Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives

Message board

* FAQ    * Search   * Register   * Login 



Reply to topic  
Author Message Previous topic | Next topic
Flesh_Bag
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:42 pm
Posts: 30
PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:08 am 
 

I actually have alot of trouble leaving the house and being in public spaces, it effects just about everything from friends to shopping and paying bills, and work is a truly miserable experience. I plan on heading to the doctors on monday and potentially getting medicated.
I do have to say that coming across forum posts like this really does help and I wish the best for all of you.

Top
 Profile  
bloodycumshit
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:10 pm
Posts: 492
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 3:26 pm 
 

Flesh_Bag wrote:
I actually have alot of trouble leaving the house and being in public spaces, it effects just about everything from friends to shopping and paying bills, and work is a truly miserable experience. I plan on heading to the doctors on monday and potentially getting medicated.
I do have to say that coming across forum posts like this really does help and I wish the best for all of you.


i had all those problems,yeah get ya self to the doc.Pills will help,don't get the benzos they are shit and addictive .Don't be scared to get some counselling if they offer it to you too.
It will take about 3 weeks for you to actually notice a change in yourself from the pills,and if there is bad side effects like ya just cant seem to rub one out :lol: (a common side effect) there is a million different other pills to try with the same benefits

Top
 Profile  
Flesh_Bag
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:42 pm
Posts: 30
PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:49 pm 
 

bloodycumshit wrote:

i had all those problems,


So how are you doing now?

Like I can remember when things were normal and good and I want to get back there but I just dont know if thats possible.

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:12 am 
 

Flesh_Bag wrote:
I actually have alot of trouble leaving the house and being in public spaces, it effects just about everything from friends to shopping and paying bills, and work is a truly miserable experience. I plan on heading to the doctors on monday and potentially getting medicated.
I do have to say that coming across forum posts like this really does help and I wish the best for all of you.

Sounds like you've got agoraphobia, mate, but then you probably already know that. My mother has it, although she can easily leave the house these days.

Hopefully by getting medicated, you can start the healing process. It's a debilitating phobia and limits your life really bad.
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
slayerhatesusall
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:45 pm
Posts: 1804
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:19 am 
 

Flesh_Bag wrote:
I actually have alot of trouble leaving the house and being in public spaces, it effects just about everything from friends to shopping and paying bills, and work is a truly miserable experience. I plan on heading to the doctors on monday and potentially getting medicated.
I do have to say that coming across forum posts like this really does help and I wish the best for all of you.


Yeah I'm like that also, if I leave the house I often get bad anxiety. I tried taking 2 different SSRI's and both just made me feel worse with all their terrible side effects not to mention horrible brain zap withdrawals when I stopped taking them (even after tapering to the lowest amount possible over a period of 3 weeks) that lasted around 3 weeks each time. Even after stopping taking them it took about 6 months for my sex drive to recover. If I'm having a panic attack I take a xanax or two, but wouldn't recommend them on a daily basis as they are potentially dangerous to get addicted to, not to mention that if I take one even just for one day a week they usually give me rebound anxiety the day after taking them. And Xanax it makes me really dopey and tired just from taking one. Drinking a cup of Kava before going in public has helped me alot, works good for anxiety but isn't as strong as benzos, its not as debilitating as benzos, no rebound anxiety the day after taking it, non addictive, safe, and is really cheap.
_________________
Polygonum- New harsh noise ep Through the Cracks free to download

Top
 Profile  
bloodycumshit
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:10 pm
Posts: 492
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:21 am 
 

Flesh_Bag wrote:
bloodycumshit wrote:

i had all those problems,


So how are you doing now?

Like I can remember when things were normal and good and I want to get back there but I just dont know if thats possible.


Much better,it has been a long process of ups and downs.I have had quite a few psychology sessions,been through about four different types of medication,but am now on the right one.Over the years the bad periods of my anxiety and depression have slowly been getting out weighed by feeling normal.
It's weird ya think it's not possible,but that's why you feel like that in the first place "the way you automatically think",if ya get me.TRUST ME,you can get back to feeling normal again,it wont happen over night,but it will happen soon enough.You will also feel a shit load of weight off your shoulders just going to the doc and telling someone.
Also if you do get prescribed some pills ,give them a chance.Some times you might feel a bit weird(dizzy/sick/tired) in the first couple of weeks,but then you will get used to them and they will do wonders.

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:23 am 
 

bloodycumshit wrote:
It's weird ya think it's not possible,but that's why you feel like that in the first place "the way you automatically think",if ya get me.TRUST ME,you can get back to feeling normal again,it wont happen over night,but it will happen soon enough.You will also feel a shit load of weight off your shoulders just going to the doc and telling someone.

Absolutely. It's not an overnight quick-fix, but problems can be dealt with over time. Sometimes it's difficult to see that, as I have gone through, too.

It's good to hear that you're now feeling better, man. I hope to get like that with time and motivation, too.
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
bloodycumshit
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:10 pm
Posts: 492
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:30 am 
 

coming off ssri's can be a bit shit, but it beats the feeling of anxiety and not wanting to leave the house.I would listen to your doc over anyone on here when it comes to the meds

"slayerhatesyoual"l i would have to say your case must really rare? i have been on them for over ten years and known lots of people on them and rearely heard of symptoms that bad ,maybe just a couple online

Top
 Profile  
slayerhatesusall
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:45 pm
Posts: 1804
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 1:03 am 
 

bloodycumshit wrote:
coming off ssri's can be a bit shit, but it beats the feeling of anxiety and not wanting to leave the house.I would listen to your doc over anyone on here when it comes to the meds

"slayerhatesyoual"l i would have to say your case must really rare? i have been on them for over ten years and known lots of people on them and rearely heard of symptoms that bad ,maybe just a couple online


Ssri's just made my anxiety worse and made me more depressed, I felt like a zombie while on them. If they actually worked I would take them. Most of the side effects were annoying, but the worst one was the Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction they caused, since at least the other side effects went away eventually, even though the brain zaps from the withdrawal made me almost suicidal. It is still not back to normal but it has improved alot but it has been close to a year since I stopped taking them and I'm still not 100% back to normal. I've heard other people say it took them years to get their sex drive back to normal after taking them or not at all even in worse case scenarios. Taken from wikipedia:
"Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD)[1] is a name given to a reported iatrogenic sexual dysfunction caused by the previous use of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants. While apparently uncommon, it can last for months, years, or sometimes indefinitely after the discontinuation of SSRIs."
It wasn't that bad when I was taking Celexa, and it went away when I stopped taking that drug, but Prozac is the one that completely ruined it for a few months after not taking it.
So now I no longer blindly trust a doctor with whatever they prescribe me. Reading other peoples opinions online can be very useful in deciding what to/ what not to take, I found out about kava that way. The doctor that prescribed me those also wouldn't prescribe me Xanax or Adderall since he thought I would sell them, I couldn't believe he would say that to me, what a dick, I never sold drugs in my life, but I trusted him regardless since I thought the ssris might help. Plus their are alot of things that can help that doctors can't prescribe, like Kava.
I did eventually get Adderall from another doctor since I couldn't focus on anything good, but it didn't help, just made anxiety worse and didn't help focus, I think I just mistaked my aspgergers for adhd then.
_________________
Polygonum- New harsh noise ep Through the Cracks free to download

Top
 Profile  
bloodycumshit
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:10 pm
Posts: 492
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 1:44 am 
 

slayerhatesusall wrote:
bloodycumshit wrote:
coming off ssri's can be a bit shit, but it beats the feeling of anxiety and not wanting to leave the house.I would listen to your doc over anyone on here when it comes to the meds

"slayerhatesyoual"l i would have to say your case must really rare? i have been on them for over ten years and known lots of people on them and rearely heard of symptoms that bad ,maybe just a couple online


Ssri's just made my anxiety worse and made me more depressed, I felt like a zombie while on them. If they actually worked I would take them. Most of the side effects were annoying, but the worst one was the Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction they caused, since at least the other side effects went away eventually, even though the brain zaps from the withdrawal made me almost suicidal. It is still not back to normal but it has improved alot but it has been close to a year since I stopped taking them and I'm still not 100% back to normal. I've heard other people say it took them years to get their sex drive back to normal after taking them or not at all even in worse case scenarios. Taken from wikipedia:
"Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD)[1] is a name given to a reported iatrogenic sexual dysfunction caused by the previous use of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants. While apparently uncommon, it can last for months, years, or sometimes indefinitely after the discontinuation of SSRIs."
It wasn't that bad when I was taking Celexa, and it went away when I stopped taking that drug, but Prozac is the one that completely ruined it for a few months after not taking it.
So now I no longer blindly trust a doctor with whatever they prescribe me. Reading other peoples opinions online can be very useful in deciding what to/ what not to take, I found out about kava that way. The doctor that prescribed me those also wouldn't prescribe me Xanax or Adderall since he thought I would sell them, I couldn't believe he would say that to me, what a dick, I never sold drugs in my life, but I trusted him regardless since I thought the ssris might help. Plus their are alot of things that can help that doctors can't prescribe, like Kava.
I did eventually get Adderall from another doctor since I couldn't focus on anything good, but it didn't help, just made anxiety worse and didn't help focus, I think I just mistaked my aspgergers for adhd then.


sounds like you have had some shitty docters.The one i have at the mo wont prescribe benzo's to anyone.Also ya know kava fucks ya liver aye.Ya can buy kava in pill form or just buy the stuff to mix into a drink from the dairy over here,never really liked it,to be honest id rather just have a joint if i want a quick fix.
There's also another herbal anti depressant over hear called "saint john wart",i don't know to much about it ,but am planning to check it out,because i am planning to come off the pills in the next few months.

Top
 Profile  
slayerhatesusall
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:45 pm
Posts: 1804
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:27 am 
 

bloodycumshit wrote:

sounds like you have had some shitty docters.The one i have at the mo wont prescribe benzo's to anyone.Also ya know kava fucks ya liver aye.Ya can buy kava in pill form or just buy the stuff to mix into a drink from the dairy over here,never really liked it,to be honest id rather just have a joint if i want a quick fix.
There's also another herbal anti depressant over hear called "saint john wart",i don't know to much about it ,but am planning to check it out,because i am planning to come off the pills in the next few months.


I haven't tried st johns wort, but I have tried 5-htp, which is somewhat similar to ssris but with less side effects. It helped slightly more then the ssri's but not enough for it to be worth taking since it had some similar but less severe side effects compared with the ssris. One thing taking the 5-htp did though, was temporarily completely took away the Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction that I had, I assume this is because it boosted my serotonin was messed up due to the prozac and the boost from the 5-htp helped with that.
Kava root doesn't mess with the liver, you just have to avoid buying kava that has stems and leaves in it, if you use only the root its completely safe, I buy it from a great vendor so I don't have a problem with that. Another great herbal thing I really like is kratom leaf, it puts me in a great mood and gives me more energy and is cheap, its non toxic but it can be addicting, I eventually got addicted to it, for the first 5 months or so I felt great off it almost every day but after a while tolerance built up and I had to taper off it and quit and the w/ds weren't too fun to say the least. Not as bad as SSRI withdrawal though.
_________________
Polygonum- New harsh noise ep Through the Cracks free to download

Top
 Profile  
bloodycumshit
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:10 pm
Posts: 492
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:48 am 
 

slayerhatesusall wrote:
bloodycumshit wrote:

sounds like you have had some shitty docters.The one i have at the mo wont prescribe benzo's to anyone.Also ya know kava fucks ya liver aye.Ya can buy kava in pill form or just buy the stuff to mix into a drink from the dairy over here,never really liked it,to be honest id rather just have a joint if i want a quick fix.
There's also another herbal anti depressant over hear called "saint john wart",i don't know to much about it ,but am planning to check it out,because i am planning to come off the pills in the next few months.


I haven't tried st johns wort, but I have tried 5-htp, which is somewhat similar to ssris but with less side effects. It helped slightly more then the ssri's but not enough for it to be worth taking since it had some similar but less severe side effects compared with the ssris. One thing taking the 5-htp did though, was temporarily completely took away the Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction that I had, I assume this is because it boosted my serotonin was messed up due to the prozac and the boost from the 5-htp helped with that.
Kava root doesn't mess with the liver, you just have to avoid buying kava that has stems and leaves in it, if you use only the root its completely safe, I buy it from a great vendor so I don't have a problem with that. Another great herbal thing I really like is kratom leaf, it puts me in a great mood and gives me more energy and is cheap, its non toxic but it can be addicting, I eventually got addicted to it, for the first 5 months or so I felt great off it almost every day but after a while tolerance built up and I had to taper off it and quit and the w/ds weren't too fun to say the least. Not as bad as SSRI withdrawal though.


ahh drugs.....I hope to be drug free by the end of this year,save a bit of cannabis.I believe a lot of what makes me mentally ill these days is just in my diet.I don't eat that bad, but when i am tired from too much sugar or strung out from caffeine, i cant deal with anxiety issues very well at all .After two years off the drink and harder drugs i think i can say the ssri's have done all they can do.

Top
 Profile  
Buprenorphed
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 10:05 pm
Posts: 161
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 1:22 pm 
 

Ive struggled with mental health issues from quite a young age particularly bipolar and psychosis. I found it almost impossible to deal with due to my addiction/substance misuse issues making it all very difficult to work on. Not surprisingly it seems a lot of these issues were being aggravated if not outright caused by said chemical abuse (this started at a very young age too) .
I finally managed to clean up and now i have a chance to explore my mental health issues in a reasonable manner, i am glad that a lot of the symptoms i was medicated for are not present at this moment as i found it very hard to break my physical dependance to the basketfull of prescription drugs alone i was on so i would be very reluctant to go down that route again. I dont feel on top of the world but im not certifyable anymore either. Funnily enough now im finally 'in recovery' and living i was found to have arthritis, inflamatory bowel disease and being looked at for cancer (edit: and needed glasses :D turns out the world isnt just a naturally blurry place!) but personally i wouldnt put any of that under 'disabilities' ; now severe manic depression and straight up what-thefuck-isthis-shit psychosis is a different story so respect to anyone actually working through it responsibly, i genuinly wish youse best of luck :)

Top
 Profile  
693
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:55 am
Posts: 622
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 2:58 pm 
 

I have been a lot sick lately, and in general the last 2 years. All my blood tests come back normal. Everything. My doctor thinks I am depressed, but I say I am depressed because I feel like shit health wise. He wants to give me anti-depressants, but I don't see how that is the answer. And there is to many side-effects. I have been on both ritalin and anti-depressants in the past. Both worked at the time. But they fucked other shit up. Ritalin was the best one, as I slept good at night and got in pretty good shape. But they changed my personality and I got less creative.

I really don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I am Isolating myself because I have to get School work done. But I never have any energy or will to do any of it. I am actually considering trying something like adderall, maybe it will help me, I don't know.

Top
 Profile  
mindshadow
Echoes in an empty cranium

Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:36 am
Posts: 1966
Location: Panopticon
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:00 pm 
 

^ how about light exercise? just walking even, or sitting quietly concentrating on your breath going in and out?
How about getting a pet? something that relies on you to feed and look after it? Maybe visit an animal shelter, volunteer to play with a cat for a few hours a week waiting for a home?

Looking after something would take you mind of things. I went through a few years when I didn't have any energy, and forcing myself to exercise for 20 minutes a day was the best thing I did, now it just feels natural to exercise and it keeps my mood positive.

Don't eat too much sugary food/drinks.

I think (especially) the ages from 13-18 can be hard (they were for me).
_________________
Outgunned, outnumbered, though never outclassed

Top
 Profile  
693
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:55 am
Posts: 622
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:25 pm 
 

I walk a lot. All the time actually. I buy six-packs with the 1,5 ltr. water bottles and carry them across town, so I get to move a lot. I eat extremely healty, a lot of fruit, vegetables and a lot of fiber and fish. I eat little sugar. I actually didn't eat any candy at all last year, and nothing so far this year either.

I can't get a pet where I live now, as it is not allowed. I have been trying to get a gym membership, but they have some stupid debit card rules that don't cover my card.

I am in my mid twenties by the way.

I guess I just have to talk more to the doctor.

Top
 Profile  
Xeogred
Thunderbolt from Hell

Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006 11:28 pm
Posts: 6122
Location: Valhalla
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:46 pm 
 

I guess I can post a little update here since it's been a few weeks now... as I suggested earlier in the thread I was going to put myself back on meds for ADD to see what that does with my depression/anxiety junk, and I think it could definitely be what I need. Had half a script left of adderall IR 15mg, I'm going to see my doctor again soon and go for the XR and maybe ask for a bit of a higher dose, plus I work 10 hour shifts so that'll help, with the IR I've been taking two pills a day the last few weeks. One at 9am, then another around 3pm.

A large majority of the side effects have already worn off, but here's what I've experienced in these short few weeks:
- Horny as hell the first day or two, along with the erectile dysfunction crap though. Went away quickly though.
- Extremely spacey the first week after the stuff wore off, definitely the thing about adderall... the dips can be insanely bad. I hear it can make you feel even more depressed at first, but it was just weird for me. I was just completely out of it and kind of sat around doing nothing, no negative thoughts, was just kind of blank. Went away after the first week or so. The dips midday during work though were incredibly bad (~2pm before I took my second dose), I think one day that first week or so I had to go to the bathroom a few times just to sit down and gather my thoughts and keep cool. So that was intense, but that's pretty much completely gone away now.
- Insomnia, definitely one of the worst side effects with meds like these. But I was at my breaking point and was willing to put up with this. It's gotten better and I've been taking NyQuil to help sleep off and on anyways, got a lot of allergies going on this time of the year so that helps a lot (melatonin, supplements, etc, nothing else really helps me when it comes to sleep).
- Physically it makes me a bit shakier than normal sometimes but I also don't notice it. It's really weird, but without the meds or on xanax this was something I was always extremely conscious about. On adderall, I don't really notice it or think about it.
- My appetite isn't as bad as it was when I first tried adderall a few years back, but it's still not perfect either. For some reason it makes bread/meat taste pretty nasty, but I just deal with it and still put food down. I've still been able to do my usual three meals a day and about two snacks, so it hasn't been a huge issue. My diet has slipped a little though, I have no idea why but the stuff makes me crave cereal a lot at night after it's worn out a bit.

The good news, and hopefully the case for me, is that I hear people on XR have far less issues with everything above and most side effects in general. It's a slower jolt and dive too. So yeah I'm really hoping it works even better.

Anyways I'm sticking with it because it's really doing some work on my anxiety and depression a bit. My mood is way better lately, even on days I only take it once or hours after it's worn off, I feel a lot better than I normally would have. I'm a lot more social with my roommate and just everyone in general. I also can't emphasis how much it's helping with stress, working full time at a mail order pharmacy you can imagine how much bull shit and drama goes on in such a place... and unlike xanax which kind of feels like it'll slip you into more of a depressive state, with adderall it's just like... I'm not even bothering to waste my time dwelling on things or letting the smallest things get to me, but also not feeling negative about it. If that makes sense. And yeah after I started these meds up again, I have since then gotten a lot of chores and things done around the place or with my life that I've been meaning to take care for awhile. My thought process has been very different, I'm not bogged down by all these ideas or things I want to do, but rather planning and organizing things out and getting them done. Certainly hard to explain, but maybe my mom said it best, it's -motivation- coming back.

The only thing is when I don't take it, like on a weekend day or something, I feel pretty shitty. Not depressed, but just totally out of it, like today (admittedly kind of hung over haha).

Anyways as always you never know what works for you, but yeah I think I have to accept I probably do have some big ADD / inattentive issues going on that I need to control, so this is the path I'll take this year and see how life goes.

I think the only major battle will be working out. I've been wanting to consistently work out for a few years now and get a routine down. Although adderall is giving me all this motivation, the stuff just really riles up you internally, so it can make you wear out faster than normal. I think a few weeks back when I was bringing in groceries up to my apartment it was a lot harder than it used to be. I haven't noticed this as much anymore, but I can kind of tell I'll probably have to schedule my doses around exercising and manage them separately. But yeah, again hopefully the XR minimizes most of the issues.

I was off and on xanax for the last two years or so, but yeah it was getting pretty bad again towards the end of the year there last year. Also probably worth noting though, but I figure dropping the xanax is why my first week on adderall was so hard, since benzo withdrawal can be an utter nightmare. But yeah, about ~3 weeks xanax free now and going strong, like I said above ... even when adderall wears off now I don't feel like I need anything for help at all and can function/socialize better than I was throughout last year. So I'm done with that shit! :nods:

Top
 Profile  
693
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:55 am
Posts: 622
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:56 pm 
 

That sounds great man, I am happy for you. Maybe I shall ask my doctor about Adderall.

Top
 Profile  
bloodycumshit
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:10 pm
Posts: 492
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 1:22 am 
 

Everybody moan's about side effects and coming off anti - depressant's,but there's soo many different types on the market,eventually you are going to find the one that works for you.I always hear people say that they tried anti depressant's and they don't work,they just gave bad side effects.Then i when asked how many type's they have tried they say one or two,and usually haven't taken them long enough to work properly.

As for benzo's,they shouldn't be so easy to get.A lot of places don't allow them to be prescribed,for good reason too.

Top
 Profile  
FrizzySkernip
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 8:11 pm
Posts: 133
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:16 am 
 

Almost out of my current brand of antidepressants now, I think it's Celexa (40mg). Helps with my anxiety and depression, but it really cuts my sex drive down, which sucks.

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 3:11 am 
 

Xeogred wrote:
I guess I can post a little update here since it's been a few weeks now...

Great news, buddy. Anxiety and depression suck, so it's good you've found something that works for you. :)
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
Gelseth_Andrano
Veteran

Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:22 pm
Posts: 2692
Location: Dekalb, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:29 am 
 

I've actually been depressed for quite a long time now. It's kind of hazy as far as where it started, but I think it's been about two years, maybe three, I've lost track. I actually got pretty close to offing myself one morning, but my attempt got foiled. Basically, I felt like just total shit for a very long time; about myself, life, work, what have you, but it seems to have just devolved into total apathy towards everything. I'm broke, my car died on me, and I've got to find a new place to live (which I may have hopefully taken care of soon), but I just don't really care. I spend every penny I get (and I make a damn good living for a single 23 year-old with no dependants) on booze, cigarettes, food, new clothes, just trying to have as much fun as I can, but I feel the same every single day. At the same time, I feel overwhelmed by the things I have to do. The most emotion I ever really feel is in dreams, and it leaves me almost more drained than I do already, like feeling in my dreams costs me something. They're usually dreams about love. Anyway, has anyone been through something similar? I'm wondering if apathy can be cause by depression, or what have you. Sometimes I'm worried that I might be turning into a sociopath.

Do you guys think this is something that I should go to the doctor for? I haven't tried harming myself or anything like that since that initial time, so I don't think I'm in danger, but I'm just kind of tired of feeling like this all of the time. I'm thinking I might give some anti-depressants a whirl.
_________________
ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
i'm powered by blast beats and distortion.

The_Beast_In_Black wrote:
I touch ladies all the time.
Ladies can't get enough of my touchings

Top
 Profile  
inhumanist
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 4137
Location: 50 Forts Along The Rhine
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:10 am 
 

Well you should certainly do something about it. That doesn't sound like a stable way of living at all. Talking to a doctor is probably not a bad idea.

Apathy is definitely linked to depression, as depression can make you feel like nothing really matters (which I do experience from time to time), and the existential realization that in the end nothing does matter can probably make you depressive too (but I think it's usually the other way round).
_________________
Celtic Frosted Flakes wrote:
Compared to how it is here in Sweden, fascism sounds like paradise.
Metantoine wrote:
If Summoning is the sugar of fantasy metal, is Manowar the bacon?

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:16 am 
 

Gelseth_Andrano wrote:
I've actually been depressed for quite a long time now. It's kind of hazy as far as where it started, but I think it's been about two years, maybe three, I've lost track. I actually got pretty close to offing myself one morning, but my attempt got foiled. Basically, I felt like just total shit for a very long time; about myself, life, work, what have you, but it seems to have just devolved into total apathy towards everything. I'm broke, my car died on me, and I've got to find a new place to live (which I may have hopefully taken care of soon), but I just don't really care. I spend every penny I get (and I make a damn good living for a single 23 year-old with no dependants) on booze, cigarettes, food, new clothes, just trying to have as much fun as I can, but I feel the same every single day. At the same time, I feel overwhelmed by the things I have to do. The most emotion I ever really feel is in dreams, and it leaves me almost more drained than I do already, like feeling in my dreams costs me something. They're usually dreams about love. Anyway, has anyone been through something similar? I'm wondering if apathy can be cause by depression, or what have you. Sometimes I'm worried that I might be turning into a sociopath.

Do you guys think this is something that I should go to the doctor for? I haven't tried harming myself or anything like that since that initial time, so I don't think I'm in danger, but I'm just kind of tired of feeling like this all of the time. I'm thinking I might give some anti-depressants a whirl.

Depression leads to apathy. I have occasionally suffered so much depression that the next step is apathy, and that is sometimes a worse feeling because you're so burnt out on emotions that you simply don't care anymore, about anything. That can lead to loss of friends, dismay at work, disinterest in your hobbies, and even physically you feel lethargic, tired, and it can lead to medical problems.

In short, I believe you've transcended depression!

I hate the apathetic feelings, and if you say it's been going on for a couple of years, then yes, I would see a doctor sooner rather than later. They might refer you to a psychologist, or put you straight on anti-depressants. Whatever they do, it's got to be better than what you're currently experiencing, right?
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4861
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:20 am 
 

You can't TURN into a sociopath, so don't worry about that. Plus that's not what a sociopath consists of. Anyways, the apathy can get pretty bad but it's not full apathy if you're tired of feeling like that so that's a good thing. Definitely see someone, good luck.
_________________
lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

Top
 Profile  
Gelseth_Andrano
Veteran

Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:22 pm
Posts: 2692
Location: Dekalb, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:20 am 
 

Thanks for listening guys, I appreciate it. I'll definitely see if I can get some professional help soon, maybe help out a bit. It's definitely time for a change, and has been for a while.
_________________
ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
i'm powered by blast beats and distortion.

The_Beast_In_Black wrote:
I touch ladies all the time.
Ladies can't get enough of my touchings

Top
 Profile  
mindshadow
Echoes in an empty cranium

Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:36 am
Posts: 1966
Location: Panopticon
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:19 am 
 

I've experienced most of the feelings described above. As to "offing" myself, never considered it - a permanent solution to an often temporary problem. Plus the older you get your perception of time changes, when your a teen, time seems to drag and all your problems are much more exaggerated. Comparing ourselves with what others have got doesn't help, thinking we to should have a big house, big car and lovely wife, for everyone you see like this there are probably more without - yet we think everyone is doing better than us.

I read a book once and it changed my life, I've heard people say that and I've always thought "bollocks :roll:" but this one really did because it explained to me how things really are, most of you won't be impressed (it was a book by the founder of zen), to me it's not a book about buddhism but understanding our world - you sometimes find the help you need where you least expect it, I guess is what I'm saying.

Don't take medication unless you really have to, yes some need it to function properly, many, I believe, just need a way of changing their outlook, it comes a lot with age, and when you look back oneday you'll be saddened that you ever considered "getting out" at such a young age.

A while ago I delivered some groceries to a young girl in a house for people who needed 24 hr care. She had tubes to her face and her body was very frail (I'm guessing she was 18 though she could've been older). I was trying my best to be as polite and friendly as I could, when I looked at her eyes they were filled with such sadness, and something else a young person should not know. Her look shook me up, as if she was thinking - I'd give anything just to walk like you take for granted.
You cannot see a persons depression and it's easy to tell them there's always someone worse off, that's not what i'm trying to do, but whatever I feel sometimes I now feel grateful I can move about normally and change my surroundings for a while.
_________________
Outgunned, outnumbered, though never outclassed

Top
 Profile  
Necessitarian
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:20 am
Posts: 147
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:56 am 
 

mindshadow wrote:
a permanent solution to an often temporary problem.

Why do people say this like it's a bad thing? Isn't a permanent solution a great solution?

Top
 Profile  
MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 7:26 am 
 

Uh, how is it a great solution? Read the rest of his post and he explains it perfectly well. Not to say that depression victims simply need to "get over it" or see the logic in things (because as someone who was once depressed I can safely say there was never any logic involved in my desires to die), but he's right - from a logical standpoint, it's like stopping people from barging into your house by gluing the doors shut from the inside.
_________________
Guitarpro77889 wrote:
which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

Top
 Profile  
Necessitarian
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:20 am
Posts: 147
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 7:31 am 
 

I'm not talking about suicide, just the expression; people seem to think it makes sense. If you have a problem and a choice between two solutions, one temporary and the other permanent, it would seem to make sense to go with the permanent one.

Top
 Profile  
693
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:55 am
Posts: 622
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:58 pm 
 

I know that this question is of personal opinion, but is there any anti-depressants that are best avoided?

Top
 Profile  
soul_schizm
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:55 am
Posts: 628
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:50 am 
 

This is a great discussion and I want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences.

About a year ago I had a mild case of depression. One of the things I found disheartening was the fact that my health plan funneled me to a counselor that I just didn't mesh with. I tried a few others from the same place, but no luck.

I really think it's important to find the right chemistry with someone if you are going to share your deepest feelings. It's kind of hard to do when you are starting out with complete strangers...

Anyway, eventually I got some decent help, but I went away from the experience feeling empty about it. I could have gone outside my care network, but my insurance would not have covered it so I just did what I could and got by. If I ever feel that way again, I think I am going to look for someone outside my coverage, in spite of the additional cost.

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:53 am 
 

soul_schizm wrote:
About a year ago I had a mild case of depression. One of the things I found disheartening was the fact that my health plan funneled me to a counselor that I just didn't mesh with. I tried a few others from the same place, but no luck.

I really think it's important to find the right chemistry with someone if you are going to share your deepest feelings. It's kind of hard to do when you are starting out with complete strangers...

I got lucky and meshed with the first therapist I tried, but for some people it can take a few to find someone you desire to talk to. Keep looking (if you're still doing that), and you'll find someone you click with. :)
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
SatanicPotato
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:52 pm
Posts: 1621
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:33 am 
 

what i noticed about my depression is the more isolated i am the worse it gets, depression is really a horrible disease i remember when i had it and was thinking about death 90% of the time i was awake it was not a fun time and still get it from time to time its become much more mainstream with many sporting stars talking about it along with metal genres such as suicidal black metal and the government is much more focused on it in recent years(in Australia anyways)

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:15 am 
 

SatanicPotato wrote:
what i noticed about my depression is the more isolated i am the worse it gets

Socialising is a great way to rid depression, but it goes against the flow of what we want. You have to force yourself to go out and be around people, and that's sometimes the hardest thing to do.

SatanicPotato wrote:
depression is really a horrible disease i remember when i had it and was thinking about death 90% of the time i was awake it was not a fun time

Yeah, I had this, too. Negative thoughts all the time, which I still suffer from. Sorry to hear that, man.
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
SatanicPotato
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:52 pm
Posts: 1621
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:07 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
SatanicPotato wrote:
what i noticed about my depression is the more isolated i am the worse it gets

Socialising is a great way to rid depression, but it goes against the flow of what we want. You have to force yourself to go out and be around people, and that's sometimes the hardest thing to do.

SatanicPotato wrote:
depression is really a horrible disease i remember when i had it and was thinking about death 90% of the time i was awake it was not a fun time

Yeah, I had this, too. Negative thoughts all the time, which I still suffer from. Sorry to hear that, man.

i agree socialising is an extremely hard thing to do when your in that mindset i just forced myself into those situations and thanks to football(soccer) i am passionate supporter of my team which means i have to meet new people and go out so its great how one thing can force you to go out and give you something to look forward to

i still suffer from negative thoughts but its way better than it used to be so i am very lucky for that hopefully things improve for you due to social anxiety its not easy for me to talk in front of people but i remember about 6 months ago i spoke voluntary in front of about 300 people so i was happy with that, i study mental health at tafe and really interested in helping others because i know how bad it can get but i am very lucky things have improved

good luck to everyone with any problems things can improve

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:19 am 
 

SatanicPotato wrote:
i agree socialising is an extremely hard thing to do when your in that mindset i just forced myself into those situations and thanks to football(soccer) i am passionate supporter of my team which means i have to meet new people and go out so its great how one thing can force you to go out and give you something to look forward to

i still suffer from negative thoughts but its way better than it used to be so i am very lucky for that hopefully things improve for you due to social anxiety its not easy for me to talk in front of people but i remember about 6 months ago i spoke voluntary in front of about 300 people so i was happy with that, i study mental health at tafe and really interested in helping others because i know how bad it can get but i am very lucky things have improved

good luck to everyone with any problems things can improve

Sounds like you're on the improve, man, which is great. I still suffer depression, anxiety, and negative thoughts. My blood pressure is in hypertension range and I do believe that's (partly) because of my anxiety. I certainly don't want to have a heart attack or a stroke. Negative thinking is so detrimental, and CBT is a good way to combat that, although it's a long and frustrating journey.

Great work speaking in front of 300 people. That is such a foreign concept for me. Yikes.

I would also like to study psychology/mental health, either at Tafe or University. It's something I'm interested in and I think I would enjoy learning more about the human brain and how our emotions control us in that way. Considering it's something I'm currently experiencing, it makes me that much more intrigued.
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
SatanicPotato
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:52 pm
Posts: 1621
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:46 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
SatanicPotato wrote:
i agree socialising is an extremely hard thing to do when your in that mindset i just forced myself into those situations and thanks to football(soccer) i am passionate supporter of my team which means i have to meet new people and go out so its great how one thing can force you to go out and give you something to look forward to

i still suffer from negative thoughts but its way better than it used to be so i am very lucky for that hopefully things improve for you due to social anxiety its not easy for me to talk in front of people but i remember about 6 months ago i spoke voluntary in front of about 300 people so i was happy with that, i study mental health at tafe and really interested in helping others because i know how bad it can get but i am very lucky things have improved

good luck to everyone with any problems things can improve

Sounds like you're on the improve, man, which is great. I still suffer depression, anxiety, and negative thoughts. My blood pressure is in hypertension range and I do believe that's (partly) because of my anxiety. I certainly don't want to have a heart attack or a stroke. Negative thinking is so detrimental, and CBT is a good way to combat that, although it's a long and frustrating journey.

Great work speaking in front of 300 people. That is such a foreign concept for me. Yikes.

I would also like to study psychology/mental health, either at Tafe or University. It's something I'm interested in and I think I would enjoy learning more about the human brain and how our emotions control us in that way. Considering it's something I'm currently experiencing, it makes me that much more intrigued.

thank you very much i have good moments and i have bad moments the difference is my life isnt one constant bad time like it used to be, i do suffer both anxiety, depression and negative thoughts though the negative thoughts are brought on by depression and social anxiety but its all good way better than things used to be and thank you hope things get better for you

fighting depression and anxiety can be really frustrating i have done it since i was about 6 years old and it just gets frustrating fighting the same thing over and over but it made me a stronger person and i know i can rid myself of depression so things can get better and there are positives also i tried a bit of CBT and self help tapes(listened to one with a ex of sorts in her car) and currently speaking ot a psychologist so trying to attack depression in as many ways as i can

thank you something i didnt know at the time but i was actually speaking in front of one of my childhood sporting hero's at the time but lucky i was unaware because i doubt i could have done it then but later i was taking the train there was an attractive girl that sat next to me and there were many seats free but she sat next to me and i froze and couldn’t speak to her so i could speak in front of 300 people but not to one girl i love learning about anything to do with the brain its fascinating stuff and imo its very rewarding to help others but that kinda job would be very draining at times so i'll see what happens

the human mind is very strong so i do believe most people can overcome any mental illness though its never easy

Top
 Profile  
MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 2:29 am 
 

SatanicPotato wrote:
thank you very much i have good moments and i have bad moments the difference is my life isnt one constant bad time like it used to be, i do suffer both anxiety, depression and negative thoughts though the negative thoughts are brought on by depression and social anxiety but its all good way better than things used to be and thank you hope things get better for you

fighting depression and anxiety can be really frustrating i have done it since i was about 6 years old and it just gets frustrating fighting the same thing over and over but it made me a stronger person and i know i can rid myself of depression so things can get better and there are positives also i tried a bit of CBT and self help tapes(listened to one with a ex of sorts in her car) and currently speaking ot a psychologist so trying to attack depression in as many ways as i can

thank you something i didnt know at the time but i was actually speaking in front of one of my childhood sporting hero's at the time but lucky i was unaware because i doubt i could have done it then but later i was taking the train there was an attractive girl that sat next to me and there were many seats free but she sat next to me and i froze and couldn’t speak to her so i could speak in front of 300 people but not to one girl i love learning about anything to do with the brain its fascinating stuff and imo its very rewarding to help others but that kinda job would be very draining at times so i'll see what happens

the human mind is very strong so i do believe most people can overcome any mental illness though its never easy

There's good moments...but as you're probably aware, they can be whisked away by bad moments in an instant. CBT, therapy, and so on are great ways to rid yourself of social anxiety and depression.

You've been fighting depression longer than I have. Mine started at the age of 14, so I've been fighting it for nearly 13 years now, which is still a long time, even though it's nothing compared to you.

It's truly amazing how the human mind functions: you can talk in front of 300 people, but one girl is impossible because there's more emotion involved. A job of a psychologist would be draining, but I think I still would want to have a go.
_________________
On cocaine, ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I never did it and you did. I'm automatically better and a better judge of intelligence.
My collection

Top
 Profile  
bloodycumshit
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:10 pm
Posts: 492
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 2:58 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
i love learning about anything to do with the brain its fascinating stuff and imo its very rewarding to help others but that kinda job would be very draining at times so i'll see what happens
.


It's fucking amazing.I had this chick psychologist once,i would go in to there so fucking low ,100% positive that she would not be able to understand my self hatred,hate and rage against this stupid fucking world and my strong thought's of suicide and then, after a few simple questions and answers, i would feel as if i was just emerging my head out of the water and taking my first breaths after a near death drowning.

I think it would be amazing to learn how to know the mind so well you could do that.I don't think it would be as draining as you would think if you were good at your job.

Top
 Profile  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: MSNbot Media and 12 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Back to the Encyclopaedia Metallum


Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group