Sounds like a good plan. I just found out that Kaiser has recently reinstated individual mental health care after psychiatrists threatened to strike over the amount of suicides that were occurring while people who weren't comfortable in group settings waited indefinitely to get care. You'd very likely literally be saving lives.

I sometimes take Alprazolam for the treatment of anxiety and I had a problem on a train.
I fell asleep on a train and woke up at Geneva Airport railway station and I had to go to Genève-Cornavin railway station.
Probably Alprazolam side effect (sleep). I only take this drug when I’m too anxious, for now, I’m fine.

That level of drowsiness has to be pretty rough. I used to work as a server at a sushi restaurant, and another server there took some similar manner of drug for her anxiety problems. Problem is it literally made her fall asleep standing up, often while interacting with customers...She was fired pretty quickly.

It's not a big deal. It cost me only 3 CHF (3 USD) to go to Cornavin station by train and it was a day off.
I was not very aware of possible side effect of alprazolam, now, I know. But I felt relaxed at the same time.

So today I met up with a metalhead friend of mine whom I haven't seen in some time. Basically the whole set up from going to the bar, ordering a drink, waiting around the people in the bar having a good time, and finally chatting to him for an hour or so - all of that boosted my communication skills really high. Apart from the occasional stammer and mumbling, I've never felt so relaxed talking to someone who wasn't a close family member in a long time. The inarticulate, anxious and stuttering fool in me, who has been possessing my body for the past five years or so, disappeared almost completely. Awesome. Doesn't sound like a big thing really, but combined with my recent interest in physical exercise, I feel so much less awkward and empty than before. Maybe I'll find it easy to flirt with girls (and actually be with someone to share THE real, deep feelings with one day) or to dick around with my schoolmates in the future, too.

I wasn't sure whether to post this here or somewhere else, because I haven't been actually diagnosed with anything, but what I just experienced felt like a part of a huge fucking mental (and to a certain extent physical) burden being slowly lifted and I feel it'll continue like this slowly but surely. For years now I've feared that speaking a little too loudly, too expressionately would get me rejected or even punished (even though that has RARELY happened before), but now it's fading.

This is probably gonna be my one of very few me-oriented posts in this forum by the way. I just had to say this because I feel so proud I could almost cry dammit. Also I really need to go to sle-*snore*

I've been working on this too. Steps forward here steps backwards there. It's a process but being conscious of it (which someone has pointed out here) is definitely the most important part. However, what I find to be fucking weird is I have almost the opposite experience with exercise, at least as of recent. I haven't lifted a weight in 5 months and have been eating like a somewhat typical American, and my confidence is through the roof. I'm definitely a lot rounder but for some odd reason I have a lot more faith in my social skills. I used to use one as the backbone of the other for some reason, but talking to people has become a lot more comfortable over the past few months. I feel better about women, too. Not much but way better than 5 months ago.

Definitely keep exercising, though. If I could find it inside of me I would (and I know I need to) but right now I have other priorities.

Just don't think about your social skills and you'll be fine. I've been into social anxiety therapy and the key point is that when you talk to someone, you focus on that person, not focus on yourself and "am I talking at the right volume?", "do I have a weird look?", "am I sweating too much?", "where should I keep my hands?", "does my voice sound secure?" etc, talking to someone isn't supposed to be about yourself so stop thinking about yourself, focus on the other person. Pretty simple and straight-forward.

Nonetheless, when you're not currently talking to someone, it actually can't hurt to do a bit of focusing on oneself, because some of those issues one thinks about actually might warrant thinking about, and in my case it did help my confidence to see a speech therapist so I actually open my mouth when talking, and switching deodorants so I don't have sweat running down my face. Probably doesn't make that huge a difference for people who talk to me, but for me it feels good for my confidence to have worked on myself and things that bothered me.

And yes, exercise falls into that category, too, not for the exercise itself or gaining a strapping body or whatever, mainly for the "core exercises" and neck exercises that improved my posture from shoulders hanging, head bent forward etc slouching to something more proud and confident. I thought I'd go to the gym for more muscles and better body etc, but it's the improvement in posture that actually did the most for my well-being. Maybe that's the thing for DeathcoreDecimator - if your posture is okay, maybe that's why not exerising anymore has no bad effect, the good effect in my opinion comes from keeping your head and shoulders up, if you've got that down, you've got nothing to gain from exercise except meeting some beauty ideals not everyone cares about.

My posture is fine for the most part. My back is a bit rounded but I've been actively trying to correct it for the past few years. I've made it a point to keep my chest out and my shoulders back since I was a toddler. I think the exercise was making me too much of a perfectionist and therefore feeding my anxieties outside of the gym. I'm the type of person where if I'm not eating a clean diet 24/7 and lifting on a focused regiment, I don't bother at all. I'll play a game of basketball here and there but I won't exercise seriously. When I finally learn to balance I feel like my mental state will follow suit.

More bullshit from the "War on Drugs": Kratom to be schedule I starting September 30.

Yup that's essentially what happened to me and it's a whole new sensation. I'll keep that in mind.



I realised this too, recently. Although my reasons for doing more exercises beyond that are not really appearance-oriented (not consciously so, anyways ). My main motivation was remembering myself when I was a fitter, more hyper kid, and how I felt much more agile and "free" with my physical movements (which is super fun), so it's more to do with just having better control of my body rather than looking sexy. Feeling like I can do more fun stuff, like dancing, running, or jumping around, without feeling so tired is super invigorating, y'know? Haha.

EDIT 2: durr typo

This is fantastic to read. Any step forward is great. Well done!

Yeah I saw that, in the UK too I think. It's utterly ridiculous, seeing as how Kratom is super effective in treating opiate addiction. Take into account America's over-prescription of opiates and the heroin problem that stems from it when people run out/can't get more scripts, and it's mind-boggling. Really time to end the "war" and legalize narcotics once and for all.

Good thing my mind continues to evolve in many ways, I even let spiders in my apartment live sometimes these days - and I just got rewarded for it, that fucking annoying crane fly from last night was taken care of and is now being eaten.

They don't want people to self-medicate, because where is the kickback to big pharma in ordering kratom off of the internet? They would rather have you tied to MMT or taking suboxone, paying hundreds out of pocket a month. All to simply still be hooked on opiates, only instead of waiting on a street corner for a dealer, you are waiting for the pharmacy to open in the morning. Still dopesick without your fix, the hamster wheel continues to turn...

Don't forget that it is also in the interests of the private prison industry and companies that benefit from prison labor for drug users to be in prison, so they can be effectively enslaved to produce cheap goods at rates competitive to outsourcing. Yay for capitalism!

I may start an internship working with HIV+ people with mental problems. They were described to me as "an intense demographic."

I totally get what you are saying and I think the move is overkill, but I should point out that kratom isn't risk-free. It is effectively an opioid and therefore addictive in the same ways that other opioids/opiates are, though significantly less. Whilst I don't think that is the reason behind the ban, addiction is still an issue with this stuff. I've known people addicted to kratom, and the negative impact on their lives were as distinct as the impact of heroin addiction on my own life.

I imagine a ban like this comes from capitalistic motivations as you mention, but also the puerile PC culture we have of diminished self-responsibility where the majority seem happy to outsource their decision making to the governments of the world. The biggest top dog.

Personally, I believe that addictive drugs do need to be restricted to a certain degree. I think people should be able to obtain drugs legally for their own use, but I do think there should be age limits and I am concerned about addictive drugs being available for anybody online. I have seen so few positive outcomes as a result of addictive substances in my life that I am extra wary. Opiate addiction is opiate addiction, its pretty much a lifelong relapsing condition. Still, opiates are available OTC in Australia where I live, and I freely admit to self-medicating with this shit and would hate to have this taken from me.

Full sympathy to any kratom addicts when this ban kicks in, there will be some pain to endure. Could be a good thing for some people. The increasing restrictions on codeine in Australia is useful in keeping me from ruining my insides entirely.

That's a good post, but I don't know of any newbie who decides to take kratom habitually out of nowhere and jump into opioids from that avenue. I guess it is possible, but highly unlikely. It is mainly used "recreationally" by people allaying a more serious habit, be it temporary or perpetually. Well, I'm sure you know that, but we are coming from two different regions here. For example, if codeine was over the counter like it used to be, I wouldn't have to truck up to the emergency room every two months when my back goes out just to get a dozen vicodin with no argument - every time. Then I get the emergency room bill in the mail a week later and it allll makes sense.

And yet, Australia is notorious for our/its notoriously strict drug laws. Despite having relatively mild sentences for most common drug offences the fact that you can be tested for weed and amphetamines simply driving your car is invasive. I totally do not support people driving when high, but these tests can pick up cannabis use from over a day ago. That's bullshit.

Do you find kratom does much for your back pain? And, stock up I suppose

I always thought that Australia was known for being real tough on their border protection, and I know they prosecute steroid dealers very strictly over there. Funny you say the USA has relatively mild sentences; the perception is much different over here.

Nah, kratom wouldn't touch it, tramadol/ultram doesn't even.

Just popped into this thread to have a quick squiz, but in some slightly brighter news, the petition to avoid scheduling kratom got enough signatures to warrant a response from the white house.

Obviously it won't do shit but it's still satisfying to see such significant opposition to the most transparently corrupt and unjustifiable aspects of the drug war.

Aromatherapy seems to be a pretty interesting subject. It's mainly sold for its kooky "the smell will heal you", but what comes with it is the practice of inhaling essential oils that actually have some scientic credence to their effect.

I do know that 'essential oils' get their name from being the essence of a plant's smell (not from being essential to one's health) and that because the oils are basically really concentrated chemicals found in plants they can cause allergic reactions.

Indeed, if you are allergic to the plant. Since my only allergy is to grass kind of plants, there's nothing for me to worry about. I've mainly started using peppermint oil in a dish with a tealight under it (I'm sure there's a name for it) for meteoropathy (nice word I just learned), to decent effect.

CV is getting better, I'm making my forklift license in two weeks and starting to study for an English certificate (IELTS), also starting on studying for my degree as a licensed therapist soon, while working full time, good thing there are correspondence courses.

Fun fact, currently information is coming out that health insurances are systematically pushing doctors to manipulate diagnoses, add diagnoses from a list wherever they can, to receive more money from a government fond. Schizophrenia, depression and personality disorders are among the list of 80 diagnoses that doctors are pushed to make so the health insurances are paid millions extra. It certainly explains the many cases of blatant misdiagnoses with no evidence I have come across in my life. The three I mentioned are handed out without much thinking or consideration. This causes severe negative consequences for the patients and can cause severe damage to their lives and hinder/prevent their proper treatment and recovery. I'm glad it is headline news here, but I still feel it to be underreported and wish it was recognised as the scandal it really is. Knowing many people who have been affected by this dirty practice, myself included, I know how much damage this shit can do.

After years of uphill battle against the German healthcare system that does everything to hinder your recovery and nothing to help it, I am glad there is at least a small part of information coming out about how it does so by design.

So I thought I'd finally share my story.
I suffer from Personality Disorder NOS (Not Otherwise Specified). I have Borderline traits.
I was severely emotionally abused by both my parents, particularly my mother. I was constantly invalidated and ignored by my parents and their behavior has really screwed me up. At one point, my mother ignored me continuously for one year. I have had nine inpatient admissions in a psychiatric hospital. What made things a hell of a lot worse and complicated was that the psychiatrists misdiagnosed me with Schizophrenia and eventually treatment-resistant Schizophrenia. Apparently to them, the abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents was a delusion of mine. Either it simply did not happen, or I was too pre-occupied with the abuse. In either case, I was considered to be paranoid, psychotic and delusional. The abuse I suffered was seen to be a delusion of mine. Basically the psychiatrists rubbed a hell of a lot of salt onto a very deep and painful emotional wound by telling me that my experience wasn't real and didn't even actually happen. I also went to a very old and under-funded public psychiatric hospital where there was no psychological support and no psychologist who could question me, talk to me, understand, validate, and document my experiences with my parents. During my fifth admission I was admitted to the long-term stay section of the hospital and lived there for two and a half years, of which one year I lived in a locked unit.

During my last admission, this time at a different psychiatric hospital, there was psychological support available and it has turned things right around. The diagnosis has been changed from treatment-resistant Schizophrenia to PD-NOS and I am currently not on any medication and actively engaged in talk therapy. Things are getting better.

Study material...

A friend of mine recently revealed to me that she thinks she's going crazy and is basically having a bit of a breakdown. Her relationship is on the fritz, she sees no joy in anything positive, she's "on guard" all the time, and she completely hates herself. She is not suicidal but admitted the ideation is there and said that "everyone would be happier if I wasn't here". I'm trying to help her as much as I can/she allows but it's hard not having the correct words or expressions for everything. She told me she needs to see someone so I recommended my old psychologist, so I think she's going to book in and see her.

Don't really need any guidance on this, but I just wanted to get that out.

I have some kind if anxiety disorder that can only be remedied by marijuana... Plenty of that shit going around so I'm good. Seriously though weed makes me feel so exalted in spirit. Without it I'm just another mundane. Like a gatekey to the top of the world. I need to move to where I can grow it for my self & say goodbye to hefty prices. Beer is good too but weed opens the creative mind the way nothing else can.

Clearly you don't have much experience with real drugs...

The edge is strong with this one.

As someone who also "has some sort of anxiety disorder that can only be remedied by marijuana", let me assure you that that disorder is marijuana addiction itself. I smoke weed around the clock and have been for more than 10 years now. I can't remember what my psyche was like before I started smoking (for the most part), but I do know I had little to no anxiety. Maybe all the weed isn't the sole cause. Maybe it isn't the cause at all. However, I'm willing to guess it would be no where near as severe if I didn't start smoking in the first place. Shit, most of my anxiety these days is directly the result of not being able to smoke at a certain moment in time or there being no dealers around.

Recently I've been handling my anxiety and depression well. This is due to a combination of improving my relationship with my father, finding passion in my hobbies, and most importantly moderating my substance abuse. I was drinking a pint of Henny a day and taking like 6 dabs. Granted I still smoke weed every day but it's not anything like the catatonic feeling dabs give you. I haven't touched liquor since August, instead drinking a six pack of craft beers over the course of the weekend. I'm willing to bet that the closer I get to sobriety, the happier I will be in the long run.

TLDR weed is bad okay

After two years of unemployment due to mental illness I'm about to attend a job interview in half an hour. It's part time and not exactly a very interesting job, but it's very convenient for me right now. Obviously no guarantee that I get it but I'm somewhat positive about it. Whether I get it or not, I hope that I keep the momentum going. Fingers crossed!

^ How did you go, mate?

Unemployment terminated.

I started with a "mini-job" last year, officially two hours a week. Then I went to part-time for a while. Now it's full-time since September. All that after many years of unemployment due to mental illness, and all jobs I found myself in classifieds and called myself et cetera. That's how I wanted to do things.

Government and job center did absolutely everything they could to try to prevent me from working or at least make it as impossible as they could. I'd still be in the same deep hole I was for many years if it was up to them. Two of my friends from the old days (I don't really talk to them anymore) went the way of trusting the government for their rehabilitation and they didn't move one inch forward in the five years I've known them.

Great news. Happy for you, mate.

Interesting thread. And a bit sad. Unfortunately I have my own struggles with anxiety which only get worse with age (what ailment doesn't?). However, I have a little information I picked up along the way I'd like to share. Take from it what you will.

There are potential natural cures not normally considered by the medical profession because all they do now is shill drugs. They are not trained to look at a natural cure. Naturopaths are, but not MDs. For example, a patient with lethargy, muscle cramps, especially in the lower limbs, migraines, an irregular heartbeat, constipation and general anxiety might get put on several prescription meds. Or a smart naturopath would recognize this as magnesium deficiency.

Magnesium is the most underrated mineral, I think, in terms of life. It supports transportation of food into cells for the production of energy. No magnesium, no energy. It also tells muscles to relax. Your muscles do two things: contract and relax. Your muscles are not capable of expanding or enlarging. Every movement you make with your body is a contraction. But it doesn't always release back into a relaxed state, especially without magnesium.

A deficiency of magnesium can result in a whole host of issues, including the ones I listed above. Magnesium makes your muscles relax, which relieves headaches, especially tension headaches, irregular heartbeat, cramps and spasms. It also makes your bowels move. Ask anyone who's had a colonoscopy. The day before they drink a liquid of pure high potency magnesium and shit their brains out. Magnesium in modest doses makes your bowels move normally.

But its real impact is on mental health. In a really outstanding book called "The Magnesium Miracle" by Carolyn Dean (a doctor), she points out that magnesium is needed for serotonin production, the "feel good" chemical that Prozac helps generate. Think about it, are you going to suffer from anxiety from a deficiency of Prozac or magnesium? She cites numerous studies that I won't go into here about people with anxiety and depression showing remarkable recovery just from increasing their magnesium intake.

We used to get enough from food, but farms today have depleted the soil of any nutrients. This has been known for decades that mass production farming has resulted in nutrient-deficient food. So you need to take a supplement. Plus, many things deplete magnesium in the body, chief among them adrenaline and sodas. Soda just sucks the magnesium out of you. If you are a Mountain Dew junkie playing crazy shooter games on XBox you are just draining yourself of magnesium. That's why you can't come down after a gaming session. I see kids living on energy drinks and weight lifting supplements with 200mg of caffeine. They will be in adrenal failure by the time they are 40.

I can't recommend that book enough. It's got a nice program for treating anxiety and depression using natural remedies, not chemicals that make you insane, dead on the inside, impotent, or all three.

The other supplement to consider is L-Tyrosine. Whereas magnesium increases serotonin levels, tyrosine increases dopamine levels. Dopamine is our motivation chemical. It makes people get up and go, rather than sit around listless. It also helps the body handle stress. I found it had quite an impact on me.

There is also L-Theanine. Some people swear by it, say it gives them a greater sense of calm. It did nothing for me. But it's worth googling to see if it can help you.

Hope this helps someone.

Instead of your regular chips, have unsalted cashews, pumpkin seeds, almonds, walnuts, sunflower seeds, almonds etc as a snack on the side. Your body will be swimming in magnesium. You also get your very important zinc and some of your very important iron. Get more iron by eating more fish. Supplements are barely absorbed by the body and you can get what you need from food if you just eat better.

These days you can buy direct juice with no additives from every supermarket, much better than soda. Mix it with water or a nice herbal tea (some of which have their own benefits) to reduce your sugar intake.