To start off this time, I'll use Napero's recent post from Free for All thread:
I've always found the idea of using stuff you put into your body to change your thoughts and mind and chemical composition a bit silly, and frankly, useless and personally dishonest, too. But experiencing it firsthand like I'm doing right now can really open one's eyes, and expand the mind million-and-a-half-fold. It may be frowned upon by the society and stuff, and there's a stereotype associated with people doing it, as if it was a sin, but it really isn't. Even if you, like, think that there's a divine creator, and she set the rules for stuff, why did she create the ingredients we can use for this in the first place, if there was something totally wrong with taking advantage of the natural resources in our disposal? The same goes for secular laws and shit, you can't regulate stuff you find growing on some shrubbery somewhere, and it would be, like, really totally completely bollocks to try to regulate people away from ingesting things they could well find on the roadside or in the oceans or like growing on a giant ball of cow dung somewhere, right? They just can't do it. And therefore, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with it, man. Just do it, and bear your own responsibility for your decisions and actions. Even if it involves stuff like feeling like a dead slab of well-aged sirloin on the chair next to your work desk, like I'm experiencing right now, no one can judge you. The way I'm melding with my monitor at this very moment, becoming one with the tiny white insects on the screen that form syllables and words and sentences with their seemingly random frolicking... it makes me wonder if they are giving me these ideas by finding the right sequences and seemingly random order, or if I am somehow, through some archaic and mechanical interface, directing their actions and movements and meanings? We may never know for certain, can we? The ideas I'm communicating with these tiny shapes on the infinetely black and burgundy two dimensional world of theirs glowing in the twilight of the office must flow in one or the other direction, and I feel like I'm connected by some sort of grid or network to other beings similar to me, exchanging, like, ideas and stuff by the dance of those tiny entities, transmogrified by some weirdly mechanical quasi-intelligence to bits and bursts of electrons and tiny packets of photons that race through complex tubes of light across the world, climbing mountains and diving beneath the surfaces of the oceans, perhaps somewhere passing within inches of some clam or something that was just a freely floating egg when Shakespeare wrote his sonnets on the marvels of mushroom omelettes, and has seen the times change, except with no eyes, only as an internal flow of time. It breathes the universe and the teeming life in it, and even those electrons that the mechanical brain assembles and tears apart in its infernally magnificient machinery were created at the singularity in the beginning of time itself, flying across the 13 billion years of time and space and dimensions for that one special moment to assemble briefly into a coherent form to convey an abstract idea those tiny specks of light explain to me or I tell them to build of their very bodies... only to disperse again and perhaps meeting again either in the end of the final collapse when everything falls back into a single dimensionless point simultaneously in and outside or the end of time, or perhaps in some weird future when they might be the parts of the same eye, for example, a sensory organ of something that watches the dark skies for millions of years in solitude, observing the lights of the stars going out as the universe runs out of steam and ends in the pitiful fizzle of the universal heat death. And the thing thinks, for millenia for each thought in the cold vastness of deep time, letting the black holes and residual radiation circle and recombine on the surface of the abyss of endless space above it. Wouldn't it be marvellous of those electrons had memories of this very moment, this brief quantum of time when I feel I share existence and consciousness with them? Would the creature think the same thoughts once again, perhaps not knowing the same thoughts had already been thought before by me and my little white friends swarming on this screen? Whoa, dude! And at this brief moment, you are reading this by sensing the replicants of the original insects on my screen, thinking the same sequence of thoughts, and in that sense we form a communal hive mind, melding into a single organism called "humanity", residing on the thin layer of organic life on the surface of the sphere of stone orbiting a ball of plasma feeding us like a giant, caring mother across the black void and guiding our path through space with her invisible fingers made of the essence of gravity. And remember, even that gravity is just a theory, not a fact. But that gravity keeps the sphere of rock together, and that's why we need to keep believing in it, lest it all falls apart. And the thin films of organic slime on the surface of such a huge mass of minerals and molten iron at the very core of it all seems like an awful waste of space and material, just like the idea that the unverse is here solely for us... it's waste of perfectly good space, dude, even if you don't think about the fact that parts of it are racing away from us so fast that we may never catch them and use that space, it's getting away. We must escape the gravity well of our mother Earth and run after them, or it all is wasted for good. I, myself, already feel lighter and about to float away, because I'm losing my faith in gravity. Like. Yeah.
I'm never eating this much sushi and reading certain kinds of postings on the board again.
just so I can say - this is why I love this board so much and why I pretty much haven't registered/posted anywhere else since 2005 (for better or for worse)
Lots of great individuals here. Napero's post does kind of veer on the whole "duuuuuuude"
side, and I wish it was presented in a bit less "shroom-like" manner as it's a bit of a struggle to read it, but, Napero, you're totally getting there as far as I'm concerned
<3 UltraLordExcalibur is also awesome
So here comes a kinda long introduction, which I think serves some purpose for the sake of the argument at the bottom:
I still stand behind everything I said in The Fault of Man
thread, or at least the part about us all being one, and ego being an illusion, obstacle - a wall we need to break down in order to see, feel and recognize ourselves for what we really are/have potential to be - (part of a greater) Divine Consciousness
- the ultimate (as far as I can see) triumph of the evolution.
Now, several days after that thread was locked, I fell into a state of mild depression and lethargy, contemplating the fact that I might as well have just suffered temporary insanity, and that there's maybe really no more to life that just chasing after a carrot on a stick - get a good education, find a good job, accumulate wealth, get married, have kids, work harder to accumulate even more wealth so you can support them
as they are taught in school how best to chase that carrot themselves and finally die in an expensive bed and make sure you have someone to cry for you so your dead ego gets one last boost, I guess. So fulfilling!
And then I grinded myself even further thinking how foolish and childishly naive it was of me to just quit my job and so openly profess my "insanity" to the world, believing it can be saved in the first place. "Idiot me - falling for noble ideals - I'm just some guy from Serbia posting on some metal forum - no one gives a shit, they have better things to do/worry about than yet another
guy claiming he discovered God, and I was stupid enough to put so much faith in mankind above all."
But even in that state of lethargy/depression there was always a comfort in knowing that I was doing the right thing. I had nothing but the best intentions for the whole world in mind - It may have been a crazy attempt in the first place, and if no one managed it so far, why fool myself into thinking somehow I
can do it. But I still said "Fuck it, I can at least try, cause The World is obviously going/gone to shit, and though I may not be able to fix it, at least I can try and get the ball rolling and give some minor contribution to making it a better place, cause there's really nothing more important in life than that, everything else is just wasting time, and hopefully someone will stop and think about it all and spread the word, and I'd be fine with that alone." I originally started by trying to break it all down first (and I decided to take Sophie Scholl from the start as an example of what a perfect human being is supposed to be), and tried not to get distracted with finding solutions yet - just first diluting it all and separating right from wrong, looking for truth from a moral standpoint, and once I'd discover each truth - I'd build on top of that. A rough example: "Capitalism, as we have it now, is bad as it inevitably gives birth to consumerism, feeds the ego, separates us as human beings and fosters negative emotions. I wont weigh myself down right now thinking about viable economic alternatives - let's move on". And so I moved one step at a time, and I achieved bliss
at the end of it.
Let's get this straight - I'm not shitting you when I say it is the
single most wonderful feeling a human being can achieve. You may think you know what it feels to love someone/something and be truly happy (or at least I thought so for the last 29 years), but that's just a poor man's version of the real thing. I really
wish I could share it with you, hence why I'm still writing here in the first place. No drugs were involved
(unless you count caffeine and nicotine), and the best part about it was that I didn't even care if I was being loved in return by the World - I gave myself to it, risked my health(1), my career/future, an image of a sane/reliable individual, and surprisingly enough, it resulted in feeling truly
free, loving, caring, compassionate and completely fearless for the first time in my life. The World responded in kind whether it knew/cared about it or not, and I was grateful for it and felt awesome
. I could keep writing here about it, but it would take a really long time, and I still feel mere words wouldn't do it justice.
But here's the trick - there is no way
you can reach that Divine state without giving yourself to the World first so to speak, or as CF_Mono stated in the previous thread - being critical of yourself first before you criticize anyone else. Honest
introspection is the first step. It may sound morbid - but you need to crucify your ego, and once you do that, you realize how wrong you were your entire life, you will understand that other people are wrong too, but you won't judge them for it, as it would be extremely hypocritical.
So anyway, I started reading up on messiah complex, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, neurosis and all that, trying to further familiarize myself with myself but most of all I was ruthlessly putting my own truths to the test. But on the other side I also took up reading some philosophers, scratching the surface of Buddhist teachings, reading up on Jung's theories about the unconscious, and lately, thanks to my sister, even discovered Hermeticism
and was delighted to find that it shares a lot of my ideas/conclusions about the World and the meaning of life. Thank god I met with my sister two nights ago, as she's calmed me down which in turn allowed another thought to pop into my head last night, so here it is:
When I first discovered and felt that Divine, I went around telling my friends about it, how their ego is dragging them down and all, and they'd usually, without giving it much thought, answer with "Oh yeah? That could
be true, and I'm really happy for you, but why should I believe you? Prove it!", to which I'd respond and realize that if you need to prove to someone that 2+2=4 then you're just wasting your time at that point, as it's more trouble than it's worth. It's a matter of common sense, and a persons ego is just resisting at that point.
But last night I thought "How do you prove emotions to someone?" Imagine meeting a person who has never experienced emotions, and he's asking you to prove them through empirical evidence. The best you can do, as far as I can tell, is point him to chemical processes in our brains and say "This is it - there's a proof" (also, let's drop silly romanticist ideas about emotions having anything to do with heart - heart is a pump and is no more responsible for emotions than your left foot, for example) But then a counter argument would be that it doesn't really prove anything, because does that mean then that an effervescent tablet, for example, goes through some emotional stages as it dissolves in water. Let's say it doesn't really. So I reached a conclusion that some things can't really be proven without being felt.
But then another though occurred to me regarding emotions - I can influence someone's emotions with a word, a gesture or a simple look. That means that I started a chemical process inside that persons brain, triggered an emotional response, influenced his actions, and perhaps even altered his entire course of life, for better or for worse. That's pretty fucking amazing right there! I mean talk about wireless transmission, right?
So, a Big Bang (just like any other explosion) is a chemical reaction, so would it be so wild, after all, to propose that God created the Universe and everything in it with a Word? And that some words might actually have the ability to shape/mold matter, especially if they're coming from, say, a being of a higher state of consciousness?
Anyway, that's when I decided it's about time I go to sleep, and pick it up tomorrow. I thought about this whole thing even further, developed some ideas as there's a lot of potential there from what I see - so let me know if I'm being wrong somewhere, but for the love of God (eh? EH?!
) try and keep in mind what I'm driving at. And try and have fun with it and experiment yourself, as that's the whole point, as I see it.
Thanks, and as before - please try and keep it civil. I'll try my best too this time around "One thought fills immensity" - William Blake
(1) I barely slept, haven't eaten anything for three days at one point and thought I ended up with anorexia cause I couldn't eat even if I tried, went up from 1-1.5 pack of cigarettes per day up to 3 packs per night and was even convinced I was going to die in my sleep due to exhaustion, uncanny ending to EKV video and
the fact that I figured I just solved life's riddle.