Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives

Message board

* FAQ    * Search   * Register   * Login 



This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.
Author Message Previous topic | Next topic
MARSDUDE
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 8:17 pm
Posts: 1741
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:22 pm 
 

Because 'fuck all that is inhuman'.

Top
 Profile  
Thashierthanthou
Not Semi-Witty Enough for his Own Title

Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 4:04 pm
Posts: 2292
Location: Mushroom Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:40 pm 
 

Regarding Christian rap
Spoiler: show
_________________
Subrick wrote:
opet is tree metal! there early albums talk about trees!

They should have talked about why failsafeman sucks!

Top
 Profile  
caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6119
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:43 pm 
 

Look at all the non-christians pretending they know their christian rap! Adorable.


Loved this when I was 7. Pretty sure I still know the whole album word for word. It's awful, maybe slightly better than Carman, man that dude was terrible.

Here's some Carman:
Spoiler: show
_________________
http://www.pozible.com/project/177604 <-- got a crowdfunder thing going for an album I'm doing. Pre-order something!

Top
 Profile  
Scorntyrant
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 5:55 am
Posts: 1117
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:01 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:

We can't forget the classic beats and rhymes of "Rappin' for Jesus".



Also, if there are any two bands that exemplify how excellent Christian extreme metal can get, they're Mortification:



And Antestor:



This would be the same Mortification who penned this classic would it?

[Genesis 6:1-9 and Genesis 7]
[Chorus]
Noah was a knower, he knew the heart of God
Noah was a knower, to build the wooden ark [x2]
All the animals crawling on the ground
couldn't help that man had fallen
God looked down with an awful frown,
knew he must bring lots of water
Drown the sins there to be found
Man had disobeyed his calling
There is someone who is holy
He must work to save the animals

[Chorus repeat]

Noah was praying, just hanging around
shut his face from all who'd fallen
God said build the Ark right now,
save the animals from the water
Noah had faith in God's command
even though he'd never seen thunder
Got to working with his family

building the Ark

[Chorus repeat]

100 years of banging tools
Laughed at by his neighbours scorn
40 days and 40 nights
Smelly animals all around

[Middle bit]
God's calling is always a challenge
It may not be what you would seem
But following his ways through life
ends up leading to the mountain top

Heard the animals two by two
Chooks and cows and kangaroos
Close the doors as rain comes down
All his neighbours start to drown
As the boat began to rock
all the sin was washed away
100 years of real hard work
Noah sat down and had a coffee

Finally the waters went
Noah was on the mountain top
The rainbow came as a new promise
God would show his mercy often

:P
_________________
[quote="Mike_Tyson"]

"I think the average person thinks I'm a fucking nut and I deserve whatever happens to me."

"My intentions were not to fascinate the world with my personality."

Top
 Profile  
caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6119
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:25 pm 
 

Scorn, all I have to say in that regard is GOD RULZ
_________________
http://www.pozible.com/project/177604 <-- got a crowdfunder thing going for an album I'm doing. Pre-order something!

Top
 Profile  
Marag
Veteran

Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:55 pm
Posts: 2660
Location: down there where chaos prevails
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:33 pm 
 

caspian wrote:
Scorn, all I have to say in that regard is GOD RULZ

Quote:
God rulz
God rulz
God rulz
God rulz

God rulz
God rulz
God rulz
God rulz


GOD RULZ

Top
 Profile  
failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 9733
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:44 pm 
 

The ultimate Christian rapper will always be T-Bone.


He puts demons in coffins.
_________________
antonthereaper wrote:
Seriously, why ban me??????? That topic had nothing wrong with it! Theres something wrong with you i can tell you! You're immoral banning of my account! Anyways, i'm creating my own metal arcives.

http://extrememetalencyclopedia.webs.com/

Top
 Profile  
caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6119
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:47 pm 
 

Does christian music have much mainstream exposure in 'Murka, or does it just exist in it's own world like over here? You'd think in the bible belt and all that it would be massive. Guess it's not any worse than Garth Brooks or whatever.
_________________
http://www.pozible.com/project/177604 <-- got a crowdfunder thing going for an album I'm doing. Pre-order something!

Top
 Profile  
failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 9733
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:53 pm 
 

Nah it's basically in its own little bubble. Christian bands can make a decent living but they're never on MTV or anything.
_________________
antonthereaper wrote:
Seriously, why ban me??????? That topic had nothing wrong with it! Theres something wrong with you i can tell you! You're immoral banning of my account! Anyways, i'm creating my own metal arcives.

http://extrememetalencyclopedia.webs.com/

Top
 Profile  
Marag
Veteran

Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:55 pm
Posts: 2660
Location: down there where chaos prevails
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:56 pm 
 

It does have some mainstream exposure here in Brazil if that matters, although it's more of the evangelical variety than catholic, which is the majority religion here.
The evangelics sure like their cheesy God tunes.

Top
 Profile  
Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5004
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:56 pm 
 

Only Faith + 1 is real.
_________________
lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

Top
 Profile  
Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 2734
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:02 pm 
 

failsafeman wrote:
Nah it's basically in its own little bubble. Christian bands can make a decent living but they're never on MTV or anything.


Isn't Skillet a pretty popular Christian rock group?
_________________
failsafeman wrote:
In fairness though, a giant ball of cow dung is a hell of a conversation-starter.

Top
 Profile  
dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3572
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:11 pm 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
Only Faith + 1 is real.

:lol:

On a big psychedelic rock kick right now. It's a shame The Myrrors only got one album out of them.
_________________
http://ifthisishellthenimlucky.blogspot.ca/

Top
 Profile  
TheRealThing
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:57 am
Posts: 1142
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:13 pm 
 

Smoking_Gnu wrote:
Isn't Skillet a pretty popular Christian rock group?


Yeah, and we had (have?) Lifehouse. But compared to the totality of pop music it's a pretty small percentage.
_________________
http://philanselmosface.tumblr.com -- My blog of shitty Phil Anselmo edits

Top
 Profile  
Under_Starmere
Abhorrent Fish-Man

Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:00 pm
Posts: 4421
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:29 pm 
 

Another fresh cut (on the smoov tip):

_________________
Visual Art: The Illuminated Night
Drone: IA
Shop: House of the Black Wolf

Top
 Profile  
TheRealThing
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:57 am
Posts: 1142
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:33 pm 
 

Now that's some Christ music that I can get busy to.
_________________
http://philanselmosface.tumblr.com -- My blog of shitty Phil Anselmo edits

Top
 Profile  
Marag
Veteran

Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:55 pm
Posts: 2660
Location: down there where chaos prevails
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:43 pm 
 

just when temperature drops to near zero my water heater decides to stop working, had a little surprise when i went to take a shower now. fuck this.

Top
 Profile  
iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 7993
Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 11:06 pm 
 

Yeah, sometimes Christian rock groups successfully cross over onto mainstream rock radio or whatever. I think the biggest one of them was probably Switchfoot. Of course there are also overtly Christian bands that were never really part of the CCM scene and were always more affiliated with secular music media, like Creed.
_________________
Exigence wrote:
I love hearing Six Feet Under's covers of classic songs.


COMA VOID | GLOAMING | FAUSTIAN ORBS

Top
 Profile  
corpsewithoutsoul
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:07 pm
Posts: 161
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 11:53 pm 
 

Today I rejected the advances of a skinny wannabe thug on a crappy bicycle and he had a temper tantrum about it.
He tried to spit on me, but his spittle was poorly aimed and it simply sprayed back onto his own person. It was great. Not so great is the fact that someone had the audacity to attack me simply because I didn't respond nicely to his obnoxious cat-calling.
Some people really need to grow a pair.
_________________
LAST.FM

Top
 Profile  
Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5004
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 11:58 pm 
 

That's a great story. Tell us more.
_________________
lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

Top
 Profile  
GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2653
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:01 am 
 

I think I'm having a mid-mid-life crisis: I want to pick up an instrument. Of what variety, I have no idea. A bass, perhaps? I have too much downtime lately in this hellish wait between grad school and working that'll last more than a year.

In the meantime, God Dethroned! :hyper:
_________________
Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Thrashpit
Last FM

Top
 Profile  
iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 7993
Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:05 am 
 

Well if you're going to pick up an instrument and have a real easy time with it, I suggest a kazoo, harmonica or flute. They're among the lightest instruments.
_________________
Exigence wrote:
I love hearing Six Feet Under's covers of classic songs.


COMA VOID | GLOAMING | FAUSTIAN ORBS

Top
 Profile  
corpsewithoutsoul
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:07 pm
Posts: 161
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:06 am 
 

PS: Never eat a pound of unwashed cherries in a single sitting. I paid dearly for it, and you will too.
_________________
LAST.FM

Top
 Profile  
darkeningday
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 2252
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:09 am 
 

I AM LITERALLY EATING A POUND OF CHERRIES RIGHT MEOW. They're like $2 a pound at Hy-Vee. Total steal.

Mine are sitting in a still-wet colander, though. I can't even envision eating grocery store fruits unwashed.
_________________
I will, I will, I will, I will never fuck a non-man ass nigga

Top
 Profile  
Under_Starmere
Abhorrent Fish-Man

Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:00 pm
Posts: 4421
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:14 am 
 

corpsewithoutsoul wrote:
Today I rejected the advances of a skinny wannabe thug on a crappy bicycle and he had a temper tantrum about it.
He tried to spit on me, but his spittle was poorly aimed and it simply sprayed back onto his own person. It was great. Not so great is the fact that someone had the audacity to attack me simply because I didn't respond nicely to his obnoxious cat-calling.
Some people really need to grow a pair.


He obviously didn't know about your machete.


EDIT: Aaaaaaaand I'm just gonna set this down right here... ...there ya go... ...wokay.

_________________
Visual Art: The Illuminated Night
Drone: IA
Shop: House of the Black Wolf

Top
 Profile  
Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5630
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:40 am 
 

corpsewithoutsoul wrote:
Today I rejected the advances of a skinny wannabe thug on a crappy bicycle and he had a temper tantrum about it.
He tried to spit on me, but his spittle was poorly aimed and it simply sprayed back onto his own person. It was great. Not so great is the fact that someone had the audacity to attack me simply because I didn't respond nicely to his obnoxious cat-calling.
Some people really need to grow a pair.

Have ya thought about going all Machete on his ass?

EDIT: Crap, didn't see Starmere's previous statement. Curse you, Fish-Man!
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
Fun fact: if you put a baby on a vegan diet, it dies. Vegans are babykillers.

Top
 Profile  
Under_Starmere
Abhorrent Fish-Man

Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:00 pm
Posts: 4421
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:50 am 
 

_________________
Visual Art: The Illuminated Night
Drone: IA
Shop: House of the Black Wolf

Top
 Profile  
iAm
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 5630
Location: West of the Duwamish due South of the Sound
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:47 am 
 

Tonight at the ACxDC show I went to was hella funny. This kid whose been talking mad shit about me tried pulling that in front of a group of friends of mine and I punched him hard in the stomach mid sentence.

The rest of the show he sat outside by himself moping and eventually left. Life is good :)
_________________
iamntbatman wrote:
If the U.N. flew a bunch of C130's over Syria and rained down boxes of Thin Mints, they'd be standing in a giant circle hand-in-hand singing like goddamn Whoville residents within an hour.

I hate music

Top
 Profile  
Jonpo
Hypercolombowler

Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:05 am
Posts: 4591
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:13 am 
 

You're a deset brawler, whereas I'm more of a dessert brawler.

I would have probably just tried to reduce him to a fragment of a shell of a human by immediately launching into the most hurtful insults I can muster while I've got my friends to play "live audience". I'm not much for violence but there's nothing quite like roasting a kid who gets out of pocket verbally.
_________________
I'm livin' for givin' the Devil his due...

Top
 Profile  
iAm
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 5630
Location: West of the Duwamish due South of the Sound
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:17 am 
 

I'm not a violent person by nature, but he had it coming.
_________________
iamntbatman wrote:
If the U.N. flew a bunch of C130's over Syria and rained down boxes of Thin Mints, they'd be standing in a giant circle hand-in-hand singing like goddamn Whoville residents within an hour.

I hate music

Top
 Profile  
LlamaTrainer
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:04 pm
Posts: 682
Location: Prince George, B.C.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:29 am 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
Well if you're going to pick up an instrument and have a real easy time with it, I suggest a kazoo, harmonica or flute. They're among the lightest instruments.

Making heavy music with light instruments, sounds like a great idea.
_________________
Under_Starmere wrote:
When a true believer stands within a fifteen-foot radius of a Gay, their crucifix begins to tremble.

Diamhea wrote:
Do drugs, don't pretend.

Top
 Profile  
xThe__Wizard
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:59 pm
Posts: 845
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:41 am 
 

So this has to be the worst thing I've ever heard. Maybe some things shouldn't be released to the public.
_________________
Western NY Metal Scene Facebook page.
Controlled by Fear. Grindcore. Split with Special Buddy Discount out now.

Top
 Profile  
Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5630
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:50 am 
 

xThe__Wizard wrote:

That..... That..... Thing was made by Celtic Frost? Celtic fucking Frost?

Oh gods, I can't stop hearing it. It's in my head now. It's. In my. Head.

*hangs himself*

But in all seriousness, that was genuinely woeful.
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
Fun fact: if you put a baby on a vegan diet, it dies. Vegans are babykillers.

Top
 Profile  
LlamaTrainer
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:04 pm
Posts: 682
Location: Prince George, B.C.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:58 am 
 

xThe__Wizard wrote:

I was actually thinking about this on my way to work last night, it's stupid fun like Illud was if you don't expect anything similar to their other material.
_________________
Under_Starmere wrote:
When a true believer stands within a fifteen-foot radius of a Gay, their crucifix begins to tremble.

Diamhea wrote:
Do drugs, don't pretend.

Top
 Profile  
Calusari
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:36 am
Posts: 708
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:00 am 
 

xThe__Wizard wrote:


:ugh: I didn't think that music could still shock, horrify, traumatise me to such an extent... My sanity feels bruised, and not in a good way. I've got the blasted thing stuck in my head now.

Get it out. Get it out. GET. IT. OUT.

Top
 Profile  
AppleQueso
Veteran

Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:02 am
Posts: 2528
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:57 am 
 

Bahahha, I wonder how often that CF song has been posted in here? I've definitely seen it a couple of times before.

Top
 Profile  
colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 4586
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:25 am 
 

''Get Wicked'' is also great! :lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U_aeUywUFQ

Top
 Profile  
MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
Posts: 2014
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:26 am 
 

darkeningday wrote:
I AM LITERALLY EATING A POUND OF CHERRIES RIGHT MEOW. They're like $2 a pound at Hy-Vee. Total steal.

Mine are sitting in a still-wet colander, though. I can't even envision eating grocery store fruits unwashed.


I raise you ten liters of unwashed red currants. Didn't cost me nuthing. Except an hour of picking. Berries from one's own bushes! Though red currants aren't as good as cherries. Or perhaps it's just the abundance of them every Summer that's gotten me so used to them while cherries are rather rare here, especially good and/or domestic ones.

Top
 Profile  
darkeningday
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 2252
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:05 am 
 

I've never even tasted a red currant (aren't they spelled redcurrant? I'll admit I'm not terribly up-to-date on my europe-native berry spellings), although I've tasted Jostaberries which I understand are fairly similar. They were absolutely delicious, although I believe they were baked in a pie, so that probably skewed my impression somewhat.
_________________
I will, I will, I will, I will never fuck a non-man ass nigga


Last edited by darkeningday on Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Top
 Profile  
Bezerko
Vladimir Poopin

Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:50 am
Posts: 4806
Location: Venestraya
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:08 am 
 

Erosion Of Humanity wrote:
Earthcubed wrote:
Obviously you would find it preferable for them to have run out of fuel, crashed, and died, right? :roll:



No. I would just like to think that whoever is in charge of the missions or exercises or whatever would make it a priority to make sure that the planes have enough fuel to make it all the way. It isn't unreasonable to expect accountability from people. :thumbsup:


Except that sometimes missions go longer than planned. Maybe there was a delay that stopped them dropping their ordnance on the range, resulting them in them spending more time in the air than they had planned for? A strike fighter only has a limited fuel supply.

inhumanist wrote:
I just wonder why of all places they have to fly their stupid warbuddy exercises over the reef.


You try and find a training area large enough to stage brigade + level excercises in Queensland north of Brisbane. Don't forget that training area is essentially a huge nature reserve with a few vehicle tracks and 5.56 cartridges scattered around.

Top
 Profile  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies. Go to page Previous  1 ... 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205 ... 518  Next


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

 
Jump to:  

Back to the Encyclopaedia Metallum


Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group