Thank you, Balor. You seem to be the only one who really understands the point I was making: That being sexually attracted to women, wanting to have sex with a particular woman, and acting on those natural urges with her full consent, does not have to come with the implication that she's not good for anything else or that any disrespect is meant. If the song doesn't explicitly say anything to indicate otherwise, I will always assume that the woman involved is up for it, that's she's being treated with respect (sexual acts and respectful behavior are not mutually exclusive), and that it's fully understood that she is a person with thoughts and feelings and a whole life of her own, even though the role she's presently playing is the role of sex partner.
She Goes Down? When I mentioned Motley Crue, I wondered if someone would bring up that song. Okay, it's about getting a blowjob and enjoying it. Is it misogynistic or sexist to enjoy sexual favors? I don't think so. If the woman were being forced or coerced into performing that act when she wasn't comfortable with doing so, yes, it would be very denigrating. But if she's choosing to do it of her own free will because she wants to make the guy feel good, then that's her choice and there's nothing denigrating about it. It's not offensive for men to sing about being attracted to women. If you think it is, why don't you consider the opposite situation: a woman singing sexually charged lyrics in a metal band. For example, Halestorm's "I Get Off." Is Lzzy Hale objectifying herself? Is she objectifying men? I don't think so. She's just singing about a sexual situation where both people involved are into it and having a good time, and I don't see how that's offensive to anybody.
When asked about hip hop, I want to be careful about my answer, because frankly, I don't know a lot of hip hop, I really dislike what I have heard, and for those reasons it can be tempting to just go flaming it, but I want to avoid being unfair or judging it by a different standard when I don't know much about it. Not really knowing any hip hop lyrics, I have to give a very general answer: If it's about sex, it's not automatically offensive just for that reason. If it explicitly says that sex is all women are good for or that it's okay to force women into sex or anything like that, obviously there's something offensive there. Personally, I hate what I know of hip hop not because of any wounded femininity, but because of the lack of creativity I perceive. In my experience it always seems to be one simple beat with nothing more interesting going on musically, and some guy speaking cliched lyrics that don't put any new spin on it. I think one could try to make the case that hip hop is more sexist based on this trend: In metal songs about sex, the emphasis is usually on how much fun the sex is, and just having a good time, whereas in hip hop songs about sex, the focus seems more on bragging about the fact that they got sex. There's a bit more of a trophy thing going on there. But again, I don't want to generalize too much on a subject I'm largely ignorant of. The most I will say for sure is that with hip hop, I don't find it interesting musically, so it seems like it's lazily relying just on sex appeal to sell, which I find a bit pointless, although still not inherently offensive.
As for metal bands who sing about mutilation and such, obviously men and women alike can reasonably find them offensive and choose not to listen to them. For me personally, intent matters. I'm not too bothered myself because when I look at lyrics by someone like Cannibal Corpse, I can't take them seriously. I know they don't really go around doing the things they sing about. They just write offensive lyrics BECAUSE they're offensive. That's their thing. Shock value. I can't blame people for being offended, but I myself am not, because it's just a gimmick. They're playing characters, quite apart from whatever their personal beliefs might be. The number of such bands who actually believe in the offensive material they're writing is very small.
It's not really about whether or not the lyrics are offensive, actually. That's not my point. You're putting words in my mouth there, as I not only never said that, I never hinted at that, either.
You touched on it somewhat with your comment on hip hop. First of all, from an outsiders perspective, I'm sure the lyrical content of a lot of metal bands is much of the same, or at least someone not familiar with the genre will see it that way. I mean, the groups who really were
(or at least claimed to be) offended by either hip hop or metal lyrics, often argued, or still argue, the same things: "They're violent. The lyrical themes include sex. They have lyrics that objectify women," and so on. Songs like "Doggystyle" and "Entrails Ripped from a Virgin's Cunt" might account for 0.00000001% of all songs in each respective genre, but people who are not familiar with said genre, will, almost always, immediately focus on those (and subsequently, sales for both respective albums will go up, [or maybe downloads these days]).
Bringing up "She Goes Down" wasn't because I'm offended by the song, but rather because it is a cheap cliché relied on to sell records and exhibit some kind of dominant sexual prowess. They give blowjobs to get backstage passes, for example. It's like, one out of countless examples I could have used. Where did I say it was misogynistic or sexist to enjoy sexual favours? Is it automatically "being offended", if I demand better than tired, clichés and the madonna/whore dichotomy, then?
It's interesting how 2 Live Crew's album "As Nasty As They Wanna Be" was banned for playing on the same themes a lot of rock bands did in the 80s under the guise of "sex, drugs and rock & roll". I mean, "Appetite for Destruction" was critically acclaimed, when "Anything Goes" isn't much better, if at all. "Oh, but it's part of rock! They're just having fun!" Even though I don't like the guy, I remember an early interview with Marilyn Manson where he stated he was going to do everything he could to spawn the same reaction 2 Live Crew got, and see how long it took. We're still waiting.
My point is, it's not about being offended or not, but rather, metal isn't some self-contained genre immune from the same clichés that exist in exactly every form of music, and musical subculture, or society as a whole, even if it's championed as being inclusive, tolerant, and whatever else. Look at your subculture of choice critically? Demand better, maybe? Don't stick your head in the sand and accept boring clichés and lazy lyrics? Be a little self-reflective and self-critical?