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Mutterficker
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:36 am
Posts: 107
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 9:41 pm 
 

I've heard some in the past, but I recently came across some 8 bit covers of death metal.
This interested me and now I'm looking for more chiptune metal. But while epic tracks do exist, they eventually mesh into a Castlevania marathon.

Now I want to storm into a piss typhoon. I came across an ungodly abomination of human psychosis. It was an 8 bit metal cover done in a Lego music maker. It was an effeminate Satan passively raping a synth making no attempt to sound like a human creation.

It made me want to find the worst songs ever made.


I found one.



This isn't music. This is noise. This is the sound of menstrual blood dripping onto an electric guitar in 5/4.

What are your horror stories? *Before anything, if that tangent about chiptune metal sounded inconsequential, even for me, it's because Anamanaguchi set the bar high for chiptune punk, so certainly metal— perennially more complex and Nintendo than punk— should have been better.*
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Last edited by Mutterficker on Thu Nov 06, 2014 9:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 4217
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 9:46 pm 
 

The band submission queue yields many a horror story. For example:


Runner-up: http://smellthestench.bandcamp.com/album/109-corruption
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hots_towel
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 2:19 am
Posts: 197
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:11 pm 
 

too many to name, oh so much so. i listen to the radio when I'm sick of my CD's, i can actually tolerate (if not find some guilty pleasures) pop music. however, a good portion of the music they put on there, is as expected, atrocious...

the only thing worse in my opinion is modern/alt rock radio. id rather listen to katy perry's worst and most throw away song in her career over and over than listen to the best of what modern/alt rock radio has to offer.

nothing however amounts up to the travesty that i found in this song. As R lee ermy would say, "it's so terrible it could be a modern art masterpiece." that describes this noise so very accurately


if one man's art is another man's porn, I'm not sure which of the worst i watched here.

yea, there's some laughable demos out there, but i feel kinda bad for putting down what some kid worked hard on in his basement
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volutetheswarth
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:37 pm
Posts: 1558
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:42 pm 
 

Hated this when it was released, hate it now, fast cars and guy rapping and breathing in nitrous oxide?:


Wondrous example of the garbage that populated Channel V back in the early 00's, I believe this was on a big day out soundtrack.


This was a popular hit song in 1998, I don't know why, and the music video is a incoherent mess of stupid post-modern randomness.


Basically everything Laurie Anderson does is the musical equivalent of vomit, this song is the rare exception where she tries to incorporate singing instead of spoken word gibberish.

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darkeningday
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 2307
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:55 pm 
 



/thread
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Mutterficker
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:36 am
Posts: 107
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:06 pm 
 

BrokeNCYDE.
Oh shit.

I'd post a link, but I like you people too much.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:09 pm 
 

darkeningday wrote:
/thread

That's pretty bad...but I got something even worse:

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darkeningday
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 2307
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:09 pm 
 

Blood on the Dance Floor are worse than BrokeNCYDE who are worse than Millionaires.

But all of these are better than uffie.

Zelkiiro wrote:
darkeningday wrote:
/thread

That's pretty bad...but I got something even worse:


I dunno. To me this just sounds like every anime theme song ever just sped up a bit.
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Mutterficker
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:36 am
Posts: 107
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:22 pm 
 

What.
The cold prickly fuck.
Is this.

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Earthcubed
The Great Fearmonger

Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:44 am
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Location: Orocarni
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:23 pm 
 

I think this artist's entire discography counts.


Spoiler: show
Image
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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:34 pm 
 

:lol: ShadowOfDeath's bands were great. I remember the forum regulars would SLAM his releases with shitty reviews. Some of them were downright hilarious. Simpler times, those days.
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darkeningday
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 2307
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:36 pm 
 

:lol:

Wasn't his user name Shadow0fDeath, though? Guess he didn't realize underscores existed.
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Mutterficker
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:36 am
Posts: 107
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:38 pm 
 



My brow is wrinkling and I'm steepling and my tea's going cold.
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MetalCuresHeadaches
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:35 pm
Posts: 614
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:59 pm 
 



One of the more painful entries in the "Any one can make a pop song" trend from YouTube, really shit male guest rap included. Makes Rebecca Black sound like Aretha Franklin.
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volutetheswarth
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:37 pm
Posts: 1558
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:18 am 
 

Earthcubed wrote:
I think this artist's entire discography counts.
Spoiler: show
Image

Is that the spoilt bully kid from Blank Check?

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Mutterficker
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:36 am
Posts: 107
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:32 am 
 

I've never even heard of ShadowOfDeath. Should I bother?
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JohnTheDrummer
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 2:25 pm
Posts: 317
Location: Seattle, WA, USA
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:34 am 
 

Vivian Black is one of the most..... erm... interesting.... artists out there.... and here is one of her "best"


Then there is "So Cold in The D"


I can keep going... but I would overload this site with shit :)
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Scorntyrant
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 5:55 am
Posts: 1122
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:04 am 
 

Mutterficker wrote:
I've heard some in the past, but I recently came across some 8 bit covers of death metal.
This interested me and now I'm looking for more chiptune metal. But while epic tracks do exist, they eventually mesh into a Castlevania marathon.

Now I want to storm into a piss typhoon. I came across an ungodly abomination of human psychosis. It was an 8 bit metal cover done in a Lego music maker. It was an effeminate Satan passively raping a synth making no attempt to sound like a human creation.

It made me want to find the worst songs ever made.


I found one.



This isn't music. This is noise. This is the sound of menstrual blood dripping onto an electric guitar in 5/4.

What are your horror stories? *Before anything, if that tangent about chiptune metal sounded inconsequential, even for me, it's because Anamanaguchi set the bar high for chiptune punk, so certainly metal— perennially more complex and Nintendo than punk— should have been better.*



The story behind the Shaggs is kinda interesting I think - they couldnt play and knew it, and had no interest in playing, but their crazy dad pulled them out of school and made them be musicians:

"The conceptual beginning of The Shaggs came from Austin Wiggin, Jr.'s mother. During Austin's youth she had predicted during a palmreading that he would marry a strawberry blonde woman, that he would have two sons after she had died, and that his daughters would form a popular music group. The first two predictions proved accurate, so Austin set about making the third come true as well. Austin withdrew his daughters from school, bought them instruments, and arranged for them to receive music and vocal lessons. The Wiggin sisters themselves never planned to become a music group, but as Dot later said, "[Austin] was something of a disciplinarian. He was stubborn and he could be temperamental. He directed. We obeyed. Or did our best."
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PDS
The Young One

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:04 pm
Posts: 666
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:13 am 
 

A horrible song that besmirches an ALMOST PERFECT DISCOGRAPHY

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Mutterficker
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:36 am
Posts: 107
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:17 am 
 

This Reddit comment summarises all my feelings on the matter

Quote:
You've got it. That song gives me a physical revulsion every time I hear it. It's more than just disliking a song. This is something that tries to pretend it's a song, but ultimately isn't. It's unsettling. Like if a monkey skinned a person and dressed in that skin and carried on as if it were a person.
My Pal Foot Foot is a monkey wearing a human skin-suit and trying to be a human.


http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Cem ... pist/60993
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TadakatsuH0nda
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:37 am
Posts: 124
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:48 am 
 

Not the worst I've ever heard, but pretty painful...
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Crick
Despised by 17 Corners of the Universe

Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:11 pm
Posts: 6481
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 2:46 am 
 



HARDCORE BONGO DROPS
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CardsOfWar
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
Posts: 251
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 3:09 am 
 

Spoiler: show


This is an utterly fucking insufferable song I was forced to sit through because of my dumbass friend's inexplicable fascination with it. Just another one added to the list of songs I've had to grit my teeth and feign enjoyment of...
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darkeningday
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 2307
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 3:23 am 
 

Crick wrote:


HARDCORE BONGO DROPS

This is actually hilarious and I'm pretty sure I love it as long as its creators made it ironically, which they probably didn't.
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Crick
Despised by 17 Corners of the Universe

Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:11 pm
Posts: 6481
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 6:54 am 
 

CardsOfWar wrote:
This is an utterly fucking insufferable song I was forced to sit through because of my dumbass friend's inexplicable fascination with it. Just another one added to the list of songs I've had to grit my teeth and feign enjoyment of...


I swear I'm like the only person who just unironically loves #SELFIE. Its too god damned catchy.

darkeningday wrote:
This is actually hilarious and I'm pretty sure I love it as long as its creators made it ironically, which they probably didn't.


I assure you that songs like this are literally Wiwek and Gregor Salto's calling card. They're completely serious. For a similar song,

.
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schizoid
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:35 am
Posts: 654
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 8:11 am 
 

there's this classic from Otaki...



Extra points if you can make it all the way to the guitar/keyboard solos. Praise Rang for public access TV.

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 4180
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 8:58 am 
 

Mutterficker wrote:
This Reddit comment summarises all my feelings on the matter

Quote:
You've got it. That song gives me a physical revulsion every time I hear it. It's more than just disliking a song. This is something that tries to pretend it's a song, but ultimately isn't. It's unsettling. Like if a monkey skinned a person and dressed in that skin and carried on as if it were a person.
My Pal Foot Foot is a monkey wearing a human skin-suit and trying to be a human.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unRldLdllZ8

Whaddaya talkin' about? This song's hilarious! I could laugh at this all day!
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schizoid
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:35 am
Posts: 654
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:06 am 
 

Zelkiiro wrote:
Whaddaya talkin' about? This song's hilarious! I could laugh at this all day!


surely the comment wasnt targeted at D4nny? the remix is one of the most feel moments ever https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF1HL335W7k

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:36 am 
 

schizoid wrote:
Zelkiiro wrote:
Whaddaya talkin' about? This song's hilarious! I could laugh at this all day!


surely the comment wasnt targeted at D4nny? the remix is one of the most feel moments ever https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF1HL335W7k

You wanna talk feels? THIS is feels!
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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 6170
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 11:12 am 
 

Hating on Crystal Castles gets you fucked up in these parts! That band rules.

Ok, so this thread has been fantastic, and I hadn't heard a lot of this stuff, and some of this stuff was gold. BUT. The reason why I chose this song for the worst song of all time is because it simply is. It's a cover of a song that was popular almost two years ago, done by a band that had a one hit wonder with an un-ironically song about how "bitches be crazy" and subsequently gained a massive following. The aesthetics of the band are awful, every single post-grunge rock cliche is found here, from the full body tats, to the fat older guys in the background with sleeveless motorcycle gear, the shitty, old-man jacked singer, the terrible fucking voice, the horrible NWA hat and jean shorts (you're a goddamn 40 something....), the AWFUL "tribute" to "Thunderstruck"...the fan base the everything. The fact that an ironic joke band could write better songs than these earnest old men...just...ugh. This song entirely encapsulates what the rest of the country thinks if good "hard rock/metal" (go to the Midwest) and just drags the whole fucking thing threw the mud. This band continued the shitty tradition of bands like Seether and Stained (who could, admittedly, write a decent riff or two) and opened the way for even shittier bands like Theory of a Deadman, Saving Abel, Adelitas Way....just abominable.

The worst part is, they were paid to do this. For every "terrible" song you wanna pull from the net or whatever, at least those are passion projects, those are little things, that while awful and funny, are at least made by people who want to do something...this...this is just a cash grab, a filthy, awful, unapologetic in its generic and cliche pile of shit. Literally a representation of everything wrong with modern rock. Ugh...I could go on, but honestly, there's no use. Behold, the worst song of all time.

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Necroghast
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:43 pm
Posts: 511
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:09 pm 
 

the dude who wrote/produced Rebecca Black has far worse stuff in his roster:





I never know what to think of these.

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Erotetic
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:05 pm
Posts: 938
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:34 pm 
 

Mutterficker wrote:
I've heard some in the past, but I recently came across some 8 bit covers of death metal.
This interested me and now I'm looking for more chiptune metal.


Thrawsunblat's Thrawsunbit EP
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kingnuuuur
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:35 pm
Posts: 2147
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:54 pm 
 

Drunken Pazuzu hesitatingly possessing retarded redneck rock stars while agonizingly passing stones

Hoogie Boogie Land
The mythology behind them band. Name.
Their updated version of the song
The kara-motherfucking-oke mega-retard edition
30 mins of merciless demonic possession

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Yahko
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 4:27 pm
Posts: 243
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:01 pm 
 

Going over the songs I dont feel that the low budget songs like Cold in the D and D4NNY are bad because they are just awful singers, so I dont expect them to be good because there are millions out there that suck as well (including me if I were to make one). Plus I dont really buy into the borderline comedic tunes either. Maybe the creators didnt want it to be funny but songs like Friday by Rebecca Black, or the Fox Song, or Chocolate Rain, or etc.Its like saying that William Hung is the worst - he is, and that is why I dont have any hateful feelings for his songs.

I find it that bands like Buckcherry making a high budget video and its more disturbing to me than an American Idol competitor that cant hold a proper singing tune. BuckCherry got my vote. D4nny is really the winner but its too comedic for me to hate it.
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Vipunen
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:32 pm
Posts: 157
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 2:06 pm 
 

Now this is a good occasion to post the 'fresh' music video made by Keydragon.


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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 8134
Location: Innsmouth
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 2:13 pm 
 

Along with PhilFrog's Buckcherry nod, I always found this to be one of the absolute worst songs ever to make it big:



Motherfucker rhymes "things" with "things" and rips off both "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Werewolves of London" in the space of a single song. So fucking bad.
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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 2777
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 2:56 pm 
 

I've proclaimed this Frenchman's glory around the boards before but never got much of a response - Behold, the metal music videos that make Keydragon look professional in comparison. In Surround!


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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 6170
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 3:13 pm 
 

Fadades is love, Fadades is life

THAT GODDAMN KID ROCK SONG. Holy shit - the air-play every fucking twenty minutes was insanity.
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darkeningday
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 2307
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 3:19 pm 
 

How the hell has no one posted "rockstar era" Lil Wayne yet?

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Yayattasa
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:49 am
Posts: 626
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2014 3:24 pm 
 

What am I doing in this thread? My life is ruined.
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