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Carter
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:17 pm
Posts: 238
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:08 pm 
 

I think JonBenet Ramsey has the best song titles ever...

"Jesus Was A ShitFag PoopQueer... (The Story Of A Religious CrapHomo)"

"Decimating The Genitalia Of Children To Halt Their Admittance Into Heaven (Deuteronomy 23:1)"

"I Started My Own Cooking Show So I Could Cook Your Little Sister On Live Television"

:lol: These guys are fucking geniuses!

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Zombie_Quixote
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:00 pm
Posts: 254
Location: South Africa
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:11 pm 
 

Carter wrote:
I think JonBenet Ramsey has the best song titles ever...

"Jesus Was A ShitFag PoopQueer... (The Story Of A Religious CrapHomo)"

"Decimating The Genitalia Of Children To Halt Their Admittance Into Heaven (Deuteronomy 23:1)"

"I Started My Own Cooking Show So I Could Cook Your Little Sister On Live Television"

:lol: These guys are fucking geniuses!


Let's not forget things like:

"Infants Can't Say No"
"Your Little Girl Is My Personal Toilet"
"Rumor Has It That Raping Young Girls Is Against The Law"
"You Can't Go To School Because You Are Too Busy Getting Raped By Your Father"

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HailChaos
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:14 pm
Posts: 152
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:21 pm 
 

Satanic_Shoe wrote:
HailChaos wrote:
These guys are like the brutal death metal version of anal cunt, except less talented.


Is that possible?


'Tis.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18632
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:22 pm 
 

The only really funny ones posted so far are Lich King, Torsofuck and Demilich, the last of which is odd because it seems like they're serious. Which I'm still not sure about honestly.
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RevBau
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:02 pm
Posts: 1417
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:24 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I think this band is the winner.

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Bryce288
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:45 am
Posts: 131
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:40 pm 
 

Serious song, ridiculous name
Chained up in chains - Cauldron

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diabolikon
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:33 pm
Posts: 978
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:45 pm 
 

I believe this was an Anal Cunt one:
"Hitler Was A Sensitive Man"

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MaliciousAwesome
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:13 pm
Posts: 657
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:54 pm 
 

diabolikon wrote:
I believe this was an Anal Cunt one:
"Hitler Was A Sensitive Man"


I think I heard that song once on youtube. I laughed at it.

Also, OSHI- 500th post.

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sumorabbit
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 11:08 am
Posts: 246
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:04 pm 
 

diabolikon wrote:
I believe this was an Anal Cunt one:
"Hitler Was A Sensitive Man"


Anal Cunt has some great ones.


"I became a counselor so I could tell rape victims they were asking for it"
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Carter
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:17 pm
Posts: 238
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 pm 
 

Stinkyheadz

Greatest band name ever. So simple yet so ingenious.

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CountBlagorath
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2008 7:11 pm
Posts: 1042
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:54 pm 
 

RevBau wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I think this band is the winner.


Anal Cunt worship. But thats just bad taste.
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DeadHead487
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 9:54 pm
Posts: 91
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:14 am 
 

I saw a band at a local show on Valentine's Day called Death Pussy which really caught my attention.
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ampc
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 2:35 pm
Posts: 121
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:52 am 
 

Misantropical Painforest!
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AppleQueso
Veteran

Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:02 am
Posts: 2528
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:58 am 
 

Fuck... I'm Dead has some pretty amusing ones, especially "Jeffery Dahmer's Cookbook"

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OMGItsEvy
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:50 am
Posts: 29
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 1:11 am 
 

Bryce288 wrote:
Serious song, ridiculous name
Chained up in chains - Cauldron

Seriously?
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AleXTreme
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 11:09 pm
Posts: 362
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:11 am 
 

necrocaguamon... its like ehm... necro big beer or something like that :scratch:

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balkonas
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2008 10:55 am
Posts: 456
Location: Lithuania
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:15 am 
 

HailChaos wrote:
These guys are like the brutal death metal version of anal cunt, except less talented.

You're saying that Anal Cunt are tallented?
Holy Shit
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Clappamungus
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:51 pm
Posts: 33
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:34 am 
 

I got a chuckle out of these guys:

Black Arrows of Filth and Impurity

With the songs "If Shit Were Gold, Than The Poor Wouldn't Have Assholes" and "Damn Girlfriend, This Napalm Exfoliates As It Burns..." I mean, how could they not be awesome? ;)

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superchef79
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:18 am
Posts: 94
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:34 am 
 

Probably the most goregrind album i heard was form a band called Torsofuck
i think the album was called "High Level Cannibalistic Violence"

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lord_evisceration
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:40 am
Posts: 392
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:56 am 
 

Blood Duster have a few funny ones:
The Meat Song (Stiffy In McDonalds)
Knee Deep In Menstrual Blood (The Bleeding Bitch Returns)
Raping the Elderly

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j03
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 20, 2007 5:49 am
Posts: 40
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:02 am 
 

Chainsaw Maturbation has some funny titles:

- I Ejaculated In Your Sons Eye And Forced Him To Lick My Anus While Getting Butt Fucked By Two Large Prison Inmates

- Lubed Donkey Dick With Ham And Gravy

- A Childs Intestines Torn Out And Masticated

- The Metal Spikes That Pierced My Erection Hurt When I Spank The Monkey

- I'd Fuck Anything On Two Legs (except Michael Jackson)

- You Ever Just Feel Like Calmly Picking Up Your Computer, Silently Walking Towards A Window, And Throwing It The Fuck Out Of The Window?

- Help me! My Dick Got Stuck In a Blender Someone Put In My Blowup Doll!
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Illyria
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:45 am
Posts: 102
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:58 am 
 

Marduk - Those of the Unlight

...unlight? Really? What's that, like, the opposite of light?`I guess "dark" didn't sound evil enough.

And I always loved Emperor's "The Acclamation of Bonds", because it makes me think of an evil wizard buying stocks at Wall street.
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Milo
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:56 pm
Posts: 478
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:12 am 
 

MortalScum wrote:
"Get That Thing Outta My Butt"


Haha, really funny without the need of being overly gross. That said, "A Childs Intestines Torn Out And Masticated" is so over the top it's pretty funny.

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Milo
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:56 pm
Posts: 478
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:15 am 
 

AppleQueso wrote:
Fuck... I'm Dead has some pretty amusing ones, especially "Jeffery Dahmer's Cookbook"


"Spray me with Fecal Matter" always makes me crack a smile.

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screamingstatue
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:06 am
Posts: 576
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:20 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I lolled, and I'm a teenage girl!

I still maintain that Rumpelstilskin Grinder is the best band name ever, if not as overtly crazy as some of the previous ones posted in this thread.

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Goatfangs
Wicker Mantis

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2175
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:26 pm 
 

LOLRAYCIZM

http://metal-archives.com/release.php?id=78293
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MetalNewbie
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:58 am
Posts: 57
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:51 pm 
 

screamingstatue wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I lolled, and I'm a teenage girl!

I still maintain that Rumpelstilskin Grinder is the best band name ever, if not as overtly crazy as some of the previous ones posted in this thread.


Oh yeah, I forgot about them... Them, Goblin Cock, and Carniverous Erection were by far the most over-the-top that I've seen in big name commercial stores (where I am in Canada they carry a bit more real metal than some places) and I just remembered a kall to whips as it was posted... Also, the album cover for Misantropical (nice play on words) Painforest looks like it's a drawing by a 10 year old!
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 1:20 pm 
 

screamingstatue wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I lolled, and I'm a teenage girl!

That's good, but I wonder how many women who are into metal or not, would find something like that offensive. I mean, a lot of the posts here are women-bashing to some degree, so do you or any other women here get even a little offended by that?
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screamingstatue
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:06 am
Posts: 576
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 1:26 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
screamingstatue wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I lolled, and I'm a teenage girl!

That's good, but I wonder how many women who are into metal or not, would find something like that offensive. I mean, a lot of the posts here are women-bashing to some degree, so do you or any other women here get even a little offended by that?


I rarely get offended at song titles, etc, there are more important things to speak out about in the world than some unknown metal bands having (mostly playfully) misogynistic lyrics, IMO.

Of course, ''all girls who are into metal are poseur whores'' type posts and attitudes annoy me greatly, but, what can you do. Unfortunately, there ARE a lot of girls into the metal scene who are there solely to get laid and/or look like they have something in common with some guy they have the hots for.

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Milo
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:56 pm
Posts: 478
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 1:30 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
screamingstatue wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I lolled, and I'm a teenage girl!

That's good, but I wonder how many women who are into metal or not, would find something like that offensive. I mean, a lot of the posts here are women-bashing to some degree, so do you or any other women here get even a little offended by that?


I think the sense of dark humour helps chicks to take stuff like this lightly. Obvioulsy, however, I don't think any girl would have an easy time getting past Gorgasm's extreme misoginy, for exemple.

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MetalNewbie
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:58 am
Posts: 57
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:26 pm 
 

screamingstatue wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
screamingstatue wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
"I Caught A Girl Playing On My Lawn So I Rubbed A Cheese Grater Against Her Genitalia"

From this delightful album.


I lolled, and I'm a teenage girl!

That's good, but I wonder how many women who are into metal or not, would find something like that offensive. I mean, a lot of the posts here are women-bashing to some degree, so do you or any other women here get even a little offended by that?


I rarely get offended at song titles, etc, there are more important things to speak out about in the world than some unknown metal bands having (mostly playfully) misogynistic lyrics, IMO.

Of course, ''all girls who are into metal are poseur whores'' type posts and attitudes annoy me greatly, but, what can you do. Unfortunately, there ARE a lot of girls into the metal scene who are there solely to get laid and/or look like they have something in common with some guy they have the hots for.


I disagree, well... at least in my city anyway. There are a ton of metalhead girls here and I've never met any that only pretend to like metal to get sex. Some of them do try and get action from different band guys but those few are just slutty... they do enjoy metal still.

And no I'm not offended at all by band titles like this, if I was going to be offended it'd be something less extreme and therefore more likely to actually be serious. Regardless though misoginy doesn't offend me. I mean, I don't want someone to harass me but I don't care either if a guy only wants sex from a girl so long as he doesn't harass or rape. I've been in relationships with guys who only wanted to get in my pants and then leave me and I never got hurt, it was simple not to. I just don't sleep with a new boyfriend until after a month or two of dating, I'll cuddle and foreplay with them but won't have sex until after a bit. If they're interested in ME then they'll usually have the patience, if they just want sex they're either super desperate to wait or they'll get bored with me and leave. :) No damage done.

And plus, I don't expect guys to respect a girl who doesn't respect herself, and most girls I know have no respect for themself. Double-standards are lame, but meh they don't really bother me either. I like what Immortal Technique said though:

These people are only players because they got played/
And have not let go of that shit since the seventh grade/
Yeah you got your heart broke, life sucks doesn't it/
But you shouldn't fuck up someone else's life because of it/
Someone did your mother like that, that's why you're fatherless/
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MetalNewbie
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:58 am
Posts: 57
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:28 pm 
 

Just remembered this band too...

Thee Kvlt ov (((Ouroboros
album: Rehearsalis Megatherion
some very funny stereotypical black metal song titles.
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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 2308
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 3:14 pm 
 

Goatfangs wrote:


See, (and I would assume they're being ironic), a Satanic KKK group wouldn't even make sense as the KKK was a radical Christian-offshoot that usually believed all non-whites were of the devil.
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