knows what the music is like. Think for a moment, dude.



Okay, yeah, whatever. And all I did was write one small post about it in this thread. We're even.