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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 7991
Location: Elgin, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:36 pm 
 

So we continue with the strained Judas Priest puns. You all know the rules:

1) Don't be an idiot.

2) Seriously don't be an idiot.

That's all, and remember not to be an idiot. It gives Zodi uncontrollable shakes.
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Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: Gorod - A Maze of Recycled Creeds

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rexxz
Retired my ass!

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 10706
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:37 pm 
 

*farts*
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Hexenkraft - diabolical cyberpunk darksynth

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 7991
Location: Elgin, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:37 pm 
 

rexxz has been banned.

NO MERCY.
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Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: Gorod - A Maze of Recycled Creeds

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 8736
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:39 pm 
 

I guess you could say you retired his ass.
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"No cat food and a toe knife out the window?! I mean, what am I doin'? Puttin' on airs because I got company?" || Last.fm | Discogs | BOINC

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Erosion of Humanity
Magic Mike Jr.

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 4903
Location: Schaumburg, Il
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:40 pm 
 

Dear god who put BastardHead in charge?
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Man is truly a wretched thing, and the forest is committed to expunging him from existence.

Margaret Atwood wrote:
War is what happens when language fails.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11657
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:44 pm 
 

Who better epitomizes the FFA than he?
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MorbidBlood wrote:
So the winner is Destruction and Infernal Overkill is the motherfucking skullcrushing poserkilling satan-worshiping 666 FUCK YOU greatest german thrash record.

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rexxz
Retired my ass!

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 10706
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:46 pm 
 

And here I thought he was just Free For Me. What a whore.
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Hexenkraft - diabolical cyberpunk darksynth

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stainedclass2112
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2333
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:47 pm 
 

Splained Class

Oh ya bud.
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UltraBoris wrote:
In short... the universe is a midget, and this album rapes it so hard that Stephen Hawking learns how to walk again. And that's all I have to say about that.

Latest bass covers: Blind Guardian - Trial By the Archon/Wizard's Crown

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8241
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:51 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
rexxz has been banned.

NO MERCY.

Actually, everyone - idiots and geniuses and everyone in between - farts.

Though I'm not entirely sure about Stephen Hawking because I don't know that much about his condition.
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http://blacktribesucks.bandcamp.com/ - Experimental black metal
http://alphadrone.bandcamp.com/ - Atmospheric doom metal

We all secretly loved Wesley Crusher.

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 9027
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:19 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
Actually, everyone - idiots and geniuses and everyone in between - farts.

Though I'm not entirely sure about Stephen Hawking because I don't know that much about his condition.

If he does, you can bet your non-retired ass it certainly isn't intentional.
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Chest wounds suck (when properly inflicted).
-Butch-

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Zodijackyl
Parochial Nimrod

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 6642
Location: The lavender house
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:20 pm 
 

Long ago, when Mike was king, his heart was clean, now he's 'splained class.
Time released? This untouched thing? So now he's just a 'splained class king.
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AboveTheThrone wrote:
Trust me -- I've done a lot of online dating and whatnot and I can tell when a chick is trying to use me for something.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8241
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:22 pm 
 

This is probably super old, but the funniest video I've seen on YouTube in a long time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_SOxaYgMRA
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http://blacktribesucks.bandcamp.com/ - Experimental black metal
http://alphadrone.bandcamp.com/ - Atmospheric doom metal

We all secretly loved Wesley Crusher.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 4235
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:25 pm 
 

I still think Strained Ass was better.

Especially considering the word diarrhea that will inevitably plague this thread. :P
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I kill fun with words.
Need4Power wrote:
If you want to argue the point with me then go ahead. I've been there, I've done it, and I know what I'm talking about.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8241
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:27 pm 
 

You just reminded me to take my imodium. Thanks!
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http://blacktribesucks.bandcamp.com/ - Experimental black metal
http://alphadrone.bandcamp.com/ - Atmospheric doom metal

We all secretly loved Wesley Crusher.

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MonumentalBlackArt
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2014 12:04 am
Posts: 1797
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:41 pm 
 

I've now outlived 2 FFA's. Nice. I even got onto the first page. Nicer.

Also I took a political alignment test and ended up in the upper left-hand quadrant. I'm a goddamn commie. :(

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Earthcubed
The Great Fearmonger

Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:44 am
Posts: 3667
Location: eccaira nare epë Anar
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:33 pm 
 

Those political alignment tests really don't tell you anything. They leave no room for pragmatism and assume policies are always purely dichotomous rather than the messy result of bargaining and having to find something that works in the real world.

This is probably my 16th Free-For-All thread but might be the first wherein I post on page 1. So hurray!
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iamntbatman wrote:
On Friday I passed an important milestone in my teaching career: a student shat himself

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
like a prehistoric cabbage with a whale boner

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8241
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:42 pm 
 

Speaking of politics, who was the last prime minister of Israel to not be convicted or persecuted of some crime or another?
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http://blacktribesucks.bandcamp.com/ - Experimental black metal
http://alphadrone.bandcamp.com/ - Atmospheric doom metal

We all secretly loved Wesley Crusher.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 4235
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:45 pm 
 

How 'bout we don't start this thread off with the awful trifecta of religion, politics or sex, hmm?
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I kill fun with words.
Need4Power wrote:
If you want to argue the point with me then go ahead. I've been there, I've done it, and I know what I'm talking about.

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rexxz
Retired my ass!

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 10706
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:45 pm 
 

But that sounds fun.
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Hexenkraft - diabolical cyberpunk darksynth

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Sepulchrave
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 7:29 pm
Posts: 1122
Location: Die Trauerhöhle
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:50 pm 
 

Yeah, gotta say the FFA was much more prone to other topics before the whole presidential election thing happened. Like food.

...
*checks watch*
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Metantoine wrote:
"proge"? Much wow, so shred.

stainedclass2112 wrote:
"Walk" is the most brutally intense and insane thrash song of all time! Plus, if you play it on 2x speed, you unlock the hard mode version, which is called "Run".

Ку.

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rexxz
Retired my ass!

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 10706
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:51 pm 
 

Well I tried posting some cool John Carpenter inspired synth music in the last FFA but no one said anything because everyone here is mean.
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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11657
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:54 pm 
 

Damn, adblock usually gets those.
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MorbidBlood wrote:
So the winner is Destruction and Infernal Overkill is the motherfucking skullcrushing poserkilling satan-worshiping 666 FUCK YOU greatest german thrash record.

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iAm
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 6247
Location: Waco, Texas
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:03 pm 
 

Hey, there's a new FFA. Neato.
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Empyreal wrote:
Yup, they ripped off Metal Church. Now that you've solved that mystery, Metallica is now dethroned from their place in metal history and will be safely forgotten forever. Good job!

I hate music

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henkkjelle
Veteran

Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:54 pm
Posts: 3519
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:12 pm 
 

At the start of the late XVI I promised myself to listen to more Judas Priest. Two years later and I have yet to finish a full Priest album. So me not getting this pun either does not come as a suprise.
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It creeps along in shadows on the hill.

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PDS
The Young One

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:04 pm
Posts: 1269
Location: A forest on an island!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:27 pm 
 

It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.
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Shadechaser wrote:
But all of them dim and fade 'cause the man named PDS has an other opinion....

Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
All I meant to say was that the band's name doesn't sound ballsy enough for me to listen to it

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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 849
Location: Frozen dead land where sharp winds blow
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:28 pm 
 

PDS wrote:
It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.

:eek:
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BastardHead wrote:
I will pay a dollar to have Lich's custom title changed to "Drools into the Toilet Bowl"
Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
I like keeping my sword wet, like a young girl in her prime.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 4435
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:29 pm 
 

So what exactly happened in the previous story arc of FFA to cause it to end?
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Last.fm

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TheConqueror1
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:05 am
Posts: 288
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:34 pm 
 

Slavic women are extremely sexy.

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iAm
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 6247
Location: Waco, Texas
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:35 pm 
 

Wilytank wrote:
So what exactly happened in the previous story arc of FFA to cause it to end?

AbovetheThrone posting about some girl he barely knows whom he met online that he's going to move in with and it got out of hand. That's what I gathered.
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Empyreal wrote:
Yup, they ripped off Metal Church. Now that you've solved that mystery, Metallica is now dethroned from their place in metal history and will be safely forgotten forever. Good job!

I hate music

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rexxz
Retired my ass!

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 10706
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:41 pm 
 

Every once in a while, the thread jumps the shark and needs to be put down.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 24070
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:42 pm 
 

It is still right there and you can still read the entire thing...
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Cinema Freaks latest reviews: Best and Worst Movies of 2016

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8241
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:44 pm 
 

TheConqueror1 wrote:
Slavic women are extremely sexy.

Only the sexy ones. Which in turn is then true about every ethnicity. Sexy [insertethnicity] women are sexy.
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http://blacktribesucks.bandcamp.com/ - Experimental black metal
http://alphadrone.bandcamp.com/ - Atmospheric doom metal

We all secretly loved Wesley Crusher.

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Cursarion
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:56 am
Posts: 792
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:48 pm 
 

henkkjelle and PDS do not deserve this topic. :(
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Empä mie semmone ou niiku sie luulet

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Morrigan
Crone of War

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:27 am
Posts: 11547
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:50 pm 
 

iAm wrote:
Wilytank wrote:
So what exactly happened in the previous story arc of FFA to cause it to end?

AbovetheThrone posting about some girl he barely knows whom he met online that he's going to move in with and it got out of hand. That's what I gathered.

Uh, no. You think there hasn't been any stupider "arcs" in past FFAs?

Years ago, the aging forum software made large threads become buggy (paging wouldn't work properly) so that's why they closed the threads and made new ones. This isn't needed anymore, but some fools here get attached to traditions, and so have arbitrarily closed the old thread to make a new one for... no real reason. *shrugs*
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Von Cichlid wrote:
I work with plenty of Oriental and Indian persons and we get along pretty good, and some females as well.

Markeri, in 2013 wrote:
a fairly agreed upon date [of the beginning of metal] is 1969. Metal is almost 25 years old

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 7289
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:50 pm 
 

PDS wrote:
It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.

How do you even begin to live with yourself?
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"Behold, wizard, for the last time how the sun looks, for henceforth you will watch it with empty sockets!"
Guitarist/vocalist in Illusions Dead - death/black metal
Vocalist in Gloaming - vile, crawling death/doom metal

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MonumentalBlackArt
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2014 12:04 am
Posts: 1797
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:55 pm 
 

Yeah mate that's pretty fucked up.

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rexxz
Retired my ass!

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 10706
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:58 pm 
 

Morrigan wrote:
This isn't needed anymore, but some fools here get attached to traditions, and so have arbitrarily closed the old thread to make a new one for... no real reason. *shrugs*


The reason is puns. Judas Priest puns.
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Hexenkraft - diabolical cyberpunk darksynth

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Zodijackyl
Parochial Nimrod

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 6642
Location: The lavender house
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:06 pm 
 

rexxz wrote:
Morrigan wrote:
This isn't needed anymore, but some fools here get attached to traditions, and so have arbitrarily closed the old thread to make a new one for... no real reason. *shrugs*


The reason is puns. Judas Priest puns.


Better by you, better than me.
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AboveTheThrone wrote:
Trust me -- I've done a lot of online dating and whatnot and I can tell when a chick is trying to use me for something.

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PDS
The Young One

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:04 pm
Posts: 1269
Location: A forest on an island!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:24 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
PDS wrote:
It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.

How do you even begin to live with yourself?


I don't, most of the nights are regretting what my younger self has done, then the laziness sets in before I do anything else, like bother to put Painkiller on my comp while I do something else.
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Shadechaser wrote:
But all of them dim and fade 'cause the man named PDS has an other opinion....

Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
All I meant to say was that the band's name doesn't sound ballsy enough for me to listen to it

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10291
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:26 pm 
 

I've never heard more than the first song off Painkiller. My life's been wasted.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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