Don't really care what genre (but I'm guessing most of it will be black or at least black influenced), but epic-style is preferred (but again NOT essential, I'm open to anything). So far all I've really got is Primordial and Drudkh. Hit me!

You can't go wrong with Insomnium, some of the best melancholic melodic death metal around capped off by their trademark "crying guitar". Start with Across the Dark or Since the Day it all Came Down. (Really you can't go wrong with anything in their discography).

In that regard, check out Be'lakor as well. Similar to the likes of Insomnium, albeit more of that "epic" atmosphere you're looking for.

Ahab, the funeral doom band, has produced some rather sad, melancholic metal. Their second album, The Divinity of Oceans, specifically puts a greater emphasis on a sad, lonely amosphere.

Check out Slumber. http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Slumber/14871 and October Tide. http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/October_Tide/2337

And, If you liked the Ahab rec, check out Mournful Congregation. http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Mou ... ation/2824

You could also consider Katatonia sort of sad. http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Katatonia/6

Amon Amarths Embrace of the Endless Ocean is great, very epic and full of sorrow.

Any of the integral death/doom metal bands of the 90s (My Dying Bride, Theatre of Tragedy, Paradise Lost) will serve you nicely.

Take a look at Epic Doom metal

Warning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FMr61LyEV0

40 watt sun: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TjGXmkXJfc

I invented a new genre called Depressing Metal just for Agalloch. After listening to Marrow of the Spirit I felt so depressed I had to play some Power Metal to feel better

Depressive rock is already a genre, you're not a genius, sorry

Seconding Mournful Congregation and all the funeral doom scene. Esoteric, Skepticism, Evoken...
Also some DSBM like Nyktalgia, maybe Lifelover as well.

Drudkh are sad? Never made that connection.

Draconian are the saddest band IMO, Gothic Doom Metal done perfectly, especially on Arcane Rain Fell and Where Lovers Mourn.

I knew I was forgetting someone!

Schaliach is a must

http://youtu.be/XxUXoft1gNE

http://youtu.be/-0dHHeOivcc

Really?

Check out Saturnus, Rapture and Swallow the Sun as well. All play a similar melodic doom to the likes of aforementioned October Tide

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3x3cNqZ26Q

You need some Wolverine in your life. Masterfully tragic, moving music.

Godgory - Melodic death metal with a doomy flair, somewhat like Insomnium, but precedes them by several years.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is5dR5kg1h0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu0rlQpOc6E

Sculptured - a progressive melodic death metal band, also with some doom influences on their first album. Later albums aren't quite the same melancholic style, but the first one has to be my favorite metal album about love and heartache.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CjxRRXYqQQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0wIQBOdS94

Fallen is a melodic funeral doom band with deep vocals. Excellent material from the same guys (more or less) as Funeral.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ3Y1HDQqEY

And speaking of Funeral... them too!

Their more recent material is melodic doom/death, whereas they originally were a funeral doom band with gothic influences, probably the first funeral doom band to incorporate female vocals.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKo6Dagk6pM - This song is about growing old. So for added sadness, think about a dead grandparent or someone you knew who was also old while listening to this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pf_CqKH4O8 - Really slow and mournful stuff here

There are several female fronted doom bands that pull off a sad, depressive or melancholic sound very well: The River, Skumring, Omit, Murkrat

Murkrat is by far the darkest of the four I mentioned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NComWEX-8Cg

The River is crushingly heavy, sometimes the guitar sound suffocates the wonderful vocals of Vicky Walters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vPk2r1M7wE

Skumring and Omit have the same vocalist, Cecilie Langlie. Both are melodic funeral doom in a similar vein to Funeral and Fallen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRzfsP8OOjw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-czw7ey1K7I

Some of the saddest music I've ever heard is by a doom metal/acoustic folk band Uaral.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq0rXGLs0YM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_cFCdxTG_g

Forest Stream's album, Tears of Mortal Solitude is a great example of sad music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vHvcGpxhs4

Early I Shalt Become is uniformly melancholy and often heart achingly dismal. The most recent stuff has come to find some level of triumphalism. I think the three middle albums are the most "sad" without drifting into either aspiring light or self annihilating darkness. "Requiem" the exact middle album, is the best for what I think you are shooting for. The song "Enigma" stands out to me.

I'll also be that guy and say Xasthur's first album.

Most any Xasthur does the trick...anyways, Lurker Of Chalice and Skagos are two very melancholy, "sad" sounding bands (in VERY different ways, though both based, broadly speaking in atmospheric BM...two of my all time favorite bands).

Check out Novembre, Lord Azmo and Era Decay if you want pure melancholy

Try these, though you may disagree with what I consider sad/melancholic -

If you can bear female vocals and piano/synth parts:
Aglarond 2001 The Journey's End "The Journey's End (Promised Land Pt. II)"
Galadriel 1999 Empire of Emptiness "Sad Leaves Of The Dying Rose"
Agathodaimon 1997 Near Dark "Near Dark" This is actually the album version - I can't get the superior demo version on YT.

If you like Drudkh, you will like Anti as well:
Anti 2006 The Insignificance Of Life "Landscape In Minor"
Burzum 1993 Det Som Engang Var "En Ring Til Aa Herske"
Sarcofago 1991 The Laws of Scourge "Midnight Queen"

Not black metal, but this masterpiece recorded in 1989 is more like a lament.
Bathory 1990 Hammerheart "One Rode to Asa Bay"

Heavy/Doom Metal - not exactly "sad" but doom and gloom:
Manilla Road 1983 Crystal Logic "Dreams of Eschaton/Epilogue"
Cirith Ungol 1984 King Of The Dead "The Finger of Scorn"
Nemesis 1984 The Day of Retribution "The King is Dead"
Solitude Aeturnus 1989 Demo 1989 "Mirror of Sorrow" Again it's the album version.

I second Amorphis, Amon Amarth and Katatonia.
There are also endless ballads/slower songs by classic metal bands such as Metallica, Ozzy Osbourne, Exciter, Black Knight, Chastain, etc. - I am thinking in the vein of "Fade to Black" or "Mr. Crowley".

Early Esoteric, particularly their album Epistemological Despondency is very depressive and bleak. It's about as far as you get get from "epic" though.

Esoteric - The Noise Of Depression: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoI7gMk8flk
Esoteric - Awaiting My Death: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnhuJqbr ... re=related

try some Tiamat and tell me

Coldworld is some pretty sad melodic BM

Abyssic Hate, Lifelover, Happy Days, I'm In A Coffin, Totalselfhatred, Sterbend and Thy Light is some of the saddest music I can think of.

Thanks a lot guys, some amazing stuff here.

If you already got Primordial and you want it darker, try Urfaust.

Damn, I see a shameful lack of Empyrium here...

Check this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBexhCsZK70

If you don't know them, check their discography and read the lyrics.

Some other sad stuff could be:

Deinonychus
Forest of Shadows
Mar de Grises
Desire (prt)
Shape of Despair
Novembre

Not metal but quite sad is Ashram:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKClTwNUFb4

THIS

Solitude Aeturnus - Shattered My Spirit
Type O Negative - Everything Dies, Red Water (Christmas Mourning), Love You To Death.
Swallow The Sun - Cathedral Walls
Lake Of Tears - Forever Autumn, Like A Leaf
Keldian - Memento Mori
King Diamond - Daddy, So Sad, Insanity
Galneryus - Eternal Regret
Funeral - The Will To Die
Frown - Last Summer Days
Celtic Frost - Obscured
Axel Rudi Pell - The Clown Is Dead
Anathema - The Silent Enigma, One Last Goodbye

Nyktalgia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lpaeoTw2f0
Evoken: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QirLzGg4yvY
Ataraxie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCbXbhvTP2A
Silencer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZlZuYp1fZc (you may or may not like the vocals)
40 Watt Sun: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgJcsDbj-qI
I Shalt Become: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hlk7x7JnU8o
Forgotten Tomb: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke-v4-KXmmU

Hmmm. For a more "relatable", everyday kind of sadness (if that makes sense), try Jesu's self titled album, though I really don't consider the project to be metal. Also, "Dreamer Deceiver" and "Run of the Mill" by Judas Priest. Priest's early ballads were amazing. I think the latter may be undervalued because of the general weakness of Rocka Rolla, but man, when Halford belts out the "I can't go on" line... Goddamn son. Heartbreaking.

For more grand-scale misery, Katatonia's Dance Of December Souls is close to perfection. Also check out Beatrik. One of a handful of "depressive" black metal bands that can keep my interest.

Pallbearer rules!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efsUakRY2IQ