I've been reading a few reviews recently. While most reviews, for better or worse, seem to back up their statements with reasonable opinions, others are just plain wrong or hilarious. I've made this thread to share some hilarious reviews and opinions for a laugh and perhaps a debate. This was made in the Tavern so other genres of music can be discussed.

This is a discussion about power metal, and Manowar dug up from the abscess of a minor forum elsewhere.



I've never really associated Manowar with power metal, but that's not the major point here. You can criticise them for many things. Their arrogance, their homoerotic album covers, their seeming need to include a fucking bass solo on every fucking album, The Lord of Steel in its entirety, Joey De Maio still living in his mothers house - despite being nearly 60, blatant sell out commercialism, their need to rerecord their classic records, Karl Logan's guitar, their fans, and I'm only scratching the surface. One thing that is consistently held as Manowar's biggest strength are the bands vocals, in particular the range and power. The reviewer here either hasn't heard Manowar, or clearly has no idea what good vocals are. I'm not saying you need to like Manowar, or even Eric Adams, after all there is plenty of reason to not like them, but saying their biggest problem is the vocals is like saying the biggest problem with Motörhead is Lemmy.

agreed 100% - i'd personally argue that the stellarness of adams' voice is objective, and that to try and say otherwise more or less voids your opinion. if you want to argue heavy metal, you need a foothold IN heavy metal from which you can argue. context is kinda key - you can't come from a standpoint that doesn't recognise a pillar of the genre (and that vocal approach, particularly as exemplified by adams, is one), and tell someone that it's shit.

that being said, it's also a MASSIVE fallacy to subscribe to the notion that things can and should only be evaluated on their own terms. i went on a couple week trip through NZ's south island a month or two ago, and at one point (i was in the northern tip of the south island at this point) i saw a plaque with two sets of information: the first detailed how abel tasman was able to use mind-bogglingly complicated devices to measure longitude and find his way from the netherlands to australia and NZ. the second half of the plaque was there telling me that the maori who sailed from the north island in their canoes were equally as ingenious as abel tasman, and just as accomplished seafarers, in their own way. and i had to think: no they fucking weren't! their culture simply wasn't as seafaringly advanced. that's not a slight against them; it's just an observation anyone could easily make. but the idea that the playing field must be leveled so that those two accomplishments - one sailing something like 15,000km around the world, the other 50km across a strait - can be seen as equally wonderful, purely to avoid the suggestion that one culture was more advanced than the other.... ridiculous. i mean where do you end with that sort of stuff? are newborn babies also intrepid mariners in their own right? hyperbole, i know, but you get the idea.

i guess what i'm saying is, you need to have a rational perspective from which you can argue. you don't get to set the parameters yourself!

Well, that's a subjective matter, but I'd rate the caveman who invented fire at least as highly as the fellows who got the first nuclear reactor running. Yes, the latter is fancier, but the caveman was a genius.

Also, he resembled me more than the fancypant scientists. I'm positively biased here.

Joey Demaio really lives with his mom? She must be like 90, is he taking care of her or something?

He's of Italian descent, It's pretty common that Italian men don't tend to move out until they get married. I guess Joey's still waiting for that special lady.

you can read all about it here: http://metalinquisition.blogspot.co.uk/ ... rt_20.html

That article give me douche chills. Say what you want about Joey DeMaio, 99% is probably deserved, I'm not sure why the other guys are targeted. They have to make a living like anyone else and I'd imagine all the money goes into the band's expenses/DeMaio's pockets. He was/is still(?) the one writing the music and lyrics. Almost any royalties would go to him.

DeMaio's douchey exploits are well-storied and someone who does the shit he does probably deserves at some point to have the piss taken, but that article is creepy as fuck in a TMZ-style "it's not stalking if we call it journalism!" way. If "look at them! The members of Manowar live in HOUSES! LAUGH at that!" is your idea of a good article, I hear they're looking for new staff on Honey Boo Boo.

As I say that, I'm actually interested in how much money one might make from a relatively popular metal band (I heard somewhere that Immolation have never seen a cent of surplus revenue from their music but keep doing it because they love death metal; no, I don't have a source offhand), but surely there are ways to get a hold on it that don't involve making yourself look like a colossal wanker?

Sure there are. You don't often hear people saying what a douche people like Lemmy, Tony Iommi or Steve Harris are. Unfortunately, they seem to be in the minority.

Oh, I was calling the guy who wrote that blog post a wanker. (Easy to get confused when DeMaio is in the same post, I admit) Yeah, I have to imagine the guys in Maiden, Priest, etc. are well and set for life, and I've heard nothing but good things about the Maiden boys when it comes to how they act in their day-to-day life.

Edit: anyhow, so that I can contribute something to the thread that actually addresses the subject at hand, I've heard a few strange criticisms of Edguy over the years. One was that Theater Of Salvation's title track was some dumb shit about "being a Christian", which is as fundamentally what-the as saying Commando is a movie about being peaceful and diplomatic, and that they couldn't hear Michael Kiske's vocals on Judas At The Opera (?!). There's plenty of controversy surrounding the band, but I hope both sides can agree that those critiques there are a wee bit silly.

For anyone who's never been around upstate NY - it's a "humble" area, to put it gently. "Redneck shithole" would be another term. According to Wiki, the median household income there is $30,281 and poverty is somewhat high. It's not full on ghetto, but there's no real sustaining industry. Making fun of Manowar for their modest lifestyles there is kind of asinine when they seem to be doing fairly well by Auburn standards. Working construction is not an unusual way to make a living there, and being a guitar teacher is probably considered a fairly sweet gig. $69,000 is average for a house there.

Amusing note: I used to edit and write for a hunting/fishing mag that covered upstate NY and I'm pretty sure I remember the name Lou Marullo as one of our contributors for articles and field photography from that area.

I'm from Syracuse (25 minutes from Auburn) and I can attest to this. Funny thing is, the suburbs around here and the outside towns like Auburn are considered high class compared to what we have going on in the city.

I don't think people are actually knocking the lifestyle just the fact that it's Manowar leading it. Honestly I'm a bit shocked to hear they aren't super rich and living it large. I would have never thought a band like Manowar wouldn't be uber rich, after all they are one of the biggest names in metal and what, like one of the biggest metal bands ever in Europe? All that aside I think the rest of it comes again from the fact that it's Manowar and their 'kings of metal' personas and mentality, not the fact that it's a few dudes working normal jobs to support themselves while not on the road.

Edit: prime example, go look at the Manowar thread in the tours section. The ticket prices alone are so absurd it's a wonder people actually go see them.

Yeah, it is weird I admit, but the article is obviously trying to make them look poor and may be omitting other info. They might just be frugal and putting their money into investments, or maybe getting skewered with multiple divorces/child support. Major record labels are notorious for raping bands, especially "second string" major label acts like Manowar - I wouldn't be surprised if they never see a dime in royalties for their 80s/90s back catalogue.

Also, it's highly probable that Joey DiMaio isn't living with his parents out of financial necessity. More likely, they probably need help getting around at that age and he could just be doing it out of charity. Also, just because Logan rents a house doesn't mean that's his only property. I own a house and I live in an apartment while renting out the house; it's not unheard of.

The article is nothing but crass snobbery. They are attempting to shame Manowar for having working class lives and not living up to some theatrical fantasy. I'm sure the writers aren't obnoxious in that way in their lives, either, it's that the site is premised around being a metal version of TMZ.

It's just stalkerish - how would they know what part of the house Joey lives in? Either they made that up or someone's peeking in his window, which is liable to get you fucking shot in a place like Auburn.

Gossip about TMZ wannabes on blogspot, what has the blogosphere come to??? Look, a picture of a dude with his parents! Someone saying he shops in a grocery store? It's quite embarrassing to see all of this bickering about a random troll site mentioning some details about metal musicians being normal people living normal lifes off stage. You're just as catty as children gossiping about Justin Bieber.