What are some thoughts on this?

I think it is no problem and completely natural for someone to want to fuck when they reach sexual maturity. What people need to do is to present sex as a normal and healthy thing, but something to be done in moderation. I consider it wrong to teach that sex outside of marrige is wrong, because that goes against nature. We are sexual by nature and should embrace that. If people concentrated more on making sure kids have safe sex than no sex, STD's and unwanted pregnancies would most likely be diminished. Kids are gonna fuck, you can't stop them from that. It's like with anything else, tabooing things makes them more desirable. Healthy sexuality is a virtue.

I would think it is best that kids know all the facts, and for nothing to be hidden from them in order to discourage sex. However, things are of course best if the kids wait until adulthood (and even better until a serious relationship), and this happens about half the time. Personality will determine things more than anything.

True. I mean, if some kids are 16 and they really feel like they love each other, I don't see a problem with them fucking as long as it's safe. I don't recommend dumb hippie free "love" shit or fucking everyone you see, but if you feel like you love someone, sex is not a problem.

Men are driven by sex and women are driven by the prospect of a provider. Therein lies the problem. Men want to fuck anything and everything and women want one man who will take care of them. Young females (under 30) are looking for someone to take care of them and men don't usually want a monogamous relationship until later in life (over 40).

I know this description doesn't fit every dynamic but it fits most people.

I am more inclined to support underage sex (experimentation) if it is with someone of comparable age. I think a lot of advantage can be taken if there is too much of an age difference.

In spite of sex education existing, it is impossible to make sure that kids apply what they learn. So till this is covered, STDs, AIDS and unwanted pregnancies is still an area of major concern. Kids do not have the emotional maturity or the financial back up to take care of themselves.. theyd just wanna have fun carelessly and go back home crying when they mess up. So its better for everyone that they just wait till they are older. Healthy sexuality being a virtue has no co-relation to sexual anarchy ("Kids are gonna fuck, you can't stop them from that" suggests just that.)

Furthermore, Im sure not every parent would want their daughters sleeping around with guys in her school, just because "we are sexual by nature", so theres that emotional factor involved in this as well.

Love isnt that simple you know. I'll be 17 in a month, some 6 months back when I was in a relationship I thought that yes, this is love. 2 months away from the girl (she is from an another city) and I started flirting around with other girls. We broke up in no time, lovers wouldnt care about distance. So its obvious that in my case it was nothing but mere attraction which lasted for just a few months. We thankfully didnt get physical but if we had wouldnt it have left us both with guilt or shame.

Take another example. A friend of mine was totally infatuated with his girlfriend, to the extent that both of them told their parents that they want to get married after college. Their parents agreed. They broke up 3 months back over some stupid thing after being in a relationship for 2 years. A common friend now tells me that the girl is totally depressed, not because of the breakup but because of whatever they had been involved in physically.

Most teenagers take sex as a game or as a means to prove something. Then they try to hide under the guise of true love.

This really isn't true. I'm male under 40 and I have no desire to be a crazy manwhore, much preferring the devoted monogamous set-up. It seems much the same for all the young men I know. And conversely I know a few girls who do nothing but whore around looking for a lay. Men and women aren't nearly as different psychologically as some people seem to think.

Immediately after I said "I know this description doesn't fit every dynamic but it fits most people."

I think it depends on the maturity of the couple. My friend lost his virginity in 8th grade to some slut 50 miles away and now has a bit skewed perspective on sex. I'm still a virgin (yaya!) at 16, but the first time I ever had any sexual interaction I was in about 7th grade. What I did I have doses of regret for, but knowing that I feel that remorse makes me feel a bit sane. I'll loose my virginity when the time comes and I'm not exactly sure if it's soon or way down the road.

Should I loose my virginity when I'm in love? My mind leans towards this being bullshit (doesn't mean I won't consider the contrary). Perhaps I'm just trying to agree with my natural instincts, but I remember the first time doing anything with a girl being really awkward, and I can imagine having sex for the first time being even more so. If lost to someone that you don't really have serious emotions for, wouldn't that make that time having sex with the girl/guy you love less awkward? From how I see it, if it's not done this way, it could possibly tear a hole in the relationship because of how awkward it is.

I know. What I take issue with is the "most people" part. It's not most people, it's merely some people. Maybe back in the days of the cavemen you might be closer to the truth, but these days I think you'll find most men and women are on the same level when it comes to the concept of love.

In my experience, most "what men want" and "what women want" stories are not much more than vague generalizations pulled out of the air by bitter ex's. Had a failed relationship? The woman will say all men are sex-addicted pigs and the man will say all women are goldigging manipulators looking fund their own interests. Neither is true, even though there are quite a lot of both kinds around.

Hence he said "it doesn't fit every dynamic", though I'm exactly the same as you, Beast - though I may think about hitting on girls at a club and stuff when I'm a single man, it never EVER leads anywhere anyway (mostly because I'm simply too retarded to know when a girl is flirting back - that's Aspergers for you). I have friends who are exactly the same way, and I also have friends that are the stereotype that PsycholgclMishap mentioned. As for me, I love my girlfriend greatly and wouldn't cheat on her even if the hottest porn star was presenting right in front of me - nothing could make me betray her trust. I don't even fuck her, I make love to her because for me sex involves emotions and the sharing and bonding (and the occasional fuck )

Anyway, on topic, the idea of a definite ruling on underage sex is just too difficult to be a black and white case. It's too frequent, and there are too many factors that come into play to make a definite open and shut statement, however what heavymetalbackwards said makes sense.

However, if you're a 16 year old guy in a loving long term relationship with a 15 year old girl and the two of them stay loyal to each other, then you probably won't run in to any trouble anyway, especially if you have smart parents that will educate the kids about sex, thus virtually eliminating the risk of STD's and pregnancies.

Well, the way I see it, there's a law of humanity at work; smaller groups tend to be louder. That is to say, a minority will often make themselves and their interests rather prominent. A small number of idiot metalheads have given us all a bad name simply because the idiotic ones are the loud types that attract far more attention than the others. The frat boy jock types who glide around clubs looking to score are a minority amongst young men, but they're the most visible because of how flamboyantly loud they are about the whole thing.

Of course, within the context of this thread, things are a bit different, because teenagers are generally less rational people than adults. Once you turn 20 (often before that even) you should be over that hormone-driven behaviour unless you're one of the aforementioned nightclub 'tards. I myself was never a raging boner on legs, but what pervy teenageness I ever had disappeared by the time I left school.

If you think your virginity is uncomfortably tight, than I suppose you should.

(on topic)

I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with expressing your sexual desires when you feel you are ready, but most teenagers just don't have the emotional responsibility that comes with it.

I'm all for safe-sex education, but I also think we should be teaching that it's not a goddamned free-for-all.

The whole concept of virginity is something I consider a bit dated. Why do people really care about it any more? Is it so important a milestone that it has to be saved for a super special occasion? Is it really so strange that someone might keep theirs well into adulthood rather than rush to lose it in teen years? People care about it too much both ways. I say, lose it when you lose it and just don't think about it. It's just a first time at something. You don't make such a fuss over the first time you drive a car or the first time you drink a beer, etc.

People care about because it's the standard measure for "loss of innocence." It's not strange for anyone to wait to have sex but if you are in your mid-20s and still haven't lost it you may have some sort of social anxiety going on. It's easy to understand "wanting to save [yourself] for marriage" but that concept simply does not work in modern times.

For me I was ready when I was 13 but because I was very sheltered I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. And to this day it was the best sex of my life and I felt no substantive emotional connection to the person to whom I lost it. It didn't feel like a loss of innocence for me...it was freeing. Not until many years after one of the most emotionally intense (although now I know it was one-sided) relationships I had did I know when I had lost my innocence to someone who cared more for himself than he ever did for me. That was a hard realization because I was so enamored with him and thought we'd "be together forever." The naivete of youth is both a journey of discovery and danger.

I was poking fun at the use of the word "loose" (as in, my pants are loose), in place of the word "lose".

I'm aware. I just took the opportunity to add something else to the thread.

Well I just thought it was odd that you would quote my lame joke rather than my actual contribution to the thread.

All right, enough derail.

Well, I wasn't paying much attention. Yours was the latest post to in any way address the concept of virginity, so I took it from there.

Anywho, I think sex and innocence are things that really should not be related. It's just another thing adults to, admittedly one with more emotional involvement, it has little really to do with innocence and, by extension, guilt. Unless we're talking about rape, that is, but one could say exposure to any sort of vicious crime would be harming to one's innocent worldview. To put it in hippie-ish terms, the act of human intimacy is wonderful thing, not something that should be shunned away as dirty or sinful, as it has been during the more religious eras of modern history. Kids old enough to understand it properly shouldn't be totally hidden away from it. And so that brings us back to the thread's initial subject.

I believe it would be best that kids getting into their teen years should be given a full and frank education about the act and all related topics. Make sure they know how to do everything safely. It's still preferable that they do not engage in such play before they reach at least 16 (even older than that in my personal opinion) because it's an activity that, while fun, has consequences and, just like alcohol and so on, should be treated with an adult level of responsibility. However, you're unlikely to be able to effectively prevent a pair of especially developed 15 year old from exploring, so it's best they just know how to do so with minimal risk.

I'm 13 and I feel like I'm ready, but I know I'm ridiculously young and the consequences are too great to imagine. I recently got asked THE sex question, and I said to wait until high school at least. I really do care about him more greatly than I can even explain, I just want to wait until I'm more mature and I know what I want. I also believe the concept of virginity is outdated. That doesnt mean I'm going to go and be a whore, though.

Like I said in the above post, if you FEEL like you are in love. We all feel like we are in true love as teenagers, and that these are our soulmates.

As long as it's not pedophilia I say shag away!

Seriously though, I see no reason for a young couple to not have sex if both want to. It's a natural thing and no rule or law should prevent them too. I think the fear of being branded a tramp or slut prevents most young girls from having sex, even if they want to. I think guys rarely pass on sex if they get the chance.
There's enough sex ed. in school already (at least where I'm from) and kids know a fair bit about STDs and condoms and whatnot. All you really need to know is STDs and unwanted pregnancies are bad m'kay.

Never had to deal with the issue, I've always had a thing for women who where older then me by a few years. Hell, I was flirting with 19 year olds when I was at 16.

Quoted -


Now back to topic -

I think you should be in love with the person and be commited to the person not just because you want sex with them but because you like who they are as a person not just the way they look.

It is perfectly normal for people to want to have sex at a young age. You just got to make sure you don't get anyone pregnant. If you do you have to take responsibility for the baby. My religion teaches to wait until you are married to have sex. But it is still natural for people to want to have sex.

I have no problem with underage sex, as long as both of them are consenting to it, why should I have a problem with it? Let them have a good time, they don't hurt anyone. Besides, it's really common in Norway, girls under 16 fucking around, lol. I haven't done any underage girls by the way, so don't think I mean it just because of that. ;p

I don't think I agree. To me sex doesn't have to be about love (surely it makes it a lot better). It can either be two (or even more in some cases) people in love, or it can simply be two or more people just being horny to put it bluntly. If two people can separate those two, they should be able to have sex simply because they want to.

Sex is just a normal especially in teenage years. That's the time when teenagers become curious about their sexuality and sexual intercourse. I don't see any reason to stop them from doing it as long as it's safe sex and they both agree on doing it (except when they're drunk or high).

I think innocence is a tool to stop people from doing things. It's too vauge to really mean anything for me. What is innocence? No one knows exactly.

To lose it, if it exists, simply advances you as a human being, you are no longer tethered by it.

Innocence is a moral thing built up by religion for a thousand years. Think about it, fornication was (still is I think) a sin which sent you to hell. People have grown up and lived with knowing it was the wrong thing to do. It's still deeply rooted in our minds and I think it will take a while until sex will become what it really is supposed to be in the modern age, an act of love, pleasure and fun, not only reproduction. Contraceptives are a medical wonder.

I agree with most of this but lots of people mature at different ages. females are sexually mature sooner than males. if more sex were to be allowed to happen then more std's aids and the other diseases would also go up that is ineveitable the thinking that people would think before having sex is in correct their is no thinking no way knowing how kids would react to becoming parents et al. most kids today have heard all the rhetoric and still most at s ome time in their young lives get in some kind of troubles related to sex and or relationships in general.(can't have relationships without sex?)

I have to disagree. Some things are just right and wrong and I feel that with my being not with other people's visions of what right and wrong are.

Children are generally innocent because they don't have true responsibilities and don't know true pain, fear, etc. is. For example, if a child is molested it will likely change that child for the rest of its life...in that situation I would apply the term "loss of innocence."

Only believe in it if it with one partner.Don't believe in this one screw everthing/one.

Yes I agree on that part but I think we "know" it's right and wrong because religion always told people so. Just think about the ten commandments. Now I don't know them by heart because I'm not religious but I think it goes something like don't murder, steal or violate your neighbors wife or property. Seems like common sense right? Well I think it's common sense because of where it comes from.

So if you break up with that one person, what happens? Stay celibate for the rest of your life?

OP -While I'm very much a romantic only-have-sex-with-someone-you-love type of person, I'm also realistic and am aware that de-stigmatising sex and promoting it as the natural reaction/neccessity which it is will ultimately help reduce STDs and unwanted pregnancies among teenagers. As someone else pointed out, humans, especially rebellious teenagers, are curious creatures and the more an issue - ie teenage sex- is stigmatised and the less information and education there is on it, the more kids will be inclined to engage in it out of sheer curiousity.

If there was more education dealing with sex, contraception, sexual urges, STDs,and all sex-related matters, I do think teenagers would find it easier to make an informed decision as to whether sex is something they are willing to wait for or something they want to do immediately, as opposed to this secretive, dirty, naughty Big Deal it's seen as at the moment.

No but these kids just do a bunch of people.I think you should know eachother a couple months(2 to 6)and know you love eachother.

I'm not sure I really understand the point of this thread. Are we talking about sexuality in general? Or, more specifically, the concept of when sex becomes appropriate?

It's a double-edged sword, if you ask me. On one hand, it's all well and good to say, "fuck the man, man! When you're ready, have sex, so long as you're doing it responsibly. Virginity is a dated concept." But, on the other hand, you have to consider how deeply ingrained the concept of virginity (which really just relates to sexual promiscuity, if you ask me) is in the general population. For example, no matter how liberal my views on the subject may be, if I learn that a girl lost her virginity at age 13, it would make me seriously reconsider a relationship with her. I don't feel that, at 13, I was mature enough to have a sexual relationship, so of course I'm going to assume that the same holds true for everyone else. If you're not mature enough to handle it, then you're just being promiscuous. This isn't necessarily the truth of things, but it's probably a common conception among both sexes.

I really don't know what to make of it, because I wasn't raised in a religious household and never was directly taught that virginity was something worth preserving, but it still does hold value for me. I've gotten over it, really, but deep in my brain somewhere it still does bother me that my girlfriend lost her virginity before being with me.

Hopefully, whatever social (or is it genetic? who knows) climate that exists that promotes this value will go away so that people may be free with their sexuality without the guilt, taboo or anything else negative associated with loss of virginity.

If a girls not a virgin(I'm not even 15 yet),I don't talk to them.Usually I get mixed up for a older guy and they hit on me.If they lost it before 15 I don't want to talk to them even.

Well, nice to know you're not judgemental at all, mate.

Sex doesn't make a girl a slut.