This is a thread worth watching, as I too would be interested in this sort of thing, if it exists. I don't have any spot on, useful recommendations; however, I do know that Dimmu Borgir has employed ICS Vortex for clean vocals for In Sorte Diaboli. Although, if you're asking a request this specific, you probably already know of Dimmu Borgir. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BfRu9h1vpQ
You may like Theatres des Vampires (specifically thinking of their Moonlight Waltz album), as the singer is female, melodic, and gothic-ish. I say -ish because Theatres des Vampires is more upbeat for a gothic band, and idk if they still try to ride out the whole 'gothic black' thing. But they were considored a black metal band in their early albums. I'd recommend their album Bloody Lunatic Asylum as it has Gothic, Doom, Black, Atmospheric influences all rolled into one album with both male and female vocals. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fKglxv7YXg
I'd also recommend Moonspell; they have a eerie atmosphere, and also have gothic and doom influence. They used to be like a Gothic/Black/Folk band in their Wolfheart album days, but they're more so a Gothic/Atmospheric/Doom metal band; their only relationship to black metal would be the singer's vocals who switches from like a Peter Steele Type O Negative clean voice, to a thrashy semi-black voice reminiscent to Peter Steele's vocals in Carnivore. If you like Type O Negative, you'll most likely enjoy Moonspell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRiUWRHP7vw
I also feel the the unheard of band Cultus Sanguine might fit the bill. They aren't really melodic though; however, they are doom/gothic based black metal, that is more eerie and haunting than any other band mentioned above. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRtKQBKTNFs
Another worthy mention being Funeral's 'In Fields of Pestilent Grief', although this is sorta far from what you've originally asked; they are very haunting, heavily melodic, and the best part female fronted. This is Funeral's only female fronted band. It has VERY HEAVY guitar playing, but is more doom oriented than a thrashy black metal band. They also put in a genuine gothic atmosphere too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-OUmQctdIw
I do specialize in the sort of Gothic/Doom/Black bands, however most of them are fringe and not really that great. Some of the more prominent bands that are worth noting would be Agathodaimon, Catamenia, Graveworm, Hecate Enthroned, Eternal Tears of Sorrow, Septicflesh (although Septicflesh is death metal, but with the some of the same qualities you described above)
Bands that I've heard the name and genre, but I haven't heard any material from: Forest Stream, Enslavement of Beauty (although they are more fringe)
I wish there were more bands like you described; I'm sure lots of people could appreciate them. However, I feel that Theatres des Vampires, Moonspell, Cultus Sanguine, and Funeral are the best I can give right now, even though Funeral isn't a black metal band, I think you'll still enjoy it. You could also try out a lot of the unheard of third-rate bands out there, they may supply what you're looking for but may end up not being entertaining whatsoever. I find that is the case with a lot of Myspace or fringe bands. Good luck on your quest.